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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 04, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2023Hindi
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Hello Doctor, my 19 year old son is suffering from extreme mental health issues. *. He is not interested in studies, says he cannot concentrate at all. *. He is always sleeping. *.Don't want to attain college classes but need attendance to avoid debarred list. *. Just want to go to college for modelling in college fashion shows & college fests. *. Want to spend life like an page 3 celebrity. *. Don't want to write exams but still worried that he cannot clear his graduation. *. Not at all respectful to his Mom. *. Always worried to enhance his looks. *. Needs expensive new clothes & beauty products. *. Doesn't understand value of money at all. *. Has nothing in his mind about his future. *. Cries very easily. *. Thinks he cannot do anything. *. 0% household help or support from his side. *. Always confused, nothing remembers. *. Doesn't like visiting our native place & talking to relatives. There are still to many issues. I don't understand what I should do? Please help.

Ans: Pre-frontal cortex is part of the brain which helps us make responsible decision making. It gets fully developed by 25 years of age. Yours is developed and functioning and your boy's is in the process. Have faith, you have brought him up and he will mirror your actions, your words, the tone of voice soon. Adolescence stage a teen is looking to showcase his self-esteem and identity. Dressing up, looking a certain way is part of the routine and they love adventure. My suggestions: 1. Listen and then respond. Talk of things he does at college, ask him his dreams, help him set one goal at a time and help him to achieve them if he needs help. 2. Make visiting the native place an adventure: let him plan the journey, the time, the food to carry the presents to give everyone there. Even cajole him that he would be able to make some reels there and share with all. 3. Ask for help: be a human who has emotional needs, gets tired, needs help to finish house work. Your child would be seeing you as an established adult, who manages everything, and then imagine you are asking for help from him to do things at home. 4. Career counselling and meeting people from different professions will clear his mind to choose what he loves. 5. Attending college: Ask him about his favourite subjects, what he finds easy and difficult. Peer support and sitting with friends to revise helps to attend college. do encourage that.
Show your boy you love him but also demand from your son that he is responsible for his world. He is an adult in the eyes of law and his actions has a consequences. Money matters can be solved by giving him a fixed amount to run his week. There is a balance between discipline and respect, treat him like a young adult and not a child. You are a good parent, be kind to yourself and meet your friends too. Do revert with the progress!
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2023Hindi
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Hello madam, my 19 year old son is suffering from extreme mental health issues. *. He is not interested in studies, says he cannot concentrate at all. *. He is always sleeping. *.Don't want to attain college classes but need attendance to avoid debarred list. *. Just want to go to college for modelling in college fashion shows & college fests. *. Want to spend life like an page 3 celebrity. *. Don't want to write exams but still worried that he cannot clear his graduation. *. Not at all respectful to his Mom. *. Always worried to enhance his looks. *. Needs expensive new clothes & beauty products. *. Doesn't understand value of money at all. *. Has nothing in his mind about his future. *. Cries very easily. *. Thinks he cannot do anything. *. 0% household help or support from his side. *. Always confused, nothing remembers. *. Doesn't like visiting our native place & talking to relatives. There are still to many issues. I don't understand what I should do? Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
He seems to want to live in a place of alternate reality where the real life is wilfully blurred and a fantasy world plays out easily. This happens when the real world facts disturb him and stress him and escaping into that alternate reality feels reassuring and calming.
This can be addressed by setting up an appointment with a Clinical Psychologist who is skilled to work with teenagers. She/he will use various techniques to ease your son into the real world. Kindly act NOW. In the meantime, surround him with a lot of love and affection.
All the best!
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2023Hindi
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Dear Doc., My Son falls under handicapped category. he is good in studies and intelligent. Has a postgraduate degree. because of his problem, he likes to stay aloof and stay at home, may be because of his hearing and speech problem. doesn't like to go out and any one visiting us. He is not using his intelligence in concrete work/ manner. Any kind of screen is his best time pass and remains irritated and angry. how to counsel him is our problem, because the moment we try to discuss about his progress, going to job etc. he disengages himself and goes away. please advise.
Ans: It sounds like your son may be struggling with some social and emotional challenges related to his hearing and speech problem, and it's understandable that this could impact his ability to communicate and socialize with others. As a psychologist, I would recommend the following suggestions to help counsel your son:

Validate his feelings: Let your son know that you understand that it can be difficult for him to navigate social situations with his hearing and speech challenges. Validate his feelings and reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way.

Encourage social interaction: While your son may be comfortable at home, it's important to encourage him to interact with others outside of the home as well. This could be through community events, volunteering, or joining social groups for individuals with similar challenges. Gradually exposing him to new situations can help him build confidence and develop new skills.

Focus on strengths and interests: Encourage your son to pursue his interests and strengths, whether it's in academics, music, or any other area. This can help him develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Explore therapy options: Counseling or therapy can be an effective way for your son to work through his challenges and develop coping strategies. Consider exploring therapy options, such as speech therapy, social skills training, or cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can be tailored to meet his specific needs.

Use positive reinforcement: When your son makes progress, offer positive reinforcement and encouragement. Celebrate his accomplishments, even if they are small, to help build his confidence and motivation.

Remember, counseling and support is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Be sure to approach your son with empathy and understanding, and work together to develop a plan that supports his well-being and personal growth.
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Hi Sushil. My daughter is planning to do MS from US. She has got acceptance from two universities and waiting from one more. Meanwhile, I have approached bank for loan. Their list of documents require I20, whereas for I20 I have to show finance. How to solve this? Secondly, the fee estimate of University shows only for one year ( spring and fall), How can I show the requirement for two years to Bank? No.3: Whether cash in account to be shown while applying for VISA or bank loan also will do? Sorry I have asked lot of questions.
Ans: Hello R. It is great that your daughter has been accepted by a couple of universities in the US. To answer your question first, generally, banks do ask for I-20 to process the loan application; however, a few banks or NBFCs, e.g., HDFC Credila, could issue a loan sanction letter on the basis of the offer letter issued. You could use this sanction letter to call for the I20, provided the university is accepting the letter, or show the required funds in your savings account, provide a bank certificate, and then call for the I20.Expenses to be shown in the bank certificate or savings account to call for the I20 are for a year, which includes the total of tuition, food, accommodation, and miscellaneous [if any]. I20 will show expenses for 9 or 12 months; however, it will also clearly mention the start and end dates of the course, which would help the bank know the total duration of the course and accordingly sanction the loan amount will be sanctioned. Yes, both the savings account and the education loan letter could be used during the visa interview.

For further assistance, you can get in touch with us
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Workplace Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2024Hindi
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I was doing Business for past 23 years and have been succesful in that.. After COVID my business fell apart and I am trying to regain the foothold. Although I have created a good brand, I am not able to make the Money I was making earlier. However the buisness is picking up and I knew If I could have little more patience, I will make it. However the situation demands lot of financial requirements for my lifestyle and family. They are insisiting me to go for a Job now. My business is stagnent for past few years and it is slowly showing the signs of growth now.. I do not want any waiting time due to pressing needs. I am 49 Now.. I am not sure if applying for work at this age will help as I have no idea on the Job market.. I am getting very good offers on selling my Business. Kindly advice.
Ans: Dear

There are two parts.

Emotional...how you feel attached to your business.

Rational: your financial needs and the revenue that your business is generating.

Any advise us a function of both the above aspects. Unless one knows the current revenue numbers, growth potential of the business, competition and several such factors it's not possible to share any guidance.

Hence may I suggest you talk to your CA and other colleagues of yours, look at the numbers in hard way and then take a call.

Emotional aspect can be both strength and liability... strength because it will inspire you to make business grow... liability because you may be overtly attached to your business without looking at the financial realities.

All the best.
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Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 28, 2024Hindi
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Sir im 36 yrs of age weighing 107 kgs and I regularly walk which helps in maintaining my weight but im unable to reduce belly fats. I walk approx 4 kms daily within 30 minutes .
Ans: Thank you for your inquiry. I appreciate your dedication to maintaining a consistent walking routine for weight management. However, if you're specifically aiming to reduce belly fat, it might be beneficial to incorporate additional methods into your regimen.

While walking is great for overall health and weight control, integrating strength training exercises can be instrumental in building muscle mass and boosting metabolism, thereby facilitating greater fat loss, including targeting belly fat. Incorporate exercises such as squats, lunges, push-ups, and abdominal workouts like crunches or planks.

To enhance the effectiveness of your walking routine, consider adding intervals of higher intensity. This might entail alternating between periods of brisk walking and intervals of more vigorous effort, such as walking uphill or increasing your pace to a jog for brief durations. This approach can elevate calorie expenditure and promote fat burning.

In terms of nutrition, it's crucial to pay close attention to your dietary habits, as they significantly impact fat loss. Prioritize a well-rounded diet rich in whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains, while minimizing intake of processed foods, sugary beverages, and excessive calories, which can contribute to belly fat accumulation. Additionally, consider reducing carbohydrate intake and increasing protein consumption in consultation with a registered dietitian for personalized guidance.

Overall, by incorporating these strategies alongside your walking routine, you can optimize your efforts towards reducing belly fat and improving overall health.
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