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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Kapil Question by Kapil on Apr 28, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

we are married since 7 years, but we are fighting on very little issues. she dont hv any respect for me, i am simple and good but it seems she wanted some very smart and rich guy as compare to me, what should i do.

Ans: It's concerning to hear that you and your wife are fighting frequently and that she does not have respect for you. It's important to address these issues before they escalate and cause further damage to your relationship.

One option is to consider couples therapy or marriage counseling. A trained therapist can help you both identify the root causes of your conflicts, improve communication, and develop strategies for resolving issues in a constructive and respectful way.

It's also important to have open and honest conversations with your wife about how you're feeling and what you would like to see change in your relationship. Try to approach these conversations in a non-confrontational way, using "I" statements instead of blaming or attacking language. For example, instead of saying "You never respect me," try saying "I feel disrespected when you speak to me that way."

If your wife is not receptive to therapy or open communication, it may be necessary to reassess the future of your relationship. Remember, it's important to be in a relationship where both partners feel valued, respected, and loved.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

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I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |797 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats. My wife is also working and she also having descent salary. I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old. My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life. My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc. Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her. We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier. Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init. I am just living for my Kids betterment.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |797 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu I am a 36 year old IT pro with a beautiful family (wife and 2 kids) 1 year back, i had a coworker (shes married but widowed with 1 kid) with whom i had to work on a project..we shared a good friendship and unfortunately on one occasion, under the influence of alcohol, i went overboard and had a deep sexual chat with her..it was mutual and the next day i really felt bad and apologized to her.she also said it was ok.. After that i avoided her but she kept on giving singals to continue the relationship, i sternly avoided her and pleaded with her in message and call to leave me..during the time of sexual chat, i never knew she was a widow else i wud not have done that..shes now harassing me and stalking me on social media..i really feel bad for what i did to her and am over ridden with guilt..she says lets be friends as she has no one to turn on to.. but i pretend to be as she still has that chat messages and if she raises an ombuds i will be out of the job..but worse of all, i do not want this to destroy my family life. I love my wife and kids and she wont take this easily if i disclose this to her .pls suggest a way out of this..i am really desperate..it was jus a chat and i am a train wreck now..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is a bit messy...It could land you into a lot of trouble and obviously you didn't know that when you were chatting with her, right?
Avoiding her hasn't worked and the best thing possibly now would be to just be polite yet firm where she feels that she is not being snubbed. Also consider taking your wife into confidence as this will eliminate the chance of ruining your peace at home. Come clean and confess to your wife and request her to support you; of course she might give you a earful, listen to all of it.
You have a price to pay for the fun that you had that one time; so take it in your stride and tread carefully...be kind to the woman and be honest with your wife. You can only pray that this can keep you out of trouble.
And the next time you drink, kindly keep your phone away...

All the best!
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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |56 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam , we are in relationship of total 3 yrs in which long distance is for 2 years we both have their colleges in different state now question arises to our mind about future that we both no we will do job in same location where we study we we both can't compromise to go to any other states as there is less opportunity as we both are in different field this is one of the problem and other is his parents are so strict and belongs to bhramin family they don't accept intercaste marriage even he don't want to step out from his home as he want to take care of his parents .and we are very sure that we don't want to compromise our careers . So how our marriage is possible ? Should we have to leave each other prior to the day comes or is there any solution to it which we both can compromise ??
Ans: Hmmm lets simplify this, what would you tell your friend if she comes and tells you that she has met someone wonderful BUT his parents will not accept her and he will make no efforts to make it work...I am assuming you will tell her to put this relationship on hold for sometime...which means putting it on hold with no interaction, stopping all interactions - giving him space and time to think about it...do this for 6 months to 12 months, this does not mean dating someone else. Here he needs to find a solution, if he does its a win-win, if he does not then he may not be someone she may wish to be in a relationship with...and in the meantime you are likely to ask her to focus on her career. My response to your query will be on the same lines.
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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |60 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

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Health
Hi Sir, My wife as sever pain in left foot at point where finger starts from foot. pain is like that some wound is there, but from outside its ok. could you please guide what can be cause for this and how to cure this. Thanks Sunil
Ans: Hello,

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's pain. The location you described, where the pain is at the point where the finger starts from the foot, could indeed be caused by various conditions such as corns or plantar fasciitis, as you mentioned.Corns are small areas of thickened skin that develop as a result of pressure or friction. They can cause pain and discomfort, especially when walking or wearing tight shoes. Plantar fasciitis, on the other hand, is inflammation of the thick band of tissue (plantar fascia) that runs across the bottom of the foot. It commonly causes stabbing pain near the heel or along the arch of the foot, but it can sometimes affect other areas of the foot as well.To determine the exact cause of your wife's pain and the best course of treatment, it would be advisable for her to visit a physiotherapist or a healthcare professional specializing in foot conditions. They can conduct a thorough examination, possibly including imaging tests if necessary, to make an accurate diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment options. In the meantime, she can try some self-care measures to alleviate the pain, such as resting the foot, applying ice packs, wearing comfortable and supportive footwear, using over-the-counter pain relievers, and possibly using orthotic inserts or pads to reduce pressure on the affected area.I hope your wife finds relief soon.
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Vivek

Vivek Shah  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 25 years old and investing 2k in quant small cap, 2k in Nippon small cap, 1k in parag Parikh flexi, 1k in Motilal Oswal midcap, 1k in HDFC mid cap. Is it good for long term like 30 years. Plz advice me
Ans: Hello,

Your portfolio seems to be well-diversified across different sectors and market caps, which is generally a good approach for long-term investing. Here are a few things to consider:

Performance History: Look at the historical performance of each mutual fund scheme over various time frames (1 year, 3 years, 5 years, and since inception). Compare it with relevant benchmarks and peer group averages to assess how well the fund has performed.

Fund Manager Experience: Evaluate the experience and track record of the fund manager. A skilled and experienced fund manager can significantly impact the performance of the fund.

Expense Ratio: Consider the expense ratio of each mutual fund scheme. Lower expense ratios mean more of your investment returns stay with you rather than being eaten up by fees.

Investment Strategy: Understand the investment strategy of each mutual fund scheme. Make sure it aligns with your risk tolerance, investment goals, and time horizon. For example, small-cap funds tend to be riskier but offer higher growth potential, while flexi-cap funds offer more flexibility in asset allocation.

Asset Allocation: Ensure that your overall portfolio is well-diversified across different asset classes, sectors, and market caps. Avoid overconcentration in any single fund or sector.

Risk Management: Assess the risk management practices of each mutual fund scheme. Look for funds with a disciplined approach to risk management and a focus on preserving capital during market downturns.
Fund House Reputation: Consider the reputation and credibility of the mutual fund house managing the scheme. A well-established and reputable fund house is more likely to have robust investment processes and governance standards.

Regular Review: Regularly review the performance and portfolio composition of each mutual fund scheme. Make adjustments to your portfolio as needed based on changes in your investment objectives, market conditions, and fund performance.
It's also a good idea to consult with a SEBI registered investment advisor who can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. They can help you build a well-structured investment portfolio tailored to your needs.

It's also a good idea to consult with a SEBI registeredinvestment advisor who can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. They can help you build a well-structured investment portfolio tailored to your needs.
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Vivek

Vivek Shah  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

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Money
Why continue investing through SIPs in a volatile market?
Ans: Hello,

Continuing to invest through SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) in a volatile market can be a prudent strategy for several reasons, especially in the context of the Indian stock market:

Rupee Cost Averaging: SIPs allow investors to buy more units when prices are low and fewer units when prices are high. This averaging effect can potentially reduce the overall cost of investment over time, mitigating the impact of market volatility.
Disciplined Approach: SIPs encourage a disciplined approach to investing by automating the investment process. Investors commit to investing a fixed amount regularly, regardless of market conditions, which can help avoid emotional decision-making during periods of volatility.
Long-Term Focus: Investing through SIPs is ideal for investors with a long-term investment horizon. While short-term market fluctuations can be unsettling, they are often smoothed out over the long term. By staying invested through SIPs, investors can benefit from the compounding effect and the potential for higher returns over time.
Opportunity to Buy Low: Volatility in the market presents opportunities to buy quality stocks at discounted prices. SIP investors can take advantage of these market dips by continuing to invest regularly, potentially enhancing their portfolio's overall returns when the market rebounds.
Diversification Benefits: SIPs allow investors to spread their investments across different market segments and asset classes over time. This diversification can help reduce overall portfolio risk and enhance long-term returns, even in a volatile market environment.
However, it's essential for investors to review their investment objectives, risk tolerance, and financial goals periodically, and consult with a qualified financial advisor to ensure that SIPs align with their overall financial plan. Additionally, investors should be prepared for short-term fluctuations and exercise patience during periods of market volatility.
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Vivek

Vivek Shah  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

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Money
Hello sir, I have started SIP in motilal oswal Nasdaq 100 of 100 fund since last 6 months. Should I continue with this?
Ans: Hello Vaibhav,

Firstly, it's essential to assess your investment goals, risk tolerance, and the suitability of the investment in your portfolio. The Motilal Oswal Nasdaq 100 Fund offers exposure to some of the largest and most innovative companies listed on the Nasdaq Stock Market, providing an opportunity for diversification and potential growth.

Considering you've been investing in the fund for the past six months, it's a good start to evaluate its performance against your expectations and the broader market trends. While short-term fluctuations are common in the stock market, analyzing the fund's performance relative to its benchmark index and peers can offer valuable insights.

Additionally, review the fund's investment strategy, portfolio composition, and expense ratio to ensure they align with your investment objectives and risk profile. Regular monitoring of your investments is crucial to adapt to changing market conditions and make necessary adjustments to your portfolio.

Ultimately, the decision to continue with your SIP in the Motilal Oswal Nasdaq 100 Fund should be based on your long-term financial goals, investment horizon, and comfort level with market volatility. If the fund continues to meet your expectations and remains in line with your investment strategy, it may be prudent to stay invested.

However, if you have concerns about the fund's performance, changes in your financial situation, or shifts in your investment objectives, it's advisable to reassess your investment strategy and consult with a qualified financial advisor to explore alternative options.

Remember, investing is a journey that requires careful planning, patience, and periodic review. I encourage you to stay informed, stay focused on your goals, and make decisions that align with your financial aspirations.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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