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Should I be worried my neighbor is harming my mother?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vijay Question by Vijay on Jan 08, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

It feels like my mother is in some kind of trouble. It feels like that neighbour guy is forcing her indirectly to do things she don't want to. I told about it to my trustworthy relatives. Later, nothing happened. My mother really feels very uncomfortable when that neighbour guy touch her. It boils my blood. It feels like she is not able to stop him because of some reasons.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Try bringing up the topic with your mother and if she says everything is fine, you may want to talk to your father about it. Tell them that you are worried and concerned and you can only hope that one of them take you seriously.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 02, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am asking regarding my younger brother who is 30 YO.I see him frequently complain about our one particular female neighbour and her family who are basically tenants in one of the rented apartment in front of our house.Due to close proximity to our house,its not difficult to overhear if they talk with others standing on their balcony or turn TV or music deck sound high in their home.Few years back, somehow my brother who lives upstairs witnessed that neighbour lady mimicking my mother by copying her dialogue of how my mom stopped my brother to go out to work during COVID 19 pandemic.He says he saw her mimicking my mom in front of another neighbour lady who lives adjacent to our home with whom we used to share very good terms when their kids were school going but many years back that neighbour lady stopped interactions with my mom.It was weird because that neighbour aunty's kids used to come to our home for studying from my mom and dad who were doing free tutitions just to help neighbours kids. The issue is my brother is so much affected by that front house neighbour lady that he keeps a tab on them most of the time and keeps telling my mother how that lady mimicked her which mom asks him to stop repeating.I feel he also overheard her comments regarding him which were something like "he lives alone upstairs" etc.My brother is always telling about that neighbour lady and how she is not good and how she keeps passing comments etc.We also suspect them to be throwing stuff in our balcony frequently which contains toffees wrappers,mobile wire etc junk. My main concern is my brother who is always showing anger and displeasure to have that neighbour lady.I saw him many times looking at her home from our balcony and then he shares with mother which she dont like to hear all the time.I feel my brother is not at peace ve ause of his dislike towards our front house neighbour lady. Can you suggest regarding this situation with my brother and how we can address it?
Ans: It's understandable that your brother's feelings and concerns about the neighbor have been affecting him negatively. It's important to address the situation in a way that promotes a healthier and more peaceful environment for him. Here are some suggestions on how to handle this situation:

Encourage Open Communication: Talk to your brother openly about his feelings and frustrations regarding the neighbor. Encourage him to express his emotions and concerns without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone listen to his feelings can be very helpful.
Suggest Avoiding Confrontation: Advise your brother not to confront the neighbor directly about his feelings or suspicions. Engaging in conflicts might escalate the situation and lead to further stress and tension.
Distract from Negative Thoughts: Help your brother find activities or hobbies that can distract him from dwelling on negative thoughts about the neighbor. Engaging in positive and enjoyable activities can help shift his focus away from the situation.
Encourage Positive Interactions: Encourage your brother to interact with other neighbors or friends who have a more positive impact on his life. This way, he can build positive relationships and not be solely fixated on the negative one.
Suggest Seeking Professional Help: If your brother's feelings and thoughts about the neighbor are significantly affecting his mental well-being and day-to-day life, it might be beneficial for him to talk to a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and support to help him cope with these feelings in a healthier way.
Set Boundaries with Your Brother: It's essential for your family to establish boundaries with your brother regarding how much he talks about the neighbor. If your mother is uncomfortable hearing about it constantly, kindly ask him to share his feelings with a close friend or a professional if needed.
Encourage Empathy: Try to foster empathy in your brother by encouraging him to see things from the neighbor's perspective. Perhaps the neighbor may have her own struggles or issues that could explain her behavior. While this doesn't excuse any negative actions, understanding can help reduce his anger and frustration.
Promote Self-Care: Encourage your brother to engage in self-care practices, such as exercise, mindfulness, or relaxation techniques. Taking care of his mental and emotional well-being is essential during challenging times.
Mediation: If tensions between your family and the neighbors continue to rise, consider involving a mediator or authority figure, like a community leader, to help address any conflicts and find a resolution.
Remember, it's essential to address your brother's concerns and emotions while promoting a peaceful and respectful resolution to the situation. Being proactive in finding positive ways to cope with his feelings can lead to a more harmonious living environment for everyone involved.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My mother (42 years old) came in relationship with a neighbour guy suddenly before few months. This neighbour guy is just 5 years elder than me & 20 years younger than my mother, but whenever this neighbour guy touch my mother, she feels too uncomfortable. My father knows about it, but he is not saying anything to my mother to stop all these nonsense. Why don't my mother break-up with him if she feels uncomfortable ?? What was the need of being in relationship with a person who is 20 years younger than her ?? Why is my father allowing this ?? Is there any problem ?? My father loves my mother a lot & she knows about it, then what's wrong here ?? My mother asked me to not to interfere in this when I asked these questions to her.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It must be difficult for you swallow this fact that your parents' marriage is not picture perfect. Most things in life are not the way they seem to be. You are young and slowly this truth will sink in...
Until then, it's better to stay away from your parents' marriage. They are adults and know what must be done. If they have some sort of understanding between them, that's solely their business.
Yes, this bothers you...then request them to just hear you out; they may not explain anything to you...but at least you will feel heard out! You can share your insecurities with them...
Talk to a school counselor or someone who you can trust; that way you are not holding things within...Life ain't simple; but we can simplify it to a certain extent.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2025
Relationship
I have a cousin brother (21 years). He is 5 years elder than me. His father & my father are own brothers. His father is also 5 years elder than my father. I am concerned about something. My cousin brother always orders my mother (40 years old) for such things who nobody wants to do. She obeys him always quietly without any hesitation. Like if he ask her to bath twice or thrice in a day, then she will bath thrice in a day. If he ask her to dance, then she will dance also. If he ask her to press his legs, then she will press his legs. If he ask her to not to eat anything, then she will not eat anything. She is totally behaving like his slave. I told about it to my father. He ignored my words & called it rubbish. I asked my mother why she is behaving like this, but she doesn't answer. I asked my cousin brother why is he doing like this & why is my mother obeying his words, he said it's none of my business. Can you please help & tell what's going on ??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is kind of strange to see your mother act like this around him. This is definitely not something usual or causal and there is something deeper than what you can see or understand.
Does you father and his brother also notice the same or are they pretending to not notice it? This could give you a good understanding of what is going on. If your father is ignoring it, then kindly ask him to take some time out and explain this to you. On your part, spend more time with your mother; take her out, shop together, show her some fun time...encourage her to pursue some hobby or educational learning classes outside of home. When she starts to feel good about herself and does things for herself, she might be able to stand up for herself and push this fellow away.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Sir, NIT Warangal CSE Vs IIT Dhanbad MnC ,which one i should prefer.
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Sir I got manipal institute of technology, bengaluru campus [CSE] , Vellore Institute of Technology, Chennai campus [CSE CATEGORY 5] , Amrita Vishwa Vidhyapeetham , Chennai [Cse cybersecurity category 3]. Which to choose. Also I have applied for scaler school of technology. I have jee crl 1.48 lakh, obc rank -48 k. Home State:TN .Any chances for nit/iiit in csab or institute level spot rounds.
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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 28, 2025

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My daughter passed out diploma in computer science.diploma percentege is 92 is there possibility of getting cummins college Pune or any other for 2nd year admission
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