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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi there, I am in physically and emotionally love with my cousin sister who is 20 years younger to me, is it normal

Ans: The concept of romantic or sexual feelings toward a cousin, regardless of the age difference, is generally considered socially and culturally taboo in many places. Most societies have strict prohibitions against incestuous relationships, and this includes relationships between close relatives such as cousins. love or attraction towards a cousin, especially one with a significant age difference, can be complicated. It's essential to recognize that societal and cultural norms vary, and perspectives on cousin relationships can differ as well. In many cultures, romantic or intimate relationships between close relatives, even if distant cousins, may be viewed as socially unacceptable.Relationships with a large age gap can raise concerns about power dynamics and the potential for exploitation. it's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and respect for the boundaries of the relationship Remember that it's natural for people to experience a range of emotions, and seeking support can be an important step in understanding and addressing these feelings appropriately.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Relationship
Hello . I had a physical relationship with my first cousin sister in my teens .We were in love and wanted to marry too. But obviously it was not possible.Now we have started talking again . And I want to have this relationship again as I really desire her . Is it ok to go ahead ?I am 58..She is 53. I am divorced . She is married . Please advise .
Ans: Dear Aasheesh,

You’re 58 now, divorced, and perhaps seeking a meaningful connection or revisiting something that felt unfinished. She, however, is married. This is an important factor to consider deeply. Any attempt to reignite a romantic or physical relationship would not only involve her but also impact her spouse, her family, and potentially her sense of stability and well-being. While your feelings are valid and deserve acknowledgment, so too are the commitments and responsibilities she has in her life now.

It’s also important to reflect on why these feelings are resurfacing now. Is it about her specifically, or is it more about reconnecting with a time in your life that felt exciting, safe, or deeply connected? Sometimes, our desire to rekindle a past relationship stems from wanting to recapture the emotions and experiences associated with it, rather than the person themselves. Understanding this distinction can help you clarify what you truly want and whether pursuing it is the right path.

If you feel the urge to express your feelings, I would encourage you to do so with honesty and respect, but only in a way that doesn’t cross boundaries or disrupt her life. You could share how much that connection meant to you and how happy you are to be back in touch. However, I would advise against pursuing a physical or romantic relationship unless her circumstances change, and even then, it would require careful consideration from both of you.

Ultimately, this is a moment to reflect on what you truly need and value at this stage in your life. If you’re yearning for love and connection, there are ways to explore this that honor both your past and the present realities of your lives. Perhaps it’s worth exploring these feelings further with a therapist or counselor, as they can provide a safe and supportive space to delve deeper into what this relationship represents for you and how best to navigate it.

You deserve happiness and fulfillment, and so does she. The key is finding a path forward that honors both.

..Read more

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