Thank you Anu, I have anothre challenge. His work is still at a very nascent stage. We worked together for his growth, I fought at work to get him a comfortable stay. We are still working on project where we need to work together. I had committed earlier that I will be there for your project and help. Also, it is even difficult because his parents helps me out with certain stuff in personal life. I am unable to take him out of my life but unable to stay because of the mind game. How should I tackle this? The project he is working is a career making work, my idea and my hard work...I gave it to him thinking this will help him establish himself. He keeps telling that we are friends and that we can still work together. But I am unable to get over my anxiety and attachments. Please guide! Thank you

Ans:

Personal relationships do come in the way of our professional interactions, so it's important to have good personal relationships.

But, sometimes, if the other person does not respond, then it becomes a challenge.

You can have a candid discussion and try and resolve the issues. Else, you can approach your manager to intervene and help both of you to iron out the issues.

Talk to your friend about the good old days.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. My advice would be to move on. Yes, I realize that it is easier said than done but let's put things into perspective- first, you have no future with this man, and he has made it clear. Are you okay to keep hanging on to him while he builds his own life? I am assuming no, especially since you have a child. Second, what about your self-respect? He is directly telling you that this relationship is headed toward a dead end. Do you believe you deserve to be with someone who does not want to settle down with you? I believe you deserve better.

I am not blaming him because he made no promises. You are not to be held guilty either because you were in a tough spot and you grabbed the first emotional support you found. But the current reality is that he wants out. And convincing him to stay is not an option. At this point, moving on with your head held high is the best decision. If you want to accept his friendship, that is completely fine. But if that's too much for you, you can always decline it. I understand that working in the same space with an ex is difficult, but as long as you avoid interacting outside of the office and keep things professional, there should not be an issue. On the emotional front, I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. But this too shall pass. I strongly recommend you not to value yourself so low that you stop believing that you deserve a person who loves you back as much as you love him.

Best Wishes.