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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Someone is from Oman and very less known to me, has proposed my sister for marrying. He is also purchasing a land in Oman in my sister name. But i am confused and worried that how can one do this before marriage. He is coming alone for marriage as told by him their parents are ill and can't travel. He called my younger brother to visit Oman and showed his offices and told him that he is doing some webshop business. Please help and suggest me how to get more information about him so we could avoid any mishappning.

Ans: It's understandable that you have concerns about your sister's potential marriage and the person proposing to her. It's essential to gather more information and ensure her safety. Here are some steps you can take to get more information and make an informed decision:

Communicate openly with your sister: Talk to your sister about your concerns and have an open and honest conversation with her. Make sure she understands your worries and the need for caution.

Research online: Conduct a thorough online search about the person proposing to your sister. Look for any social media profiles, professional information, or any other online presence that may provide insight into his background and character.

Talk to your sister's suitor: If possible, try to have a direct conversation with the person proposing to your sister. Ask him about his background, family, and other relevant details that will help you understand him better. Listen carefully to his answers and observe his demeanor.

Verify his claims: Ask for documentation or proof of the land purchase in your sister's name. This will help confirm if the claims are genuine. You can also consider contacting authorities in Oman to verify the land purchase if needed.

Involve a trusted third party: If possible, involve a trusted family member or friend who can act as a mediator or guide during the process. They can help gather information, ask relevant questions, and provide a different perspective.

Seek advice from local authorities or legal professionals: Consult with local authorities or legal professionals who can guide you on the legal aspects of the situation and provide advice on how to proceed.

Consider a background check: If you still have concerns and doubts, you may want to consider hiring a professional background checking service to gather more information about the person proposing to your sister. They can help verify his identity, background, and any potential red flags.

Remember, it's crucial to approach this situation with sensitivity, care, and open communication with your sister. Ultimately, her happiness and safety should be the top priority, and gathering more information will help you make an informed decision.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2023Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am a 40 year old man (never married) who got in touch with a 39 year old woman on a matrimony site. On the site, her marital status was Never Married but as we chatted suddenly she told me about her first marriage that lasted for a month and now she has divorced that person due to dowry issue. I was taken back with this concealed information but continued to chat with her. One day, I happened to see a pic of her with her cousin brother on Instagram. There was a cake right in front of them that mentioned Happy Anniversary. I asked her about it. She first said it was for Birthday Anniversary. Then she said, the cake shop guy made a mistake and then she said that her cousin brother said 'Tumne bhai behen ka rishta ka ram naam satya hain kar di'. I'm confused now, is this cousin brother actually her husband only or cousin brother. After asking her about this, all she did was delete that pic from Instagram and she said it is her cousin brother only. I then asked her to show her divorce papers, she claims it is with her father in some locker and is confidential, so cannot be shared. She lives in Kolkata and I stay in Mumbai and to take things forward wrt marriage she wants to meet me at Kolkata but I'm confused with all this. Also, within few days of chatting with her she started calling me baby, she claims to have falled in love with me and also suggested we do foreplay when we meet. We've been chatting since 5 months on WhatsApp and I gradually have developed feelings for her. On phone we have spoken twice and we had a video call also once. Please advise on how can I proceed. Is she a fraud?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's difficult to figure out people even when you live with them for years...online connections are something else!

Now that there is a seed of doubt, your mind will not be at rest until you find ways of pacifying your thoughts. Do make that visit to Kolkata and figure out for yourself by meeting her in a public place so that there is no chance of anything going awkward.

Ask her all the questions that you have. And encourage her to ask you whatever she wants to as well. This will make it look not like an interrogation.
Also, in this meeting itself, place all your doubts about the picture and notice what she says and how she deals with it. My suggestion also would be to not rush into the physical aspect right now till you know more about her and her life. If her being a fraud is true, it will only complicate things as she might accuse of you being the one to initiate things physically. So make this trip about getting to know one another and if you are convinced that she is genuine, you may suggest that she can visit Mumbai the next time.

Make sure you give yourself time to make a decision. Online connections do happen; sometimes they are genuine and sometimes not! Which side of the spectrum is yours, you are going to have to figure it out...do just that...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu,I am 42 year old male and have been separated from marital relationship and i don't have children,since 13 years and living alone where my father and mother had passed away few years ago.I was searching for brides profile from matrimony websites and found a widowed woman who is selfemployed. I called and talked her. she is equivalent of my age.She has one son aged of 24.I was willing to marry her but she does not want to marry anybody rather she expressed her interest and consent to live in a cohabitation(Living together relationship).(She said that her son is a grown up boy and preparing for competitive exams and she loves him a lot,She added that it is not possible to convince him for marrying another person.I accepted it and said ok. Later on we had date and moved on.Whenever she come for a date she asks me to spend and buy apparels,asking me to recharge mobile,asking me to buy provisions ,watches and to pay water taxes of her house.I did it without hesitation and she asks me for gold ring and ear-studs.She is not having contentment and i feel that she is greedy and she does not shows any form of courtesy towards me and further she did not spend even a single rupee for me .I am worried that she is exploiting me.I was wondered and shocked that during a little discussion with her she said that she could move away from me at any point of time if she finds any other person whom she likes her.I was dejected.I said that i am not your Money wallet to swindle me.I am not ready to spend money to a girl who informs me that she will be leaving from me.I scolded her. Even when have planned to marry at that time the woman asks me that whether i am a dominating person and asking about the details of my earlier marriage and testing about my genuinity. Now the relationship has broken between us and i am very much worried that whether i have taken a correct decision or not from stepping away from her because whenever i like to see her she ask me to make surprises for her.In turn no love and affection is being received from her. Kindly advice me that whether i have taken correct decision from quitting her relationship or i have hurried a lot by taken a wrong decision. Please advice and guide me and do the needful in this regard.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have done yourself a huge favor by leaving her and the connection with her. When you started to have doubts about her being greedy was the time that you knew that she was just taking advantage of your kindness.
She was clearly never serious about this association from the beginning and spending your money and demanding more is a clear RED FLAG that she was never interested in anything long-term and that it was a convenient as long as you met her needs through money.
What more proof do you want? Are you now still worried about the fact whether you taken the right decision or not?
Kindly invest time and energy in people who nourish you and let you grow in all areas of your life. Be wise...

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |399 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Sir, my best friend is a divorcee with 2 kids nearing teens. Kids shuttle between 2 homes. This friend found someone through some app. Henis about 48 and she is 42. She told me that he is a gentleman but she gets intimidated hile talking to him as he is a billionaire with a private Jet and stakes in hotels, airports, infrastructure, companies etc. He is single never married and lost his parents young. They haven't yet met in 2 months. He speaks as if he is married to her and talks about a common future. We tried to do some research but there's not much available. His company name and some other programs that he attended is visible. I am unable to convince her that this doesn't seem real. But she says things about him with so much confidence. I think she is smitten either by his wealth or maybe the prospect of someone confidently saying he wants to marry her. I don't know the reality but think that let a month or two pass. Advised her against going to meet him alone and not to sign up for anything. What is happening what's your advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's great that you are looking out for your friend. You are right, it does seem too good to be true. You have every reason to be suspicious. And, I too would suggest not meeting up alone. This could easily be a scam or plot to dupe your friend. While we understand all of that, she is a grown adult and we cannot force her to stop seeing him. All you can do is continue advising her and offer to tag along, at least the first time when she finally meets this man IRL.

You can tell her that as the Founder of a dating app, I always urge users to be vigilant with people who portray themselves in a larger-than-life manner and suggest to never make any financial exchange or share sensitive information. You can also mention her kids' safety if that helps shake her.

I really hope she isn't being scammed though the possibility of that seems more than of it being real. Please be careful.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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