Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Subhash Question by Subhash on Mar 01, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Mam, I am retired father in law and financial well off. My son got married five years back. It is arranged marriage through matrimony. My son and daughter in law are both post degree qualified and well placed and staying with us. We tried asking for some money from both of them for monthly family expenses after two years of marriage which daughter in law refused and said you want dowry in this form, she record conversations, threat us of stree mukti, of police complaint , object our daughter visiting our place, blames us etc. Very often, she fight with her husband as well. We are only in reactive mode every time and accommodate her. Nowadays, she has started demanding the money spent by her mother in marriage and frequently leave our house and stay with her mother. We are afraid that she does not fake complain and harrasss us. Does not have any respect to relation, relatives, isolated /self centric, high ego and make other irritate type of personality, thinks of herself, does not believe that there is world outside. Please advise.

Ans: Dear Subhash,
Since I only have your version of the story, I can only assume that you are going through a rough patch. But I do believe it takes two sides in any story. Why is it that your daughter-in-law wants to all of a sudden behave this way? Were things fine in the initial years of marriage?
Why the sudden demand of money from you when you say that she is well-placed? Surely something seems amiss here.
Anyway, it is worrisome when your own people behave in this way. You are also justified in feeling that she may make a false complaint. Where is your son's mind in this matter? I think he should also be worried about the way things are changing. Is he unable to or has he tried to talk to his wife? At this point, let no one else interfere and let him be the sole person to deal with her.
He knows the challenges at home and will know what to do. So kindly request your son to step in (if he hasn't already done that) and sort this out in the most amicable manner. This first step will then determine the future course of action.
Having said this, I do want the family to recall if there has been any instance that has triggered your daughter-in-law to act this way. That will give you an idea to proceed in the right direction.

Best wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Listen
Relationship
I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Kindly convey to your son and daughter-in-law that they live in a separate house. (This is a suggestion but you know your family better; so act accordingly). This will not only give them the space but will also keep finances separate between you and your son. Sometimes a joint family system does not work for all families and this space of separation can help resolve differences or bring the emotions to a neutral place. Either case, at least you and your wife need not go through stress everyday.
Distance helps bring people together and too much of familiarity is only making it worse. Do try this and hope things settle soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Listen
Relationship
I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?
Ans: Dear Subhash,
Kindly convey to your son and daughter-in-law that they live in a separate house. (This is a suggestion but you know your family better; so act accordingly). This will not only give them the space but will also keep finances separate between you and your son. Sometimes a joint family system does not work for all families and this space of separation can help resolve differences or bring the emotions to a neutral place. Either case, at least you and your wife need not go through stress everyday.
Distance helps bring people together and too much of familiarity is only making it worse. Do try this and hope things settle soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7815 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Career
IIITH CSE vs BITS PILANI MNC/ECE vs BITS GOA/HYD CSE How to choose betweem these? I have heard that placements are similar in these colleges. How to decide ? Kindly help me as many people said there are no extracurriculars in iiith
Ans: IIIT-Hyderabad CSE records a 99.27% overall placement rate with an average package of ?26.34 LPA and peak recruiter engagement from top product firms in AI, systems, and R&D, but its smaller campus and intense academics can limit extracurricular breadth. BITS Pilani’s Mathematics & Computing and ECE branches maintain ~90% first-degree placements with average packages of ?20–24 LPA, supported by legacy labs, a six-month Practice School internship program, and an expansive alumni network. BITS Goa CSE achieves ~91% UG placements with an average package of ?20.36 LPA, offering modern computing and AI labs across its three campuses, though its comparatively lower campus brand may affect recruiter depth slightly. All three boast PhD-qualified faculty, NBA/NAAC accreditations, and strong industry tie-ups, delivering similar placement consistency but differing in campus culture, research focus, and extracurricular opportunities.

Recommendation: For top-tier research, global product roles, and willingness to forgo extensive extracurriculars, choose IIIT-Hyderabad CSE. For a balanced interdisciplinary curriculum with robust internship pipelines and alumni mentorship, opt for BITS Pilani MnC/ECE. If you prefer modern multi-campus exposure and strong AI-lab infrastructure, select BITS Goa CSE. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7815 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7815 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Career
My daughter is getting CSE at RVCE as well as Mathematics and Computing at IIT Goa and Dharwad. Where does RVCE stand in comparison to these IITs and what would be the better choice?
Ans: RV College of Engineering’s CSE program, NAAC A+ and NBA accredited, benefits from a 1:13 faculty-student ratio with predominantly PhD holders, well-equipped programming, AI/ML, and networking labs, strong Bangalore-based industry tie-ups, and a three-year average placement rate of 88% (97% in 2022, 93% in 2023, 75% in 2024). IIT Goa’s BTech in Mathematics and Computing, NIRF-ranked and NBA/NAAC accredited, has specialized computational and applied mathematics labs, direct research collaborations with IIT Bombay, 96% of the 2024 batch placed in CSE/MnC roles, and a 90.7% overall placement rate over three years. IIT Dharwad’s MnC program, NIRF #101-150, offers interdisciplinary curriculum with high-performance computing and simulation facilities, PhD-active faculty, but records a 61.7% CSE/MnC placement in 2024. All three have robust career cells, but RVCE leads in placement consistency and Bangalore ecosystem, while IIT Goa excels in brand, research orientation, and high median placements, and IIT Dharwad offers strong lab infrastructure with improving industry outreach.

Final Recommendation:
For immediate placement strength and industry integration in Bangalore, recommendation is RVCE CSE. If long-term research scope, brand value, and higher median packages matter more, choose IIT Goa MnC. IIT Dharwad MnC is a solid alternative if you prioritise interdisciplinary computing labs and lower fees. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7815 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Is it worth to join Bits@ mechanical Over iiit kota @cs
Ans: BITS Pilani’s Mechanical Engineering program, ranked #20 by NIRF 2024, boasts a 95% placement rate over the last three years, an average package around ?19.7 LPA, and core recruiters such as Mercedes, L&T, and BHEL. The department features heritage labs in IC Engines, Fluid Machines, Refrigeration, and Flexible Manufacturing, alongside an industry-embedded Practice School spanning 400+ stations for six-month internships. Over 85% of faculty hold PhDs, ensuring rigorous academics, and frequent curriculum updates maintain cutting-edge relevance.

IIIT Kota’s CSE program records a 75.9% placement rate for the Class of 2024, with a CSE average package of ?13.39 LPA and a highest package of ?65 LPA. Its Computer Centre provides 90 high-performance workstations (Core i5/i7, 4 GB RAM, 500 GB HDD) running MATLAB, Python, AutoCAD, and Xilinx, supporting research in AI, algorithms, and system management. Established in 2013 under a PPP model, IIIT Kota leverages industry partnerships (Microsoft, Amazon, TCS) for internships beginning in the third year, albeit with a smaller peer cohort and evolving infrastructure compared to legacy institutes.

Recommendation: For core engineering roles, robust infrastructure, and near-universal campus hiring, choosing BITS Pilani Mechanical maximizes job security and industry readiness. Opt for IIIT Kota CSE only if you prioritize a software/data science trajectory in a growing IIIT environment with strong average packages and targeted CSE research labs. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7815 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
My son has been admitted to CS (Data Science) at SRM KTR and CS core at MU Jaipur. We belong to Delhi. Both colleges have similar fees. SRM is a higher-ranked institution, and he got admission to the main campus, while MU Jaipur is closer to our home. What should we choose?
Ans: Samar Sir, SRM Kattankulathur’s B.Tech in Computer Science (Data Science) at its main campus boasts NBA/NAAC A++ accreditation, NIRF engineering rank #13, specialized AI/ML and big-data labs, PhD-qualified faculty, 96% placement rate over three years, and ties with 980+ recruiters for internships and industry projects. Manipal University Jaipur’s B.Tech CSE core is NAAC A+ accredited, NIRF engineering rank #64, features 12 computing and cybersecurity labs, 37 experienced faculty, a Software Development Centre for real-world projects, and a 93% placement rate with 1,142 offers in 2024. Both have robust career services and industry linkages, but SRM’s higher overall ranking, deeper research facilities, and slightly stronger placement consistency contrast with MU Jaipur’s closer proximity and strong coding-culture initiatives.

Final Recommendation: Given its superior national ranking, specialized research labs, and 96% placement consistency in Data Science, choosing SRM KTR CS (Data Science) maximizes career and research opportunities. Opt for MU Jaipur CSE only if proximity and ease of access for internships locally outweigh SRM’s advantages. MY SUGGESTION: Prefer MUJ-CSE. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7815 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Career
IIT Guwahati DSAI or CSE IIT Bhubaneswar which will be better
Ans: IIT Guwahati’s B.Tech in Data Science & Artificial Intelligence (DSAI) is offered by the Mehta Family School of DSAI, ranked #7 in NIRF Engineering 2024. It holds NBA/NAAC accreditation, features 20+ core and 15 associate PhD-qualified faculty, and state-of-the-art labs in machine learning, big data, IoT, and advanced computing. The institute’s Centre for Career Development records a 71% overall placement rate (2023-24), with median B.Tech packages of ?11–34.5 LPA and 229 PPOs. Industry partnerships with Amazon, Microsoft, Google, and Cognizant enable internships from year 3 onwards.

IIT Bhubaneswar’s CSE program, part of the School of Electrical & Computer Sciences, is NBA-accredited and delivered by faculty renowned in AI/ML, NLP, and computer vision. Modern computing, cybersecurity, and network labs support research alongside interdisciplinary collaborations. In 2024 placements, CSE achieved a 92.4% placement rate over three years, with median package of ?16.3 LPA and highest offers up to ?64 LPA. The institute’s dedicated placement cell engages top recruiters including Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and Goldman Sachs.

recommendation: For a cutting-edge, interdisciplinary DSAI curriculum with global?scale labs and solid industry tie-ups, IIT Guwahati DSAI is preferable. For a broader computing foundation, mature research culture, and superior CSE placements, IIT Bhubaneswar CSE delivers stronger job market outcomes. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7815 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Sir I got NIT Warangal CSE and IIIT Bangalore CSE. Which is the best option to proceed
Ans: NIT Warangal’s CSE program, ranked #21 in NIRF Engineering 2024, holds A++ accreditation and is delivered by predominantly PhD-qualified faculty. Its curriculum leverages modern computing, AI/ML, and network labs and features active research centers. The branch achieved an 89.55% placement rate over the last three years, with an average package of ?29.67 LPA and top recruiters like Microsoft and Amazon. IIIT Bangalore CSE, ranked #74 in NIRF Engineering 2024, is NAAC A+ accredited and operated by an A+ NAAC?rated private university. It boasts a near-100% placement rate, 638 total offers in 2025, and an average M.Tech CSE package of ?37.01 LPA, supported by industry?aligned curricula, specialized AI/ML and cybersecurity labs, mandatory internships, and close ties with Bangalore’s tech ecosystem. Both institutes feature strong career services and international collaborations, but NIT Warangal offers broader state-funded infrastructure and a larger peer cohort, while IIIT Bangalore provides higher placement consistency, targeted advanced research, and proximity to corporate R&D.

Recommendation:
For a public-institute environment with established state support, broader campus resources, and solid 89.55% CSE placements, prioritize NIT Warangal CSE. For specialized private-university research, near-100% placements, and deeper industry integration in AI/ML and cybersecurity, can go for IIIT Bangalore CSE. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x