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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Sachin Question by Sachin on Apr 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Recently my elder brother has expired. His wife since after marriage has never shown in interest to behave well with my brother nor with my father, mother and me. More of she like to enjoy life, flirting. Since my brother nature was very soft, he never fighted with her on this and she has kept him under her control. She has one 7 year kid and she doesn't care at all about him. My mother and father are taking care of the kid. In such situations l, my father has transferred the house on my name and other finances stuff as well. Since my brother expired, she is now forcing my father to give her house. Nd my father is not willing to give her and want her to leave house. And send the kid to boarding school as he knows that she will ruined the kid life. Pls suggest how we can make her go away from our house and also make the kid future arrnagement.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother and the difficult situation you are facing. It's important to handle the situation with sensitivity and compassion, especially for the child involved.

Firstly, it's important to consider the legal aspects of the property transfer and ensure that everything is in order. You may want to consult with a lawyer or legal professional to understand your options and any legal implications of the situation.

In terms of making her leave the house, it's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also being firm about your boundaries. It may be helpful to have a family meeting to discuss the situation and come up with a plan together. You could suggest alternative housing options for her and the child, or offer to help her find a new place to live.

Regarding the child's future, it's important to prioritize their well-being and ensure that they are provided with a stable and nurturing environment. You may want to consider options such as counseling for the child, or exploring alternative living arrangements that would be in the best interest of the child.

It's also important to approach the situation with compassion and empathy for your brother's wife, even if her behavior has been difficult to deal with. Grief can manifest in different ways, and it's possible that she may be struggling with her own emotions and feelings of loss.

In any case, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the complexities of the situation and provide support to all involved.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, my only son aged 27yrs is in relationship with a girl aged 22yrs and she kept him as guarantor in her home loan of 20 lacs and took personal loan of 5 lacs from my son (which he took from NBFC and gave it to her). This all done without informing any of us in our family. She is from other state and she donot have any family members except her single mom. We have undivided family with conservative mind set. Our family members are not willing to accept her in the family as she is taking undue advantage from my son and feels untrustworthy....We have clarified to my son that in such a scenario you have to choose her or us leaving behind everything including the ancestral property. His girlfriend is not accepting him this and told him that she will accept him only if our family members accepts her. This has chaos in our calm and cool nature of our home as our son is throwing the tantrums everyday and disturbing the mental peace of every member of our family. Please advice us what can be done in this scenario as none of our family members are willing to accept her and also not wanting to part away my only son. Thanking you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Either your family sees her as someone who wants family approval and be happy with it OR you can doubt her as someone who has managed to cheat your son.
Which of it is true, only time will tell...Your son is blinded by love...how can you appeal to him? What can you say that will make him realize that he possibly can be cheated?
One way is to invite her to your home and ask her to come out clean about these money dealings and why your son chose to keep this information away from his family...If you are all convinced about her honesty, it will be easier to accept her into the family; otherwise there is a possibility that your son maybe able to see through her lies...
So, whether she is the right person for your son or not will be better known when you warmly invite her over and without any judgements give her a chance...making sense?

All the best!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8867 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, sorry it's a very long post My mother is 60year old homemaker(nil income) and father is 68yr old retired govt employee (recieving pension).we are 3 children [2 daughters ( all aged between 30-40yr)]to our parents.All of us are married and earning for our livelihood. We sisters are contributing to parents health insurance and other financial things since we started earning and even after marriage ( as my father is an alcoholic too not looking after the household well).Mother has a property in her name given to her by her father as a gift deed. Father had one house and a plot in his name and some ancestral property. Brother went to abroad for studies in 2018 and came back in 2020. He had a girlfriend since his college days( he married to her in 2022, never had objection from anyone of family members ). Since his arrival, he and his girlfriend started involving in all financial matters of my maternal house to the extent he was using my father's debit card for his own use( father says he has given card to brother willfully). Brother wanted to construct a commercial building in my mother's property. He and my father started threatening my mother to register her property ( actually located near Brother's girlfriend house) in name of brother saying if she doesn't agree ,they won't marry off my sister( who got married in 2022 in the presence of grandparents, mother and myself and both my father and brother didn't attend the marriage). They even extracted money from mother's account (which was given now and then to her by me and my sister).During all these process even brother's girlfriend ( wanted a source of income by renting my parents house)also started abusing my mother and involved in all financial matters ( that freedom was given to her by father and brother as my mother was suppressed and we sisters were not aware of things going on). Everything led to the abandonment of my mother who stayed in her friend's place then I brought her to my house. Now after 3 years ( during the course our wellwishers tried counselling and mediation between my father, brother and mother without sisters which didn't work out). my brother got my parents house( and a plot which was in my father's name) registered to his name as a gift deed from my father without informing mother. All the documents of the property gift deeded to my mother by her father is with my brother and father. They are threatening my mother if she enters her own property. Now my mother has no place and income though she had contributed extensively to upliftment of the family all over these years. She ran a grocery store for 15years during which one plot was bought and house was built in that. Another plot was bought after my parents marriage with the help of dowry money given to my father ) but all the properties were registered in my father's name. She has her contribution financially, emotionally and physically. Now doesn't my mother has right to ask back the house and the property given to my brother without her knowledge and to ask for maintenance from my father and also sue all three of them for mental and physical torture..? We sisters want her to lead a peaceful life in her final years of her life.. please guide us.
Ans: Evaluating Your Mother’s Rights

Your mother has been through a lot. Let's explore her legal and financial rights. She deserves to live peacefully in her final years.

Legal Rights Over Property

Your mother owns property gifted by her father. She has full rights over this property. The property can’t be taken without her consent. If your brother and father took documents, this is illegal.

Action Steps for Property

Retrieve Documents: Seek legal help to get back property documents.
Consult a Lawyer: Discuss the possibility of reclaiming the property.
File a Complaint: If threatened, your mother can file a police complaint.
Maintenance from Your Father

Your father has a duty to support your mother. She can claim maintenance from him. This can be done through legal channels.

Action Steps for Maintenance

Seek Legal Advice: A lawyer can help your mother file for maintenance.
Family Court: File a petition in family court for maintenance.
Right to Ancestral Property

Your mother contributed to the family. She can claim a share in ancestral property. The law supports her right to ancestral property.

Action Steps for Ancestral Property

Legal Consultation: Discuss the possibility of claiming ancestral property.
File a Suit: If needed, file a suit for partition of ancestral property.
Mental and Physical Torture

Your mother faced mental and physical torture. This is a serious issue. She can seek legal action against your brother, father, and sister-in-law.

Action Steps for Torture

File a Complaint: Lodge a complaint with the police for harassment.
Protection Orders: Seek protection orders from the court.
Health Insurance and Financial Support

You and your sister have supported your parents. Continue to ensure health insurance coverage. Your mother may need financial support until her rights are restored.

Action Steps for Financial Support

Joint Efforts: Continue supporting your mother financially.
Plan for Future: Set up a fund for your mother’s needs.
Investments for Secure Future

Consider investing in mutual funds for your mother’s secure future. Regular funds with the help of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) are beneficial. Avoid direct funds due to lack of professional advice.

Benefits of Regular Funds

Professional Management: CFPs manage the funds, ensuring optimal returns.
Less Hassle: No need for your mother to manage investments actively.
Tailored Advice: Investments tailored to her risk profile and needs.
Regular Review of Investments

Regularly review investments with a CFP. Adjust them based on your mother’s needs and market conditions. This ensures her financial security.

Final Insights

Your mother has rights over her property. She can claim maintenance from your father and her share in ancestral property. Legal action can be taken for mental and physical torture. Continue supporting her financially and ensure her health insurance coverage. Invest wisely with professional advice for her secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I have given my 2bhk family to my mother in law and brother in law. Over past few years they pay less rent 40% of market value rent. from oct 2023 brother in law lost job and he also has housing emi for 21L+ 3L personal loan. He is also not giving any rent also because of the.current situation. Now he is resorting to emotional black mail and citing senior citizen act stating daughter is liable to pay for living expenses. Already the current house they are staying can get 18K rent.We tried to arrange interview for his job but looks like he is not interested and he seems to be pshyco logical disturbed and talking all non sense. My mother in law is playing neutral role and saying yes to both side without taking a correct stand. My brother in-law is two divorce with history of drinking and physiological mental problems as stated by their ex-spouse.My ask 1. What are legal options available for me. 2. We want him to vacate our house and move to his own house or 1 bhk so that we can help with money from my 2bhk rent. 3. If nothing works can we make a first move of filing police compliant which I want as a last resort.
Ans: Firstly, seeking legal advice is crucial. A lawyer who specializes in property and family law can provide you with specific guidance based on your situation. They can review any rental agreements and help you understand the implications of the Senior Citizens Act that your brother-in-law is citing. This legal counsel will be invaluable in navigating the complexities of your situation.

Next, you might need to issue a formal notice to your brother-in-law and mother-in-law, requesting them to vacate the property. This notice should clearly articulate the reasons for your request, including the financial burden their reduced rent and non-payment are causing you. Provide them with a reasonable timeframe to find alternative accommodation, whether in his own house or a more affordable 1BHK apartment. This approach shows your willingness to support them while also addressing your legitimate concerns.

It's also important to communicate directly and openly with your mother-in-law. Her neutral stance may be contributing to the tension, and having a candid conversation about the situation's impact on your family could help her understand the need for a resolution. Explain the financial strain and the efforts you’ve made to assist your brother-in-law in finding employment. Her support could be pivotal in encouraging him to take more responsibility and action.

If these steps do not lead to a satisfactory resolution, you may have to consider involving the authorities. Filing a police complaint should be a last resort, but it is an option if your brother-in-law’s behavior becomes unmanageable or if he refuses to vacate the property despite all reasonable efforts. The aim here is to protect your family’s financial and emotional well-being while ensuring that your legal rights are upheld.

Throughout this process, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally draining, and seeking support from friends, a counselor, or a support group can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to handle these challenges effectively.

By taking these steps, you aim to find a balance between supporting your in-laws and protecting your own family’s interests. Remember, it’s important to act with compassion but also with a clear understanding of your rights and the need for fairness in this situation.

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2025
Money
I am 33 and I have around 6.4 Lakh Invested in Axis ELSS Tax Saver Fund,3 Lakh in SBI Long Term Equity Fund, 2.2 Lakh in SBI Bluechip Fund & 1.4 Lakh in SBI Focused Equity Fund. I am also running a 30000/- monthly SIP with almost 40% of it in Smallcap segment and 20% in Gold Fund. I have a NPS Auto Choice Account of 17 Lakh with a yearly addition of 1.2 lakh. How much can all this generate by the time of my retirement?
Ans: You have a strong base already. You are only 33 years old. You have around 25 years to grow your wealth till retirement. Let us analyse your total investments and long-term potential from a 360-degree view.

We will assess every part of your portfolio, the risks, the growth potential, and how you can improve it step by step.

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Your Present Investments in Mutual Funds

You have invested Rs. 6.4 lakh in ELSS, Rs. 3 lakh in a long-term equity fund, Rs. 2.2 lakh in a bluechip fund, and Rs. 1.4 lakh in a focused fund.

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Your total mutual fund lumpsum investment is Rs. 13 lakh.

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These funds are mostly equity-oriented and for long-term growth.

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ELSS funds are locked for 3 years but give tax benefits under section 80C.

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Your mix of ELSS, large cap and focused funds shows good diversification.

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The focus is more towards tax saving and large cap growth.

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This is suitable for someone with a stable income and long-term view.

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But your fund mix should be reviewed every year.

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Some funds may underperform over time and need replacement.

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Active monitoring gives better results than just investing and forgetting.

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A Certified Financial Planner can help you review and restructure if needed.

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Continue tracking performance every 6 months to stay on track.

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Your Monthly SIPs and Allocation Pattern

You are running a Rs. 30,000 SIP each month.

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40% of it is in small cap funds.

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20% is in gold mutual fund.

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The rest 40% seems to be in large/multi-cap or other diversified equity funds.

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Now let us analyse this composition:

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40% in small cap is quite aggressive.

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Small caps are very volatile. They can give high returns but also deep corrections.

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Keep small cap allocation below 25% in total equity SIPs.

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You can move some SIP amount to a balanced advantage fund.

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Balanced funds give stability when markets are down.

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20% in gold mutual fund is on the higher side.

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Gold is not a compounding asset like equity.

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Over long term, gold delivers lower return than equity.

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Use gold only for 5-10% of total portfolio. Not more.

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The rest 40% in equity is fine, but needs regular review.

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Maintain SIPs in regular plans through Certified Financial Planner.

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Direct funds give no handholding or guidance when markets fall.

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Regular plans help you stay committed and balanced.

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Rebalancing SIPs every 12–18 months improves returns and reduces risk.

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Your National Pension System (NPS) Contribution

You have Rs. 17 lakh corpus in NPS Auto Choice.

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You are adding Rs. 1.2 lakh per year to NPS.

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NPS Auto Choice invests automatically in equity, debt and govt securities.

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Your allocation will shift towards debt slowly as you age.

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This reduces risk after age 45.

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NPS is a good retirement asset due to long lock-in.

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But maturity proceeds are partly taxable and partly annuity.

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So don’t depend only on NPS for retirement.

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Use mutual funds also to build tax-efficient corpus.

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NPS is a supporting vehicle, not a full retirement solution.

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How Much Can All These Generate Till Retirement?

Let us assume you invest for 25 more years.

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You will add Rs. 30,000 monthly SIPs. That’s Rs. 3.6 lakh/year.

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You will also add Rs. 1.2 lakh/year to NPS.

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Your mutual fund lumpsum of Rs. 13 lakh continues to grow.

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Based on long-term equity CAGR of 11% to 12%, your corpus will grow strongly.

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In 25 years, your MF corpus alone can become several crores.

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Your NPS corpus can also cross Rs. 1 crore to Rs. 1.5 crore.

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Final retirement wealth can range between Rs. 3.5 crore to Rs. 5 crore or more.

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This depends on SIP discipline, fund choice, rebalancing and staying invested.

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Direct fund investors often lose returns due to fear and wrong decisions.

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Regular plan investors with Certified Financial Planner stay more consistent.

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That helps in wealth creation without panic or stopping SIPs.

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Improvement Areas in Your Current Strategy

Let us now talk about areas of improvement in your plan.

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Reduce gold fund SIP to 5% or 10%. Use rest in hybrid or flexi cap funds.

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Reduce small cap SIP exposure to 25% or less. Add large and balanced funds.

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Monitor ELSS performance. Don’t hold old ELSS just for tax benefit.

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Move older ELSS units to better performing funds after 3-year lock-in.

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Use a Certified Financial Planner for fund selection and annual review.

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Avoid investing through apps that show direct funds without guidance.

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Do not fall for lowest expense ratio trap.

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Many direct funds underperform due to no tracking or correction.

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Regular plans give you peace of mind and expert handholding.

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Start tracking goals – like retirement, home, child’s education.

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SIPs done without goals often get withdrawn during market dips.

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Emergency fund must be built separately. At least 6 months of expenses.

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Do not mix emergency savings and investments.

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Taxation Awareness You Must Keep in Mind

As your investments grow, tax rules will affect your returns.

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For equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh/year is taxed at 12.5%.

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STCG (less than 1 year) is taxed at 20%.

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For debt funds: gains are taxed as per your slab.

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NPS maturity is partly tax-free, partly annuity and taxable.

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Gold fund redemptions are taxed as per type of asset (debt-based).

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Plan your redemptions with tax calendar in mind.

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Avoid frequent switches. It reduces compounding and increases tax.

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Rebalance with minimal taxation in mind.

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Long-Term Stability Recommendations

You are already doing great.

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But to ensure success for next 25 years, follow these:

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Stick to SIP discipline no matter what market says.

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Review SIPs every year with Certified Financial Planner.

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Don’t change funds just because of short-term performance.

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Add hybrid and flexi-cap funds to reduce ups and downs.

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Avoid investing heavily in gold for long term.

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Shift risky allocation slowly to stable funds as you near 45.

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Use NPS only as a support system for retirement.

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Track your wealth growth every year without panic.

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Focus on goals and time horizon, not only on returns.

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Build Rs. 3 crore to Rs. 5 crore corpus slowly with consistent habits.

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Compounding rewards patience. Not shortcuts.

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Finally

You are already ahead of most investors of your age. Very disciplined.

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But success is not about starting alone. Staying the course is more important.

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Avoid gold fund overuse. Reduce small cap exposure slightly.

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Add stability via hybrid and balanced equity funds.

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Don’t switch to direct plans. They seem cheaper but may cost more emotionally.

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Investing through regular plans with Certified Financial Planner is safer.

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Continue current path with corrections. Retirement will be stress-free.

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Stay consistent. Review yearly. You will reach your wealth goals peacefully.

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Best Regards,
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K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
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Chief Financial Planner,
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www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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