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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Sunita Question by Sunita on Mar 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Why I feel like my friends don't consider me as a friend as same as I consider them

Ans: Please be a little more specific and provide some context to your question; I’m not a medium sitting here with a crystal ball! Either you’re oversensitive or they’re insensitive, but how is anyone to tell from your single-line query? If you have some examples to provide of such behaviour and what you expect, I would be able to help you.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

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Relationship
I JUST WANT TO KEEP FRIENDSHIP TO BE FREE FROM TENSION AND DEPRESSION HOW CAN YOU HELP ME
Ans: Maintaining healthy friendships is important for your well-being. Here are some suggestions on how to keep your friendships stress-free and enjoyable:

Communication: Open and honest communication is key. Express your feelings, concerns, and needs to your friends, and encourage them to do the same. Effective communication can help address any issues or misunderstandings before they escalate.

Boundaries: Establishing and respecting personal boundaries is essential in any friendship. Clearly communicate your boundaries and be mindful of your friends' boundaries as well. This can help prevent conflicts and promote mutual respect.

Active listening: Practice active listening when your friends are sharing their thoughts or concerns. Show genuine interest, ask questions, and provide support when needed. Being a good listener strengthens the bond in friendships.

Quality time: Make an effort to spend quality time with your friends. Plan activities or outings that you all enjoy and create opportunities for meaningful connections. This can help strengthen your friendships and create positive experiences together.

Acceptance and understanding: Recognize that everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and differences. Accept your friends for who they are and try to understand their perspectives. Embracing diversity within friendships can lead to a more harmonious dynamic.

Conflict resolution: Conflicts may arise in any relationship, including friendships. When conflicts occur, address them calmly and constructively. Approach the situation with empathy, actively listen to each other's perspectives, and work together to find resolutions that satisfy both parties.

Self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Prioritizing self-care allows you to bring a positive and balanced energy to your friendships.

Remember that maintaining friendships is a two-way street, and both parties need to invest time and effort. If you're feeling overwhelmed or experiencing tension or depression, it's essential to seek additional support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |65 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello sir/mam.I am 19 yr old female. After joining a tier-3 college because of financial reasons comprimising as less fees. I thought i can work hard on own and reach the top. Since i am very bad at talking to others regarding any topic, i joined this circle of friends who seemed very extroverted and try new things. Ive always had very career driven mind but i also craved friendships so i befriended them But I am confused about my own thoughts. All of them are real, and would never leave me at my lowest. i never had such friends. But they always roast me for fun and i have always been okay. Sometimes it hurts but i ignore cuz its only for fun and mainly they are not selfish. But at the same time i always find myself in same level. They say u should be around people who have growth mindset. I believ same but my frnds are not like that. And i just find alone in that only aspect(careerwise) . Since i give relationships important i am not taking ghis frnd circle issue seriously And this concerns me
Ans: Hey cheer up, if you are giving importance to relationships, you are in a great space, you are doing the right thing. The quality of your life is based on the quality of your relationships and the choices you make. In my life coaching classes I have to teach some people to focus on relationships...you are not one of them, so good going.
After reading all that you have to say, these are my conclusions-
1.your friends are good, but they roast you and it hurts- the roasting is good as long as it doesn't hurt, a little bit of leg pulling is alright among friends. So when it hurts, you need to draw boundaries. Get on a one on one chat with the friend whose remarks hurt you, tell her/him that it is "not ok" and that "it hurts", "it makes you feel underconfident"( whatever you genuinely feel). You have to be assertive communicator( someone who respects others and also themselves), here!!
2. You want to mingle with ppl who have a growth mindset, do that, join groups that have this as their agenda. You know this set of friends can't give you that, so you look elsewhere.
3. You said "you are not good at talking and hence joined this set of extroverted friends", has this solved your prob? Have you become better at talking? If yes, then continue to meet them...if NO then time to let go....continue to meet them for other reasons, you yourself said that they are real and won't let go of you at your lowest, then they are real friends. Continue to nurture these friends but don't relay on them for your needs of growth and good communication skills.
4. you said, "I thought i can work hard on my own and reach the top", this is still right, ask for help where you need, develop your personality and soar high.

All the very best to you

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 17, 2024

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 17, 2024

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Money
Dear Sir, I am 53 yrs. I want to retire @60 with a INR 2.00 Cr Corps. Currently I have following SIP Total SIP 30000/- PM Axis Bluechip Fund - Regular Plan - Growth HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund - Growth Plan Aditya Birla Sun Life Pure Value Fund - Growth Option Aditya Birla Sun Life Equity Advantage Fund - Regular Growth Sundaram Mid Cap Fund Regular Plan - Growth Bajaj Finserv Flexi Cap Fund -Regular Plan-Growth Franklin India Focused Equity Fund - Growth Plan Franklin India Smaller Companies Fund-Growth HDFC Top 100 Fund - Growth Option HDFC Multi Cap Fund - Growth Option I have MF Investment @ 26.00 Lakh Current Value is @ 52.00 Lakh. I have Savings of Rs. 10.00 Lakh, PPF Rs. 5.00 Lakh, Share investment Current Market Value around Rs. 20.00 Lakhs. I don't have any Loan. Insurance INR 1.50 Cr. up age of 70. Per month earning around Rs. 1.25 Lakh. I have a Investment in real estate which can give my INR 40.00 Lakh at current Market Price & Gold Investment of INR 20.00 Lakh which I think sufficient for my daughter Marriage. Current Monthly Expense INR 40-50 K. I am in a new tax regime, so discontinue my ELSS saving and PPF Saving. Suggest how i can increase my Corpus for retirement.
Ans: Hello;

You may top-up your monthly sip by 10% every year for 7 years. This will grow into a sum of around 0.51 Cr.

The MF corpus and direct equity holdings worth 0.72 Cr today will grow into a corpus of 1.59 Cr after 7 years.

Therefore you may achieve your intended corpus of 1.59+ 0.51=2.1 Cr, 7 years from now. A modest return of 12% is assumed from MF and direct equity holdings.

2-3 years before 60 you should start moving your gains from equity funds to liquid or ultra short duration debt funds to protect it against market volatility.

Also good health care insurance for yourself and your spouse.

RE property you may sell at a later date to boost your retirement income.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 17, 2024

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 17, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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