Married Man I Don't Find Attractive: What Should I Do?

Ans: First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and understand that attraction and physical chemistry are important components of a relationship. The fact that you feel awkward and even disgusted at times when you're around your husband is a sign that something isn't right for you. These feelings won't just go away with time if they're not addressed.

However, it's also important to recognize that these issues can be multifaceted. Sometimes, initial lack of attraction can change over time if there is emotional connection and effort from both sides. But that requires a willingness from you to explore those possibilities and from him to understand and make changes.

You mentioned that your husband is unaware of your feelings, which is a significant point. It may be time to have an open and honest conversation with him, even though it might be difficult. You don’t have to be brutally honest about everything at once, but you can start by gently addressing some of the issues that are affecting your attraction to him. For example, you could discuss the importance of self-care and suggest changes in his grooming or appearance in a supportive way.

This kind of conversation can be tricky because you want to avoid hurting his feelings while still being truthful about your needs. Framing your concerns as things that would help improve the relationship overall might make it easier for him to hear and understand.

As for whether you should wait another year, that depends on whether you see potential for change and whether you think you can work through these feelings with time and effort. If you don’t see any hope for these feelings to improve, staying in the marriage may only lead to more frustration and resentment.

On the other hand, if you think there’s a chance that with communication, understanding, and perhaps some counseling, the situation could improve, then giving it more time might be worth it. Sometimes, working with a relationship counselor can provide a safe space to discuss these issues and find a path forward, whether that’s towards making the relationship work or deciding it’s not right for you.

Ultimately, your well-being is crucial. If staying in this relationship continues to make you feel depressed, and if you don’t see any hope for improvement, it might be necessary to consider your options more seriously. It’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional health and make decisions that align with what you truly want for your life and happiness.