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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Pspk Question by Pspk on Apr 12, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I love someone (one side love)...one day i want to communicate with him i start chating with him..but some days i came to know that he has bad habits like drinking smoking..so i want to stop talking with him and want to leave my love..but he was messaged me..i replied to his messages..but now i want to talk with but he ignoring me..he reading my messages but not replying..i want to forgot him but i cant he is ignoring me what can i do

Ans: Dear Pspk,

Smoking and drinking are bad habits, but if they aren't highly addicted to them, breaking up might have been a bit extreme. But I understand that it might have been unacceptable for you at the moment.

Coming to the present issue in hand, if he is ignoring your texts, there is a chance that he has moved on, or maybe he is still angry with your decision. Give it some time; if he still does not contact you on his own or replies to your message, it might be time to accept the reality- he doesn't want to patch up. Like you decided to leave when you did not like his habits, and he respected it, you have to respect his choice to remain separated. Not all relationships are meant to work.

Focus on yourself; hang out with your friends; talk to people close to you. And most importantly, give it some time. One more small tip, if you happen to get back together, please discuss his smoking and drinking habits and how the two of you will deal with them. Neither of you should have to settle for the other. Find a middle ground.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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In the starting me and my boyfriend couldn't stop talking to each other but because of some exams i wasn't able to talk to him often .. in the starting he asked me whether I need any help or how am i doing but now he barely communicates and he is not romantic as usual on texts and even replies me late .... I tried to communicate but his replies are getting shorter day by day ....
Ans: It's understandable that exams can take up a lot of your time and energy, but it's also important to make sure you're still maintaining a healthy level of communication with your partner.

It sounds like your boyfriend's behavior has changed recently, and you're feeling concerned about it. It's possible that he is preoccupied with something else, such as his own exams or other personal issues, which could explain why he's not communicating as much or as often as he used to.

However, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling. Express your concerns and ask him if everything is okay on his end. It's possible that he may not even realize that his behavior has changed and that it's affecting you.

When you talk to him, try to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" statements to express your own feelings and avoid blaming or accusing him. For example, you might say something like, "I've noticed that we haven't been communicating as much as we used to, and I'm feeling a little disconnected from you. Is everything okay on your end?"

If he doesn't respond positively or seems unwilling to talk about the issue, it may be a sign that he's not as invested in the relationship as you are. In that case, it's important to take care of yourself and consider whether this relationship is meeting your needs and making you happy. it might be best to give him some space for a while. It's important to respect his boundaries and not push him to communicate if he's not ready or willing to do so.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 23, 2023

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I am 12th passed student and I had a bf around feb .Everything was perfectly fine in the starting but then somehow our talks got less and i asked him if everything was ok bcoz i felt strange whenever we talked through texts. He said he is tired and doesn't wanna talk and did not know what happened to him ... Plus exams were ongoing so I supported the way I can but i knew something was off ... As the time passed things got worse. I asked how much time u need to be urself .. u are going out with ur friends but don't wanna talk to me neither u asked how i am for past dew weeks or a month . In the last he said leave I am not good enough for you. Everything thing we talked was on snapchat app. I was so depressed plus my exam result were less then expected. I stopped using any social media.. There wasn't a single day i missed him or thought of seeing the snaps but somehow i made myself I understand that If u were imp he wouldn't talk about leaving...ig ... But still I do miss him when everything was started and ended by him... On 14th My frnd texted me asking abt my result and she said she will ask him aswell( she doesn't know abt us dating) ... And after a week i.e today i downloaded the app and i saw that he sent me snaps till 14th and they all were deleted and after that there was nothing. Somehow i feel that there must be some conversations between my frnd and him. But what i feel now is that i regret why i didn't saw his msgs when i missed him. It makes me feel regret and sad . Whenever i think about it i forget all that disrespect but at the same time something stops me . Idk what kind of feeling is this ... All ik that there was a little communication between us that was also gone ... I just wanna overcome but i cant . Its gonna be a month and these emotions are really making me feel depressed. I even start making scenarios and stories in my mind . Idk what is happening to me . Pls help me overcome this what should i do ?
Ans: Dear Radha,

I understand that you are experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment, but listen to me, this too shall pass. You won't feel this way three months from now. Six months from now, you will find it funny that you even felt this way once, and you might even regret focusing on your ex than your exams. Two years from now, you will even forget how you felt on this day; you will forget the sorrow, you will forget how lonely and helpless you felt. You will move on. Everyone does. Look at the bigger picture and these feelings that you are experiencing today will seem small.

Now, coming to how you can deal with it at present- focus on your studies; everything can wait, but your career won't. Hang out with your friends; tell them how you are feeling. Talking about pain is known to give some kind of relief. No one can take it from you, but having someone to listen to it can help. Focus on your health- mental and physical; workout a bit. It helps. And, in the end, let time do its magic.

P.S. If he says he's not good enough for you, believe it. You deserve better; even your ex thinks so. So why don't you?

Best Wishes!
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |159 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |802 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Hi ma'am, something happened between me and my boyfriend as usual fights. His parents misunderstood him and me as well that I've gotten sick due to our fights and that he left me halfway through my house, which he didn't. And due a lot more misunderstandings he's parents have developed bit of a rage against me and they are blackmailing him to not try to Contact or call me or else they'd end their lives and he is scared cause he is an only child. Even if he wishes and tries to reach me he cannot because of his parents. What can be done in this situation. Now i don't understand shall i wait for him to come back or just move on. Since we haven't met or spoken for the last time. I haven't heard anything from him and his parents are saying he doesn't want to talk to anyone.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Do not waste your time...his parents and then him; you will constantly be in a stressful spot convincing either one of them that you are the person. If your boyfriend also feels the same as you about the relationship, then he will do something to support you.
If he doesn't and all that is becoming your job, then seriously do not waste any more time on this. And if he really wanted, he would have found a way of reaching out to you.
The very fact that you haven't heard much from him is a huge red flag. Focus on yourself and better people who respect you and your love will come along...
(My suggestions are only under the assumption that you and your boyfriend are above the age of 18 and 21 respectively).

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |802 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am 47 year old. I have 2 kids one is in adolescent in age and other is 8 y.o. I and my wife are very much comfort and enjoy sex life since inception of our marriage. But, from last 7 years, i am in relation with a beautiful girl, whom i met as a sex worker, when she was 24. Her only source of income is her work (i.e., sex work). She is astonishingly beautiful. I went mad after since the day i met her. thought i could not do sex at first time, i did it in the next time and till now we mated just 7 times. She is epilepsy patient and she is very serious about her family. She has to look after her mother, a younger sister who is studying Law and two of her sister's kids ( her sister died ). She asks me for help whenever she falls short of money. She went to dubai in 2018, and continued her work there. I asked her to leave her job and assured a good income source and a respectful life. She hesitated to concur on my plan. The whole issue is known to my wife. She married an Indian residing in Dubai recently but for her bad luck, he is untraceable from 2 monhts in a war proned country. Now, she asked my help again after 8 months. we both were not in touch in these days. I lent her my helping hand again and expressed if she would have married me, i would have kept her happy. She loves me a lot, but since i am a married man, she does not want to create problem in my married life. I can convince my wife about her, but she (girlfriend) is not ready for it for the fear of my wife. I just can't imagine my life without her. that much i love her. I don't wish to destroy her married life either. If she gets her husband back, i will be happy, but i will be living in her memory forever, as i just cannot expect my life without her. I need your suggestion. whether to come out of her relation or continue if her hubby misses forever.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You do realize the mess that you are creating for yourself, your wife and this lady?
Do you really think it is possible to live in harmony with all these complications and then there's an absconding husband at the other end?
Be sane about the whole thing and focus on what's important to you...Your children need a stable family environment and you do not need to be told how crucial this is for them given their age...And just because your wife isn't complaining that does not mean, you just overlook what all this must be doing to her. Put your life back together and leave some things alone to sort themselves out...

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |802 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu I am a 36 year old IT pro with a beautiful family (wife and 2 kids) 1 year back, i had a coworker (shes married but widowed with 1 kid) with whom i had to work on a project..we shared a good friendship and unfortunately on one occasion, under the influence of alcohol, i went overboard and had a deep sexual chat with her..it was mutual and the next day i really felt bad and apologized to her.she also said it was ok.. After that i avoided her but she kept on giving singals to continue the relationship, i sternly avoided her and pleaded with her in message and call to leave me..during the time of sexual chat, i never knew she was a widow else i wud not have done that..shes now harassing me and stalking me on social media..i really feel bad for what i did to her and am over ridden with guilt..she says lets be friends as she has no one to turn on to.. but i pretend to be as she still has that chat messages and if she raises an ombuds i will be out of the job..but worse of all, i do not want this to destroy my family life. I love my wife and kids and she wont take this easily if i disclose this to her .pls suggest a way out of this..i am really desperate..it was jus a chat and i am a train wreck now..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is a bit messy...It could land you into a lot of trouble and obviously you didn't know that when you were chatting with her, right?
Avoiding her hasn't worked and the best thing possibly now would be to just be polite yet firm where she feels that she is not being snubbed. Also consider taking your wife into confidence as this will eliminate the chance of ruining your peace at home. Come clean and confess to your wife and request her to support you; of course she might give you a earful, listen to all of it.
You have a price to pay for the fun that you had that one time; so take it in your stride and tread carefully...be kind to the woman and be honest with your wife. You can only pray that this can keep you out of trouble.
And the next time you drink, kindly keep your phone away...

All the best!
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