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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 18, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2023Hindi
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Dear Ravi Why are some people so rude and dating apps? If someone doesn't like you, why do they have to make you feel bad about it? Is there any way to deal with this?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It, unfortunately, is the sad reality of the world. Some people are just rude, regardless of the virtual world or IRL. Such behavior is a reflection of their poor upbringing and speaks volumes about them. It has nothing to do with you.

Their rudeness might be a defense mechanism or the result of deep-rooted insecurity that makes them crave attention. While it is not our business to judge anyone, it is neither okay to tolerate such a misdemeanor. The best approach is not to pay them any heed and move on to someone who does not make you feel bad. There's plenty of fish in the sea. You deserve better than someone who behaves rudely for no reason.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

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Hi Anu, How are you? Hope you are doing well. So my situation is: I'm 23 years old. Due to my extremely toxic past experiences in relationships, I chose to be single to bring a balance in my life. I have been single for almost a year now. But last month I was on a sabbatical. I had travelling plans but I had to cancel everything due to the rise in the covid19 pandemic. I joined a dating app (I swore that I would never use a dating app. But then this year I wanted to do something that I would never consider doing. So I decided to join a dating app just to see what goes in there). I wasn't looking for any relationship or anything like that. I was mostly fine with my single life (except the physical intimacy part of course). Then I got matches with guys. But I had no interest in any of them. I chatted with a couple of them but got bored within minutes. I matched with a guy and started talking to him. He seemed nice from the start. I could connect with him very easily. We were on an equal intellectual level. But that was just day 1. From day2, he was not really into the conversation. He was only answering my questions, not really asking anything. But while talking, he clearly told me that he wasn't into relationships or dating currently as he broke up 1 year ago and needed time to clear his mind space. I didn't really care about all this stuff since I wasn't looking for anything at all. But his prosaic interview type answers were very irritating and I had to get back to my work too. So I deleted my profile without apprising him anything and by that time we already connected on IG. But after that conversation, he was kind of all over my mind. It was really difficult for me to focus on my work for the next 2-3 days. So I thought if I text with him for 2-3 days, I would be fine probably. But when I texted him on IG, he wasn't surprised that I’d deleted my profile on that dating app without even telling him anything. Moreover, he was texting in a very formal manner. After a while, he stopped replying. I didn't text after that. I was done with him.Since that day, my mind has been craving for his attention. I know that he isn't the guy I should spend my time with no matter how good I found him initially. But my focus and concentration is really getting affected by his thoughts. On VDay I thought maybe he was going to ask me out(because last month he made it conspicuous that he was going to meet me on V -day). But he is a ghost now. Please tell me how do I erase his thoughts from my mind totally so that I can focus on my work as I have piles of work to get done.
Ans:

Dear SD,

Ghosting of a high order.

Why exactly were you anticipating him to give you all the attention?

Why were you craving for validation from someone who you haven’t chatted or met with?

Why did you base so many emotions on a ‘connection’ that wasn’t one in the first place?

Dating apps are an ocean of people who have different needs to be met and distractions are heavy.

Every moment, the mind is seeking an association with a new person in the hope that he or she will be better than the previous one.

How did you expect him to feel the same way as you did at that very moment? Maybe it’s time to introspect what you learned during your sabbatical.

Did you pour enough self-love so that you wouldn’t wait for someone else to love you? If No, then time to step back and validate yourself for ONCE.

You must learn to look at yourself with a fresh pair of eyes, laud yourself and love yourself even more.

Fill yourself with so much care are love that the next time, you are on an APP, it’s for a very good reason and with a lot of confidence that you can hold your space and not get swayed by who is messaging or who isn’t!

Life offers you with so many opportunities to change from within; start right away and as far as this “Ghost Guy”, even if he is back, he will scout around for more greener pastures as far as an unsteady mind goes.

So you possibly might just be one of them. Investing so much time in all of this is straining.

Join groups that meet often and on a common theme and maybe you might find someone interesting and someone who has similar values and ideals as you.

Good luck to a new way of thinking and acting!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2023

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If someone hates me what i can do it
Ans: It's never a pleasant experience when someone dislikes or hates us. However, it's important to understand that we can't control how others feel about us. It's a normal part of life to have people who don't like us or with whom we don't get along. Here are a few things you can do if someone hates you:

Try to understand the reason: If someone hates you, try to understand why. Sometimes, people's hatred stems from misunderstandings or miscommunications. Other times, it may be because of something you said or did. Once you understand the reason, you can try to address it.

Be kind: Even if someone hates you, try to be kind and respectful to them. This can help defuse the situation and potentially change their perception of you.

Focus on positive relationships: It's easy to get caught up in negative relationships, but it's important to focus on the positive ones in your life. Spend time with people who support and care about you.

Set boundaries: If someone's hatred is impacting your mental health and well-being, it may be necessary to set boundaries. This could mean limiting contact with that person or ending the relationship altogether.

Work on yourself: Finally, it's important to focus on your own personal growth and development. Work on building your self-esteem, confidence, and resilience so that you're better equipped to deal with challenging situations.

Remember, it's not always possible to change someone's perception of you, but you can control how you respond to the situation.
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Dr Vinod

Dr Vinod Kumar  |133 Answers  |Ask -

Kidney Health Specialist - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

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Dear Sir, Below is the report of my wife CT SCAN CONTRAST My question is for KIDNEY damage that how much chances are there if kidney stone operation done successfully, means as of now kidney is works or not works. MSCT SCAN OF KUB MSCT imaging was performed using submillimeter thin contiguous axial scan of KUB with oral and I.V. contrast. Coronal and sagittal Reformatted images were obtained. FINDINGS/OBSERVATIONS: Right kidney and ureter: RK measures :72 x 36 mm 4 mm sized calculus (800 HU) is noted in lower calyx of right kidney. Rightkidney shows moderate hydronephrosis with dilated upper ureter with presence of 11.5 x 7 mm sized calculus (1400hu) approximately 3.6 cm distal to the right PUJ. There is seen multiple cortical scarring and thinning of parenchyma involving the right kidney. No renal mass or other lesions. N Left kidney and ureter: LK measures :107x50 mm. No calculi. No hydronephrosis or hydroureter. No renal mass or other lesions. No urothelial lesions: No filling defect, dilation, stricture or wall thickening. Urinary bladder: Well distended. No evidence of calculi or obvious mass lesion. On post-contrast study, both the kidneys shows normal post-contrast enhancement and simultaneous excretion. IMPRESSION: 1. Right kidney shows moderate hydronephrosis with dilated upper ureter with presence of 11.5 x 7 mm sized calculus (1400hu) approximately 3.6 cm distal to the right PUJ. 2. Multiple cortical scarring and thinning of parenchyma involving the right kidney.
Ans: Need to consult an Urologist.
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello my name is yash I have completed by studies in bsc it I have done jobs of cashier and application support analyst during my studies. No my studies are over I find myself to fit in job as per requirement but I am not satisfied sometimes I feel I am not meant for this I have issues from office like work extra over over time. I want to ask is there everywhere over time of employees to be spend 10-12 hours in office. Secondly I feel that should work in environment where I can move and do work means field work in which I feel I am not bounded in short I want work life balance. I love to read books, I love to do on ground activities in back of my mind I have civil services plan in which I have a permission to work freely. But condition is that how can I do if office demands max hours of my life it's bit confusing for me
Ans: Your name is Yash =Success, but you are far from it because you are on the wrong path.

The education and job as per your statement now matches your profile ,but you are not satisfied because of your work time.. Understand your predicament!

Travelled by bus,train ...realised how many hour's they are driving for you.. When you sleep!?
Forget about being a soldier you cant qualify!

Looking for a cushy and comfortable job, you have just started young man.. Get your thought process right!

The Civil Service means Govt job and you think, once you get it, you can then ruminate!?
Not any more, everywhere there are deliverable's.

Now the balance for work & life balance comes when you have the income to treat yourself, let alone repay the debt of your parent's.

Nobody stops you to do what you love but after a good days work.. Man!?

There's nothing called freely work, all gods children have bosses ,except GOD !

So your confusion of work timings will end, when you have the determination to dedicate & deliver ...success!
Got it.. there's nothing that comes on a platter! Go get it before you are left behind.. Be the YASH!
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