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My mom's 20-year younger boyfriend makes her uncomfortable - what should I do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1488 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My mother (42 years old) came in relationship with a neighbour guy suddenly before few months. This neighbour guy is just 5 years elder than me & 20 years younger than my mother, but whenever this neighbour guy touch my mother, she feels too uncomfortable. My father knows about it, but he is not saying anything to my mother to stop all these nonsense. Why don't my mother break-up with him if she feels uncomfortable ?? What was the need of being in relationship with a person who is 20 years younger than her ?? Why is my father allowing this ?? Is there any problem ?? My father loves my mother a lot & she knows about it, then what's wrong here ?? My mother asked me to not to interfere in this when I asked these questions to her.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It must be difficult for you swallow this fact that your parents' marriage is not picture perfect. Most things in life are not the way they seem to be. You are young and slowly this truth will sink in...
Until then, it's better to stay away from your parents' marriage. They are adults and know what must be done. If they have some sort of understanding between them, that's solely their business.
Yes, this bothers you...then request them to just hear you out; they may not explain anything to you...but at least you will feel heard out! You can share your insecurities with them...
Talk to a school counselor or someone who you can trust; that way you are not holding things within...Life ain't simple; but we can simplify it to a certain extent.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jan 08, 2025 | Answered on Jan 11, 2025
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It feels like my mother is in some kind of trouble. It feels like that neighbour guy is forcing her indirectly to do things she don't want to. I told about it to my trustworthy relatives. Later, nothing happened. My mother really feels very uncomfortable when that neighbour guy touch her. It boils my blood. It feels like she is not able to stop him because of some reasons.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Try bringing up the topic with your mother and if she says everything is fine, you may want to talk to your father about it. Tell them that you are worried and concerned and you can only hope that one of them take you seriously.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jan 14, 2025 | Answered on Jan 28, 2025
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Already had conversation with both of them, but none of them are ready to talk to me regarding this. I am feeling insecure.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear that. It's best that you stay off of this...as for your insecurity, tell yourself that you do have the presence of both parents in your life. Yes, they are not perhaps the ideal couple like the way all children would want for their parents, but leave it to them. Sports can be a great way to channel your inner demons or anything else that you like. Someday, they will open up and that's when you can have an honest chat with them.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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