Single Mom Seeks Advice: How to Explain Dad's Absence to 4-Year-Old?

Hello, I am Arvind aged 55, I have 2 kids, elder one is son ( age 26 yrs ) and is already in good job at IT sector in south India, Myself and my wife are raising our daughter who is 8 yrs younger to my son in North India. Our problem/Expectations: My son will not call any of us at his own, He hardly wants to share any part of his routine life, whats going on, untill we will ask him specifics. However, he prefers to just respond only when we initiate the call, txt etc. he would talk as much we asked in limited sentences, bare min txt like OK/Yes. Sometimes, many days would pass even without exchanging any call/txt/msgs- but it does not make him bother to know-hope everything is fine from his side. I mean we are not finding the warmth of son-parent relationship despite the fact that we are not keeping any expectation in terms of money, responsibilities etc. I have tried once/twice to explain that such behaviour hurts all of us. Do not know how to change such behaviour of ignorance, carelessness/avoidance. Pls advice.

Hi ! 20 years ago, I was under a lot of stress raising my two kids while my husband worked abroad. I didnt realise that I was being terribly insensitive to my teenage son's need for attention and understanding. I did not understand at that time that his stubborn behavior and desire to be alone and the visible signs of hatred towards me were due to lack of outward expression of love from me. I used to think that I had to be even more strict with him to correct him and to bring him up well, not by being soft or kind. I also beat him at times and compared him with others with the intention of making him improve in his performance. All mistakes on my part which he has made me realise now . Today he is married and has a child. He showers her with affection. He hates the sight of me and doesnt want to talk with me saying I am the worst mother any child could ever have. I know I must suffer for my earlier behaviour. Just sharing.

Hi Anu ji, I am 42 yr old single parent. I have a 10 yr old son living with me. My wife and I were separated when our son was 3 yr old and we recently settled our divorce. Immediately after our divorce, my ex-wife got re-married. Her husband isn’t willing to take my son in and hence she handed over his legal custody to me. She has moved on with her life and my son doesn’t feature in her list of priorities. I am more than happy to have him. During the last 7 years of separation, she did not allow me or my parents to meet my son, so we could not build a strong bond together. Now, it has been 6 months since my son has moved in with me. Its only me and him living together ATM. My parents stay in our ancestral village and are unable to stay with me. Though its challenging for both of us to discover and understand each other, it must be tougher for my son. He understands the fact that his parents aren’t together and hence he has to stay with either of us at a time. Sometimes, he does get emotional about this situation not being normal compared to his friends / cartoons / movies etc. He also misses his mother and often keeps quoting that “My mother does it this way...”, “Me and my mum used to do this / that” etc etc and I appreciate that. I am fine with him talking to his mother through WhatsApp and meeting her whenever they wish to. He is also close to his other maternal family members, and I do not have any issues with him maintaining that bond. Now the challenge is, my ex-wife and her family abuses and shoos me away every time I try to ask them about my son such as his eating habits, likes, dislikes, vacation plans etc etc. They also bad mouth me whenever they speak to my son. That poor little soul gets influenced and feels that its punishment for him to live with me. And I feel betrayed as I too have made sacrifices / adjustments in my career, relationships etc to be able to take care of my son. I feel like stopping his communication with his mum and maternal family, but worried if that would adversely affect him. Now I have also started to get angry whenever he speaks to his mum or maternal family and try not to vent out at him, but I sometimes I do. Please guide me to navigate this delicate situation and what should I look forward to in my life.

I am divorced and 41 year old with 13 year old son. Recently my son visited his father's place and got to know he remarried. Next day he told his grandfather to dron him to my place as he was crying constantly and not feeling good. Now my question is I a man hurts a woman physically and mentally , he attempted to hurt his own son when he was only 2-3 years old , how he can pretend to live happily and why ih trying to pour all his love and care after we divorced. I never tried to talk Ill about my son's father to him.