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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Sunita Question by Sunita on Mar 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Why I feel like my friends don't consider me as a friend as same as I consider them

Ans: Please be a little more specific and provide some context to your question; I’m not a medium sitting here with a crystal ball! Either you’re oversensitive or they’re insensitive, but how is anyone to tell from your single-line query? If you have some examples to provide of such behaviour and what you expect, I would be able to help you.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |95 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello sir/mam.I am 19 yr old female. After joining a tier-3 college because of financial reasons comprimising as less fees. I thought i can work hard on own and reach the top. Since i am very bad at talking to others regarding any topic, i joined this circle of friends who seemed very extroverted and try new things. Ive always had very career driven mind but i also craved friendships so i befriended them But I am confused about my own thoughts. All of them are real, and would never leave me at my lowest. i never had such friends. But they always roast me for fun and i have always been okay. Sometimes it hurts but i ignore cuz its only for fun and mainly they are not selfish. But at the same time i always find myself in same level. They say u should be around people who have growth mindset. I believ same but my frnds are not like that. And i just find alone in that only aspect(careerwise) . Since i give relationships important i am not taking ghis frnd circle issue seriously And this concerns me
Ans: Hey cheer up, if you are giving importance to relationships, you are in a great space, you are doing the right thing. The quality of your life is based on the quality of your relationships and the choices you make. In my life coaching classes I have to teach some people to focus on relationships...you are not one of them, so good going.
After reading all that you have to say, these are my conclusions-
1.your friends are good, but they roast you and it hurts- the roasting is good as long as it doesn't hurt, a little bit of leg pulling is alright among friends. So when it hurts, you need to draw boundaries. Get on a one on one chat with the friend whose remarks hurt you, tell her/him that it is "not ok" and that "it hurts", "it makes you feel underconfident"( whatever you genuinely feel). You have to be assertive communicator( someone who respects others and also themselves), here!!
2. You want to mingle with ppl who have a growth mindset, do that, join groups that have this as their agenda. You know this set of friends can't give you that, so you look elsewhere.
3. You said "you are not good at talking and hence joined this set of extroverted friends", has this solved your prob? Have you become better at talking? If yes, then continue to meet them...if NO then time to let go....continue to meet them for other reasons, you yourself said that they are real and won't let go of you at your lowest, then they are real friends. Continue to nurture these friends but don't relay on them for your needs of growth and good communication skills.
4. you said, "I thought i can work hard on my own and reach the top", this is still right, ask for help where you need, develop your personality and soar high.

All the very best to you

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

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Relationship
I meant one of my friend is leaving to some other place...the other one has betrayed me and the one with whom I used to hang out on weekends is in dilemma to continue this or not. My concern is that m feeling lonely and disheartened that why everyone around me is leaving me?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You must have heard of: "Change is the only thing that is permanent."
Apply this into every aspect of you life and you will find that it's true. Are you the same as you are yesterday? No, some thought or learning will make you do something different today.
Similarly, each individual have their own experiences that they must apply into their lives; this may appear as a big change if you are part of their life as well. It may seem like they are ignoring you, rejecting you, judging you etc etc...
None of this is true but YES, they are changing and accepting it is what will keep your mind sane. This is a generic way of looking at it.

Now, if you feel that some incident must have triggered them, then that is something you will know; when in doubt, ASK! Ask them if anything you said or did caused them to feel hurt and if YES, apologize. So no one is leaving you, they are just responding to their dynamic situations in life OR are simply hurt by something.
One will require acceptance from you and the other will require you to work with them to set things right...So, you can steer things to actually make things better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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Money
Hello Sir. I have Rs1,00,000 that I want to invest as a lump sum in SBI Mutual Funds for the long term (15+ years). Considering that SBI has one of the largest Asset Management Companies (AMCs), could you please recommend which SBI Mutual Funds would be suitable for such an investment and have the potential to deliver good returns over this period? I am doing this investment for my daughter's education.
Ans: Your decision to invest Rs 1,00,000 for your daughter's education is commendable. A long-term horizon of 15+ years offers significant growth potential through mutual funds. Below are insights and recommendations to guide your investment.

Why SBI Mutual Funds?

SBI is one of India’s largest and most trusted AMCs.

They offer a wide range of funds suitable for different goals and risk levels.

Their consistent performance track record reflects sound fund management.

Key Factors to Consider for Long-Term Investments

Investment Objective:

Education is a critical financial goal.

Focus on wealth accumulation through equity-oriented funds.

Risk Appetite:

Equity funds involve volatility but offer high growth.

Ensure alignment with your risk tolerance.

Fund Type Selection:

Choose funds based on asset allocation and diversification.

Evaluate the performance of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds.

Tax Implications:

LTCG over Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Understand taxation for equity and debt funds.

Suggested Fund Categories for Your Investment

1. Large-Cap Funds

Invest in funds focusing on well-established companies.

They offer stability and moderate risk.

Suitable for conservative investors.

2. Mid-Cap Funds

These funds focus on medium-sized companies with high growth potential.

They are riskier than large-cap funds but offer higher returns.

Suitable for investors willing to take calculated risks.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds

Invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies.

They offer diversification and the flexibility to adapt to market conditions.

Ideal for investors seeking balanced growth.

4. Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS)

ELSS funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C.

They have a lock-in period of three years.

Suitable for investors aiming for tax-efficient long-term growth.

5. Hybrid Funds

Invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments.

They offer stability through debt and growth through equity.

Suitable for moderate-risk investors.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

CFPs offer expert guidance tailored to your goals.

They help monitor fund performance regularly.

They ensure optimal fund selection and rebalancing.

Regular plans through CFPs provide dedicated service and support.

Why Choose Actively Managed Funds?

Active funds aim to outperform benchmarks through expert fund management.

They offer higher potential returns compared to index funds.

Fund managers actively adjust portfolios based on market trends.

Ideal for long-term investors seeking growth.

Key Steps to Start Your Investment

Define your financial goal clearly.

Consult with a CFP for fund selection.

Review the chosen fund’s historical performance and portfolio composition.

Use SIPs for additional investments to benefit from rupee cost averaging.

Monitor your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your goals.

Final Insights

Investing in SBI Mutual Funds is a smart choice for your daughter’s education. Selecting the right fund category ensures growth and stability over 15+ years. Partnering with a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and optimal returns. Stay committed to your goal, review your investments regularly, and focus on long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am an NRI with an NRO trading account through Zerodha, but I cannot trade in F&O and Intraday. I have been filing my returns consistently though I have had no income in India in the last 10 years. But I have investments in MF, PPF, NPS, Medical and Life Insurances, ULIPs which were initiated while working in India and had tax saving options and it is being continued. I would like to trade in F&O and Intraday. My wife is not employed till date and has a regular savings account with the Bank which is Resident Indian normal account. She has never filed any IT returns since as there was no income and transactions from my side were only for family maintenance. My question is, can I open a regular trading account in her name so that we can do trading in F&O and Intraday? What are the necessary things which I need to follow for filing IT returns and how my investments can be helpful to file returns through her account. She doesn't have any investments except LIC & Health Insurance policies in her name for which I pay from myside.
Ans: Yes, you can open a trading account in your wife's name to trade in F&O and intraday; however, there are a few important considerations:

Steps to Open a Trading Account:
Convert Savings Account to a Trading-Compatible Account: Ensure her existing bank account supports trading transactions. If not, convert it to a trading-compatible savings account.
KYC Compliance: Complete her KYC process with updated details, including PAN, Aadhaar, and a valid address proof.
Link Demat and Trading Account: Open a Demat and trading account in her name with a broker that supports F&O and intraday trading for resident individuals.
Nominate a Separate Source of Funds: Ensure the funds transferred to her account are not directly linked to your NRI account to avoid legal and taxation issues.
Tax Implications:
Income from Trading: Any income generated from trading in her account will be considered her income. Since she has no other sources of income, her income from trading may be taxed as per the slab rate applicable to her.
Gift Declarations: Funds transferred to her account can be considered a gift. Gifts from a spouse are exempt from tax, but the income generated (through trading) will be clubbed with your income under Section 64 of the Income Tax Act.
Filing IT Returns:
She will need to file her own ITR if her total income (including trading profits) exceeds the taxable limit (Rs. 2.5 lakhs for individuals below 60).
Any clubbed income will still require an ITR to declare the source and details.
Investments for IT Filing:
Investments in her name (e.g., LIC and health insurance) can help:

Claim deductions under Section 80C for LIC premiums.
Claim deductions under Section 80D for health insurance premiums.
Alternative Suggestions:
Joint Investments: Instead of opening an account in her name, consider using investments in her name (LIC, insurance, etc.) to improve her financial standing without additional compliance.
Professional Advice: Engage a CA familiar with NRI taxation and clubbing provisions to ensure full compliance and proper structuring.
If you'd like detailed help with tax planning, compliance, or investment strategies, let me know!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |496 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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Relationship
hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |496 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
URGENT Hello kanchan ma'am Please help. I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: start by having a direct and open conversation with your prospective partner. It’s crucial to clearly communicate your feelings about the elder child staying at home, especially regarding the need for privacy and the impact of his aggressive behavior. Explain how this change affects your comfort and daily life, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a harmonious living environment.

In tackling the privacy issue, consider discussing potential adjustments to the home’s layout. Creating separate living spaces or setting up rules that establish personal boundaries can help ensure everyone feels comfortable. Developing a routine that allows for private time with your daughter will also be essential in maintaining a balance.

Regarding the transition to a small town, research the local job market thoroughly. Look for opportunities that align with your career goals and consider remote work options if they’re available. It’s also important to engage with the local community to build a support network. Attend community events, meet potential neighbors, and get a feel for the town’s environment. Having a backup plan, such as maintaining connections in your current city or setting aside a financial cushion, will give you added security should the move not work out as expected.

Blending families is a significant emotional and practical challenge, so consider family counseling as a way to address potential conflicts and improve communication. A counselor can provide valuable strategies to help everyone adjust to the new living arrangements and understand each other’s perspectives. To ease into this change, propose a trial period where you can test the dynamics without committing long-term right away. This will give you the opportunity to evaluate how well you and your daughter adapt to the new situation.

Lastly, it’s essential to address your fear of being alone. Reframe this fear by focusing on the positives of independence. Remind yourself that it’s better to be single and emotionally secure than in a relationship that feels overwhelming or stifling. Use this time to invest in personal growth, hobbies, and building a fulfilling life for you and your daughter. Keeping an open mind about future relationships is healthy, but it’s important to ensure any new partnership aligns with your values and meets your emotional needs.

By taking these steps, you can approach the situation with clarity, ensuring that any decision you make is grounded in what’s best for your well-being and that of your daughter.

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |742 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jan 18, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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