Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Guru Question by Guru on Apr 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

After working in USA for 8!yrs,purchased villa,car there,greencard cleared 2nd stage,I came to India in 2008 to get married and go back to USA. I was working in trivandrum as a IT professional and company which had partnership with company in USA, gave me time to get married and afterwards had plans to send me to USA , transfer to my parent company and process my greencard for 3rd stage. Through a marriage broker from my native place davanagere, I was married to a woman from gulbarga.her health was not good from day one and her parents going thru divorce. Her father instead of giving divorce to her mother,locked her in a compound in gulbarga with dogs and did not allow her to go out of compound for years and she passed away in 2013.even though a daughter born to my wife,me, daughter has heart surgery in 2011 and doctors suggested a surgery for wife. After wife's mother passed away in 2013,her father kidnapped my daughter,wife and did not allow them to come back and also had a ex parte divorce filed from my wife. I have been receiving news that my daughter was attacked in gulbarga compound in 2020 and passed away.but it could not be confirmed. My 35+ visits to gulbarga did not yield a visitation to my daughter. My lawyers in Bangalore, gulbarga suggested me to find a new woman and get married since 2020. Even though while I worked in Honeywell since 2016, I found a good woman, relationship could not be pursued. However since 06/2018,I am free to pursue a woman and get into relationship/marriage. I am staying alone since 6+ yrs in Bangalore,I have no wife/girlfriend living with me. I also do not have any kids living with me. It will take some time to find a woman and get married (my father,uncle passed away in last 3 yrs and my mother is in late 70s and no one helping me to get married). 2 weeks back I was invited to attend a jewellery shop inauguration at Kadapa AP which was attended by Telugu actress Sreeleela. She also performed a dance which I am very impressed. I saw her several videos and daily watch her many songs.She is in the right age, very rich and if she gets into relationship with me,it will solve all my problems and I will also support her in her career ie acting plus doctors job and it will be a win-win scenario. I do not have her direct contact info nor there is a coordinator who will coordinate between us.pleqse advise further on how to proceed further

Ans: Dear Guru,
I am truly sorry to hear of the hardships that you have faced.
Instead of living in a dream world, why not instead focus on going the usual route of finding someone who is like-minded and shares the same value systems as you?
And what is this statement that if you marry this actress, all your problems will be solved? Does she want to solve your problems or do you think she is waiting to marry you and solve your problems? Please step out of this dream world, get real!

I suggest that you rebuild your life sensibly and eventually if the right person also is interested in you (if she's a celebrity, then Congratulations), then move on with life by chalking out the path realistically. The person you look for must also align with your life's goals and your values...focus on this...

And sorry if this is going to sound rude to you: This platform is not for people to request Gurus to find out numbers of celebrities or their managers BUT for people to reach out to Gurus who can guide them with their life's challenges.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 44 years old man and I have unsuccessful married life as my wife didn't like be in the relationship with me within 7 months of our marriage. We married in the year 2013 and she annulled me in the year 2014. She is hyper sentimental and egoistic. She only loves money and her parents. We had exchanged some words (just like it happens in every married life). I tried to make her understand that if she don't get a job I will support her so that she can get a job. But she didn't pay attention to my request. She filed Mat suite for divorce with false allegations and I have filed a restitution of conjugal right case . She lost her divorce case and I won the RCR case. But despite magistrate order and my request she didn't turn up and filed 498A, DV Act and 125 CrPC tagging most my relatives with false evidences two years back. I fought all cases and during this time I lost my father. However again she lost DV case and Supreme Court ordered lower court to discharge everyone if they do not found us guilty as we have sufficient proof. Her lawyer started taking tricks by requesting for short span for each hearing date. As my mother's health is not well and I leave in South India, it was difficult for me to attend every hearing date. So, I decided to give up and signed the divorce petition on mutual consent. I tried my best to bring her back, but I failed. Everyone is asking to start the life in new way, but I am really shocked and in trauma of the mental torture and harassment. I am thinking that is it good start the life again in this age ? Will the new life partner take similar steps to harass me again ? Please advice.
Ans: Dear Sanju,
I can only imagine the unrest that you must be feeling right now.
Regarding your question on mental torture and harassment; I do understand how unnerving it must be for you to wake up every morning and stare at the harsh reality of what it is for you. Nevertheless, beaten down but not yet given up is something you must always remember.
It is natural to think that history repeats itself; but you cannot assume that the next person you meet will be the same. Do not enter into a relationship or marriage with this assumption; what might tend to happen is that you will hold yourself back and your partner will always feel that you are being distant from them.

Do understand that the context of marriage is the same, but the persons in question are different. It's like saying: I failed in Math, so Math is a bad subject and I will always fail! Get a hang of what I am referring to?

Take some time off to heal and be at peace and remind yourself that you deserve happiness and marriage form of a beautiful relationship that can make you happy. For now, tell 'everyone' who is asking you to start a new life to give you space to reflect on:
- What can I do different in the next relationship that I pursue?
- What more can I do for my partner that I didn't in the previous marriage?
- What are a few core values of mine that I want to see in my partner as well?

And no use starting a new life by thinking if your new life partner will harass you as well. Instead step in telling yourself: New relationship, new person, new thoughts, new life goals, new...The word NEW, should give your brain something NEW to chew on discarding the old.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 09, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I have 28 + years of frustrated and abusive and absolutely unsatisfied marriage. It was arranged but involved bitterness from both sides. My father did my relationship because of temptation and so many false facts from the in -laws' side. I was not interested but due to family compulsions I couldn't resist. Somehow i feel sad that my father got trapped due to greed and always feel bad about him, my mother was illiterate and did not have much opinion on anything. It was full of falsehood and cheating. I am very simple and minimalist persons, just after marriage wife and inlaws started torturing me to breakaway from my parents, being alone son and with the help of sisters managed parents with lot of difficulties but thought time will heal. I was thinking of separation just after 6 months but somehow was in difficult shape, couldn't ask. Meanwhile Father in law died and i thought it's inhuman to give separation at this critical time and accepted my destiny, My wife was very clever and managed balanced relation till her brother and sister got settled and we decided to welcome kids and blessed with two sons but after all her responsibility over, she again showed same behavior rather more aggressive and color and i almost separated from parents. I am in Govt service and was threatened to file a false case, with all difficulties, managed with balancing, hiding something here and there. After the death of parents , things worsened and she is eying on all property of inheritance to be sold . I don't trust her at all , I want to give all to my sons and then quit. She always threatens , i want to be separated and live my old age peacefully alone without any property but all I want to give to my sons , not to her . Please suggest a way , I am afraid she can file a false domestic violence case or even to give me poison . I am very tense nowadays and my health is deteriorating.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Never live in fear because that can always be used by someone who is searching for an opportunity to meddle with your life.
Deal with this fear in two ways:
1. For fear of false case filing against you, kindly approach a lawyer who will guide you on how to protect your assets
2. For fear of the way your life is moving about in an unsettling manner, do work on it rather than fear it
- Separation or not, will have to be decided by you and your wife and make it as amicable as possible...
- If there are chances of reconciliation, do lay down some ground rules for both of you which includes deeper level of communication, deeper listening, trust building...

Most relationships sour over a period of time, because 'taking for granted' seeps in, there are unrealistic expectations for one another, children become an excuse for not spending enough time each other, family members somehow get into the equation which allows little room for the couple to understand one another...
the list goes on...
It simply means: Marriage is something that needs constant working on...it requires time, energy and effort...

All the best!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1374 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello,I am 72 years old ex psu mechanical engineer,married and have two sons,both married and elder one has two daughters ,younger one has one daughter,elder one is in USA married to vietnamy girl and younger is in India married to relatives girl. My job was without pension but self contributory megrere pension I get.i invested in shares and get some dividend so life can go as lower middle class. I own a small cultivable land in village from my residence,I own a plot in other places which has legal problems Now elder daughter in law wants her daughters to have vietnamy culture so my son made green card for us but I am not comfortable as I become dependent there and I have medical facility in India. Younger daughter in law is not adjustable but does not want to move away from our residence So life has become hell,wife stays in USA separately from son though he bears all expenses,I am in my residence but not healthy situation.younger one is not earning as his earning and out go far job is same and does not want understand Can suggest me way out
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your family situation. Here are some suggestions that may help:

Communication: Open and honest communication is essential in resolving family conflicts. Encourage all family members to express their feelings and concerns openly, and work together to find mutually acceptable solutions.

Family Counseling: Consider seeking the help of a family counselor or therapist who can facilitate discussions and provide guidance on how to improve communication and resolve conflicts effectively.

Support Networks: Lean on friends, relatives, or support groups who may offer guidance and understanding during difficult times. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others who have been through similar situations can provide valuable support.

Healthcare: Ensure you prioritize your health and well-being. Seek medical attention for any health issues you may be experiencing and maintain a healthy lifestyle through proper diet, exercise, and relaxation techniques.

Legal Advice: Consult with a legal advisor to address any legal issues related to property ownership or other matters. They can provide guidance on how to resolve legal disputes and protect your interests.

Personal Independence: Consider what options are best for your own happiness and well-being. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of relocating to the USA or becoming dependent on others, express your concerns to your family and explore alternative solutions that allow you to maintain your independence and quality of life.

Family Compromise: Encourage your family members to find compromises that consider the needs and desires of everyone involved. Work towards finding solutions that prioritize mutual respect, understanding, and harmony within the family.

Ultimately, finding a way out of difficult family situations requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together towards solutions that benefit everyone involved. Consider seeking professional help or guidance to navigate through these challenges effectively.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |452 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |452 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Dear Siir, My son is studying BMLT( Bachelor in Medical Laboratory Technology) of 31⁄2 years duration, (likely to be 4 years) and will complete his study in June'24. Then he will have to undergo mandatory internship in labs or hospitals where he is to be placed by the University. I would request you to show a suitable path to follow for him after the end of his present course. Should he go for further higher relevant study for future prospects or search for a job? He is now 26 years+(DOB- 07/10/1997). He attempted NEET after 12 in 2016 & every time he did qualify but couldn't bag up a general seat due to marks constraint. He did qualify in West Bengal JEE but showed no interest in Engineering career. He always likes to adhere to medical/ allied health service courses. I await your valuable expertise advice regarding my son.
Ans: Hello Sir,
below can be career avenues for your son.

Clinical Laboratory Technologist/Technician: This is the most common career path for MLT graduates. You could work in hospitals, clinics, diagnostic laboratories, or research facilities, performing tests on patient samples to assist physicians in diagnosing and treating diseases.

Research Assistant: MLT graduates can work as research assistants in laboratories, assisting scientists and researchers in conducting experiments, analyzing data, and contributing to scientific discoveries.
Quality Control Technician: You could work in pharmaceutical or biotechnology companies, ensuring that products meet quality standards by testing raw materials, intermediates, and finished products for purity, potency, and safety.

Infection Control Officer: With additional training or certification, you could work as an infection control officer, responsible for preventing and controlling infections in healthcare settings by monitoring and implementing protocols to ensure patient and staff safety.

Public Health Officer: MLT graduates can work in public health departments or government agencies, contributing to disease surveillance, outbreak investigations, and health promotion programs aimed at improving community health.

Healthcare Information Specialist: With additional training in health informatics or medical coding, you could work as a healthcare information specialist, managing and analyzing patient data to improve healthcare delivery and outcomes.

Education and Training: If you enjoy teaching, you could pursue a career as a teacher or instructor in MLT programs, training future laboratory professionals.


Specialized Laboratory Technologist: MLT graduates can choose to specialize in areas such as microbiology, hematology, immunology, or molecular diagnostics, focusing on a specific area of laboratory testing.
Phlebotomist: If you enjoy working directly with patients, you could become a phlebotomist, responsible for drawing blood samples for laboratory testing.


Healthcare Administration: With additional education or experience, you could pursue a career in healthcare administration, managing laboratory operations, budgets, and personnel.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x