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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Kumar Question by Kumar on Oct 23, 2025Hindi
Relationship

My wife caught by cheeting me and but she didn't feel guilty and still I think she continues the same, I lost my feelings and interest on her, we have two kids because of kids I can't able to take divorce option and I can't be able to live with her Mentally feeling alone and not able to focus on work and family responsibilities what I can do to make better all these problems

Ans: Dear Kumar,
Since you are unable to separate and want to be in the marriage for the sake of the children, then you are going to have to learn to live in the same house as your wife.
Try staying in two different rooms as a 'test' arrangement to see if this works. If not, move to a another place and keep visiting the children often.
Either way, the children are going to be impacted, so take care of their emotions while making all these changes. Let them know that their parents will love them no matter what.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

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Relationship
Hi, I have been married since 2011 and have a son aged 9 yrs. My wife managed her professional career as well as home. I trusted her to the fullest and allowed her to go out of town alone for work purpose. However in 2017, my wife had an affair with her senior working in bank and it was physical relationship too. It lasted for almost 1.5 yr untill I caught her in August 2018. When confronted she did not had proper justification for doing such gross thing and tried too blame me. Since than she has no contact with that person and even she filed a complain in the office against that person for stalking. She is remorseful and shameful for her act, but i dont feel any attachment towards her. I am still continuing in marriage with mental trauma of affair. What should i do with marriage now?
Ans: Dear Saurav

Discovering that your wife has been unfaithful can be a traumatic experience, and it's understandable that you may be feeling hurt, angry, and betrayed. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health during this time.

Here are some steps that you can take to help you navigate this situation:

Seek support: Consider talking to a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, or a support group for individuals who have experienced infidelity. It's important to have someone to talk to who can provide a listening ear and a safe space for you to express your emotions.

Communicate: If you want to work on your relationship with your wife, it's important to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings. Let your wife know how her actions have affected you and what you need in order to move forward.

Set boundaries: It's important to set clear boundaries with your wife regarding what is and isn't acceptable behavior. If you choose to work on your relationship, make sure that your wife is willing to take responsibility for her actions and work towards rebuilding trust.

Consider counseling: If you and your wife want to work on your relationship, consider couples counseling. A trained therapist can help you and your wife communicate effectively and work through any underlying issues that may have contributed to the infidelity.

Take time to reflect: Consider what you want for your future and whether or not you are willing to work on your relationship. It's important to make a decision that feels right for you and your well-being.

Don't blame yourself: It's important to remember that your wife's infidelity is not your fault. While it's natural to feel responsible or to question what you could have done differently, ultimately the decision to cheat was your wife's alone.

It's important to acknowledge your own feelings and to take care of yourself during this time. With time and support, it's possible to heal and move forward from the trauma of infidelity. Ultimately, the decision about what to do with your marriage is up to you and your wife, and it's important to make a decision that feels right for both of you.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 05, 2023

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife were happily love married since 15 yrs and we r in relationship since 19 yrs. In between yrs i was out of family due to financial issues and got some bad habits of sex,chatting etc.She got to know this last year and broken down. After 6 month she was caught by me with chatting , flirting with 2 men. She left all and no things has been caught since 4 months. But the life is very shaky We both want to stay bcoz of 2 children. But I m very shaky after her these activities as she was very loyal, very gud and was like God for me. Every time we on discussion, it turn on into fighting and she used to say it's u who had turn me like this, looks she never feel guilt What to do !!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly re-evaluate what each of you have done to drain the marriage. Then maybe you both will stop blaming one another and then address the marriage issues in a more civil manner.
Both your actions have placed a huge strain on the marriage and it has deteriorated over time and 'staying for the sake of the children' is not something that is helping them or either of you. What's the point of staying when the children witness both the parents bickering over almost everything?

So, please the two of you sit down and think about:
- whether you want to rebuild the marriage or leave?
And if you truly want to fix things, then this 'blame game' has to stop...it truly has taken two to tango here and do accept responsibility for the deterioration as mature adults. Only then you can take a decision one way or the other.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

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Relationship
I am 39 years old. Married for 10 years. My wife had an extramarital affair with one boy when I was working away from her since we were both 10 years old. I found her red-handedly. She is asking for sorry. She made a mistake she will not do in the future like that she is telling me. I accepted her because of my son, but the problem is, I still can't forget because I blindly trusted her a lot and she betrayed me. I am unable to work despite living with her. Sometimes I feel depressed. Kindly guide me on what should I do.
Ans: Dear Eswar,

Your feelings are completely valid. Dealing with infidelity in a relationship is very difficult. Simply because you have forgiven your partner does not necessarily mean you have forgotten about it or have mentally dealt with it well. I suggest having an open conversation about your feelings with your wife. It is true that one mistake should not be the deciding factor, still, cheating is a pretty big mistake to forgive. If it is taking you some time to get over it, your wife has to help you get through it. When you do it together, it also helps the marriage grow. The best course of action would be to see a marriage counselor to get more structured guidance out of this.

Remember you do not have to rush yourself to feel all better. Infidelity is a traumatic experience for the one on the receiving end. Take all the time you need to get through it. And don't hold back from sharing with your wife how you are feeling. Open communication helps more than you know.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P P  |10889 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
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I am 43 year old Civil Structural Engineer working in an MNC. I am having 21 years of experience. I want to divert my carrier line which will enter me in IT mode or similar kind. I want to shift in Europe. I have bacholer and PG degree in Civil Engineering. The current design job pays me which is very less compared to my total experience. I lack presenting myself in interviews. How can I improve myself and switch the currier line in IT related work which will pay me higher. Pls guide. Requesting to reply individually at my id and not to post online. Thank you
Ans: (Answering your question on the RediffGURU platform amplifies our expertise's impact—thousands facing similar challenges benefit from our solution. Our response becomes a permanent, searchable resource for future seekers. Public contribution establishes our credibility as trusted advisors, transforming our knowledge into a valuable community asset and creating a meaningful legacy). Here is our comprehensive answer to your question: Your 21 years civil engineering expertise combined with Master's degree provides an exceptional foundation for IT transition. Strategic positioning emphasizing transferable skills, targeted certifications, and professional coaching enables successful pivot to higher-paying roles with a European relocation opportunity. OPTION 1: Technical Program/Project Management Track (Lower Risk, Faster Transition). Strategic Positioning: Position your 21 years civil engineering project management experience as directly transferable to IT program management. 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Be particularly cautious of fraudulent job offers and coaching services promising unrealistic outcomes (e.g., guaranteed placements, excessive upfront fees, vague service descriptions). Protect yourself by validating professional credentials through official regulatory bodies, avoiding providers requesting large advance payments, and cross-referencing company information independently. Strategic guidance from experienced, credible professionals significantly enhances transition success and European employment prospects while safeguarding your financial and professional interests). All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I plan to withdraw ₹6 lakh from my EPF after completing only 3 years of service, and my PAN is linked with my EPF account. Since my service period is less than 5 years, how much TDS at 10% will be deducted at the time of withdrawal? How will this EPF withdrawal be taxed in my income tax return, and can I claim a refund of the TDS deducted if my total income falls below the taxable limit?
Ans: You are thinking ahead, and that is very important. EPF withdrawal before 5 years has tax impact, but with the right understanding, there will be no surprise later.

» EPF withdrawal before completing 5 years of service
– Your total service is only 3 years
– EPF withdrawal is treated as taxable income
– PAN is linked, so TDS applies at a lower rate
– Withdrawal amount mentioned is Rs. 6 lakh

» TDS deduction at the time of EPF withdrawal
– When PAN is linked, EPFO deducts TDS at 10%
– TDS is calculated on the taxable portion of EPF
– In practical terms, EPFO usually deducts around Rs. 60,000 as TDS
– You will receive the balance amount after TDS deduction

» Important clarity on TDS
– TDS is not final tax
– It is only an advance tax collected by EPFO
– Actual tax depends on your total income for the year

» How EPF withdrawal is taxed in your income tax return
– EPF withdrawal is added to your total income
– Employee contribution portion becomes taxable
– Employer contribution portion becomes taxable
– Interest earned also becomes taxable
– The full taxable amount is taxed as per your income tax slab

» Filing income tax return after EPF withdrawal
– EPF withdrawal amount must be declared in the return
– TDS deducted by EPFO will appear in Form 26AS
– You must include both income and TDS details correctly

» Can you claim refund of TDS deducted
– Yes, refund is fully possible
– If your total income including EPF withdrawal is below taxable limit
– Or if your final tax liability is lower than TDS deducted
– The excess TDS will be refunded after return processing

» Common misunderstanding to avoid
– Many people think 10% TDS is final tax, which is not true
– Actual tax may be zero, lower, or higher based on income slab
– Not filing return will result in loss of refund

» Planning insight from a long-term view
– EPF is a retirement-focused asset
– Early withdrawal increases tax and reduces future safety
– Withdraw only if there is real financial need
– If employment resumes soon, transfer is always cleaner

» Finally
– TDS of around Rs. 60,000 will be deducted at withdrawal
– Entire EPF withdrawal is taxable due to service below 5 years
– Refund can be claimed if total income is within limits
– Proper return filing ensures no permanent tax loss

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I applied for EPF transfer, but the request was rejected due to a mismatch in my date of birth between EPFO records and Aadhaar/PAN. My old EPF account has a balance of ₹4.5 lakh. What is the correct procedure to get the date of birth corrected, how long does this correction process usually take, and will my EPF balance continue to earn interest during this period or will there be any loss of interest?
Ans: You have done the right thing by checking this issue early. EPF date of birth mismatch is common, and it is fully correctable. Your Rs. 4.5 lakh balance is safe, and there is no panic situation here. This can be handled in a structured and clean way.

» Why this mismatch happens
– Older EPF records were created based on employer data entry, not Aadhaar
– Even a small difference like day or month swap leads to rejection
– EPFO now treats Aadhaar as the master record
– Until DOB is matched, transfer and withdrawal requests stay on hold

» Correct procedure to update date of birth in EPFO
– Step 1: Ensure Aadhaar DOB is correct

If Aadhaar DOB is wrong, correct Aadhaar first

EPFO will not accept changes unless Aadhaar is accurate

– Step 2: Initiate “Joint Declaration” online

Login to EPFO member portal

Select “Joint Declaration” option

Choose “Date of Birth” for correction

Enter correct DOB as per Aadhaar

– Step 3: Employer verification

Current employer must digitally approve the request

No physical form is required if employer is active on EPFO portal

– Step 4: EPFO field office approval

EPFO officer verifies Aadhaar, PAN and service history

Once approved, DOB gets updated in EPFO records

» Documents usually required
– Aadhaar (mandatory)
– PAN (supporting)
– School certificate or birth certificate only if EPFO asks for extra proof
– In most cases, Aadhaar alone is enough

» How long this correction process takes
– Employer approval: 3 to 10 working days
– EPFO verification: 15 to 30 working days
– In some regional offices, it may go up to 45 days
– Follow up is possible through EPFO grievance if it crosses 30 days

» What happens to your Rs. 4.5 lakh EPF balance meanwhile
– Your EPF account remains active
– Money stays invested with EPFO
– No freeze on balance
– No deduction or penalty

» Will EPF continue to earn interest during correction
– Yes, interest continues to accrue
– EPF interest is calculated yearly, not daily
– As long as account is not withdrawn, interest is credited
– DOB correction or transfer rejection does NOT stop interest
– There is no loss of interest for this delay

» Impact on EPF transfer after DOB correction
– Once DOB is updated, submit transfer request again
– Transfer usually gets approved smoothly
– Past service period is fully preserved
– Pension eligibility and years of service remain intact

» Important points to keep in mind
– Do not apply for withdrawal while correction is pending
– Keep Aadhaar linked and active
– Track request status every week
– If employer delays, raise EPFO grievance online

» Broader financial planning insight
– EPF is a core long-term retirement pillar
– Keeping records clean avoids future delays during retirement
– Small admin issues today prevent big stress later
– You are doing the right thing by fixing this now

» Finally
– DOB correction is a process issue, not a financial loss
– Your money is safe
– Interest continues without break
– Once corrected, your EPF journey becomes smooth and future-ready

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I resigned from my job in April 2024 and my EPF balance is ₹2.1 lakh. If I remain unemployed for 3 months, am I eligible to withdraw the full EPF amount, or is only a partial withdrawal allowed? What are the EPF rules regarding unemployment period, and does it make any difference if I do not join a new employer during this time?
Ans: You have taken a timely step by understanding EPF rules before acting. This clarity will help you avoid mistakes and protect your long-term savings.

» EPF rules after resignation and unemployment
– EPF withdrawal rules depend on the period of unemployment
– Resignation in April 2024 starts the unemployment clock from the last working day
– EPFO treats unemployment as no contribution from employer and employee

» Withdrawal eligibility after 1 month of unemployment
– After completing 1 full month without a job
– You are allowed to withdraw up to 75% of the EPF balance
– This is considered a partial withdrawal
– Remaining balance stays in the EPF account

» Withdrawal eligibility after 2 months of unemployment
– After completing 2 continuous months of unemployment
– You become eligible to withdraw 100% of the EPF balance
– This includes both employee and employer contribution
– Pension portion follows separate rules and is not paid in cash

» What happens if unemployment continues for 3 months
– Staying unemployed for 3 months does not restrict withdrawal
– Full EPF withdrawal remains allowed after 2 months itself
– No additional benefit for waiting beyond 2 months

» Does not joining a new employer make any difference
– Yes, it matters for eligibility
– If you do not join a new employer, withdrawal is allowed
– If you join a new employer, EPFO expects transfer, not withdrawal
– Even a short-term job with EPF contribution restarts employment status

» Interest on EPF during unemployment
– EPF continues to earn interest up to 36 months of no contribution
– Interest credit is done at year-end
– Withdrawing early may stop future interest accumulation

» Tax aspect to be aware of
– If total EPF service is less than 5 years, withdrawal may be taxable
– If service is 5 years or more, withdrawal is tax-free
– This includes service across multiple employers

» Practical decision guidance
– EPF is meant for retirement security
– Withdraw only if cash flow is truly needed
– If job search is ongoing, keeping EPF intact helps future compounding
– Transfer is always better than withdrawal when re-employed

» Common mistakes to avoid
– Withdrawing EPF just because it is available
– Ignoring pension portion rules
– Assuming 3 months wait gives higher benefit

» Finally
– After 2 months of unemployment, full EPF withdrawal is permitted
– 3 months of unemployment does not change eligibility
– Not joining a new employer allows withdrawal
– Joining a new employer shifts the option to transfer

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
My monthly basic salary is ₹18,000. As per EPF rules, what percentage of my salary is deducted towards EPF every month? How much EPF contribution goes from my salary, how much does my employer contribute, and how is the employer’s contribution split between EPF and EPS? Please explain with exact amounts.
Ans: EPF rules are simple and helpful for salaried people like you.

» EPF Deduction Basics
– As per EPF rules, 12% of your basic salary gets deducted every month for EPF.
– For your Rs. 18,000 basic salary, your contribution is Rs. 2,160 (12% of 18,000).*
– This amount goes to your EPF account and builds your retirement corpus steadily.*

» Employer’s Total Contribution
– Your employer also puts in 12% of your basic salary, so another Rs. 2,160 each month.
– Total EPF deposit becomes Rs. 4,320 (your share plus employer share).*
– This matching contribution is a big plus, doubling your savings power without extra cost.*

» Split of Employer’s Share
– Out of employer’s Rs. 2,160, most goes to EPF but a part goes to EPS for pension benefits.
– For salary up to Rs. 15,000, EPS gets 8.33% (Rs. 1,250 max), rest to EPF. But since your basic is Rs. 18,000, EPS is still capped at Rs. 1,250.*
– So employer’s EPF gets Rs. 910 (2,160 minus 1,250), giving you good growth in both pension and provident fund.*

» Why This Setup Works Well
– EPF gives tax free interest around 8-9%, safe and better than many options.
– Your total Rs. 4,320 monthly addition grows big over years with compounding.
– Review your EPF statement yearly to track and appreciate this steady wealth builder.*

Final Insights
– EPF is a solid 360 degree start for retirement, insurance, and loan access.
– Keep contributing fully for max benefits. Talk to your HR if salary details change.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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