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Traumatized by Family, Fearful of Marriage at 32: What Should I Do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I have been physically as well as mentally been tortured by the men in my family and due to this reason I don't want to marry as I don't want to go through that sort of torture all over again.What should I do I am soon going to turn 32.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You do nothing expect work on the belief: I don't want to do through that torture again.
It's not a fact and it is not the truth. Yes, you have been through but that does not mean that you will go through it always.
So, work on this so that you give yourself a chance at better relationships. Just because a few men did not value you, that does not mean all men are the same.
Start to value and love yourself more and there might be good chance that someone that deserves the woman that you are will come along.
So, hold onto to a better belief and then if you still don't want to marry, then it's a choice made after you have changed the way your mind thinks otherwise you will regret it someday that you did not work on your belief and made a hasty decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2022

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Hi Anu I am 30 years old. I have done LLB and was not interested to practice in court so I tried to get a private job but I didn't get any. Then I decided to start preparing for a government job but I missed it. I started to doubt myself. I even had suicidal thoughts this was started when I was very little something happened to me when I was 16 since then I tried to kill myself and also tried to get involved with one of my friends in college. He liked me so much so we started having relationship. When intimacy started I became nervous and afraid. It is like itching. I want to run and hide in a safe place. He was very firm and honest and humble but didn't work out. After that so many proposals came. I declined. Now my family wants me to marry. I don't know if the husband would understand and give me some time to get involved with him. I don’t know what life after marriage would be. I am a girl with absolutely no achievement and am not proud of anything in my life. My parents are disappointed in me but they never show. What should I do? Pls do not disclose this
Ans:

Dear JV,

It’s possibly the incident that happened to you (which I understand that you haven’t shared here) is preventing you from having a fulfilling life.

I can only say that the incident happened in the past, but you are living it even now.

You were a victim in that incident, but to continue to play the victim even now is to give your power away.

How can you be happy by giving your inner power away every day and every moment?

Reclaim your life.

What’s happened can be blurred by moving away from that incident and reminding yourself that you are far away from the past and in the NOW.

  • Be grateful to what you have in the present
  • Make a list of your strengths
  • Write down your goal clearly by stating by when you want to achieve it

Remember bringing your past into the current time robs you of any goodness; professionally or personally.

So, to see something change, change the way you feel about your past.

Step out of the victim mode and become a person who has the power to change things at will.

I am sure you want to see how this pans out for you.

So, what are you waiting for? Step up and bring that newness of thought into your life.
All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
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My family is giving me traditional medicine, because i did not want to get married. I have already turned down 2 arranged marriage saying i should be stable in finance first, but they think i am possesed. And if i said i won't take medicine, my mom threatens me "i should pack my bag and leave the house". The thing is i work with dad and live with my family and i do not get paid. The worst thing is i spend most of my life at work, i don't even have a time for myself. Though i try to bring new ideas and help in work, I see the resentment in his eyes that says "you should just get married. I don't even have a time for myself.My oldest sister was married for a year and she was sick hates it deeply. She started healing after her divorce. It is big issue, we don't even talk about that event."What should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
In situations like these, it's common for experts to suggest Family Therapy as the entire family needs to clear out what they are holding onto as it seems to be affecting someone else and then the cycle and loop seems to be going on and on...
I don't know if your parents will be willing to do something like this as the first step is to acknowledge that there is something amiss and take responsibility for it...
Having age old beliefs and superstitions and treating you for being 'normal' suggests a lot of unwanted influence on your parents! If it helps, move out of home for sometime to discover yourself, get a paying job, so that it helps you gain confidence and also your parents will learn to value you for who you are without forcing their opinions and beliefs on you.
Sometimes to find ourselves, we need to cut ourselves from what is comfortable to us.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 20, 2024
Relationship
I had a one year relationship with a boy.We decided that to be a temporary relationship as I belong to orthodox family.He also agreed for that.Latet on I am engaged to another boy.I told him that we need to stop this because I am engaaa now .He asked me to continue a month and we will break up or else I will send our picture to my fiance and family.I agreed for that.It continued upto 3 months.I am constantly being blackmailed by him everyday to listen and do what he says or else he will file a case on me for cheating him.But he came to my engagement also.He is now asking to be in the relationship until October as my marriage is in November.I said this is impossible I can't be like this let's break up .He is not agreeing for this and blackmailing me again that if I go against him he will break my marriage.I don't know what to do .I am extremely scared and having panic attacks and lose intrest in my work too.Please help me find a solution for this.I have also tried to end my life two times.I have a single mother.Thats the reason stopping me to endy life .Please help me..
Ans: First and foremost, I want you to know that your safety and well-being come first. You’ve mentioned having panic attacks and even considering ending your life, which shows how deeply this situation is affecting you. Please try to talk to someone you trust—a close friend or family member, or even a professional therapist—because having someone to share your feelings with will help ease the burden you're carrying right now.

The fear of him ruining your marriage is real to you, but it’s important to realize that no one has the right to manipulate or blackmail you into staying in a relationship, especially when you’ve clearly told him you want to end things. If he’s threatening you with revealing pictures or damaging your reputation, remember that what he’s doing is not just emotionally abusive, but also potentially illegal. If you feel safe doing so, you could consider seeking advice from a legal professional who can help you understand your rights and what actions can be taken to protect you from further threats.

I know it feels impossible right now, but staying under his control will only continue to hurt you. It's essential to break away from the cycle of fear he’s created. You’ve shown strength by reaching out, and that’s the first step toward reclaiming your peace of mind. Even though it’s scary, letting go of the fear of what might happen and standing up for yourself is key. Surround yourself with support, and don’t face this alone—you deserve to live free from fear and manipulation.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9513 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
Career
My son got in mhcet 99.53 & jee mains 97.69 in coep & Pict which branch I can get
Ans: With a 99.53 percentile in MHT CET and 97.69 percentile in JEE Main, your son is well-positioned for several strong engineering branches at College of Engineering Pune (COEP) and Pune Institute of Computer Technology (PICT), although Computer Engineering (CSE) at both institutes is highly competitive. For COEP, the 2025 MHT CET closing percentiles for Computer Engineering and Electronics & Telecommunication were 99.85 and 99.71, meaning your son closely qualifies for branches like Mechanical, Electrical, Civil, Instrumentation, and possibly Robotics & AI, but is slightly below typical CSE and ENTC cutoffs. At PICT, the 2025 general category cutoff for CSE is around 99 percentile, so your son is just within reach for Information Technology or Electronics & Telecommunication, with CSE being borderline. Both institutes are highly ranked, NBA/NAAC accredited, have excellent faculty, modern infrastructure, strong placement records above 90% in recent years, and robust industry links fostering research and internships.

Recommendation: Prioritize CSE, IT, or ENTC at PICT if available, for a tech-centric environment and high placements, or choose Mechanical, Electrical, Instrumentation, or Robotics & AI at COEP, leveraging its outstanding reputation and campus life. List all relevant preferences during counselling to maximize your options, as both institutions offer excellent learning, infrastructure, and career outcomes for core branches. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9513 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
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My son has got svnit surat cse branch through Josaa counselling. we are more interested in mnit jaipur, is it a wise decision if we switch to Ai and data science branch or electronics and communication branch in mnit jaipur if we get that in csab round
Ans: Switching from Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) at SVNIT Surat to either the Artificial Intelligence and Data Science or Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) branches at MNIT Jaipur through CSAB counselling involves weighing critical factors such as accreditation, placements, faculty strength, infrastructure, research, and exposure opportunities. MNIT Jaipur is a top-tier NIT accredited by NAAC (A) and NBA for multiple branches, ranked 43rd in NIRF 2024 and consistently within India’s top 50 engineering institutes, with substantial research activity in areas including AI, data science, and electronics. The AI and Data Science program has a well-structured curriculum aligned with contemporary industry trends and witnessed an average package of ?12.4L with about 75% placement in its initial years, while ECE placements over the last cycle consistently exceeded 85% with the highest offers above ?30LPA and reputed core as well as IT sector recruiters. Modern infrastructure at MNIT Jaipur includes advanced labs, extensive research centres, and holistic campus facilities.

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Recommendation: Prioritize SVNIT Surat CSE for its consistently high placement rate and average package if pure CSE and early career outcomes are your primary focus. Opt for MNIT Jaipur AI and Data Science if your son aspires to specialize in AI with versatile skill sets at a higher-ranked, research-oriented campus. The ECE option at MNIT Jaipur offers balanced career prospects and exposure to both core electronics and IT roles, making it an excellent alternative to CSE. Both MNIT branches are highly reputable, but unless your son has a distinct passion for AI/Data Science or ECE, the career trajectory and placement outcomes of SVNIT Surat CSE remain the strongest in the present landscape. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9513 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

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Respected Sir, my son has provisionally secured admission in the Integrated Artificial Intelligence program at VIT Bhopal, and in Core Computer Science and Engineering at Amity University Gwalior and LNCT Bhopal (Main Campus). His JEE Main CRL rank is above 100,000. Based on this, kindly suggest which option would be the best, and what should we do regarding CSAB counseling."
Ans: Among the available options for your son—VIT Bhopal’s Integrated Artificial Intelligence, Core Computer Science and Engineering at Amity University Gwalior, and LNCT Bhopal Main Campus—each offers distinctive program strengths, but they differ in national standing, academic exposure, and industry integration. VIT Bhopal’s five-year Integrated M.Tech. in Artificial Intelligence delivers a dual-degree program emphasizing hands-on experience, advanced AI/ML curriculum, and robust engagement with research, capstone projects, and internships. The program’s ties with leading tech companies provide significant project and employment exposure, and its campus boasts modern computing facilities and collaborative industry events. Amity University Gwalior’s B.Tech CSE, NAAC ‘A’ grade accredited and ranked in NIRF 2024 (#201-300), is known for its industry-oriented curriculum with specializations in AI, ML, cyber security, and more, placing strong emphasis on internships and skill development; the placement cell has maintained about 80–90% placement rates in the CSE branch in recent years, with access to major recruiters and a vibrant campus environment. LNCT Bhopal, one of central India’s most established private technical institutes, offers a competitively priced B.Tech CSE program that aligns closely with core industry requirements, providing collaborations with technology majors such as Oracle and IBM, and consistent placement rates around 75–85%, with the advantage of large annual intake and an expansive recruiter network.

Regarding CSAB counselling for JEE Main CRL above 100,000, the likelihood of securing CSE or top branches in NITs, IIITs, or GFTIs is extremely low, as the most recent cutoffs for even newer or remote campuses in CSAB special rounds have tended to close well below the 100,000 mark for CSE, with most NITs and IIITs closing their CSE branches under 60,000–70,000. Some peripheral GFTIs or newer IIITs may admit at higher ranks, but offerings are typically in lower-demand streams or less central locations, and competition remains fierce for computer science-based programs. However, CSAB remains an avenue for backup exploration and should still be attempted until the final rounds, in case of changes in seat availability or candidate withdrawal.

Recommendation: Prioritize VIT Bhopal’s Integrated Artificial Intelligence for its cutting-edge interdisciplinary focus, advanced learning pathways, and research-driven orientation, offering future-ready skills in a rapidly expanding domain. Next, consider Amity University Gwalior’s CSE for its NIRF ranking, strong campus placements, and multiple specialization tracks, especially if your son prefers a pure computer science degree in a polished urban campus. LNCT Bhopal’s CSE should be the third choice, valued for its affordability, solid placement record, and breadth of industry connections within central India. Simultaneously, participate in CSAB special rounds but keep expectations realistic about CSE/IT options, making early decisions on private college premium seats as soon as possible for best outcomes. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9513 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
Respected Sir, my son has provisionally secured admission in the Integrated Artificial Intelligence program at VIT Bhopal, and in Core Computer Science and Engineering at Amity University Gwalior and LNCT Bhopal (Main Campus). His JEE Main CRL rank is above 100,000. Based on this, kindly suggest which option would be the best, and what should we do regarding CSAB counseling.
Ans: Among the available options for your son—VIT Bhopal’s Integrated Artificial Intelligence, Core Computer Science and Engineering at Amity University Gwalior, and LNCT Bhopal Main Campus—each offers distinctive program strengths, but they differ in national standing, academic exposure, and industry integration. VIT Bhopal’s five-year Integrated M.Tech. in Artificial Intelligence delivers a dual-degree program emphasizing hands-on experience, advanced AI/ML curriculum, and robust engagement with research, capstone projects, and internships. The program’s ties with leading tech companies provide significant project and employment exposure, and its campus boasts modern computing facilities and collaborative industry events. Amity University Gwalior’s B.Tech CSE, NAAC ‘A’ grade accredited and ranked in NIRF 2024 (#201-300), is known for its industry-oriented curriculum with specializations in AI, ML, cyber security, and more, placing strong emphasis on internships and skill development; the placement cell has maintained about 80–90% placement rates in the CSE branch in recent years, with access to major recruiters and a vibrant campus environment. LNCT Bhopal, one of central India’s most established private technical institutes, offers a competitively priced B.Tech CSE program that aligns closely with core industry requirements, providing collaborations with technology majors such as Oracle and IBM, and consistent placement rates around 75–85%, with the advantage of large annual intake and an expansive recruiter network.

Regarding CSAB counselling for JEE Main CRL above 100,000, the likelihood of securing CSE or top branches in NITs, IIITs, or GFTIs is extremely low, as the most recent cutoffs for even newer or remote campuses in CSAB special rounds have tended to close well below the 100,000 mark for CSE, with most NITs and IIITs closing their CSE branches under 60,000–70,000. Some peripheral GFTIs or newer IIITs may admit at higher ranks, but offerings are typically in lower-demand streams or less central locations, and competition remains fierce for computer science-based programs. However, CSAB remains an avenue for backup exploration and should still be attempted until the final rounds, in case of changes in seat availability or candidate withdrawal.

Recommendation: Prioritize VIT Bhopal’s Integrated Artificial Intelligence for its cutting-edge interdisciplinary focus, advanced learning pathways, and research-driven orientation, offering future-ready skills in a rapidly expanding domain. Next, consider Amity University Gwalior’s CSE for its NIRF ranking, strong campus placements, and multiple specialization tracks, especially if your son prefers a pure computer science degree in a polished urban campus. LNCT Bhopal’s CSE should be the third choice, valued for its affordability, solid placement record, and breadth of industry connections within central India. Simultaneously, participate in CSAB special rounds but keep expectations realistic about CSE/IT options, making early decisions on private college premium seats as soon as possible for best outcomes. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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