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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Prabodh Question by Prabodh on Feb 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My wife is 40 years old and we are blessed with a 7 year old chid. She has completely loss interest in sex and its been several years she has shown any interest in sex. I tried convincing her to visit a doctor but she is quite reluctant. I respect her feelings and hence never persuade her strongly on the matter.But I believe having sexual relationship between husband and wife further strengthen the bond. I am very perplexed and clueless, what should I do in this situation. Please suggest.

Ans: 40 is hardly an age to turn celibate! Instead of convincing her, first have a frank conversation about what the trouble is. Does she not enjoy it? Is she repulsed by it? Does she feel stressed or guilty about it? And yes, even if reluctant, I do believe a therapist is required. You’re completely right about bonding sexually; it is important. Don’t ignore the problem, be supportive but certainly address it.

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2023

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Mam, i am 46 years old, with two lovely daughters age 20 and 18 , for the last 2 years my wife has lost interest in sex, and she avoids it, we have no other issues , i am not able to understand what in her mind, tried to ask but to no avail, rest everything is fine at home, kindly advise
Ans: I understand that this can be a sensitive and challenging situation for you. Loss of interest in sex can be influenced by a variety of factors, and it's important to approach the issue with empathy and open communication. Here are some steps you can consider:

Open Communication: Try to have an open and non-confrontational conversation with your wife. Choose a time when you both can talk calmly and privately. Express your concerns and let her know that you want to understand what she's going through.
Listen Actively: Encourage her to share her feelings and thoughts. Listen without judgment and be empathetic to her perspective. Sometimes, there may be underlying emotional or psychological issues that need to be addressed.
Rule Out Medical Issues: Loss of interest in sex can be caused by medical factors such as hormonal changes, medication side effects, or health issues. Encourage her to see a healthcare professional to rule out any physical causes.
Consider Counseling: If the issue is more complex and related to emotional or psychological factors, you might want to suggest couples counseling or therapy. A trained therapist can help both of you explore the underlying issues and work on solutions.
Respect Boundaries: It's important to respect her boundaries and not pressure her into anything she's not comfortable with. Pressure can often exacerbate the issue.
Maintain Intimacy: While addressing the issue, it's important to maintain emotional intimacy and closeness in your relationship. This can involve non-sexual affection and activities that promote bonding.
Self-Care: Ensure that both you and your wife are taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. Reducing stress, eating healthily, and exercising can have a positive impact on overall well-being and can indirectly affect the sexual aspect of your relationship.
Seek Professional Help: If your wife is unwilling to discuss the issue or if it persists without a clear resolution, it may be helpful for both of you to seek the guidance of a qualified therapist or counselor individually.
Patience and Understanding: Understand that issues related to sexual desire and intimacy can be complex and may take time to resolve. Be patient with the process and with each other.
It's important to remember that every individual's desires and feelings can change over time, and open communication and understanding are key to addressing these changes in a relationship. Seek professional help if necessary, as a therapist can provide guidance and strategies tailored to your specific situation.

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Milind

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Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello i am almost 30 now I have invested around 40 lakhs in Market (mutual funds plus equity) 6 lakhs ppf maybe 2 lakhs pf I have parental property of combining around 2.5cr I have my parents helath insurance from a private insurance company, also covered by cghs health scheme,so no major worries about health expenses, for me i have 10lakhs health insurance Apart from this we have family pension also. As of now overall i have a monthly income of around 2-2.25 lakhs. I have a car a bike a scooty all valid for next 8-10 years What should be my goal amount for the retirement, i want it as early as possible As per the current scenario i am assuming i will live max till 75 years age. As of now i can invest 80-90k per month Yet to be married i assume i need atleast Lakhs per month as of now What should be the ideal amount with which i can retire
Ans: Hello;

Hope you have adequate term life insurance for yourself.

You may start a monthly sip of 90 K in a combination of pure equity mutual funds.

After 10 years your sip and lumpsum investment will grow into sums of 2.09 and 1.24 Cr respectively.

This adds upto 3.33 Cr. If you add your ppf and EPF corpus then this should add upto a sum of around 4 Cr.

If you invest this corpus in a conservative hybrid debt fund and do a SWP at the rate of 3.5%, you may expect a post tax monthly income of
1 L+.

As you get married your expenses will rise as also the need to plan for various other goals.

Therefore the decision to retire from regular 9-6 job should be backed up with alternate business plan or such other plan to monetize your hobbies that may yield income over atleast next 10-15 years.

Best wishes;

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