Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Sandhya Question by Sandhya on Apr 10, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Actually I'm in a relationship and he is loving someone already he is getting Marry also her only this everything I know already but he is really happy with me even I love him but he promised to marry her so only he is getting Marry her because that promise he can't break but he loves me so much now we both r crying thinking about this all now what can do

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner are going through a difficult situation. It can be incredibly painful to be in love with someone who is committed to another person.

It's important to remember that your partner has made a commitment to someone else and is planning to marry that person. While it may be tempting to hold onto the hope that they will leave their current partner for you, it's also important to be realistic about the situation and respect their choices.

It's also important to consider your own feelings and needs in this situation. Are you willing to continue a relationship with someone who is committed to someone else? Are you willing to share your partner's love and attention with someone else? These are difficult questions to consider, but it's important to be honest with yourself about what you're willing to accept in a relationship.

Communication is key in any relationship, and it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you're feeling and what you want out of the relationship. However, it's important to be prepared for the possibility that your partner may not be able to give you what you want or need.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue the relationship or move on is up to you. It may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist as you navigate this challenging situation.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
My boyfriend of last 2.5 years who is 25 years old and has a 11 years age gap with me has decided to get married to someone else as per families choice. I am writing to understand few things: we started of casually where i proposed to him. He initially hesitated and after thinking for few days, also wanted to start the relationship. Later time went by we became involved at deeper levels. We spent majority of the times together, have shared goals, we lookout for each other. He doesn't state his feelings very often. He takes care, enjoys spending time, we planned tris together, we know our families but not that we are involved. He takes care of many things and it was almost like a live-in. Now and then he used to come up and tell we should stop, I'll be like give us time when rhe thing about marriage comes we will see. Now the thing is initially when he wanted to leave he was telling we are like Radha and Krishna, now when i am standing my ground that i can't see him with another girl, he is telling i was never in love with you. He never tells i love you and i have accepted it that way. Now he is telling me that it was my thoughts that we are in love but he was never in love. Im a person well established in my field and holding 3 degrees , pursuing further Higher Education. He needed me during his studies, ive told it to him multiple times that you needed me when you had work. Ive inspired him to do things he never thought of. But now it is firing back. I was a mentor, a friend, a girlfriend, a cook, an everything. Where did i go wrong to think that it is love? What do i do? I feel jealous to see him with anyone. Please guide
Ans: His sudden change in behavior—claiming he was never in love—seems like a way to distance himself emotionally because of family pressure. It doesn’t mean you were wrong in your feelings; it shows he might have been conflicted all along.

Seeing him with someone else hurts, and that’s natural. You’ve given so much of yourself, and it’s hard to accept that it wasn’t reciprocated in the way you hoped. Right now, focus on healing and remember that you deserve someone who values you fully. Take the time you need to process this, and know that you didn’t do anything wrong. This is more about his struggles than anything you did.

Moving forward, it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being. This situation may require some time to process and heal from, and it's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused during this time. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, therapist, or counselor who can help you navigate these emotions and start focusing on your own needs and future.

In time, you might come to realize that this relationship, while significant, wasn’t the only path to happiness and fulfillment. You deserve a partner who reciprocates your love, acknowledges your worth, and is willing to build a future with you. For now, give yourself permission to grieve, but also start thinking about how you can rebuild your sense of self and eventually open up to new possibilities in your life.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |68 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
I am 47 years old, have saved approx 2.3 crs through mutual funds, nps, epf, etc. I save around Rs1.25 lacs pm. I wish to work for 5-8 more years. My son is in 12th and wants to pursue engineering. I live in office provided lease accommodation and dont own any house. Is purchasing a house in my name necessary or can I just continue to save for retirement and stay on rent? Will the corpus be enough when i retire after 5-8 years?
Ans: At 47, with a solid corpus of ?2.3 crore and monthly savings of ?1.25 lakh, you're on a strong financial path. If you continue saving for 5–8 years, assuming modest growth (10% annually), your corpus could grow to around ?4.5–5.5 crore—potentially sufficient for a comfortable retirement, especially if expenses are kept in check.

Buying a house isn’t strictly necessary unless emotional security or future housing stability is a priority. Renting can remain viable if you're disciplined with investments and ensure rising rents don’t strain your retirement income. You may also consider buying a smaller house closer to retirement, funded partially by your corpus, without compromising long-term returns.

Also factor in your son’s engineering expenses in the next few years, which could temporarily reduce your savings rate. Ensure you’re adequately insured (life and health) and have an emergency fund. A financial plan aligning your retirement income needs with inflation-adjusted expenses will help fine-tune your decisions.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

...Read more

Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |68 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |68 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, Me and my wife are 39 years old, our total in hand income from salary is 1.3 lakhs. I have a car loan EMI of 28100, 4 yrs left in tenure. We have personal loan EMI of total of 25k monthly and 4 yrs remaining. We have invested in 3k monthly in PPF and 6k monthly SIP in MF (both of us incuded). We pay rent of 26k per month. Our kid is 2.5 yrs old and we have put him in daycare as we have to go office. Daycare expenses are 9k per month, including his 3 times meal. Petrol expenses are 7k per month (have to take our own car as using public/shared/office transport takes additional 1 hr to an fro from office). Broadband and moble connection together costs us 2.2k per month and Electricity is 1.8k per month. Remaing amount is spent in Groceries+Misc. We dont have any gold/own house/land/parents house or any savings left nor do we have any cash left. We dnt have any insurance for neither of us. Our child is growing and we need money for his education and futue, we need to buy a home for ourself. How to plan for our child's education and future and our retirement and our income and our future.
Ans: Dear Deepankar,
At 39, with a child and heavy EMIs, focus first on stability. Get term insurance (?1 crore each) and family health insurance (?10–15 lakh). Build a 3-month emergency fund by cutting discretionary spends. Consider refinancing loans to reduce monthly EMIs. Pause SIPs temporarily; restart once debts ease. Shift to a more affordable rental if possible. Delay home buying until finances improve. Track every expense and optimize where possible. Later, restart SIPs for your child’s education and your retirement. Discipline and clear priorities now will secure your family's financial future. Consult a financial planner to structure goals and investment strategy effectively.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1291 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x