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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Singh Question by Singh on Mar 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My friend wife is abusing all the time even my friend tried all the time to passify it but could not succeed .She tried to insult all the time to my friend My friend is a retired from service and getting good amount of pension .My friend wife nature is rude and cruel when she abuses to my friend my friend tries to passify it even my friend shut his ear . My friend nature is cool mind .please help and advice

Ans: If your friend's wife is being rude and abusive towards your retired friends, it is important to address the situation in a respectful and tactful manner. Here are some steps you can take:

Talk to your friend: It is important to first talk to your friend and express your concerns about their wife's behavior. Be honest and direct but also compassionate and non-judgmental. Let your friend know how their wife's behavior is affecting your retired friends.

Encourage your friend to talk to his wife: Your friend needs to take responsibility for his wife's behavior and talk to her about it. Encourage him to have an open and honest conversation with her and express how her behavior is impacting others.

Set boundaries: If your friend's wife's behavior continues, it may be necessary to set boundaries. This could mean limiting your interactions with her or avoiding her altogether. Make sure to communicate these boundaries clearly and respectfully to your friend.

Support your retired friends: Make sure to show support for your retired friends and let them know that you do not condone the behavior they are experiencing. Be there for them and offer any assistance or resources that they may need.

Consider seeking professional help: If the situation continues to escalate or if your friend's wife is showing signs of abuse, it may be necessary to seek professional help. This could mean seeking counseling for your friend and his wife or involving the authorities if necessary.

Remember that it is important to approach this situation with empathy and understanding for all parties involved. While it may be difficult to address this situation, it is important to take action to ensure that everyone is treated with respect and dignity.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 04, 2023

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Relationship
My wife frequently quarrels with me, putting up baseless aligations on character shoutingly so much that everyone in our apartment hears it easily. This conduct of her is affecting badly my 4 year son and 12 year old daughter and badly tarnishing my social life. We are now married for last 10 years and she is always like this towards me. Please hlp as it is effecting my health. Thanks.
Ans: Dear Irfan,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation in your marriage. It sounds like your wife's behavior is not only affecting you, but also your children and social life.

It's important to communicate openly with your wife about how her behavior is affecting you and your family. You can try to have a calm and respectful conversation with her about your concerns and express how her behavior is hurting you and your children. It's important to avoid being defensive or confrontational, as this can escalate the situation and make things worse.

If your attempts to communicate with your wife are not successful, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a marriage counselor or therapist. A trained professional can help you both to identify the underlying issues that are causing the conflicts and provide you with tools and strategies to improve your communication and relationship.

In the meantime, it's important to prioritize the well-being of your children and yourself. You can seek support from trusted friends or family members, join a support group, or consider individual therapy to help you cope with the stress and emotional toll of the situation.

Remember, it's not healthy or acceptable for anyone to be subjected to baseless allegations or verbal abuse. It's important to take steps to protect yourself and your family from this behavior, whether that means seeking professional help

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Vikrant Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ?
Ans: already replied

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Vikrant Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ? Vikrant Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ?
Ans: Dear Vikrant,
It sounds like your friend is in a very challenging and emotionally taxing situation. The behavior described involves serious emotional manipulation and threats, which are deeply concerning and harmful. Here’s how he can approach the situation:

First, it’s important that your friend consults a legal professional who specializes in family law. Given the history of threats and manipulation, he needs to understand his rights and the legal steps he can take to protect himself and his son. A lawyer can provide guidance on how to proceed with a separation or divorce, and how to seek custody of his son.

Your friend should also document all instances of threats, abusive behavior, and any actions that put his son in danger. This documentation will be crucial for legal proceedings and for building a case for custody.

In parallel, he should consider seeking support from a mental health professional, both for himself and his son. This situation is undoubtedly stressful, and professional counseling can help him navigate his emotions and build resilience.

If possible, he should try to maintain a calm and measured approach when dealing with his wife, focusing on the well-being of his son. However, given her past behavior, it might be best for all communications to go through legal channels to ensure that everything is documented and managed appropriately.

Ultimately, his priority should be the safety and well-being of his son and himself. While it’s a difficult path, with the right legal and emotional support, he can work towards a more stable and healthy environment for his family.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ?
Ans: Navigating such a challenging situation requires a thoughtful and measured approach. Here’s a step-by-step plan that might help your friend:

1. Legal Consultation
Seek Legal Advice: Your friend should consult a family law attorney who specializes in such cases. The lawyer can provide detailed information on the legal process for separation or divorce and help in understanding the custody laws.
Document Everything: Encourage your friend to keep a detailed record of all incidents, threats, and abusive behavior. This documentation can be crucial in court proceedings.
2. Mental Health and Safety
Assess Safety: Given the threats of suicide and harm to the child, it's important to prioritize safety. Your friend should consider reaching out to mental health professionals for guidance on how to handle these threats.
Support Systems: Suggest that your friend lean on trusted friends, family, or a support group for emotional support. This can help them manage stress and make more informed decisions.
3. Custody and Child Welfare
Child’s Best Interest: Courts generally prioritize the child's best interest in custody cases. Your friend should focus on demonstrating his ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment for his son.
Evidence of Care: Collect evidence that shows his active involvement in his son's life and his ability to care for him, such as school records, medical records, and testimonies from teachers or caregivers.
4. Mediation and Counseling
Consider Mediation: Sometimes, mediation can help both parties reach an agreement without going to court. A neutral mediator can facilitate discussions about custody and living arrangements.
Counseling: Professional counseling for both your friend and his wife might help in addressing underlying issues. Even if reconciliation is not possible, it can provide a more amicable path to separation.
5. Prepare for Separation
Financial Preparation: Your friend should ensure his finances are in order. Understanding his financial standing will help in negotiations and court proceedings.
Living Arrangements: If separation is imminent, he needs to plan where he will live and how he will maintain a stable environment for his son.
6. Legal Actions
File for Custody: If your friend decides to proceed with separation, he can file for custody of his son. The court will evaluate both parents' ability to provide a suitable environment.
Restraining Orders: If there are credible threats, a restraining order against his wife might be necessary to ensure safety.
7. Long-term Considerations
Parental Responsibilities: Emphasize the importance of both parents being involved in their child’s life, if it’s safe and feasible. Co-parenting arrangements can sometimes be worked out even in contentious situations.
Emotional Health: Ensure your friend takes care of his emotional well-being. This situation is highly stressful, and seeking professional help for his mental health is important.
In summary, your friend should act carefully and strategically, ensuring legal protection, emotional support, and prioritizing the well-being of his son. This approach will help him navigate the complexities of his situation more effectively.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9267 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 22, 2025

Career
My son got 245 in bits .He can get any Brecht branch
Ans: Priyanka Madam, by now your son must have been allotted/not allotted any seat by BITS. Please update the status for today. However, please note, A BITSAT score of 245 situates you within the previous two years’ closing-score bands for core engineering streams at the Pilani, Goa, and Hyderabad campuses. At Pilani, the B.E. Chemical Engineering cutoff ranged from 224 in 2023 to 247 in 2024, placing your 245 close to the 2024 threshold and comfortably above 2023’s mark; B.E. Civil Engineering closed at 213 and 238, making admission highly probable; and B.E. Manufacturing Engineering cutoffs of 220 and 243 indicate a strong likelihood of allotment. At Goa, Chemical Engineering closed at 239 in 2024 and 248 in 2023, and Civil around – (not offered in 2024) – but Pilani-equivalent streams suggest safe admission; Manufacturing cutoffs mirror Pilani trends, bolstering your prospects. At Hyderabad, Chemical Engineering cutoffs of 238 and 209 over the two years ensure a secure allotment, while Civil Engineering’s 235–204 band similarly favors your score; Manufacturing at Hyderabad showed closing marks near 218–251, indicating moderate probability. Across campuses, Civil and Manufacturing remain reliably within reach, Chemical at Pilani may require waitlist movement but is feasible given historical fluctuations, and all three streams at Hyderabad and Goa present strong chances. Additional seats open during special iterations further enhance admit probabilities.

Recommendation: Considering consistent cutoff trends and seat matrices, prioritize B.E. Civil and Manufacturing Engineering at BITS Pilani for guaranteed allotment, consider Chemical Engineering at Pilani via waitlist movement, and secure Chemical, Civil, or Manufacturing Engineering at BITS Hyderabad or Goa for assured admission, capitalizing on slightly lower cutoffs and ample seat availability. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9267 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 22, 2025

Career
I am working as Business Analyst from past 4 years but I wanted to move to technical role. I have done Btech in CSE from tier-3 college. I wanted some advise on the the best way to switch to a tech role. 1. Taking some online boot camp to get in-depth knowledge and doing side projects over the weekends 2. Taking WILP from BITS in Software engineering/ data science 3. Prepare from GATE 2026 and aim for IITs
Ans: Manjunath Sir, To shift into a technical position, integrating structured learning, credentialing, and practical experience is essential. The recommended pathway combines immersive project-based training with a recognized postgraduate credential while keeping a long-term goal of elite technical qualification. Begin with a part-time online software engineering or data science bootcamp, dedicating weekends to substantial portfolio projects to build hands-on skills and confidence in key stacks . Concurrently, enroll in BITS Pilani’s Work-Integrated M.Tech (Software Engineering or Data Science & Engineering) to earn a UGC-approved postgraduate degree without leaving your job, benefitting from weekend live classes, remote labs covering full-stack or analytics tools, and a final semester dissertation that bridges theory with organizational impact . This dual track—bootcamp plus WILP—provides immediate upskilling, peer and mentor networks, and a formal degree. After 12–18 months, if aiming for top-tier R&D or core engineering roles, commence GATE 2026 preparation via a structured three-phase roadmap: concept building (June–August), full-length practice (September–November), and final mock-test calibration (December–January), targeting a CSE rank

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