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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 05, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Sankar Question by Sankar on Sep 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I refer to my previous mail question for which you have given me a general answer. To make you understand more, i take care of my twin babies most of the time in a day / every day. Both my Wife & in-laws avoid stating all sorts of stories and at the end of the day bringing up my twin kids falls on me and i don't even get a reliever for few minutes to take rest. Both of them, most of the time try to find fault with me, in me and try to blow up the issue. Till now, i have made myself very clear from all these issues and as you said, i tried to spend time with my wife, my in-law try to interfere with us and pulls out my wife with silly reasons like not well, body pain, house hold work. She never let us at least talk for few minutes with my wife and even suggested to my wife to part with me and they (my wife & In-laws) will stay away leaving me and my babies. After so much tolerance, i too told them to leave the babies with me and go as you wish. Now tell me sir, what should i do now???

Ans: I understand that you're facing a challenging situation in your family where you're primarily responsible for taking care of your twin babies, and your wife and in-laws seem to be creating obstacles and conflicts. It's important to approach this situation with care and consideration for the well-being of everyone involved. Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Open Communication: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you feel. Express your concerns and emotions calmly and clearly. Let her know that you want to work together as a team to take care of your children and maintain a healthy relationship.
Seek Professional Help: If communication with your wife doesn't yield positive results, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can provide guidance and facilitate productive discussions.
Set Boundaries: Discuss and establish clear boundaries with your in-laws. Explain to them that while you appreciate their concern, you and your wife need some private time together as a couple, and it's essential for the well-being of your relationship.
Share Responsibilities: If possible, work out a schedule with your wife to share childcare responsibilities more evenly. This can help both of you get some much-needed rest and time together.
Stay Calm and Patient: Dealing with family conflicts can be stressful, but try to remain calm and patient. Avoid engaging in heated arguments or confrontations. Instead, focus on finding constructive solutions.
Consider Legal Advice: In extreme cases, if your relationship with your wife continues to deteriorate, and you fear for your rights as a parent, you may want to consult with an attorney to understand your legal options regarding child custody and visitation.
Self-Care: Don't forget to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Caring for twin babies can be exhausting, so make sure to prioritize your well-being. If possible, seek support from friends or family members who can give you some respite.
Remember that every situation is unique, and it may take time to find a resolution. It's essential to maintain a calm and respectful approach throughout the process. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a harmonious family environment that supports the well-being of both you and your children.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi! I am married for last 12 years. I am living with my wife, child and in laws at a house allotted to her by the company where she works. When the child was 1 year old I had to ask for help from my in laws. Since then they have stayed with us. (Inlaws have a flat nearby which they have rented as they have some health issues and are not willing to move out ). My relationship with my wife and in laws is in a difficult situation. Wife manages a number of household issues in consultation with her parents. This has often irked me forcing a late return from work and not conversing much with the inlaws. The child also seems to be getting hold of the situation and often ignores me. Recently there was an altercation between me and my wife when she asked me to stay away from them. (She says it whenever we fight over any family matter). Now, I am staying away at a secluded place for the past few days and have not receiveda single call from anyone. I don't know how to deal with all this. Kindly guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Overstaying can lead to this. But how can you ask them to leave, right? They are you in-laws and they have been kind enough to help your wife when she needed it.
But, hey it was for a brief time and sadly neither your wife nor your in-laws have understood and they have begun to like to overstaying.
I think you and your wife need to talk this over where you express that its time the two of you took charge and managed the situation at home. As for your in-laws you can always thank them immensely and respectfully ask them to visit soon after a few months. It's a very strategic way of doing this as there are people involved with real raw emotions which in this case can become a huge mess.
But for this to happen, you and your wife need to be in perfect agreement otherwise, the whole thing could be turned against you where you will be looked upon as a villain. So, please express your concerns with your wife and make her understand that as a family the two of you and child need to have your space and privacy to bond and grow.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am 38 years old. I have been living abroad since I was 21 years old. I have been focused on my career since then. I got married in 2021 in India and just after 4 months living in India, we again moved abroad. This country was new for me and my my wife, but my brother was already settled in this country with his family. As I was living away from my family for many years, me and my wife decided to live in a joint family with my brother’s family. However, I was quite busy adjusting to my new job, my wife couldn’t adjust well to my side of the family, my brother, his wife and my mother. After living together with everyone for a year, me and my wife decided to live separately from my side of the family. Now after 5 months my wife became pregnant and we both wanted to have a child. So even though my family was quite close and could have supported us during this time. I decided to sponsor my in laws on a visa so that my wife could feel supportive during this time. We had a girl child and I have avoided to communicate to my family during this one year so that my wife doesn’t get any stress or anything from my family. However as soon as we had a child, I have invited my mother and my brother family to visit my daughter. Now my in laws have started quarreling with me once in a while. And they convinced my wife to go to India with them. My wife has been living in India since last 6 months, they would never let me see my daughter over the phone call, and whenever I called them they would ask me for the money/gifts. Let me add to that when I went abroad, my wife was not working initially and I used to give her 30% of my salary and I used to bear all the expenses. When my in laws started living with us, I over heard them talking if I continued having relationship with my side of the family, she would buy her a home in India and take my daughter away from me. Now recently I came to India to get everything sorted, I do not think my wife would be willing to come with me without my in laws. How could I convince her to start over and repair our relationship for us and our beautiful daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure you see a pattern in your wife's actions. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I will say: She does like to get her way in most things.
How else do you explain that when she is stressed keep them away and when she needs, she wants them back?
How can you expect to have support from your side of the family when you two decided to alienate them?
How does it work when she decided to stay back with her family with absolutely no regard that you as father will want to be close to your daughter?
How do you explain that they secretly conspire to take your daughter away from you if you involve your family?

Do you not see the immaturity of how they have very systematically alienated you from your family and your daughter?

To be able to put things together, your wife really needs to get away from her parents. They seem to hold the strings and have no qualms about spoiling their daughter's life...Bring her out of that family and move to a location that is not easily accessible to them; as in maybe back abroad, so they are not in and out of your home. Start building your relationship with your wife by being a hands-on father and that may also give her an idea as to the person that you are. You must be appreciated for the person that you are...Give this a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9144 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 32 years old....I am having monthly income of 30k/month...I have 2.5lakh as emergency fund in fd....now want to start mutual fund as well as gold etf....please suggest me some mutual fund ...I want to save monthly 15k to 17k
Ans: You are 32 years old. You earn Rs 30,000 per month. You have Rs 2.5 lakh as emergency fund. That shows strong discipline and responsibility. Now you want to invest Rs 15,000 to Rs 17,000 every month. Your aim is to build wealth. Also, you are interested in mutual funds and gold ETFs. Let us go step by step.

Setting Your Investment Priorities
You already have emergency fund in FD.

That keeps your liquidity needs safe.

Now, your next goal is wealth creation.

For that, mutual funds are perfect.

Gold ETF can be added in small part.

Don’t invest big in gold. Keep it limited.

Goal Clarity is Important
You should write down your goals.

Are you planning for a house?

Or is it for marriage or child education?

Maybe it's for retirement savings?

Goals help in selecting right mutual funds.

Time horizon also becomes clear.

Suggested Monthly Allocation of Rs 17,000
Let us split your monthly investment:

Rs 11,000 into equity mutual funds.

Rs 3,000 into hybrid mutual funds.

Rs 2,000 into debt mutual funds.

Rs 1,000 into gold ETF.

You may adjust this based on your risk. But don't invest too much in gold.

Why Gold ETF Should Be Limited
Gold gives no interest or dividend.

It performs during uncertainty only.

Over long-term, equity gives better returns.

So, gold should be less than 10% of portfolio.

It is only for diversification.

Don’t treat it as wealth creator.

Mutual Fund Categories Based on Goals
1. Large Cap Mutual Funds

Invest in top 100 companies.

Less volatile than mid and small caps.

Good for first-time investors.

Offers steady long-term wealth growth.

2. Flexi Cap Mutual Funds

Fund manager chooses from all market caps.

Gives flexibility based on market cycles.

Helps in managing market risk smartly.

Good for investors with moderate risk.

3. Aggressive Hybrid Funds

Mix of 65–80% equity and rest debt.

Better stability than pure equity.

Suits medium-term goals also.

Less stress during market falls.

4. Multi Asset Funds

Combines equity, debt, gold in one fund.

Offers automatic diversification.

Helps when you want balanced exposure.

Suitable for moderate investors.

5. Short-Term Debt Funds

Invests in low duration bonds.

Safer option for parking short-term savings.

Helps to reduce total portfolio risk.

Useful during uncertain equity phase.

Avoid These Common Mistakes
Don’t Choose Index Funds

Index funds follow index without brain.

No smart exit or strategy.

Actively managed funds have expert managers.

They adjust portfolio based on market.

Your money gets protected better.

Active funds have better historical outcomes.

Don’t Go for Direct Plans

Direct plans have lower cost.

But no advice, no guidance, no tracking.

You might choose wrong fund unknowingly.

Regular plans with CFP support are better.

You get regular reviews and rebalancing.

Mistakes are avoided with expert help.

Don’t Start SIP Without Goal

SIP without goal lacks direction.

Tracking becomes difficult later.

Emotional exits happen during down phase.

Goal-linked SIPs keep you focused.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner
A CFP is qualified and trained professionally.

They plan your SIPs properly.

They track your investments regularly.

They align your funds with changing goals.

They reduce risks and improve efficiency.

MFDs backed by CFPs are better than apps.

Planning for Taxation
Know mutual fund tax rules clearly.

For equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG taxed at 20%.

For debt mutual funds:

Taxed as per your income slab.

SIP creates fresh purchase every month.

Each SIP has separate tax calculation.

Tax planning should be done smartly.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio Over Time
Don’t forget rebalancing every year.

Some funds may grow faster than others.

That creates imbalance in risk.

CFP-backed MFD will help in rebalancing.

Rebalancing reduces risk and locks profits.

SIP Discipline and Exit Strategy
Never stop SIP in panic.

Market falls are buying opportunities.

Exit only when goal is reached.

Don’t withdraw without plan.

Plan your redemption one year before.

Other Pointers for You
You are saving almost 50% of your income.

That shows high commitment.

Avoid credit card dues and EMIs.

Keep insurance separate from investment.

Buy pure term insurance, not ULIPs.

Don’t fall for fancy schemes.

Review your goals every 12 months.

Keep SIP date just after salary date.

If You Hold LIC or ULIP Policies
Check if your policy is mix of investment and insurance.

Returns are usually low.

Costs are very high.

Surrender and move to mutual funds if no lock-in.

Reinvest proceeds into proper mutual funds.

Term insurance is better for life cover.

Finally
Your financial discipline is really inspiring.

Emergency fund already built.

You are saving nearly 50% monthly.

Next goal is to make wealth grow smartly.

Mutual funds with right mix will help you.

Keep gold at 5–10% only.

Use actively managed regular funds via MFD + CFP.

Avoid index and direct funds.

Plan with clear goals and stay disciplined.

Review, rebalance, and keep your journey going.

You are already doing 70% right. Now, make it 100% with strategy.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9144 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Money
I want to start the SIP of 10000 for 2 years , please recommend good Mutual fund scheme
Ans: Starting a SIP of Rs 10,000 per month for 2 years is a thoughtful decision. Let’s assess this step from all angles and help you make the most of it.

Assessing Your Investment Horizon
Your investment time frame is short.

A 2-year period is considered short-term.

For short-term goals, capital safety matters.

High return expectations may not be realistic.

Risk needs to be controlled carefully.

Understanding Your Investment Goal
First, be clear about your goal.

Is it for a gadget, vacation, or emergency fund?

If the goal is essential, reduce risk.

If optional, you can allow some volatility.

Goal clarity improves fund selection.

SIP: A Strong Discipline
SIP helps in building habits.

It reduces timing risks.

Monthly SIP brings rupee cost averaging.

Market ups and downs are balanced automatically.

Investing Rs 10,000 monthly shows commitment.

Recommended Mutual Fund Categories for 2-Year SIP
1. Low Duration Funds (Debt-Oriented)

Suitable for high capital safety.

Ideal for conservative short-term goals.

Return expectations should be modest.

Liquidity is usually high.

2. Conservative Hybrid Funds

Mix of equity and debt.

Slightly higher returns than debt funds.

Less volatile than pure equity funds.

Useful for moderate risk appetite.

3. Equity Savings Funds

Includes equity, debt, and arbitrage.

Offers tax efficiency in some cases.

Returns slightly better than debt funds.

Good for short-term with low to medium risk.

4. Short-Term Debt Funds

Suitable for less than 3-year goals.

Stable returns with low market risk.

Limited credit and interest rate risk.

Better than fixed deposits in some cases.

5. Banking and PSU Debt Funds

Invest in high-quality government-backed securities.

Low credit risk.

Reasonably safe for 2-year horizon.

Ideal for stable income seekers.

Avoid These Options for 2-Year SIP
Avoid Pure Equity Funds

Too risky for just 2 years.

Equity may not perform in short term.

Possible capital loss when you withdraw.

Avoid Index Funds

Index funds mimic the index blindly.

No protection during market crash.

They lack flexibility and adaptability.

Actively managed funds are better.

Skilled fund managers reduce downsides.

Avoid ULIPs and Investment-Linked Insurance

They lock money for 5+ years.

Charges are high and returns are unclear.

Not suitable for short investment horizons.

Avoid Annuities

Annuities are for retirement only.

They don’t match short-term goals.

Return rates are too low.

Flexibility is very poor.

Assessing Risk Comfort
Are you comfortable with small fluctuations?

Or do you want fixed return expectations?

This helps choose between equity mix or pure debt.

If High Risk Appetite:

Choose conservative hybrid or equity savings.

Slight equity exposure helps returns.

If Low Risk Appetite:

Stick with short duration debt funds.

Your capital remains stable.

Benefits of Choosing Regular Plans with a Certified Financial Planner
Regular plans offer guided experience.

CFP-backed MFDs help with timely decisions.

Investors get hand-holding and reviews.

Direct plans give no advice.

Mistakes are common in direct investing.

Portfolio gets no regular monitoring.

Risks in Direct Funds:

You pick funds without deep research.

You miss exit triggers.

Rebalancing is never done timely.

Tax planning is missed often.

Overall returns can drop due to poor strategy.

Advantages of MFD with CFP:

Ongoing support and guidance.

Helps match fund with goal.

Disciplined reviews every quarter.

Timely switch between schemes if needed.

Advice on tax implications.

Consider SIP in Multiple Funds
Don’t invest Rs 10,000 in one fund.

Divide across 2–3 funds.

This reduces concentration risk.

You benefit from different strategies.

Sample Split (based on risk):

Rs 4,000 in low duration debt fund.

Rs 3,000 in equity savings fund.

Rs 3,000 in conservative hybrid fund.

Note: This is a structure, not a recommendation of names.

Regular Tracking and Rebalancing is Crucial
Set alerts for SIP dates.

Review every 6 months at least.

Track if funds match your goal.

If a fund underperforms, switch it.

Don’t stop SIP due to market fall.

That is the time to stay invested.

Taxation Matters in Mutual Funds
You must know mutual fund tax rules.

For debt funds: returns taxed as per your slab.

For equity-oriented funds (like equity savings):

STCG taxed at 20%.

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

SIPs create new purchase dates monthly.

So taxation depends on each SIP's holding time.

Consult CFP for fund-specific tax planning.

Set a Clear Exit Plan After 2 Years
Plan how you’ll use the corpus.

Exit strategy matters as much as entry.

Don’t wait till last day to withdraw.

Begin phased withdrawal near maturity.

Helps avoid last-minute market shocks.

Additional Points to Consider
Avoid taking loans for SIPs.

Don’t stop SIP midway without reason.

Link SIP to savings account, not salary account.

Keep SIP date just after salary credit.

Build emergency fund separately before SIP.

Never break emergency fund for SIPs.

Finally
Starting a SIP of Rs 10,000 monthly is a great step.

You show discipline and long-term thinking.

Just ensure you match your goal and risk.

Always get guidance from a CFP-backed MFD.

They help manage your portfolio smartly.

Avoid index and direct funds for better control.

Diversify into 2–3 suitable categories.

Track regularly and plan your withdrawal well.

Stay invested. Stay disciplined.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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