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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My wife got posted in distant place 10 years back. I had to ask for help from my inlaws as our child was very young. They started to live with her. After 1 year she got transferred back to the place where I was living. She got a flat from the company and we started to live together. Since then my inlaws are also staying with us. They purchased another flat nearby but are not willing to move there. Now, the problem is that whenever me and my wife have a quarrel she just stops talking and starts to take decisions in consultation with my inlaws. I am completely out of the loop in these circumstances. Over the years my relationship with inlaws has gone sour and quarrels with wife have been lasting longer (upto 2 months). My inlaws are otherwise well behaved but their presence somehow is hindering the process of natural reconciliation between me and my spouse or I am perceiving the situation incorrectly. Please guide

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What you all have done is jumped impulsively into one situation, made it comfortable asking people to help and then jumped back into the original situation and not knowing how to ask the same people to stay away!
Your wife has to grow out of her parents being around and you have to understand that your in-laws have got used to stepping in while you were away.
It's about time that you and your wife had a mature conversation on how to manage your family yourselves and be responsible for raising your child. But do remember to deal with your in-laws carefully. After all, they gracefully kept their lives on hold to help your wife and your child. Without hurting their sentiments, you are going to have to convey to them that you are thankful for what they have done for you BUT now you would like to be there for your family. Initially, this will hurt them and your wife, but anymore of this game will pull you and wife away from one another. So, they do need to move out...
You are not cutting strings but simply loosening the grip it currently has which is unhealthy for your marriage. Hope that your wife also understands this which means she will put you to test and in her mind or vocally compare what you bring to the table and how her parents supported her. Bear with it and as the two of you work together in putting the family back together, she will eventually understand that this is for the best.

All the best!
Asked on - Apr 15, 2025 | Answered on Apr 16, 2025
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Hello ma'am! It has been long time since the last update. After the counselling session, I moved back to my wife's allotted quarter though I stayed in a separate room. I have been trying to contribute both financially and physically to the family. I started to come home a little early (though still somewhat late). In one of the discussions, wife asked me to avoid going to functions or get together with her and also consider this as a temporary arrangement and move out after the daughter leaves home for college. Despite all this, we performed a "havan" at home a month ago with the aim to settle things down. Finally, after a lot of hesitation I talked to my in-laws in the absence of my wife. I explained to them the need of three of us to function as an unit and create our own space which requires either us or them moving out. However the father in law was of the opinion that I was doing this to pressurize my wife. 2 months ago he had suggested divorce as an option because of the mental stress borne by his daughter. Overall they didn't seem to accept the offer/ suggestion. Meanwhile, my relationship with my wife and daughter remains stagnant. Some inertia has also creeped into my mind with a decline in the intensity of my efforts. The daughter is not doing well in her studies and doesn't listen to me. Most of the times she is occupied in her mobile. We as parents differ in our views about handling this situation. I am of the view that she should be taken off mobile. Battling so many fronts I am puzzled about the future course of action. Please suggest...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly the in-laws interfering isn't helping at all. I hope they understand that their presence is causing issues in their daughter's marriage. Why don't you and your wife take a break away from all of this? At times, interference can become very overbearing and it's difficult to have an independent view of the marriage. Your wife needs to experience marriage without her parents being around...And on this break, talk about the future and how you will like the marriage to be. And also hear her out speak aloud...it's possible she's carrying a lot of weight about things...expressing these might help soften her stance a bit...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 05, 2023

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Relationship
I refer to my previous mail question for which you have given me a general answer. To make you understand more, i take care of my twin babies most of the time in a day / every day. Both my Wife & in-laws avoid stating all sorts of stories and at the end of the day bringing up my twin kids falls on me and i don't even get a reliever for few minutes to take rest. Both of them, most of the time try to find fault with me, in me and try to blow up the issue. Till now, i have made myself very clear from all these issues and as you said, i tried to spend time with my wife, my in-law try to interfere with us and pulls out my wife with silly reasons like not well, body pain, house hold work. She never let us at least talk for few minutes with my wife and even suggested to my wife to part with me and they (my wife & In-laws) will stay away leaving me and my babies. After so much tolerance, i too told them to leave the babies with me and go as you wish. Now tell me sir, what should i do now???
Ans: I understand that you're facing a challenging situation in your family where you're primarily responsible for taking care of your twin babies, and your wife and in-laws seem to be creating obstacles and conflicts. It's important to approach this situation with care and consideration for the well-being of everyone involved. Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Open Communication: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you feel. Express your concerns and emotions calmly and clearly. Let her know that you want to work together as a team to take care of your children and maintain a healthy relationship.
Seek Professional Help: If communication with your wife doesn't yield positive results, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can provide guidance and facilitate productive discussions.
Set Boundaries: Discuss and establish clear boundaries with your in-laws. Explain to them that while you appreciate their concern, you and your wife need some private time together as a couple, and it's essential for the well-being of your relationship.
Share Responsibilities: If possible, work out a schedule with your wife to share childcare responsibilities more evenly. This can help both of you get some much-needed rest and time together.
Stay Calm and Patient: Dealing with family conflicts can be stressful, but try to remain calm and patient. Avoid engaging in heated arguments or confrontations. Instead, focus on finding constructive solutions.
Consider Legal Advice: In extreme cases, if your relationship with your wife continues to deteriorate, and you fear for your rights as a parent, you may want to consult with an attorney to understand your legal options regarding child custody and visitation.
Self-Care: Don't forget to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Caring for twin babies can be exhausting, so make sure to prioritize your well-being. If possible, seek support from friends or family members who can give you some respite.
Remember that every situation is unique, and it may take time to find a resolution. It's essential to maintain a calm and respectful approach throughout the process. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a harmonious family environment that supports the well-being of both you and your children.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi! I am married for last 12 years. I am living with my wife, child and in laws at a house allotted to her by the company where she works. When the child was 1 year old I had to ask for help from my in laws. Since then they have stayed with us. (Inlaws have a flat nearby which they have rented as they have some health issues and are not willing to move out ). My relationship with my wife and in laws is in a difficult situation. Wife manages a number of household issues in consultation with her parents. This has often irked me forcing a late return from work and not conversing much with the inlaws. The child also seems to be getting hold of the situation and often ignores me. Recently there was an altercation between me and my wife when she asked me to stay away from them. (She says it whenever we fight over any family matter). Now, I am staying away at a secluded place for the past few days and have not receiveda single call from anyone. I don't know how to deal with all this. Kindly guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Overstaying can lead to this. But how can you ask them to leave, right? They are you in-laws and they have been kind enough to help your wife when she needed it.
But, hey it was for a brief time and sadly neither your wife nor your in-laws have understood and they have begun to like to overstaying.
I think you and your wife need to talk this over where you express that its time the two of you took charge and managed the situation at home. As for your in-laws you can always thank them immensely and respectfully ask them to visit soon after a few months. It's a very strategic way of doing this as there are people involved with real raw emotions which in this case can become a huge mess.
But for this to happen, you and your wife need to be in perfect agreement otherwise, the whole thing could be turned against you where you will be looked upon as a villain. So, please express your concerns with your wife and make her understand that as a family the two of you and child need to have your space and privacy to bond and grow.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |5991 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2025Hindi
Career
Hloo Sir, I have scored 78.45 percentile, crl: 320k+ in JEE Mains, category: general. I am a dropper. I scored 65 percentage in class 12, given improvement this year but the results not went well. Sir, I want to ask that The best college and branch I could get ? I am too late to ask this, sorry for that, a lot of my time passed away due to some genuine reasons. Does it will create any problem now to take admission? I was also thinking of New Age Colleges (school of technology) such Newton, Scaler, etc. The private colleges which I would get I don't think they might be good except a few but as it is late so taking admission might be difficult there also. Sir, please suggest which is the best college I could get acc to my score. Should I go for new age colleges, are they really good/worth it as the fees is also higher side. I will be required to take loan for further studies, so if the college is decent, taking loan will be easy. "I was thinking of a decent college where overall growth can take place and not only academic growth." I have also appeared for MHTCET and UPTAC Counselling. Rank alloted to me in MHTCET Counselling is 25245 Thank You Sir
Ans: Hello dear
Your best options are in state-level colleges through MHTCET (such as some mid-tier government or private colleges in Maharashtra) or UPTAC counseling (like AKTU-affiliated colleges), such as Newton, Scalar, etc.

(1) Focus on admission through MHTCET: Aim for PCCOE Pune, VIT Pune, or JSPM, especially in core branches like IT, ECE, or even CSE in lower-round counseling.

(2) Avoid expensive, low-recognition colleges as you mentioned.

(3) Skip JEE-based options: Your JEE rank is too high for NITs or top private colleges like VIT, SRM, etc., and your 12th-grade marks might limit your chances in places with minimum cutoff requirements.

(4) You can still take admission now! Many counseling rounds are still ongoing, so don’t delay further.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply..
Radheshyam

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |2095 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir, I've choosen NIET Greater Noida for BTech CSE, total college fees is coming 11.5 lakhs, we have paid 50k, thinking to get 7.5 lakh as loan from bank, we don't have collateral, earlier we thought that we'll take rest amount from Bihar Student Credit but bank is saying that u can get loan from only one place but drcc is saying that they'll get even after having a loan from bank. I'm short of 3.5 lakhs. My boards percentage is 73.8%.Help me sir to get ideas of how to get the rest amount for my college fees
Ans: – Choosing BTech CSE at NIET is a positive step.
– Good that you're planning your funding early.

? Understanding Your Current Funding Gap
– Total fees: Rs. 11.5 lakh.
– Already paid: Rs. 50,000.
– Planning bank loan: Rs. 7.5 lakh (no collateral).
– Still short: Rs. 3.5 lakh.

? Bank Loan and Bihar Student Credit Card Confusion
– Banks typically allow one loan per student for education.
– However, Bihar Student Credit Card scheme allows funding even if partial loan is taken.
– Visit your district DRCC office in person and explain full loan structure.
– Get a written clarification from them.

? Strategies to Arrange Rs. 3.5 Lakh Gap
– Try increasing the bank loan to maximum allowed under unsecured category (up to Rs. 7.5–10 lakh).
– If DRCC agrees to fund the remaining, you can split the loan.
– Explore NIET’s own installment payment plans. Many colleges have semester-wise fee breakup.
– Request fee extension from the college for the shortfall.
– Approach family, friends, or alumni network for a small temporary interest-free loan.

? Explore Private Education Finance Options
– NBFCs like HDFC Credila, Avanse, or InCred may help with flexible funding.
– They offer loans without collateral up to Rs. 10–15 lakh, depending on course and college.

? Improve Chances of Loan Approval
– Show strong academic intent and purpose to lenders.
– Prepare a course plan, placement record of NIET, and your career goals.

? Finally
– Don’t worry too much. There are multiple small ways to bridge this Rs. 3.5 lakh gap.
– Be proactive with DRCC and college. Keep pushing through.
– You’ve already taken the right steps by planning ahead. Stay focused.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 59 years now.Next year i am retiring.currently i am having Rs 9 cr equity,RS 80 LAKS MF,Rs 50 laks FD and Rs 85 laks PF and having 2 house owned.I am expecting Rs 2 laks for my monthly income after retirement.I am having 1 daughter she is 22 years and studying
Ans: At age 59, with retirement just a year away, your planning so far shows strong discipline.
Your goal of Rs 2 lakhs monthly income after retirement is very achievable.
Let’s look at your situation from all angles to build a secure post-retirement financial roadmap.

? Retirement Readiness Assessment

– Your current corpus is excellent.
– Rs 9 crore in equity is significant.
– Rs 80 lakhs in mutual funds adds strong diversification.
– Rs 50 lakhs in FD offers fixed income security.
– Rs 85 lakhs in PF ensures steady post-retirement liquidity.
– Two houses add to your overall stability and confidence.

– With Rs 11.15 crore in financial assets, your financial independence is assured.
– Your target of Rs 2 lakhs monthly income (Rs 24 lakhs annually) is realistic.
– Even assuming modest returns, this can sustain for 30+ years of retirement.

? Portfolio Allocation Post Retirement

– Shift from aggressive to balanced allocation now.
– Reduce direct equity exposure gradually.
– Allocate into hybrid or balanced advantage mutual funds.
– Keep 30%–40% in equity-oriented funds for inflation protection.
– Move 20%–25% to debt-oriented mutual funds for regular income.
– 15%–20% in FDs for short-term needs and emergencies.
– Retain your PF. Start withdrawing gradually after retirement.

– Use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from mutual funds for regular monthly income.
– Prefer growth option and withdraw as per requirement via SWP.
– This gives you tax efficiency and cash flow predictability.

? Monthly Income Plan

– You aim for Rs 2 lakhs/month post-retirement.
– A smart combination of sources can give this.

Use SWP from mutual funds: target Rs 80,000–Rs 1 lakh/month.

Interest from FD: Rs 30,000–Rs 40,000/month.

Partial PF withdrawal: Rs 40,000/month for 15–20 years.

Rental income (if available from 2nd house): Additional support.

– Rebalance every 1–2 years to adjust for inflation and market changes.

? Risk Management and Safety

– Keep Rs 25–30 lakhs in FD or ultra-short debt funds.
– This acts as emergency and buffer for market volatility.
– Avoid new high-risk equity bets at this stage.
– Your current equity should be gradually rebalanced.

– Avoid ULIPs, PMS or structured products from banks or agents.
– They are unsuitable post-retirement.

– Ensure asset safety through joint ownership and nomination updates.

? Tax Planning

– After retirement, your taxable income will change.
– SWP from mutual funds is tax-efficient due to capital gains benefit.
– Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
– Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) on equity funds is taxed at 20%.
– For debt funds, gains are taxed as per your slab.

– FD interest is fully taxable as per slab. Spread FDs in family names.
– Consider gifting funds to daughter (once she earns) to save tax.

– Create a family income-splitting strategy to optimise overall taxation.

? Role of Mutual Funds After Retirement

– Mutual funds will play a central role now.
– Use regular plans through a trusted MFD with CFP credential.
– Avoid direct plans.

– Direct plans lack guidance, reviews, and emotional coaching.
– With regular plans, you get active monitoring and risk control.
– In retirement, having a Certified Financial Planner guiding you adds immense value.

– Stay away from index funds.
– Index funds blindly follow the market.
– They lack downside protection and fund manager expertise.
– Active funds offer rebalancing, risk controls and better retirement fit.

? Daughter’s Education & Support

– At 22, she may need support for higher education or career goals.
– Keep aside Rs 15–20 lakhs in debt funds or FD for her future needs.
– This avoids disturbing your retirement corpus.
– Do not rely on equity for short-term educational needs.

– Once she starts earning, encourage her to plan own finances early.

? Estate and Legacy Planning

– Make a clear Will without delay.
– Include all financial and real estate assets.
– Mention nominees clearly in all accounts and investments.
– Register the Will if possible for legal strength.

– Keep a secure record of passwords, account numbers and bank lockers.
– Share with trusted family members.

– Plan your corpus distribution well – spouse, daughter, charity if desired.
– Protect legacy from legal disputes with proper documentation.

? Health Coverage and Contingency

– Maintain a strong health insurance policy.
– Do not rely only on savings for medical emergencies.
– Take a top-up health plan if needed.
– Ensure spouse is also covered.

– Medical inflation is high. Keep Rs 10–15 lakhs buffer in debt funds.
– This ensures you don’t withdraw from retirement income for health costs.

? Use of Property

– You own two houses.
– Live in one and rent the other if feasible.
– Avoid selling unless absolutely needed.

– Rental income helps reduce pressure on mutual fund withdrawals.
– However, do not consider property as a retirement plan.
– Illiquidity and maintenance are major risks in old age.

? Inflation and Lifestyle

– Rs 2 lakhs per month is good today.
– But inflation will erode it slowly.
– After 10 years, you may need Rs 3.5–4 lakhs/month for same lifestyle.

– So keep at least 35% of portfolio in growth assets like equity funds.
– This ensures your portfolio beats inflation over the long term.

– Revisit your retirement plan every 2 years.
– Adjust withdrawals and investments based on market and expenses.

? Behavioural and Emotional Discipline

– Avoid panic during market volatility.
– Stay disciplined with withdrawal strategy.
– Work with your Certified Financial Planner to avoid emotional investment errors.

– Retirement is a long phase – maybe 25+ years.
– You need growth, income, safety, and peace.
– Stick to the strategy. Don’t chase returns.

– Make spending priorities clear – needs vs wants.
– Focus on health, relationships, experiences – not on flashy lifestyle.

? Action Plan (Next 6–12 Months)

– Rebalance portfolio: Reduce equity, increase hybrid and debt funds.
– Setup SWP from mutual funds for regular cash flow.
– Allocate emergency corpus in FD or liquid funds.
– Create Will and update nominees.
– Review health insurance coverage for self and spouse.
– Keep Rs 15–20 lakhs separate for daughter’s education.
– Finalise post-retirement income plan with Certified Financial Planner.

? Finally

You are entering retirement from a position of great strength.
You have created a solid foundation with over Rs 11 crore in financial assets.
With the right guidance, steady withdrawals and discipline, your retirement life can be peaceful.

Stay focused on safety, tax-efficiency and sustainable income.
Avoid risky products, emotional decisions and large lifestyle jumps.
Let your wealth serve your life goals without tension.

A Certified Financial Planner can support you regularly in these next decades.
Not just for returns, but also for reviews, rebalancing and family safety.
Wishing you a peaceful and prosperous retirement journey ahead.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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