My sister's daughter is currently in 10th grade. She was very good in study earlier and secured good marks in her previous grade but now things are not good. The behaviors of my sister's daughter are very stubborn and weird. She secretly accesses her family member's mobile and chats with school friends (boys) and hangs out with them. She took a picture of herself while dressed inappropriately and shared it on social media. If any family member scolds her, she will cut her hands with a razor and declare that she will end her life if anyone bothers her. She attempted to harm both her younger sister and mother. For missing mobile case, case was registered in police station and mobile was found hidden by her. Although, we took her to the police station and were scolded by the officer, it didn't affect her in any way. Kindly suggest what should my sister do regarding this.

Ans: I can give you some pointers to check about the addiction to screen time.
1. How much time she is on mobile in the entire day.
2. Why is she liking the attention of senior male friends? ( How much time are we able to spend time with her - Are we always talking about working on herself?) The pressure on you can be tremendous but 3.I will suggest you to be with your child and be along with her and make her feel comfortable with you by being non judgemental for some time till she pairs up with you.
It's going to help her confide in you rather than friends. These type of children who need attention being their major function should not be given too much alone time. Replace the gadget with some thing which is equally reinforcing for her .
It can start gradually rather than doing too much and then not being able to meet your targets.
Can start with only 2 hours a day when you can spend quality time with her.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Deal with this very carefully as if you reprimand or object to this, she is only going to rebel even more.
Kindly involve her mother into this.
Encourage her to talk about it without judging her or instructing her on what to do. I am sure she is already terrified of the boy's threats of blackmailing.
Also, have you considered of reporting this to the cops? Most parents don't want to as they are worried about the consequences their daughters have to go through. But, how else can these 'creeps' be stopped.

With a lot of love and support from you, your daughter will regain strength to realize that she had made some poor choices and that she has the choice now to rework all of them to pave a better path to walk on. You don't have to tell her what to do as she already knows it. She is just scared...
Just support and love her; instructions can wait...though your anxieties I am sure is hitting the roof. But, remember, everything works when people are surrounded with love. Your daughter simply needs this right NOW.

All the best!

Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The virtual world is very exciting as it does not need any direct interactions with other humans and anyone can lose their way in this maze.
So, if you want her to be off gadgets, see that she is focused on sports or anything that will keep her active...as a family go on picnics, treks/hikes so that she realizes that being off the phone need not be boring and can be interesting as well..,
Having said that, she's at that age where her hormones can be all over the place, so talk to her more and listen to her more...she will possibly also talk to you about boys and learn from you on how to safely interact with them. Be open with your communication, you will see a change slowly!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/