Travelling with a friend: Why are unmarried couples denied rooms in Indian hotels?

Ans:

Well, I’m not going to sit here and tell you to hurt your parents.

If you want to live together before getting married, that is a decision you both have to take as responsible adults; it’s not a decision someone else gets to make for you because of societal pressure.

Why it’s considered wrong in India or anywhere else is not the issue here; doing what is right for your own life is.

Attitudes do change with time and circumstances.

Speak to your parents about it and maybe they’ll come around eventually. If not, well, it’s still ultimately your call to make.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As I cannot speak for Oyo, or give any insight on their rules and regulations, I won't be of much help here. Please contact the right people for this query.
Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Our culture is very partial towards moral policing. We know what our neighbors should do but forget what we should do. Pratice what you preach is only for the wise men, you see...
So, if you go against societal norms and you are caught be prepared for a backlash.
Now, you can be unapologetic about this backlash that you might face (assuming the couple is of a legal age) and be unbothered by it. And if the moral policing bothers you, then avoid crossing that boundary and stay within the limits of what society prescribes.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Let’s take a moment to imagine the space you and your partner share in Pune—not just the physical home, but the emotional and social landscape that surrounds it. Sometimes, when unexpected challenges arise, like the concerns of a neighbor, they offer us an invitation to explore deeper connections and understandings.

A Journey of Understanding
Picture this situation as a garden. Each relationship, whether with your neighbor, landlord, or your partner, is a unique plant requiring its own care and attention. When one plant seems to overshadow another, it doesn't mean they can't coexist; it simply means finding the right balance and nourishment for both.

Exploring Perspectives
Consider walking in your neighbor’s shoes for a moment. What might be beneath her insistence that only married couples reside in the society? Perhaps there’s a story, a belief, or a concern that’s shaping her actions. By gently uncovering her motivations, you open the door to empathy and understanding.

Communicating with Compassion
Imagine approaching your neighbor with the warmth of a handshake and the openness of a conversation. You might say, “I understand there may be concerns about our living situation. We’ve always strived to be respectful and considerate neighbors. Can we talk about any specific worries you might have?” This invites dialogue rather than confrontation, fostering a space where both sides can express their feelings.

Finding Common Ground
Think about the shared elements that bind a community together—respect, kindness, and mutual support. Perhaps there’s a way to reassure your neighbor of your commitment to these values. Offering to participate in community activities or addressing any specific concerns she has can build trust and dissolve misunderstandings.

Seeking Harmony
Envision a harmonious resolution where both your needs and your neighbor’s concerns are acknowledged. It might involve setting clear boundaries, demonstrating your reliability as tenants, or even finding creative solutions that respect everyone’s viewpoints. The goal isn’t to win a dispute but to cultivate a peaceful and respectful coexistence.

Embracing Collaboration
Sometimes, the most effective solutions emerge when both parties collaborate rather than confront. You and your neighbor might discover that, beneath the surface, there are shared interests or goals that can bridge the gap between differing perspectives. This collaboration can transform a potential conflict into an opportunity for stronger community bonds.

Reflecting on Your Path
As you navigate this situation, take a moment to reflect on what matters most to you and your partner. How can you honor your relationship while also respecting the community you’re part of? By aligning your actions with your values and approaching the challenge with empathy, you create a foundation for lasting harmony.

The Bigger Picture
Remember, every challenge is a chance to grow and deepen your connections. By addressing your neighbor’s concerns with compassion and openness, you not only work towards resolving the immediate issue but also contribute to a more understanding and cohesive community.

In this journey, trust in your ability to communicate effectively, empathize deeply, and find solutions that honor both your relationship and the community around you. As you move forward, let each step be guided by respect, understanding, and the shared desire for a peaceful coexistence.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps