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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Sandhya Question by Sandhya on Apr 10, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Actually I'm in a relationship and he is loving someone already he is getting Marry also her only this everything I know already but he is really happy with me even I love him but he promised to marry her so only he is getting Marry her because that promise he can't break but he loves me so much now we both r crying thinking about this all now what can do

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner are going through a difficult situation. It can be incredibly painful to be in love with someone who is committed to another person.

It's important to remember that your partner has made a commitment to someone else and is planning to marry that person. While it may be tempting to hold onto the hope that they will leave their current partner for you, it's also important to be realistic about the situation and respect their choices.

It's also important to consider your own feelings and needs in this situation. Are you willing to continue a relationship with someone who is committed to someone else? Are you willing to share your partner's love and attention with someone else? These are difficult questions to consider, but it's important to be honest with yourself about what you're willing to accept in a relationship.

Communication is key in any relationship, and it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you're feeling and what you want out of the relationship. However, it's important to be prepared for the possibility that your partner may not be able to give you what you want or need.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue the relationship or move on is up to you. It may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist as you navigate this challenging situation.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |821 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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Relationship
 Hi I’m 40 yrs now and. I have a male friend of 23 years old we r good friends. I helped him financially and emotionally and take care of his house his expenses and he too is good but I love him as I have feelings for him but he is more into girls. Initially I managed all his things but he is now into serious relationship with a girl and also wants to marry her but I’m unable to digest that. I know he is right he is moving ahead in life but I’m struck there loving him and he also wants to make his career and be with me, go abroad. We both want to plan to go together but I’m worried as will I tolerate him in all this aspects? Will I see him happy with someone else whom he loves? Should I ignore his relationship and focus on our friendship which is hard. Don’t know what to do kindly suggest plz.
Ans:

Dear JH,

Hang on! Let’s get all the facts right here…

1. He loves you and you love him
2. You supported him financially and emotionally
3. He also wants to be with other girls
4. He is currently in a relationship with another girl and also claims that he will travel abroad
5. You both plan to be together

Did I get all the facts right?

Take a step back and just figure out if he is just missing a ‘Mother Figure’ in his life and if he is actually thinking of you as one.

That’s what you will always be to him if that is the case. Watch how you are playing with your emotions here as whatever be the age, when a heart breaks, it really does break!

Ask yourself: What is it that I am getting from this relationship? Is it love, it is eliminating loneliness, is it validation OR is it you wanting to share love that you have?

These are not reasons enough to be with a person and lock your emotions with. The future is always unknown and uncertain but delve into your heart and simply ask: Do I really want to test the waters OR Do I create my life the way that I want on my own terms as a 40-year old who is complete charge of life? You will clearly get your answer.

All the best and create a beautiful life for yourself.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |821 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I'm studying BTech final year. My love and I were in a relationship since 5 years. Things were fine till our diploma. I got a seat in another college which was far from our place. At the same time, he moved to his hometown for house construction. There he met a girl. She is 34. He used to talk a lot to her and got attached to her. He tells everything to me. He even said that people were spreading wrong rumours about them. I told him to stay away till things got better. Since then he has stopped telling me much. There was a recent fight in his hometown relating to both of them which annoyed him. He continues to say there is nothing wrong between both of us. He used to love me a lot. Whenever I felt insecure or if there was any mood swings he used to make me calm and relaxed. Now-a-days he always tells me ‘Wait. Don't call me.’ If I call him more, he just scolds me. There are no sweet talks or setting time aside for a call, and all. He even says ‘I promised that I'll be with her at any time in any problem and now because everyone is spreading rumours I can't break my promise to her.’ What about me? Didn't you promise to make me happy? I feel betrayed.I got angry and told him that my parents are seeing matches for me. His reply shook me. He said: 'Go, get married.’ I was like ‘you aren't the same.’ I don't understand what to do or how to set things right.My mental health is getting worse.
Ans:

Dear S,

Your letter is very confusing to me.

I hope your post is genuine and not just to have fun…despite that I will consider it real and try to suggest what I can though I find your facts very contradictory.

Keeping the age factor aside, what I can say is: if someone does not treat you well, what’s the point waiting for that person?

If he isn’t interested in you, why are you chasing him?

Please make your world better by being around people who respect and value you and watch how beautiful it all becomes rather than searching and begging for love. He clearly isn’t into you anymore. So, move on…

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 21, 2023Hindi
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |843 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |316 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Career
Ny son is doind bachelor of Phesiothrepy and want to study further for post graduation in USA or some other country please tell me full detail for admission after he can work there or not
Ans: Hello,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. I am glad to hear that your son is currently pursuing his Bachelor of Physiotherapy and further intends pursuing his post-graduation in the USA or some other country. To answer your question first, I would like to let you know that pursuing physiotherapy is a fulfilling career, and opting for PG studies overseas can present outstanding chances for development and specialization. Concerning your query regarding the procedure for admission and future employment possibilities for your son in the USA or another country, I would suggest that you consider the following:

As part of the admission procedure, your son should first conduct a comprehensive study on postgraduate programs in physiotherapy or associated fields both in the USA or other countries. He should look for universities with a solid standing in his field of expertise. Next, remember that the admission prerequisites for each university is unique. These generally entail submitting academic marksheets, scores of standardized tests viz., the GMAT or GRE, a personal statement or statement of purpose (SOP), endorsement letters, and at times, professional experience. Your son may be required to prove his fluency in English through appearing for tests viz., the IELTS or TOEFL, if he's a non-native English speaker. According to the particular guidelines set by each university, your son will then need to submit his application via mail or through the university's online portal. If your son is accepted, as the next step, he will need to apply for a student visa. Remember that based on the country he wishes to study in, this procedure can differ. Nevertheless, I would like to tell you that guidance for the same can be provided by the university's international student office. Lastly, make sure your son is aware of the costs associated with attending, viz., tuition fees, costs of living, and any scholarships or financial aid that may be applicable.

Concerning your query regarding employment opportunities post-graduation, I would like to tell you that your son, upon completing his studies in the USA, may qualify for Optional Practical Training (OPT), which permits international students to work for up to one year following graduation in their area of expertise. Nevertheless, an extension of up to 36 months is available for OPT in some STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) programs. Your son should think about applying for an H-1B visa if he intends working in the USA beyond OPT. This visa enables U.S. firms to temporarily employ foreign workers in specialty vocations. However, owing to yearly quotas, acquiring an H-1B visa might be challenging. Next, if your son intends studying in another country, I would like to tell you that he should look into the employment opportunities post-graduation that are available there. Remember that international students are offered post-study work visas or pathways to permanent residency by several nations. I would like to let you know that each country has different laws governing the practice of physiotherapy. To practice as a physiotherapist in a new country, your son may be required to take licensing examinations or further training. I would recommend that your son networks with industry professionals and looks for internship possibilities while he is studying. Remember that developing relationships and obtaining hands-on experience can improve your son’s career opportunities after graduating.

By adhering to these steps and taking into account the particular prerequisites and prospects in the destination of his choice, your son can pursue his postgraduate studies overseas and possibly start a fulfilling career in physiotherapy.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |843 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 25, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear Sir, I am 43 yrs old, and want to generate a corpus of 8 crs minimum at the age of 60, My current investment is around 1.40 crs in shares, around 40 lacs in EPF, and have recently started 1 lacs SIP per month in the below scheme, Franklin India Prima fund Regular plan Growth - 25K P/m, Parag Parikh flexi cap fund Regular plan growth - 25 K PM, ICICI Prudential Small cap fund Retail plab growth - 25K PM, DSP Black Rock Mid cap fund - Regular plan growth - 10 K PM, Kotak Multicap fund regular plan growth - 15K PM, Have my regular EMI of 1.1 Lacs P/m which goes from my salary and balance is used for kids education and monthly household expenses. Please suggest is this investment OK or i need to change it, Please note will be spending almost 70~80 Lacs between 2027 to 2030 for my son higher education.
Ans: It sounds like you're diligently planning for your future, which is commendable. At 43, aiming for a substantial corpus by 60 is a thoughtful goal. Your current investments show a balanced approach towards growth, which is a positive sign.

Considering your EMI commitments and impending expenses for your son's education, it's essential to assess the balance between your investments and financial responsibilities. Have you factored in inflation and potential market fluctuations in your projections? Remember, life is unpredictable, and plans may need adjustments along the way.

Your SIPs are a good start, but it might be worth reassessing the allocation to ensure it aligns with your long-term goals and risk appetite. A Certified Financial Planner would advise periodic reviews and adjustments to stay on track.

Given the upcoming educational expenses, perhaps revisiting your monthly allocations and exploring options to optimize your portfolio could be beneficial. It's all about striking the right balance between present commitments and future aspirations.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |843 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 25, 2024Hindi
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Money
Good Morning Sir, I'm partha working in Indian Railway as Clerk, sir i have 15 lakhs Loan in different banks. i'm fedup paying EMI's. Bank of Baroda agreed to give loan of 16 lakhs. my question is should i clear all Pending Loans and be free from Dedts or shall i construct 1st floor on my home with loan.what decision should i take sir
Ans: Partha,

Firstly, I truly understand the weight of the burden you're carrying with those EMIs. It's a challenging phase to constantly manage multiple debts. It's commendable that you're considering taking a step towards managing it better.

When faced with such a decision, it's essential to ask yourself what brings you peace of mind and long-term stability. Clearing off existing loans can offer a sense of relief, freeing you from the constant worry of repayments. Imagine the freedom from monthly obligations; isn't that a tempting thought?

On the other hand, investing in expanding your home sounds like a dream many of us have. It's not just about adding another floor; it's about creating more space for memories, growth, and family gatherings. But here's a thought - will this new construction enhance your quality of life significantly? And will it bring you closer to your long-term goals?

As a Certified Financial Planner, my suggestion would be to prioritize your financial freedom first. Once you clear those debts, you'll find it easier to focus on building a secure future. Remember, financial stability often brings along peace of mind and the freedom to dream bigger.

Take your time, weigh your options, and make a decision that aligns with your peace and future aspirations.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |821 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, i am 34 yrs old married for the last 4 yrs. I married a man knowing he is alcoholic. I had told him that I am not someone who is very fond of sex and I am very scared to have sex as I feel it's painful for which he was okay thinking I would change after marriage. Both of us din want to have kids. It's been 4 yrs I have not had sex Nor has he ever forced me to. Tat way he respects me is what I believe, the reason initially I used to deny was he used to drink and come home , just few days after being wed he came drunk abused me physically and verbally. Things escalated during lockdown he is mentally, verbally abusive , emotionally not available. He has a problem with everyone around him, I have told him multiple times that we could go for counseling, he says okay at times and later abuses me for suggesting it. I have always been there for him, supported mentally , emotionally and financially. But I get nothing in return. I used to feel it's all coz of me not having sex but will having sex just solve all this? It's not like I have not gone to meet psychiatrists I have and they advised me few things and I have also told my husband that let's have sex but he tells some reason. Also, we do get physical make out and everything except for sex. He says when he is in a good mood that it's not about sex. He has had this abusive behaviour right from day one. Why is sex given so much importance ? much more than basic care and affection? M I at fault here? Please help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's put it all in one form...
1. You married a man who has a drinking problem
2. You feel sex is painful and believe that it is
3. You wonder if having sex can solve all your problems
4. You want to know if basic care and affection can override sex
Who is at fault must not be your question but rather ask what can be done here to rebuild the marriage?
Firstly, if you husband has a drinking issue, why has this not been treated? Instead the focus is on sex and no sex...
Sure, sex is a part of any marriage and it certainly can help couples bond together in a better way. But is it the only thing to save a marriage? NO!
But it's possible that sex may help your husband communicate better with you at an emotional level as well. You see, physical and emotional bonding go hand in hand. And wherever you got the idea that sex is painful needs to worked upon. Honestly, you are missing out on a beautiful element within marriage.
Kindly seek professional help for yourself on this, your husband for his drinking issue and it will help going for couples therapy. Do what needs to be done to put your marriage back together. Long journey, if you feel this can actually help and that you want that help...

All the best!
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |316 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

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Career
Dear sir, my brother was doing b pharm right now next year he will graduate,, please suggest what he will proceed after doing b pharm sir
Ans: Hello Lomina,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear that your brother is currently pursuing his Bachelor of Pharmacy (B.Pharm) and will graduate next year. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that based on his interests and professional objectives, there are many career paths that your brother can pursue once he completes his degree. I would recommend that you consider the following:

Your brother can consider working as a pharmacist in retail pharmacies, hospitals, or community pharmacies. Remember that this is the most typical employment route for graduates of B.Pharm. Pharmacists provide medications, advise patients on how to take them safely, and other health-related services. If your brother possesses strong writing abilities, working as a medical writer, crafting content for regulatory bodies, pharmaceutical companies, or healthcare organizations, is one of the other jobs that he could choose from. Documents including clinical trial reports, regulatory filings, and instructional materials are created by medical writers. Your brother may choose to work as a hospital administrator, wherein he would be responsible for controlling pharmaceutical services in healthcare facilities, in turn, guaranteeing effective medication administration, and monitoring drug delivery networks. Another career path for your brother includes taking up a job as a clinical research associate (CRA) or working in other research-related roles in research institutions or pharmaceutical companies. Remember that in order to make sure new medications are safe and effective for use, this entails conducting trials to test them. He can also choose to work in drug safety and pharmacovigilance, checking if the medications sold are safe, looking into unfavorable incidents, and making sure safety rules are followed. Your brother can also take up a job in regulatory affairs, making sure that pharmaceutical items adhere to rules and norms established by regulatory bodies. This entails creating and submitting regulatory paperwork, verifying regulatory compliance, and coordinating with regulatory authorities. Your brother can also choose to work in quality control or quality assurance positions in pharmaceutical companies, making sure that products adhere to regulations and standards of quality. In addition to the above, I would like to let you know that your brother can also pursue further education, viz., a Master's degree (M.Pharm) or a Ph.D. in pharmaceutical sciences or associated disciplines. Remember that pursuing higher studies can lead to possibilities for teaching, research, or advanced roles in areas viz., pharmaceutics, pharmacognosy, medicinal chemistry, or pharmacology.

When choosing which career path to opt for upon finishing his Bachelor of Pharmacy (B.Pharm) degree, I would suggest that your brother takes into account his abilities, interests, and professional objectives. Lastly, I would like to say that acquiring practical experience through internships or entry-level work may prove beneficial, as this will allow your brother to investigate other career paths and learn valuable skills in the sector.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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