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Is My Relationship Doomed? She's Afraid of Her Family

Anu Krishna |1765 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by Shubham on Oct 31, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Thanks for answering mam, but situation is such rn I m not feeling good when she doesn't talk and she has became by positive supporter rather than distraction...also day by day our feelings are getting increased..but she fears her family and respect their image ...so do I but I can talk to my parents if want but she doesn't say the same. Also I m not attracted towards her by any picture or so but natural basic qualities that I wanted and I don't have any expectations neither she regarding anything , but fearful of future at this point..as we both are stuck in this complex situation. Even I m ready to go and meet her but she fears that it ll make her more weaker and so do I thinkso...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You had typed this:
She dont want any commitment she has told and she has lost faith and trust in god due to this she told she will compromise her marriage whoever her father will say...

And you still want to defend the situation and be with her? Kindly focus on yourself and again I say this: do not take on more at an age when you should be focusing on building your career and your life ahead...

All the best!
She dont want any commitment she has told and she has lost faith and trust in god due to this she told she will compromise her marriage whoever her father will say

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1765 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2024

Question by Prasad - Jan 08, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Ok ma'am...thanks..I am really observing her as she is in my office .day to day the face comes in front..but the thing is that she says that my parents are looking someone which they want and they wish ahe could marry with the person which they decide..but when she came in my life she told me that I am totally alone we can plan our future from here..but suddenly how can just a miracle happen??I was always planning for life with her...but now she is working in my office but she says we can't come in our relationship in future..so I am so much confused what to do ..I am executing the changes which I have promised her.but still I am not getting the clue whether to continue with her or not .she is totally on the closing...plz guide me

Ans: Dear Prasad,
Hasn't she told you that 'we can't come in our relationship in future'?
Which part of this sentence do you not understand? What more do you want her to say that will convince you that she is not interested in you?
That's why I had suggested that you become unavailable to her. If she has feelings, your absence may possibly make her want this relationship and it will be her turn to make things work...
But I get this feeling that you are in desperate space and want to hear that All is Well...No, it isn't for now...
Either with the space that you make will get her back in an appreciative way OR you will realize your own worth...either way, you will be better than what and where you are now...Hope this helps you get on the right path...

All the best!

Ravi Mittal |694 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 27, 2024Hindi

Relationship

So, i've started talking to this girl who was a classmate during my college. We've never talked all this time... But we started talking only after 7 years... She was currently working near my home town.. and i am working in a neighbouring state. It is 3 or 4months now.. we are talking and we liked each other...like.. we were in the same situations in life... Like.. we both lost our mothers.. and we are from the same community.. but the deadlock came here in the guise of religion. She belongs to one and i belong to another... Even though we both from same caste... We had a discussion before like.. even though we like each other... she cant move forward in relation because of religion. We had am understanding for sometime... But recently we had a discussion over the same topic and we had a fight... Now the girl and i are not fully talking to each other... Cause she was frightened on what could happen to us if we move forward in a relationship and it fails... Because we are not a stage to try and test things because we both are 29 and you know how it will be in family for a girl... So pleaseee give me advice how to save this relationship... Because i dont want to miss this girl at all. Please...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a tough spot, but if she has truly made up her mind not to proceed with the relationship, especially based on something as sensitive as religion, I cannot advise you to pursue her or try to convince her further. The only thing you can do is have one last open discussion where you express your feelings and the things you are willing to do to make this relationship work out. And for one last time, you can ask her, and only ask, if she would be willing to give it another try. If the answer is still a no, I am sorry, but it would not be wise to continue pushing this. If religion is important to her or an integral part of her family values, it would be selfish to ask her to set that aside for you.

I hope things work out for you.

Best Wishes.

Kanchan Rai |649 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi mam, im a lecturer since 5 years. Im in relationship with a girl from Srilanka. Most of our conversation was through mobile. She is a tutor in srilanka for 10 and below standard students. Now I'm 29, she is 27. Since 5 years we are loving each other. We hardly met. In Krishnagiri Tamilnadu I first met her in a Psychotherapy course, witch was about a month. We were good friends in the beginning of our relationship and at the end of a month course she was flying back to Srilanka, before she goes she kissed on my forehead, from then on im in love with the girl. For first few years we were happy in our relationship, but last two years onwards we fight almost every day. Both sides parents are fixing matches, both us are rejecting all the matches but we never shared with our families. Don't know where our relationship is going to end. Its not that my parents won't accept, but when my parents and siblings ask do you any one whom you want marry, or love some one I am not able to reveal to them. Many times I decided and planned and imagined to speak with my family but when it comes to reality im not able to speak. Other side she also is not revealing anything to her parents. Im rejecting the matches that are coming, she is also rejecting of hers. But both are not speaking properly now a days. Most of the time our relationship is filled with fights. Both are adjusting. Some time im feeling to stop the relationship and not to marry at all. I told her to marry as her parents say, and I don't want marry anyone. She is also saying me to marry some one and she wants remain single. But don't know what is happening between us. Im confused to continue or break up or marry her or not to marry her. Nothing is working in my mind. Recently my parents have brought a proposal who was my childhood crush. Suddenly I am indirectly telling her to marry to whom her parents give. She also getting good proposals but rejecting saying that she needs to work and earn money. Same reason I'm also giving. One more issue is she is tamilian of Srilanka and I'm Telugu from Andra. Both family members can't speak directly also. Unable to take any decisions. Kindly help me

Ans: The fact that you're not able to communicate openly with your families, despite rejecting matches on both sides, shows that there might be some fear or hesitation about fully committing to this relationship. Maybe it’s the distance, the cultural and language differences, or the struggles you’re having recently in your relationship that are making it difficult to move forward.

On the other hand, both of you seem to be stuck in a cycle where you're not happy but also not ready to let go. This might be causing even more stress and frustration, leading to the frequent fights. The decision to stay together or part ways is something only you both can make, but it sounds like there’s a lot of unresolved tension and unspoken fears in your relationship.

One thing to consider is having an honest conversation with each other, not about the fights or current frustrations, but about what you both want for the future. If you're both rejecting matches, it shows some level of commitment, but the real question is whether you both see a future together. Do you still love each other, or are you staying together out of habit and fear of the unknown?

If you both feel there is still something worth fighting for, it might be worth giving the relationship another chance by opening up to your families. This could ease the pressure you're feeling and help you both feel more supported. If, however, the love has faded and the fights have taken over, it may be time to re-evaluate whether staying together is what's best for both of you.

In any case, clarity will only come through open communication—both with her and your family. If you continue to stay in a relationship without making a clear decision, the frustration and confusion will likely grow. Take some time to reflect on what you really want, and then take the courageous step of addressing it with her and your families. This may not be easy, but it’s the first step to finding a resolution and peace in your heart.

Love Guru | Answer |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 22, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi ma'am/sir, I am 28 yr old man fall in love with divorced woman who is 31 year old. We are in relationship from last 2 years. My parents are opposing our relationship. We lived in same village. I meet her in my sister marriage from than I start talking with her. From that time we start talking and after few months we fall in love with each other. When I was with her I got happy. But after discussing with my parents they refused for our relationship and my mother start crying and saying if you are talking with her again then don't talk with us. I am only son of my parents. I don't want to hurt them and either her. What to do ma'am? Recently in our family one of my cousin brother do love marriage and their marriage was in end after 6 months. His wife want divorce

Ans: Why are your parents opposing the match? Is it only because she’s divorced? Do you know why she’s divorced, and how well do you know her? Have you spent a lot of time with her in person or is your relationship mainly on the phone or long distance? If you’re very confident of your relationship, go ahead and marry her anyway. Your cousin’s marriage failing is no reason why yours will! Most people in the world marry for love!

Latest Questions

Anu Krishna |1765 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi

Relationship

I am ready to stand against my parents for the boy I love, but he isn’t willing to stand up to his family. We are both Hindus but our customs, language and rituals are very different from each other. Since the time we started dating, I have tried to give up on my choices for the sake of our happiness. He proposed to me last year after dating for 12 years. I said yes. Now he wants me to convince his parents. He is 29, the eldest son of the family but he feels his parents will not agree for our marriage. His entire family is against us. His mother won't even look at me, forget sit down and talk. I told him we'll have a court marriage and live separate but he wants me to convince his family. If he doesn't take responsibility now, how can I expect him to stand up for me in the future?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you serious? He happily got into a relationship with you BUT now wants to hide when it's time to talk to his parents.
He's 29 and as a mature adult you must learn to understand that until marriage it's his responsibility to not just talk to his parents but also find a way to make you and his parents meet.
Instead, he chooses to hide or he's scared? Do push him gently into his responsibilities and if you catch him delaying talking to his parents, then understand that he has a personality that avoids conflicts especially with his parents. Do imagine what it can be for you once you are married into that house.
Have an honest chat with him; love is not always roses and candles...straight and honest talk is always better before taking that big step.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1765 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2026Hindi

Relationship

I don't share secrets with my husband any more. Though we were friends when we were dating, I've noticed he takes me for granted since we got married. He used to take so much more interest in talking and getting to know me. Now I’ve started keeping parts of my life, thoughts, and feelings to myself because I feel sharing it with him is pointless. Not because my partner is unkind, but because I don’t feel understood anymore. Why do men take their girlfriends seriously and wives for granted?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The courtship phase is far from the marriage phase. During courtship, certain parts of the self go hidden in the eagerness of impressing the other person. Now, this usually is done unknowingly BUT when realoty hits, it feels like you have been cheated.
Instead of feeling disappointed and assuming that you need to do the worst, why don't you create situations where you start sharing by saying: "I would love for you to hear this..." OR "It means a lot when I feel heard..."

Roadblocks aren't the end of the world; you just learn to navigate around it to walk on a clear path.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1765 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2026Hindi

Relationship

My daughter got married 6 months ago, that is in July, completely arranged marriage, both agreed happily. Now the problem is, my son in law is not touching her since first day, sleeping separately by keeping a pillow between them. Once he said to my daughter that he is not interested in marriage, career oriented, we all shocked. He could have said at the time of interview itself. Now he is saying that he wants to correct himself and taking couple therapy sessions. Now my question is, is this problem common or very rare? Will therapy useful? We are all including his parents are very much worried about our daughter's future, how long should we wait for his recovery? Please answer.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I do understand that you are worried for your daughter. Yes, your son-in-law could have stated it clearly during the initial meetings that he wants to focus on his career. But...
But I do believe Couples Therapy can help break the wall between the couple; hopefully if the therapist helps your son-in-law with what exactly is bothering him.
Let them go through a couple of sessions and then you can talk to your daughter on whether there is any change in their connection or not.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Mihir Tanna |1095 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Question by Rabindran - Feb 01, 2026Hindi

Money

In today's Budget is there any change in the taxation of LTCG on sale of immovable property

Ans: No change in it.

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2026Hindi

Career

I am a B pharm Graduate (batch 2024) from MET Bhujbal knowledge City but after my completion of B pharm, I didn't get any industrial experience or good job. even seems like I lost interest in pharma field but i want to pursue MBA and want to settle in abroad, can you please recommend me countries which accepts MBA in Healthcare graduates from India. Even MBA in helathcare is better or Pharma MBA............even suggestion of course which can create interest are most welcomed because i completely lost my interest to work with pharmaceutical companies. moreover, I am doing medical coding course right now how can that course be helpful for me, are there any aboard opportunities in medical coding ?

Ans: If you want to settle abroad, it would be advisable to do MBA from abroad. Identify the country you want to settle and check the courses available in that country that suits you. In India you can do Healthcare MBA or Pharma MBA from colleges like TISS, GIM, NMIMS, etc. You will have to write entrance exams for the same.

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CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Question by sundram - Feb 03, 2026Hindi

Career

My brother did mbbs from Kyrgyzstan but he didn’t pass fmge so can he do MBA in pharmaceutical management he did 12th and then he went Kyrgyzstan he haven’t any graduate digree from India he have 10th 12th and mbbs digree from osh state university Kyrgyzstan can he do MBA

Ans: He can do MBA from India. To do MBA from India you need nothave degree from India. You can apply as foreign student. Ensure your international degree is recognized by the Association of Indian Universities (AIU) if applying to certain public institutions, though most top private business schools recognize accredited international degrees. You will have to write entrance tests like CAT / GMAT ...

Reetika Sharma |524 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Question by sarvothama - Jan 06, 2026Hindi

Money

sir, I am 28 year old Engineer working in IT field for 6 years. Recently married and my wife is also working in a IT Company. I have started investment in MF since my first salary and at present total the corpus is 15 L and my present SIP amount is 60K. In addition I am having 6L in PPF, 8L in Bank FD, 15L PLI and 5L Health Policy. My parents are well settled. My portfolio is as given below. 1. ICICI Prud. NASDAQ - 3K 2. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap - 10K 3. Quant ELSS - 7K 4. HDFC Retirement Saving - 10K 5. Kotak Mid Cap - 6K 6. SBI Focused Equity - 8K 7. Bandhan Small Cap - 8K 8. Nippon India Multi Asset - 8K My investment time horizon is 20+ years. Please review and suggest changes required if any. With Thanks & Regards, S. Salvankar

Ans: Hi Sarvothama,

You are doing great with your iverall investments at such age. Early investment really helps you in the long run. Let us analyse everything in detail:
1. Make sure to have ample emrgency fund in FD or liquid funds.
2. You should have proper term insurance and health insurance for yourself and family. As your spouse is working, she should also have an independent term insurance.
3. 8 lakhs in FD - can be treated as your emergency fund.
4. 6 lakhs in PPF - not recommended as a=you must have your EPF being an IT Professional. PPF is just like EPF, hence make minimum contributions to keep the account active and close it when 15 years tenure is over.
5. Health policy - 5 lakhs >> insufficient keeping in mind rising medical costs. Increase it to a minimum of 25 lakhs family floater for yourself and spouse.
6. 15 lakhs PLI - continue.
7. 15 lakhs + 60k monthly SIP in mutual funds. Very good and you should continue. However, the funds chosen are not exactly great. Entire allocation needs a proper plan in alignment to your profile and long term goal. It is better to work with a professional to choose better funds for your 20+ years goal.
I will not recommend continuing your SIPs in - Quant ELSS, HDFC Retirement Savings, Nippon multi asset and Focused Equity fund.

Hence overall reallocation and distribution in required here.
Do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |524 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Question by Ashish - Jan 23, 2026Hindi

Money

Sir, I am a 44 years old male and have made following investments in Mutual Funds, which are as follows, please let me know if it is good to go: DSP India T.I.G.E.R. (The Infrastructure Growth and Economic Reforms Fund) Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 1,500) Axis Silver FoF Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) LIC MF Gold ETF FoF Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 500) SBI PSU Direct Plan Growth (lumpsum - Rs. 7,000) Aditya Birla Sun Life PSU Equity Fund Direct Growth (lumpsum - Rs. 6,000) I urge you to review my above portfolio as a whole and thereafter appropriately guide me whether I need to switch any of the above SIPs or stay invested as it is, particularly I am more worried about ‘Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth’ (keeping in consideration that my SIP becomes more than 1.5 years old with this Fund), it has generated negative returns more often, which now becomes my cause of concern, as a result sometimes I felt that I had invested in a wrong fund. My intent for the above investment is to create sufficient wealth, till the time of my retirement. Now, I seek your valuable guidance over the above, enabling me to reach to a decision. Thanks & regards, Ashish

Ans: Hi Ashish,

You have long 16 years till your retirement and proper guided investment can do wonders with your monthly SIPs.
Your concern regarding Nippon Small Cap fund is genuine but this is exactly how markets work. One cannot expect their money to double in an overnight. It needs patience and proper plan to generate even bare minimum of 12% annual return.

I see all the funds you invest in are direct funds. while direct funds are more preferred as they have lower expense ratio of about 0.5%, regular funds are better as they come with proper plan and guidance throughout.
Generating 2-4% returns in these types of direct funds v/s getting 12% return in regular funds - there is always an option.

However, continue with Nippon small cap, Parag Parikh Flexicap, and Motilal Oswal Midcap fund. Stop SIPs in other funds and work with a proper advisor to redirect these funds into better new funds.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |524 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Question by Srinivas - Jan 07, 2026Hindi

Money

My sip investment in sbi health care opportunities fund direct growth has given only 1.29%of growth even after 14months. Should I continue?

Ans: Hi Srinivas,

The fund you mentioned is a sectoral fund and these works like this only. It is not recommended to invest blindly in a random fund and lose your hard earned money.
Stop this SIP and consult a professional to start afresh. Go for a multi cap fund.

Or better work with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |524 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Question by Chidambaram - Feb 01, 2026Hindi

Money

Dear Sir, I'm 54 year old and My sons are 23 and 21 years old. I would like to know, in SBI Life Policies / any other brand of Life Policies, Term Insurance and Health Insurance. At present, specifically what are the best beneficial wealth policies, Term Insurance and Health Insurance Vs PPF, Vs MF, vs. NPS v FD vs Trading in the Share Market including ETFs, as well as with Sudden Death Protection, which suits for me and my both son's age and all of three income source, such as a salary of 6-8L /Annum. Pls.elaborate all these request with PROS and CONS on each segment for three of us including Retirement plan and policies/investments. .Thanks, from Chennai (1st Feb 2026)

Ans: Hi,

I understand that 3 of you come under salary bracket of 6 to 8 lakhs. And you want to know products suitable for you and both sons. Let us discuss pros and cons of each below along with other major necessities you should have:

- As a family, have a dedicated emergency fund of 6 months worth expenses in FD. If your monthly expense is 50k, have 3 lakhs FD and if monthly expense is 1 lakh, habe 6 lakhs worth FD. This fund will safeguard your expenses in case of any uncertain situation.
- As earning members, all of you should have a pure term cover of 1 crore each. Make sure to take proper term insurance and do not mix with any other rider / policy.
- Proper health insurance for family. Avoid mixing it with wealth policies and other policies. Buy proper health insurance for whole family. Can go for HDFC Ergo as it has the highest claim settlement ratio. Avoid going for cheaper premium policies.

Now, when these 3 requirements are done, start investing the surplus to meet your financial goals. Firstly, list all financial goals and invest.
- SBI Life policies - not recommended. Go for proper Term Insurance of Max Life or HDFC Life.
- Wealth Policies - not recommended as these come with high commission end products. It is always better to keep insurance and investment separate. One shall not expect insurance premiums as investment, insurance is always a cover against unforeseen risk and it should be kept like that.
Hence, do not mix your insurance with investment. Avoid all wealth policies and ULIPs and LIC policies.

For investment, choose the following:
- PPF - not recommended if you have an ongoing EPF.
- NPS - not for your sons as the amounts will be locked till 60 years.
- MF - recommended for all. you can choose from a variety of equity and debt instruments wrt your goals and risk capacity. It will generate upto 15% annual returns to meet your financial goals. Funds in MF is not locked and flexible.
- FD - use it only for emergency fund.
- Share market - not recommended. The way you will not google and cure yourself for an illness, same way you cannot google and invest. Take proper help.

You should work with an advisor who will understand your risk appetite and make an investment plan for your family.
Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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