HI, I am married person aged 45 , i am in a relation with girl who used to work in our office , now she is working somewhere else, but we are in still in touch only in calls and whats app, from last 4-5 months she is asking help me out her form some financial crysis, i am helping her also. but she is treating me like second grade citizen after i am helping her financially and talks me rudely. few time we had heated arguments also, we never had physical relation, whether i should contine or not.

Ans: Dear Gopi,
I don't think you and this lady have spoken about the structure of the live-in.
Live-in seems like a very fancy thing to do, but it lacks a structure that marriage provides. So, if you are one of those people who needs the security and stability that marriage can offer and live-in can't, then maybe you are in the wrong place. Live-in isn't going to give you any commitments unless you both have agreed to live-in and see if it can turn into a commitment. If both of you have agreed that it is going to be a live-in only, do factor in how you are going to raise your respective children and also explain this facet of live-in with them.
Marriage definitely will give the children the necessary stability but if both the partners are mature enough to take on a live-in, the love and support in that environment can also welcome the children warmly.
So, it's time to evaluate what you seek: a live-in or a marriage and she must answer the same. Sit down together and discuss this at length begore taking any big decisions.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Avinash,
Your situation is complex, involving both emotional and financial aspects. Reflect on your priorities and values. Consider the impact this relationship may have on your overall well-being, your marriage, and your personal life. It's important to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you are comfortable doing so, consider discussing your feelings and concerns with your spouse. Open communication is crucial in maintaining trust and understanding in a marriage.Consider the long-term prospects of this relationship. If it is causing more harm than good, it may be worth reevaluating whether continuing the relationship aligns with your personal goals and values. Evaluate the nature of the financial assistance you are providing. If you feel taken advantage of or if the person is not appreciative of your help, it's crucial to reassess whether continued financial support is appropriate. Establish clear boundaries regarding your relationship, especially given your marital status. If the relationship is causing strain on your marriage or personal well-being, consider whether those boundaries need to be adjusted or reinforced.
Remember, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of those around you. If the relationship is causing distress or negatively impacting your life, it may be time to reassess and make decisions that are in your best interest. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can provide valuable perspectives during challenging times.

PS: I have replied this question earlier also

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This entire thing is about sex. Kindly don't mislead her any longer... End this and please find someone else who is not married and vulnerable. This is not all about you and your physical needs. This is also about who you are with and what situation of life they are in. A little thought beyond just you and your needs can help.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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