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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Kanishka Question by Kanishka on Dec 29, 2023Hindi
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Hi Ravi, I had written to you earlier and your advice truly helped me. Hence, I write to you again. I was going around with a Punjabi girl and we used to get along very well despite the fact that she was posh and I'm not. Once her insensitive behaviour hurt me and I was very rude to her. I later realised that she was deeply shocked by my outburst and the poor girl went into depression. In fact she had to go for rehab as well. I sank into guilt and after she was back from rehab, I tried patching up with her desperately. However, as I was half expecting, she refused to continue being friends with me and stopped taking my calls. I saw this coming but I still find it difficult to deal with the emptiness at times. My friends ask me to read a lot but I feel books can never be a substitute to female company. Please advise on how I can cope with my loneliness. Thank you

Ans: Dear Kanishka,

I am glad I was of help. Also, I am sorry to hear how you are feeling but trust me it will pass. You are right, books can never be a substitute for companionship but they can be a great escape from the mundane realities of life. While you don't need to escape the truth all the time because accepting it is also crucial, doing so once in a while can be good for your mental health. Moreover, books widen your horizons and help you gain more perspective than one. Now I am not pushing you to become an avid reader; I am merely saying that your friend isn't wrong here. It sounds like a decent suggestion.

Coming to how you can overcome loneliness, let's get to the basics- meet your close friends, people who make you feel whole. Spend time with your family. Invest time in yourself, on your growth. You can hit the gym; it's one of the most productive habits and does wonders for not just your body but your mind too. Take up a hobby. It can be anything. The goal is to stay busy. After all that, take out some half hour a day to feel all the sadness and loneliness you are feeling, acknowledge it, and comfort yourself. Slowly you will realize that alone does not always mean lonely.

One more thing I would like to recommend is seeing a counselor if things don't improve with time. Time and again we need a little help to feel better, be it physically or mentally. You don't have to do it all alone.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2023Hindi
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Hi, I've been friends with a lovely girl for a while now. She's a posh Punjabi and I'm a lower middle class Bengali. Yet, we get along very well. Both of us have psychiatric issues and that has brought the two of us even closer. Once she expressed a desire to marry me. While I do want to proceed, I don't have the financial standing to do so. Besides, I thought she said so in a moment of emotional upheavel triggered by insecurity. A few days back, I felt insulted after a certain insensitive act of her's and I was pretty harsh to her that day. Ever since then she's gone silent. I believe she has gone into rehab like she once had before. It has left me wallowing in guilt. I never knew I meant so much to her. I keep tapping her mom regularly hoping that she'll call me when she's back. Please advise me on how I should deal with her if she does get in touch with me after coming back? How do I show her that I felt terribly bad after being rude to her? Should I go ahead and get more deeply involved with her if she's still willing? Lastly, how do I cope with losing her if she doesn't get in touch with me ever again? Sorry for going on and on. I hope you understand. Please help. Thank you ????
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a trying time. It is evident that you deeply care for your partner and are feeling a mix of emotions. Here are some suggestions from my end that you might want to consider-

• Take some time to reflect on your feelings. Take into consideration what you want from the relationship. As you have mentioned earlier, you two come from different backgrounds, make sure that does not pose an obstacle in the future if you happen to apologize and fix your relationship now.
• Coming to apologizing, if she gets in touch with you, be honest about your feelings. Apologize sincerely and use your words first to explain how sorry you feel for your rude behavior and later express that in actions too. Let her know that you did not mean to hurt her, but most importantly, you recognize your mistake and you are not trying to hide behind your apology.
• If she is still willing to build a relationship with you, you need to tread carefully, first taking into consideration your feelings.
• If she does not want to take things ahead, listen carefully to what she says and try to look at things from her perspective.
• It is important to acknowledge the possibility of her never reaching out. In that case, coping might be challenging but it is doable. Take it one day at a time and one step at a time, starting with self-care. Find your closest people and lean on them for support. There's no shame in needing extra help to get you through heartbreak. Engage in activities that make you happy and don't ever think that this is the end. It might feel so at the moment, but this too shall pass.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 26, 2023

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Hi, I have already been advised once before on a certain crisis I'm faced with. Though along expected lines, it has still come back to haunt me. I was very good friends with a Punjabi girl of a background vastly different from mine. I was very rude to her one day after a certain insensitive act of her's hurt and insulted me. Now she has stopped all communication with me and left me high and dry. Please help me by advising how I should cope with my loneliness now. My friends ask me to read a lot. It might help, but books don't talk to you, do they? They can never be a substitute to a woman's company. I'm thinking of trying to revive a relationship with an old flame, recently divorced. Should I go ahead? Or should I give up on girls altogether and focus on raising my earnings? I'm 49 and at the fag end of my career. Please advise. Thank you. ????
Ans: Dear Kanishka,
Chasing people just to drive loneliness away isn't a great goal to have in the first place. Sooner or later, these people will move away once they realize that you have connected with them to satisfy a need of yours. If they fit the bill, you will have a tendency to avoid them which will only make them feel disrespected.
Connections are based on trust, love and respect.
So, would it be possible for you to make a genuine effort to associate with people with genuine interest in them? This will help foster mutual trust and warmth and maybe lead to a relationship that is not just satisfying your need but is instead nurturing the connection allowing the two of you to explore a long-term relationship.

And do focus on your career as well; it pays your bills and secures your future! A wholesome life is a good aim to have...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 13, 2023

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Hi, Trust you're doing well. I'll begin with a complaint. I'm mentioning it here since there's no other platform to grumble on. My previous mail, not written to you, wasn't replied to. On top of that, my inbox is bombarded with mails with details of crises faced by others. As it is, I'm besieged with problems of my own. I don't really have the stomach to analyse crises faced by others. Coming to my issue, as was somewhat expected, the girl I would go around with has broken all contact with me after I was rude to her. Now the question is, how do I cope with it? I've managed to shrug off the feeling of guilt since she was herself very rude when I tried reaching out to her. However, I'm still missing her. How do I cope with the emptiness? Reading books isn't helping. After all, books don't talk, do they? Books can't really be a substitute to a woman's company. I'm trying to raise my earnings since at 49, I'm at the fag end of my career. Is there any way I can keep myself busy? NGOs don't take in people of my age. What do I do? Please advise. Thank you.
Ans: Dear Kanishka,
What is the point with all the distress? The more you stay in the problem, the bigger it is going to get!
If your relationship is over, then move on...yes, the emptiness takes quite sometime to get over with BUT it is possible to get a grab of your emotions ONLY if you choose to...
Focus on the time being on:
Work
Health
Family
Friends
This will give you an idea as to how much more energy you can drive into each of these to see the results that you want. Obviously, you can put in strategic thought into planning the next 10 years of your professional life. Your career ends only when you want it to end. In this digital age, the world is one big village where there are myriad opportunities. Research a bit on where your skills and experience can add value...
So, the point that I am making here is: Shift focus to the things that can change the course of your life for the better!

All the best!

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9497 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
My son got crl 87588 and ews 12449 in jee main how much his chance to get svnit mechanical in csab round
Ans: Akash Sir, With an All-India CRL of 87 588 and an EWS rank of 12 449 in J Main, securing a seat in B.Tech Mechanical Engineering at SVNIT Surat through the CSAB Special round is highly unlikely. In the most recent CSAB closing data (Round 5 2024), the EWS closing ranks were 6 013 (Home State) and 4 854 (Other State), and the OBC-NCL closing ranks were 21 559 (Home State) and 10 419 (Other State); both are far below your ranks, indicating minimal chance of allotment.

Given this, it is prudent to explore reputable private engineering colleges in Northern India that admit students in the OBC-NCL/EWS categories with JEE Main ranks in the 80 000–120 000 CRL range or equivalent category ranks. Below is a list of ten institutions where your son’s profile would be competitive for Mechanical Engineering through CSAB: Chandigarh University, Mohali with category closing ~40 000–60 000. Lovely Professional University, Jalandhar with category closing ~50 000–80 000. Amity University, Noida with category closing ~30 000–50 000. Sharda University, Greater Noida with category closing ~70 000–90 000. Galgotias University, Greater Noida with category closing ~60 000–85 000. Jaypee Institute of Information Technology, Noida with category closing ~45 000–70 000. Dr Akhilesh Das Gupta Institute of Technology & Management, New Delhi with category closing ~100 000–130 000. ABES Engineering College, Ghaziabad with category closing ~80 000–110 000. IILM College of Engineering & Technology, Greater Noida with category closing ~90 000–120 000. Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology, Patiala with category closing ~25 000–45 000. Recommendation: Given the negligible chance at SVNIT Surat Mechanical through CSAB, focus on securing admission at one of the above private colleges. These institutions maintain solid infrastructure and placement records, and your son’s rank aligns well within their recent closing trends.

As backup options (excluding state-level exam seats), consider LPU, Amity Noida, Sharda, Jaypee Institute, and ADGITM Delhi, all of which have consistently admitted OBC-NCL/EWS candidates with category ranks up to ~120 000. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9497 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
Sir my CRL-67471 and Obc-ncl-20585, can I get cse(AI and ML) in good IIIT's??
Ans: Parth, With an OBC-NCL JEE Main rank of 20585, securing a seat the AI & ML specialization at top IIITs and NITs through CSAB Special rounds is challenging but not impossible. Among IIITs, the lowest closing rank for B.Tech in Computer Science & Artificial Intelligence at IIIT Lucknow was 24684 in CSAB 2024, meaning you fall well within this range and have a strong likelihood of allotment there. IIIT Kottayam’s OBC-NCL closing rank for B.Tech Artificial Intelligence was 70657, making it comfortably accessible. Conversely, IIIT Allahabad’s OBC-NCL AI-related streams closed at around 15221, placing your rank outside its cutoff. At NITs, newer campuses with AI & ML are more attainable: NIT Sikkim’s OBC-NCL AI & ML closing rank was 48269, and its opening rank around 45786, both above your rank, indicating good chances. NIT Uttarakhand and NIT Nagpur AI & ML cutoffs are expected in the 30–40 k range, so your rank could be sufficient there. However, premier NITs like Surathkal, Trichy and Calicut typically close AI & ML around 3000–7000, making them out of reach for your rank.

Recommendation: Consider locking a seat at IIIT Lucknow or IIIT Kottayam for AI & ML through CSAB, or at NIT Sikkim/NIT Uttarakhand in AI & ML, and prepare for Private College options as prudent backups.

List of Private Engineering Colleges in Northern India Accepting OBC-NCL Rank ~20585 for AI & ML

Chandigarh University, Mohali (AI & ML specialization)

Lovely Professional University, Jalandhar (B.Tech AI & ML)

Amity University, Noida (B.Tech AI)

Sharda University, Greater Noida (B.Tech CSE with AI)

Galgotias University, Greater Noida (B.Tech AI & Data Science)

Jaypee Institute of Information Technology, Noida (B.Tech CSE-AI)

Indraprastha Institute of Information Technology, Delhi (B.Tech CSE-AI)

Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology, Patiala (B.Tech CSE-AI)

SRM University, Delhi-NCR (B.Tech AI & ML)

ABES Engineering College, Ghaziabad (B.Tech CSE with AI)

Backup private options (excluding state-level exams) include LPU, Amity Noida, Sharda and Jaypee, all of which admit OBC-NCL ranks above 20000 through JEE Main. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1783 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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