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Anu Krishna  |1591 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My wife got posted in distant place 10 years back. I had to ask for help from my inlaws as our child was very young. They started to live with her. After 1 year she got transferred back to the place where I was living. She got a flat from the company and we started to live together. Since then my inlaws are also staying with us. They purchased another flat nearby but are not willing to move there. Now, the problem is that whenever me and my wife have a quarrel she just stops talking and starts to take decisions in consultation with my inlaws. I am completely out of the loop in these circumstances. Over the years my relationship with inlaws has gone sour and quarrels with wife have been lasting longer (upto 2 months). My inlaws are otherwise well behaved but their presence somehow is hindering the process of natural reconciliation between me and my spouse or I am perceiving the situation incorrectly. Please guide

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What you all have done is jumped impulsively into one situation, made it comfortable asking people to help and then jumped back into the original situation and not knowing how to ask the same people to stay away!
Your wife has to grow out of her parents being around and you have to understand that your in-laws have got used to stepping in while you were away.
It's about time that you and your wife had a mature conversation on how to manage your family yourselves and be responsible for raising your child. But do remember to deal with your in-laws carefully. After all, they gracefully kept their lives on hold to help your wife and your child. Without hurting their sentiments, you are going to have to convey to them that you are thankful for what they have done for you BUT now you would like to be there for your family. Initially, this will hurt them and your wife, but anymore of this game will pull you and wife away from one another. So, they do need to move out...
You are not cutting strings but simply loosening the grip it currently has which is unhealthy for your marriage. Hope that your wife also understands this which means she will put you to test and in her mind or vocally compare what you bring to the table and how her parents supported her. Bear with it and as the two of you work together in putting the family back together, she will eventually understand that this is for the best.

All the best!
Asked on - Apr 15, 2025 | Answered on Apr 16, 2025
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Hello ma'am! It has been long time since the last update. After the counselling session, I moved back to my wife's allotted quarter though I stayed in a separate room. I have been trying to contribute both financially and physically to the family. I started to come home a little early (though still somewhat late). In one of the discussions, wife asked me to avoid going to functions or get together with her and also consider this as a temporary arrangement and move out after the daughter leaves home for college. Despite all this, we performed a "havan" at home a month ago with the aim to settle things down. Finally, after a lot of hesitation I talked to my in-laws in the absence of my wife. I explained to them the need of three of us to function as an unit and create our own space which requires either us or them moving out. However the father in law was of the opinion that I was doing this to pressurize my wife. 2 months ago he had suggested divorce as an option because of the mental stress borne by his daughter. Overall they didn't seem to accept the offer/ suggestion. Meanwhile, my relationship with my wife and daughter remains stagnant. Some inertia has also creeped into my mind with a decline in the intensity of my efforts. The daughter is not doing well in her studies and doesn't listen to me. Most of the times she is occupied in her mobile. We as parents differ in our views about handling this situation. I am of the view that she should be taken off mobile. Battling so many fronts I am puzzled about the future course of action. Please suggest...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly the in-laws interfering isn't helping at all. I hope they understand that their presence is causing issues in their daughter's marriage. Why don't you and your wife take a break away from all of this? At times, interference can become very overbearing and it's difficult to have an independent view of the marriage. Your wife needs to experience marriage without her parents being around...And on this break, talk about the future and how you will like the marriage to be. And also hear her out speak aloud...it's possible she's carrying a lot of weight about things...expressing these might help soften her stance a bit...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 20, 2025

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My JEE main CRL rank is 37000 and and OBC rank is 10442 Will I get Electronics or Mechanical at tier 1 Nit's
Ans: Dear Tilak, Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile | Convert the Percentile to AIR, based on the Formula available in Google.
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

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