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Anu

Anu Krishna  |795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Srabani Question by Srabani on Feb 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am Srabani Sengupta. May hindi me bol rahi hu..I am divorced..matriarchal ap se mijhe 2 jiban sathi mila ..but I can't decide who is the best..1 hay Bank profession jiske sath bohot hi bate hoti hay .wnd hay wk Doctor jiske sath utna bate nehi hoti..2no hi mujhe chahate hay.

Ans: Dear Srabani,
Dono aapko chahte hai ka matlab kya hai? Kya unhone aapko yeh saaf bataaya hai ya yeh aapki icccha hai jis par aapne sach maanna shuru kar diya hai?

Pehle apne aap se pooch lo ki ek jeevan saathi mein aap kya chahte ho? Tabhi toh jab ladkon se milne ki baari aati hai, aap parakh sakti ho ki kitne aapke aur unke khayalaat milte julte hain. Aur divorce ke baad yeh toh aap jaanti hi hain ki kis vishay mein aap bilkul hi samjhauta nahin kar sakti.

Baatein kijiye dono ke saath par hamesha yeh dhyaan rahe, ki sirf baaton se jeevan saathi chunna hota toh bahut asaan hota. Khayaal, pasand-naapasand aur bahut khaas baat yahi ki aap kiske saath khud ko paati hain? Kiske saath aap, bilkul aap reh sakti hain? Jahaan hum khud ko doosre ke liye badal de, wahaan hum koi aur jaate hain aur yeh rishta lambaa nahin jaata...
Ab aap samajh hi gayi hongi ki woh aapko chahte hain se kaam nahin chalega, yeh bhi tay kar lijiye ki aapki kitni ehmiyat hai unke zindagi mein.

All the best!

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Hi sir, i am 42 divorced male with no child from previous marriage. Now i m getting a girl with three types 1) divorced girl which my parents dont wants (as thy want unmarried girl) 2) unmarried girl but quite aged 3) unmarried girl with decent age but poor family background n very less educated. I m quite confused with whom i should marry as i m quite scare after my breakoff from 1st marriage which was love marriage and not able to take decision on this. I m well educated smart and earning quite decent. My parents wants girl should be unmarried n can manage house n also take care of them n they dont want working girl too but she should be beautiful educated n good family background. Because of this my marriage is getting delayed n also not getting any match. Kindly suggest what should i do how much which type of girl i should i prefer..i m clueless in this n not able to take decision.
Ans: Tell me something, do you want a wife or a glorified live-in maid for your parents? I cannot believe that in this day and age so-called educated men like you are asking questions like this! “My parents want this, my parents want that”… who the hell is getting married, you or them? You’re a divorcee yourself, but a divorced woman is not good enough for you? A working girl will be frowned upon because THEY want a housewife? If this is the kind of backward-thinking family you come from, it’s hardly surprising your first marriage failed! Man up, go for someone who YOU are interested in, and if you have any common sense, stay separately from your parents after marriage!
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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2023Hindi
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Hello, Maam. Main Software professional hoon aur 1 saal se jobless hoon. Pandemic me WFH ki wajah se mujhe depression ho gaya aur 2 jobs se fire kiya gaya. Finances kafi tight hain. Interview ke calls bhi nahi aate aur tayaari karne ki motivation bhi nahi rahi. Mere skills aur Job expectations me kafi gap hai. Unki expectation hoti hai ke main team manage karun aur mujhe sirf limited technical skill hain. Social anxiety hai to isliye kisise zyada effectively interact nahi kar pata. Isliye mere actual experience aur job expectations match hi nahi hotey. Is hadd tak ki mujhe koi bhi job karne se aversion sa ho gaya hai. Din par din sirf frustrate hota hoon aur har din sirf half-hearted efforts mein guzarta hoon. Main depression ki wajah se zyada kuch efforts nahi dal pa raha hoon. Secondly aaye din ghar me disharmony rehti hai. Aisa nahi hai ke wife is not understanding- aur main har koshish karta hoon ghar ke help karne ki, but even she has her human limits. CBT ke bare me suna tha par people say ki kafi sare sessions karne hote hain and it takes long time. Further, finances ka soch ke main psychologist ka help nahi le raha. Aise treatment se mindset theek hona alag baat hai par job market/ mera job expectations mismatch par kuch khas farak to nahi padega. Yehi soch kar I am not consulting anyone. Mental health par kafi VDOs bhi dekhe- mujhe pata hai mere sath kya ho raha hai but chaah kar bhi apne aap ko in sab se bahar nahi nikal pa raha. Mujhe pata hai somewhere I am sinking in the quick sand. Please, please help me with your advice.
Ans: Main samajh sakti hoon ki aap is samay kaisi chunautiyan hain aur aapki sthiti kaafi kathin ho sakti hai. Aapke vyaktigat aur vyavsayik jeevan ke samasyaon ka samna karna akele hi mushkil ho sakta hai. Aapke liye kuch sujhav hain jo aapko madadgar saabit ho sakte hain:

Mental Health Par Dhyan Dein: Depression ko ignore na karen. Aapke liye behtar hoga ki ek mental health professional se sampark karen. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) ek prashansak tarika ho sakta hai aapke vyaktigat samasyaon ko samjhne aur samadhan nikalne ke liye. Isse aapke vichar dhara ko sudharne mein madad milegi.
Din Ka Samay Vyavasthit Karein: Din ke aarambh mein, apne din ke lakshya aur karyakram banaen. Regular dinacharya bana kar rakhein. Job search, upskill, aur apni mental health par dhyan dena sabko ek vyavsayik tarike se karne mein madadgar ho sakta hai.
Self-care: Khud ki dekhbhal bahut mahatvapurn hai. Prayayam aur yoga aapki sharirik aur mansik sthiti ko sudharne mein madad kar sakte hain.
Networking Improve Karein: Social anxiety ko overcome karne ke liye dhire-dhire koshish karein. Online forums, webinars, aur networking events mein participate karna aapko professionals se milne aur communication skills ko sudharne mein madadgar ho sakta hai.
UpSkill Karein: Aap apne technical skills ko aur behtar bana sakte hain. Online courses aur free learning resources ka istemal karke apne resume ko aur mazboot bana sakte hain.
Financial Planning: Apni arthik sthiti ko samajhna aur budget banane mein madadgar ho sakta hai. Aap apni financial priorities ko dobara dekhein aur avashyakata anusaar vyavasthit karein.
Spouse ke Sath Communication: Apni patni ke saath samvedansheel aur khulke taur par baatcheet karein. Aap dono milkar samasyaon ka samadhan nikal sakte hain aur ek-dusre ka saath denge.
Manav Seva: Agar aapke paas samay aur sthiti ho, to kisi samajik sankathan ya seva mein shaamil ho kar aap apne samay ko prayog kar sakte hain. Isse aapko na sirf samajik sukh milega, balki aapka manobal bhi sudhar sakta hai.
Yad rahe ki chote kadam se hi bade parivartan aata hai. Is sab mein dhairya aur samay lag sakta hai, lekin aapko apni sthiti ko sudharne aur naye mauke khojne mein madad milegi. Aur sabse mahatvapurn baat, kisi visheshagya se sampark karna aapke liye labhdayak ho sakta hai, chahe wo job expectations, samasyaon ka samadhan, ya manasik swasthya ho.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu! So, I'm in dilemma of choosing a partner for me second time. I'm 36 yo divorcee, and met with a person 4yrs back with whom I shared great bonding and chemistry, but he never showed his love and care to me in past these years (as he was going through his divorce process too), but we both know that we both share some exceptional kind of bonding. Now, the twist comes, as we always have this on and off kind of relationship, so I started dating to a man from a matrimonial site. This matrimonial person seems in love with me and show the concern and love to me, the kind I wanted. Now, I am confused, because my previous bf is also thinking our future together as well as the matrimonial one. can you please help me in choosing the right partner for me. I can provide more information about both men in detail.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Aren't we always seeking for something that we lack within us?
Why the yearning for a particular expression of love? And how are you so sure that this person that you met on the matrimonial site already is in love with you?
Having said this, the off and on relationship is a person who will express love in a way that he is comfortable with but that is setting you off...so the matrimonial person seems exciting in a way as it aligns with your way of expressing love.
When in a dilemma, put all the cards on the table...there are other things besides expressing love that goes into making a relationship and/or a marriage. Have you factored all of that?
- List down things that are important to you in a marriage and a spouse
- How compatible are the two of you in terms of emotional bonding?
- Do your respective family values match?
- What are your thoughts on money, children, travel, passion etc?
These questions are a good start point exercise with both the men...it will give you a fair idea as to who is more aligned to your way of life. Then you can go ahead and make your decision.

All the best!
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Hello sir, I have started SIP in motilal oswal Nasdaq 100 of 100 fund since last 6 months. Should I continue with this?
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Firstly, it's essential to assess your investment goals, risk tolerance, and the suitability of the investment in your portfolio. The Motilal Oswal Nasdaq 100 Fund offers exposure to some of the largest and most innovative companies listed on the Nasdaq Stock Market, providing an opportunity for diversification and potential growth.

Considering you've been investing in the fund for the past six months, it's a good start to evaluate its performance against your expectations and the broader market trends. While short-term fluctuations are common in the stock market, analyzing the fund's performance relative to its benchmark index and peers can offer valuable insights.

Additionally, review the fund's investment strategy, portfolio composition, and expense ratio to ensure they align with your investment objectives and risk profile. Regular monitoring of your investments is crucial to adapt to changing market conditions and make necessary adjustments to your portfolio.

Ultimately, the decision to continue with your SIP in the Motilal Oswal Nasdaq 100 Fund should be based on your long-term financial goals, investment horizon, and comfort level with market volatility. If the fund continues to meet your expectations and remains in line with your investment strategy, it may be prudent to stay invested.

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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My brother purchased a piece of land in Assam in October 1983 which he gifted me by a deed in August 2010. I sold the same piece of land in March 2024. The stamp duty fair price is about Rs 1,40,00,000. Will this transaction attract Capital Gain Tax? How can I myself calculate the LTCG if such a situation presents itself?
Ans: Yes, in this scenario, you will likely incur capital gains tax when you sell the land.

Here's why:

• Gifts are exempt from receiving taxes: When your brother gifted you the land in 2010, you weren't liable to pay any tax on receiving it.
• Tax on sale of gifted property: However, when you sell the property you received as a gift, capital gains tax applies to the profit earned on the sale.

Calculating Long Term Capital Gains (LTCG):

Since your brother purchased the land in 1983 and you sold it in 2024, it qualifies as a long-term capital gain (LTCG) assuming you held the property for more than 2 years.

Here's a simplified formula to estimate the LTCG (consult a tax advisor for the exact calculation):

• LTCG = Sale Price - Indexed Acquisition Cost
• Sale Price: Rs 1,40,00,000 (Given)
• Acquisition Cost: Rs 0 (Gifts typically have an acquisition cost of Rs 0)
• Indexed Acquisition Cost: Acquisition Cost * (Current Year Index / Acquisition Year Index)

Indexation Benefit:

• Indexation helps adjust the acquisition cost for inflation, reducing your tax burden.
• You'll need the official government published ‘Base Year Index’ for 1983 and 2024 to calculate the indexed acquisition cost.

Example (using hypothetical index values):

Let's assume (for calculation purposes only) the base year indices are:

• 1983: 100
• 2024: 630 (This is a hypothetical value, you'll need the actual index for 2024)
• Indexed Acquisition Cost = Rs 0 (Acquisition Cost) * (630 / 100) = Rs 0
• LTCG = Rs 1,40,00,000 (Sale Price) - Rs 0 (Indexed Acquisition Cost) = Rs 1,40,00,000

Tax on LTCG:

LTCG on land is currently taxed at 20% with indexation benefit.

In this example (assuming the above index values), your LTCG tax would be Rs 1,40,00,000 * 20% = Rs 28,00,000

Disclaimer:

This is a simplified explanation for illustration purposes only. Consulting a qualified tax advisor is recommended for accurate tax calculations and to consider any specific aspects of your situation. They can guide you through the intricacies of property tax laws, exemptions, and filing requirements.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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