Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi there, I am in physically and emotionally love with my cousin sister who is 20 years younger to me, is it normal

Ans: The concept of romantic or sexual feelings toward a cousin, regardless of the age difference, is generally considered socially and culturally taboo in many places. Most societies have strict prohibitions against incestuous relationships, and this includes relationships between close relatives such as cousins. love or attraction towards a cousin, especially one with a significant age difference, can be complicated. It's essential to recognize that societal and cultural norms vary, and perspectives on cousin relationships can differ as well. In many cultures, romantic or intimate relationships between close relatives, even if distant cousins, may be viewed as socially unacceptable.Relationships with a large age gap can raise concerns about power dynamics and the potential for exploitation. it's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and respect for the boundaries of the relationship Remember that it's natural for people to experience a range of emotions, and seeking support can be an important step in understanding and addressing these feelings appropriately.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Relationship
Hello . I had a physical relationship with my first cousin sister in my teens .We were in love and wanted to marry too. But obviously it was not possible.Now we have started talking again . And I want to have this relationship again as I really desire her . Is it ok to go ahead ?I am 58..She is 53. I am divorced . She is married . Please advise .
Ans: Dear Aasheesh,

You’re 58 now, divorced, and perhaps seeking a meaningful connection or revisiting something that felt unfinished. She, however, is married. This is an important factor to consider deeply. Any attempt to reignite a romantic or physical relationship would not only involve her but also impact her spouse, her family, and potentially her sense of stability and well-being. While your feelings are valid and deserve acknowledgment, so too are the commitments and responsibilities she has in her life now.

It’s also important to reflect on why these feelings are resurfacing now. Is it about her specifically, or is it more about reconnecting with a time in your life that felt exciting, safe, or deeply connected? Sometimes, our desire to rekindle a past relationship stems from wanting to recapture the emotions and experiences associated with it, rather than the person themselves. Understanding this distinction can help you clarify what you truly want and whether pursuing it is the right path.

If you feel the urge to express your feelings, I would encourage you to do so with honesty and respect, but only in a way that doesn’t cross boundaries or disrupt her life. You could share how much that connection meant to you and how happy you are to be back in touch. However, I would advise against pursuing a physical or romantic relationship unless her circumstances change, and even then, it would require careful consideration from both of you.

Ultimately, this is a moment to reflect on what you truly need and value at this stage in your life. If you’re yearning for love and connection, there are ways to explore this that honor both your past and the present realities of your lives. Perhaps it’s worth exploring these feelings further with a therapist or counselor, as they can provide a safe and supportive space to delve deeper into what this relationship represents for you and how best to navigate it.

You deserve happiness and fulfillment, and so does she. The key is finding a path forward that honors both.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |353 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Career
Sir I am feeling very uncertain about my career, i am very much interested in medical field, i gave my HS in 2024, this is my 1st drop for neet, i tried a lot but due to family issues and negativity i couldnot do well, neet is jst after 5days , but my syllabus not yet done, mock test are not good, but still i want to pursue medical field ans study in a government medical college, i know where my preparation was lagging{my class 11 12 were weak, those who taught me they all jst told m,e "u cant do anything " and leave and never used to teach properly but i did everything by my own , and then took drop but i how to prepare in a coaching class i didnt know all network isuues for almost 6months ,but i keep on doing and now i am standing in a uncertain phase where i still want to become a doctor, i dont have anproblem in studying those again but the problem is what others will say , its like a fear, as even though my parents enrolled in a coaching online previous year but they also sometimes used to say that i should have also enrolled i a college, its a fear, so my question is this path really for me? should i take a partial drop and go for neet 2026 too, {dob: 14/10/2005}.....i feel like hopeless , but still want to follow my dreams, is this possible?
Ans: Hi,

Before I address your query, please avoid mentioning your date of birth on social media; it's not necessary at this point. However, I noticed that some other details are missing.

In addition to the educational concerns, it seems like you may have a bit of a psychological issue in that you tend to worry excessively about others. This mentality is quite common in our country. Prior to the NEET exam, entry into the medical field, specifically for MBBS and BDS, was mainly reserved for aspirants with high marks. Additionally, those with significant wealth could gain admission through management quotas or at times via NRI quotas. However, the situation has changed completely after the introduction of NEET.

As you know, the major advantage of NEET is that the marks aspirants score in their HSC examinations are now less relevant. Candidates from any part of the country, of any category or state, and even those taking the exam for a second time can attempt NEET, regardless of their HSC performance. If aspirants have talent, they can succeed in NEET, which provides a standardized syllabus across the nation. So, even if you are currently struggling with your HSC studies, you can still perform well on the NEET.

Apart from percentile scores, various factors will influence admission, including community status, creamy or non-creamy layer, physical challenges, and more.

Therefore, NEET is the best solution for aspirants, and you can take the exam as many times as you need.

There are no barriers to preparing for the exam, so please go ahead.

You mentioned that you feel weak in the subject and have difficulty concentrating. I suggest starting yoga and meditation. By practicing these, you'll be able to relieve stress and work towards achieving your goals.

Regarding your desire to enter the medical field (I believe you want to become a doctor), is that correct?

If so, in addition to MBBS, there are other medical courses known as Indian Medicine, including BAMS, BHMS, BSMS, and BNYS. If you find MBBS challenging, consider focusing on these options as well. Many people have started to embrace Indian medicine after the COVID pandemic, so it’s not a problem at all.

Prepare for NEET 2025, analyze your situation, and send your details to the Rediffguru. We can discuss this further.

Wishing you all the best!
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1197 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Money
We are a Private Limited Company with an employee strength of 60, and we strictly follow all PF rules. As per the applicable salary criteria, we contribute to the Provident Fund wherever required. Recently, we discovered that an employee who joined our company two years ago has an existing UAN linked to their Aadhaar. However, at the time of joining, the employee declared in Form 11 that they did not have a PF account. Based on this declaration, we did not contribute to their PF account. Now, the employee states that they were unaware of their PF account, and the UAN linked to their Aadhaar is currently inactive. Furthermore, they do not wish to activate their PF account. Given this situation, should we present Form 11 as valid proof for non-contribution, or are there any corrective actions required to comply with PF regulations? Kindly guide us on the appropriate steps to take in this matter.
Ans: Hello;

If the organisation is such that EPFO laws are applicable and if employee 's salary is as per the threshold given by EPFO (15 K basic +DA) then you don't have an option to avoid EPF.

The EPFO commissioner may issue your organisation a show cause notice as to why the form-11 submitted by the employee was not scrutinized thoroughly when it was submitted.

You may furnish joint declaration in the prescribed format to correct the mistake in form 11 and deposit all employer employee contributions till date with penalty as decided by the EPF Commissioner.

Actually such willful suppression of facts by the employee, which bring the employer into legal issues, deserves termination.

Seek advice from a lawyer specializing in labour and EPF laws, if required.

Best wishes;

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x