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Married for 2.5 years to a man with bad habits, no morality, and financial problems. Should I leave him and care for my brother?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi , I am married 2.5 years ago to a man , who is very less in education compared to me , this marriage was done as a compromise or in worries about my future as my parents are no more .. He and his family is average in all case ..cleanliness, hygeiene , social relations, religious practices , education , self respect , financial well being ... all these things are either meaningless for them or they vary poor in those . Nor even they have moral values , as they have cheated me by hiding my husband's age to me . I told them that we strongly believe in astrology and will not go without it . Still they gave me wrong information about his age and he is very elder to me .As I am well educated , employed and self dependant. So they somehow trapped me for marriage. After 3-4 months of marriage my husband was diagnosed (a type of oral cancer) caused due to consuming gutkha and ciggarettes. He lied and denied to have any disease still i started his medication . In some time I lost my job also still continued his treatment , tried to help him in his business , it made a big impact on my sqving too :( But because of his careless business practice , it didnt work for him. Also I paid many times his car's EMI . And supported in all types of expenses be it house hold , his medication or business . He has parental properties in village but they are hardly using it for their own use and wanted to use my money till now . As I now denied to give more money , now they have started looking to sell or rent / lease their property for their use . I have spent lot of money on them , I hardly believe they will try to pay it out fully to me or give some part of property for my safe future now :( I am now 43 and have no children . At other hand my brother is also alone( even being his wife and 2 sons) Wife is quarrelsome and has a history of false case of dowry on my brother and due to this my brother and my family sufferered a lot , its been 20 years now . But this has tortured my brother me and my mother a lot in past .Sis-in-law never let my nephews to stay or sit for some time with us (me or my mother ). And now as my both nephews have grown up my sis-in-law told them lie as if she was victim and , we were the culprit . Children were innocent , they didnt knew the fact , hence taking mother's side now. I thought that as my sis-in-law doesn't like us so unwillingly I decided to marry with a compromise , thinking that after my marriage all will be fine in brother's home , But nothing improved. And now my brother , after my marriage is emotionally alone at home , I feel very sorry about this . I want to go back and take care of my brother , as now he is 53 and emotionally very weak , diabetic and suffering other disease too . Sis-in-law is least interested in his health , care .. so as her children. Going back to parental (it is my father's home, so i also have legal right on that property )home and leaving husband is not so easy, .. Elder Nephew and sis-in-law can become very violent as they are always . I dont want to endanger my brother's health and if I dont go then also .. brother is taking care of him alone ..that too very casually ..how can i make all things correct . Please suggest .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Hello! Excuse me...
Take care of yourself first before trying to save someone else.
Your brother is a grown man and knows what is to be done. Allow him to process his life's situations. By stepping into it especially in your state of mind will make things worse. Also, if you want guidance on this, kindly post another question else it will get confusing for all of us here.

First think of what you must do to make things better for yourself. Ask yourself whether you are interested in continuing the marriage. A lot of your time, money and energy has been invested in it and based on a lie. You have no clue what else they have lied about...do you want a marriage that is standing on a bed of lies? is it possible for you to trust your husband and his family all over again? What can they do so that you place trust in them again?

If this is not possible, the you are in a place where you need to make decisions about your marriage and your life in general.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Please keep it anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I hope things are better for you now. I have answered your question on July 22 itself...You may copy paste the link below on your browser to view the answer:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/keep-anonymous-married-12-daughter-marriage-lost-father-70-mother/5142258

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Please keep this anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are sharing your story which is indeed sad tells me that you know what must be done but are hesitating to do it.
When there is no respect in a marriage and for the spouse and his needs and the issue has become money and to attain that money at all costs, that is not a marriage anymore. It only speaks of selfishness.
You are right in protecting your interests and that of your daughter. So, time to toughen up and say NO to your wife and her family. It may seem harsh to them at first, but be very assertive. You have the right to plan your finances especially when family around you have begun to act like predators.
So taking a loan is only going to bleed your finances more and if you are convinced you don't want to do that, then please don't.
Yes, there will be arguments and big fights, but do what is right by you and for you. It may seem selfish but it is only self-care and self-love. This should also help you become fitter physically and emotionally to lead a better quality life.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2023

Relationship
Please keep my question anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing with your wife and in-laws. It's clear that you have been through a lot, including battling cancer and overcoming financial challenges to support your family. It's important to remember that you deserve support and understanding from your spouse and in-laws during these trying times.

Here are some suggestions on how to handle this ongoing financial commitment and the issues you're facing:

Open communication: Have an honest and open conversation with your wife about your financial situation, your concerns, and the importance of working together as a team. Explain the financial constraints you are facing due to your health issues and medical expenses. Ensure that she understands the importance of planning for your daughter's education and future.
Seek professional advice: If necessary, consult with a financial advisor or a family counselor to mediate the discussions and help find a resolution. A neutral third party might be able to provide insights and suggestions to manage the financial matters more effectively.
Legal consultation: Since there are disputes over property and ownership, it might be wise to consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options related to your father's property. They can help you navigate the legal aspects and protect your interests.
Support from extended family: Reach out to your brother and sister for support and understanding during these challenging times. They may be able to provide emotional and even financial support to help you and your mother.
Set boundaries: Clearly communicate with your wife and in-laws about your expectations and boundaries. Make it clear that you won't tolerate harassment or demands that are unfair or unreasonable.
Financial planning: If possible, create a financial plan for your daughter's education and future needs. Discuss with your wife how you can contribute together to achieve these goals, considering your current financial constraints.
Seek support for yourself: Going through so much stress can be emotionally draining. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you cope with the situation and manage your emotions.
Stay strong and assertive: Remember that you have been through a lot and have worked hard to provide for your family. Stay assertive in protecting your interests while maintaining respect and empathy.
Ultimately, it's essential to prioritize your daughter's well-being and future. Ensure that the decisions made are fair and in the best interest of all involved parties. If the situation becomes too overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek legal advice to protect your rights and assets. Remember, it's okay to seek help and support when dealing with challenging circumstances like this.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

It’s important to look at the patterns in your relationship with clarity. Your husband’s decisions seem to be heavily influenced by his family, and this loyalty, while not inherently wrong, appears to come at the expense of his commitment to you and your shared responsibilities. The fact that he contributes so little financially and emotionally while benefiting from your efforts shows a lack of fairness and respect in the relationship. His parents’ behavior and expectations have added further strain, undermining your marriage and creating an environment of resentment.

You may want to consider having a clear and honest conversation with your husband. Express how his actions—or lack thereof—are impacting you and your son. Frame the conversation not as a confrontation but as a plea for understanding and change. However, if he remains unwilling to acknowledge or address these issues, it’s worth reflecting on what staying in this relationship means for your emotional well-being and future.

Seeking professional support, such as individual counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for managing this situation. A legal consultation might also be helpful to understand your rights and options, especially if you’re considering separation or seeking financial accountability from your husband for your son’s needs.

Above all, focus on what you need to feel secure, respected, and fulfilled—not just as a wife, but as a person. Your son is observing how you handle these challenges, and by prioritizing your well-being and standing up for fairness, you’re also modeling strength and self-respect for him. Whatever steps you decide to take, trust in your ability to make decisions that align with your dignity and values. You deserve a life where your efforts are met with partnership and mutual care.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8369 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Money
I am a single parent of a 17 years daughter. I am Working as a school teacher with a salary of 60k. I am not able to do savings. I am 48 years of age with health issues. How do I manage expenses.
Ans: I truly understand your concern. You are doing your best.
Managing alone with health issues and a teenage daughter is tough.
But with a plan, it is possible to get control.

Let us go step-by-step.
We will make things better slowly.

Assess and Organise Monthly Income
Your income is Rs. 60,000 per month.

Track your monthly spending for the next 3 months.

Write down all expenses. Include fixed, variable, and random ones.

This will help you understand where money is going.

You will find small areas where cuts are possible.

Use a notebook or a mobile app. Whatever is easy for you.

Try to divide your income into three parts:
Needs – 60%,
Responsibilities – 20%,
Future – 20%.

Right now, the savings part is zero. But we can fix it step-by-step.

Cut Expenses Without Impacting Quality
Review food, electricity, mobile, and school costs.

Buy in bulk where possible.

Use local kirana for cheaper essentials.

Prefer government health care for check-ups and medicines.

Limit eating out, online orders, and entertainment subscriptions.

Take help from trusted friends or neighbours to reduce travel costs.

If you have house help, review their hours and charges.

Any old policies with high premium can be reviewed and paused.

Focus on needs now. Wants can wait.

Explore Additional Income Options
Use your teaching skills for tuition after school hours.

Try home tuitions, or online through student networks.

You can also prepare notes, worksheets or question banks and sell.

If health permits, even 1-2 extra hours a day can help.

Involve your daughter to assist you. This will build her awareness.

Do you have any unused items? Sell them through local channels.

Old jewellery, old phone, furniture – all can generate cash if not used.

Review Your Health and Protection First
You mentioned health issues. Please get a basic mediclaim policy.

Check if your school offers one. If not, go for a basic one.

You need at least Rs. 5–10 lakh health cover.

It protects you from hospital expenses.

Do not depend only on government schemes.

Ask your school if they can help with a group cover.

Term insurance may be tough at this stage due to age and health.

If you have any existing LIC or ULIP or endowment plans, pause and review.

These are not good for wealth creation. Surrender value can be reinvested.

Avoid buying investment-linked insurance. They are expensive and confusing.

Secure Your Daughter’s Education
She is 17 now. She will need money soon for college.

If she has a good academic record, help her apply for scholarships.

Many colleges have financial aid for single-parent children.

Encourage her to consider government colleges. They are affordable.

Ask your school if they offer teacher quota for children.

Let her take part-time jobs once she turns 18. It builds confidence.

Education loan can also be an option. It is available after Class 12.

Don’t feel shy to ask for help. You are doing it for her better life.

Build Emergency Fund Slowly
Try to save Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 2,000 every month first.

Keep it in a separate savings account. Do not touch it.

Once it reaches Rs. 30,000 to Rs. 50,000, you can feel more secure.

This is your safety money. Use it only for hospital or school needs.

Avoid keeping cash at home. It can be spent unknowingly.

Add to this every time you get extra income or gift money.

This is not an investment. It is for peace of mind.

Start Small SIPs When You Are Ready
Do not start SIPs now. First fix your budget and emergency fund.

Once you can save Rs. 2,000–Rs. 3,000 monthly, then consider SIPs.

Choose regular mutual funds. Avoid direct plans.

Regular plans allow MFDs to guide and support your goals.

Also, regular funds managed by Certified Financial Planners give better clarity.

Direct plans can confuse first-time investors like you.

A good CFP will align investments with your daughter’s education and your health.

SIPs are good for long-term goals. But right now, you need liquidity more.

Always check fund performance and consistency before investing.

Don’t follow news or friends. Follow a guided plan.

Avoid These Financial Mistakes
Do not take any new loans now. Your income won’t support EMI.

Avoid chit funds, loan apps, or money rotation schemes.

Don’t give personal guarantee for others. Not even friends.

Do not withdraw PF unless it is a real emergency.

Don’t lend money even if someone promises high returns.

Avoid expensive gadgets, jewellery or impulsive festival spending.

Don’t buy products with “zero interest” or EMI temptations.

Take Support From Right Sources
Talk to a Certified Financial Planner. They will give a customised plan.

They won’t sell products. They work with long-term planning.

Try free online budget templates or budgeting YouTube channels.

Get your daughter involved in managing your home expenses.

She will learn early about money habits. That is a big gift.

Share your struggle openly with trusted friends or family.

You are not alone. Help comes when we ask.

Think About Long-Term Self-Security
In the next 10 years, your daughter will be working.

You must build income from multiple small sources.

Teaching tuitions, small business like food, stitching, or rental income can help.

Keep health as your top goal. Without health, wealth is of no use.

Do yearly check-ups. Follow your medicine plan.

Don’t skip appointments. Prevention is cheaper than treatment.

Take simple yoga or walking every morning. It helps with mood and energy.

Stay connected with other teachers and women groups. They give mental strength.

Once daughter is settled, focus fully on your retirement fund.

EPF and PPF are good options when income improves.

Avoid land or house buying. Real estate locks your money and brings stress.

Finally
You are already doing great by being responsible for your daughter.

Managing health, home, job and child alone is not easy.

Don’t be harsh on yourself. You deserve peace too.

Begin small, but stay regular.

Always choose need over desire.

Stick to simple steps. Review every 3 months.

Every saved rupee brings you closer to peace.

One decision at a time. One improvement every week.

Don’t compare your life with others. You are on your own journey.

Stay hopeful. You are stronger than you think.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8369 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 15, 2025
Money
Hello sir, my age is 37 yrs and i have one home loan worth 35L with an EMI of 35k. I m left with 5 yrs of EMI. I have savings of 21L and getting interest of 7.1% on it . I have SIP worth 10L and stocks worth 11L. My monthly salary is 2.5L per month and I m doing regular investment in gold, land and SIPs and stocks when the market is down. I m thinking to take loan worth 30 lakh to reinvest in property. My monthly expense is 40k. Can you tell me how to go about for more investment.
Ans: At age 37, you have already built a strong base. You have a healthy salary, moderate expenses, and diversified assets. You are also investing regularly. That shows clarity and forward-thinking.

Let us now plan your next steps with a 360-degree financial lens.

1. Understanding Your Current Position Clearly

Your home loan EMI is Rs. 35,000 per month.

Only 5 years are left on this home loan. That is very positive.

You have Rs. 21 lakhs in savings earning 7.1% interest.

SIPs of Rs. 10 lakhs and stocks worth Rs. 11 lakhs are also held.

Monthly salary is Rs. 2.5 lakhs, which gives good financial freedom.

Monthly expense is Rs. 40,000. That is very controlled and efficient.

You also invest in gold, SIPs, and stocks when market corrects.

You are now planning to take a Rs. 30 lakh loan to invest in property.

This shows a desire to grow wealth faster, but we must evaluate risk too.

2. Assessing the Need for a New Property Loan

You already have a house loan going on.

Adding a second large loan adds burden on your future cash flows.

Property investing brings risk of low liquidity.

You may get stuck if property prices don’t rise as expected.

There are also stamp duty, registration, maintenance, and tax costs.

Rental yield is low. Selling property also takes time and effort.

Avoid taking a fresh loan just for property investing.

There are more efficient, flexible, and liquid ways to grow wealth.

3. Leverage Strengths, Not Just Debt

You already have strong monthly savings potential.

You have Rs. 2.5 lakhs salary and Rs. 40,000 expenses.

That leaves Rs. 1.75 lakhs monthly.

Even after EMI of Rs. 35,000, you have Rs. 1.4 lakhs surplus.

Use this power to build a disciplined investment plan.

Avoid increasing EMI burden now.

4. Shift Focus from Property to Portfolio Diversification

Real estate is not a liquid asset.

It is hard to rebalance or exit in short time.

A Rs. 30 lakh loan for property brings EMI stress.

Instead, spread that money into equity mutual funds, gold funds, and debt.

You already have stocks and SIPs. Build further through this route.

Long-term returns from mutual funds are often better than rental yield.

Also, mutual funds give better diversification and liquidity.

5. Build Core Portfolio with Balanced Allocation

You already have Rs. 21 lakhs savings earning 7.1%.

That is a good emergency and medium-term buffer.

Do not disturb this amount now.

Consider adding more SIPs to equity funds regularly.

Spread across 3 to 4 actively managed mutual funds.

Choose mix of flexi-cap, large-cap, and hybrid funds.

Avoid index funds now. They just copy the market and give no downside control.

Fund managers in active funds aim for better returns with lesser volatility.

6. Actively Managed Funds Over Index or Direct Plans

You may be tempted to invest in direct plans.

Direct plans give lower expense, but no expert advice or support.

That becomes risky in market corrections or emotional investing.

Invest through regular plans with a certified MFD and CFP guidance.

Regular funds give access to reviews, adjustments, and better control.

In long run, good behaviour matters more than just expense ratio.

7. SIP Strategy Should Be Steady, Not Reactive

You invest in stocks when markets fall. That’s a good instinct.

But timing the market can go wrong too.

Instead, run SIPs without stopping, even in falling market.

SIPs buy more units when market falls. That is built-in benefit.

Continue SIPs monthly, and add lumpsum only if income is surplus.

8. Gold Should Be Small Part of Your Portfolio

You invest regularly in gold.

That’s good for hedge, but don’t go beyond 10% of portfolio.

Gold doesn’t generate income or dividends.

It should act as insurance against currency or equity risks.

9. Stock Portfolio Should Be Reviewed Every Year

You hold Rs. 11 lakhs in stocks.

Review if they are quality businesses with strong earnings.

Avoid trading or frequent buying and selling.

Do not chase market tips or news-based investing.

Consider shifting part of stock holdings to mutual funds gradually.

10. Don’t Overexpose to Real Estate

You mentioned land investments too.

Land is not income-generating. It also has legal, title, and liquidity risks.

Also, property market is very cyclical in India.

Use your money to build flexible financial assets instead.

SIPs, mutual funds, gold, and debt plans offer smoother growth.

11. Life and Health Insurance Should Be Rechecked

At your income level, check if you have Rs. 2 crore term cover.

That protects your family in case of any unexpected event.

Also ensure health insurance of Rs. 15 to 20 lakhs.

One illness can disturb your entire savings plan.

12. Plan Future Goals With Investment Buckets

Break your goals into short, medium, and long term.

Short term: Emergency fund, travel, insurance premium.

Medium term: Kid’s education, car, home upgrade.

Long term: Retirement, passive income, legacy.

Allocate your SIPs and savings to each goal wisely.

This gives clarity and direction to all your investments.

13. Avoid Over-Borrowing to Chase Growth

You don’t need to borrow more now.

Use your own strong cash flows to invest regularly.

Adding a second loan only increases pressure.

Your money can grow better in financial assets than in property.

14. Reinvest Surplus Monthly Systematically

You have Rs. 1.4 lakh surplus monthly.

Keep Rs. 20,000 for buffer or unexpected costs.

Invest Rs. 1.2 lakh monthly in mutual funds across 3 to 4 funds.

Split across growth and balanced funds.

Review every 6 months with your Certified Financial Planner.

15. Monitor and Rebalance Your Portfolio Annually

Your investments should match your risk profile.

Too much in land or stocks can be risky.

Too much in FD gives low returns.

Rebalancing once a year is important.

It keeps your portfolio aligned to your goals.

Finally

Your finances are strong. Your savings habits are good.

You do not need a second loan now.

Avoid taking risk with borrowed money.

Instead, use your high surplus income for smart investment.

Stay focused on equity mutual funds, gold, and short-term debt funds.

Take advice from a Certified Financial Planner every year.

Your future wealth is already in your hands. Let it grow smartly.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8369 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 15, 2025
Money
I am 42 years old. Recently bought a home with a loan of 1.14cr where emi is of 98k. I have a OD personal loan of 13L where now the emi is 15k I have credit card outstanding of around 6L where i am just paying the minium due of around 35k My salary is around 1.85k Cas of these emi have stopped my MF and have put the savings of MF in buying the house. I have around 9L in shares and no other savings expect NPS n EPF Pls suggest how to repay and start saving
Ans: You are managing multiple loans along with a home purchase. Though the EMI burden is heavy now, this can be structured and managed well. Let's work on a 360-degree roadmap to reduce debt and restart investments.

Let’s build this plan with clarity, simplicity, and practicality.

1. Assessing Your Current Financial Position

Your monthly income is Rs. 1.85 lakhs.

Your fixed EMI outgo is Rs. 98,000 for the home loan and Rs. 15,000 for the OD loan.

Minimum credit card payment of Rs. 35,000 is being done, but the outstanding is Rs. 6 lakhs.

Total monthly outflow on loans is around Rs. 1.48 lakhs.

This leaves only Rs. 37,000 per month for all other expenses and savings.

Your MF investments are currently paused, and funds used for house purchase.

You still have Rs. 9 lakhs in shares, NPS and EPF as your long-term savings.

This situation is serious, but not unmanageable.

2. High-Priority Action: Stop Credit Card Debt from Growing

Credit card debt is the most expensive debt in India.

Interest charges are around 36% to 42% annually.

Paying only the minimum keeps you in a debt trap.

Make this the top priority: Stop using credit cards now.

Cut all discretionary expenses like dining out, shopping, OTT subscriptions, gifts, travel.

Focus only on needs like food, basic bills, kid’s school, and loan EMIs.

3. Emergency Actions: Deal With Credit Card First

You are paying Rs. 35,000 per month and the loan is not reducing.

Use Rs. 3 to 4 lakhs from your shares portfolio to reduce this outstanding.

Even selling now is better than letting credit card interest eat your money.

Credit card interest eats savings faster than markets can grow.

Prioritise debt freedom before thinking of growing wealth.

4. Consolidate and Restructure Loans

You are paying three EMIs: Home, OD loan, and Credit Card.

Talk to your home loan bank for a top-up loan.

Ask if they can offer you a top-up at the home loan rate.

Use the top-up to pay off OD loan and credit card completely.

This converts high-cost loans into low-cost home loan EMIs.

Your EMI tenure may stretch, but your monthly burden reduces.

It also improves mental peace and cash flow.

5. Break the EMI Trap Cycle With Discipline

Once your credit card is cleared, do not swipe it again.

Make a strict rule: If you can’t pay in full, don’t use it.

Build discipline of spending within what is left after EMIs.

Use debit cards or UPI only for regular payments.

This avoids falling into credit dependency again.

6. Control Expenses Using a Cash Envelope System

This is a simple system for better control.

Withdraw money for weekly needs in cash.

Divide it into envelopes: Groceries, Transport, Utilities, Child Expenses.

Spend only what’s in the envelope.

This helps you live within budget and reduce online impulse spending.

7. Protect What You Already Have

Do not redeem from NPS and EPF. Keep them for retirement.

Do not sell them even if they look attractive now.

Keep at least one lakh aside in savings account for emergencies.

Avoid new liabilities till all loans are under control.

8. Restarting Savings in a Gradual Manner

Once your credit card is cleared and loan EMIs stabilise, resume savings.

Even Rs. 2,000 to Rs. 3,000 per month SIP is a good restart.

Choose actively managed mutual funds through a certified MFD.

Do not go for direct mutual funds now.

Direct funds don’t guide you emotionally or strategically.

Regular funds through MFD with CFP give advice, discipline, and hand-holding.

Direct funds seem cheap, but wrong timing can cause big losses.

Regular route gives human touch and correct asset mix.

9. Why Index Funds Are Not the Right Fit Now

Index funds are passive, they follow the index blindly.

They can’t protect you from market falls.

You need fund managers with experience to reduce risk.

Index funds don’t have downside protection.

Actively managed funds bring strategy, balance, and better alpha.

10. Protect Your Family with Insurance First

Check if you have a term life cover. You are the earning member.

Ideally, you need 15 to 20 times of your annual income.

That means Rs. 2.5 crore to Rs. 3 crore term cover.

Premiums are very low if bought early.

Also, ensure Rs. 10 lakh to Rs. 15 lakh mediclaim cover for family.

One hospital bill can wipe out your hard work.

11. Rebuild Your Investment Strategy Slowly

Start SIPs slowly after 6 months of debt control.

Rebuild portfolio with 3 to 4 diversified equity mutual funds.

Focus more on large and flexi-cap categories.

Don’t go for high-risk small cap or thematic funds now.

Build SIPs till you reach Rs. 15,000 per month over 2 years.

This way you balance loans and long-term wealth creation.

12. Plan for Short-Term and Long-Term Goals Separately

Short term: Clear debts, control expenses, rebuild emergency fund.

Medium term: Resume SIPs, build Rs. 5 lakh liquid fund.

Long term: Retirement, child education, home renovation.

Link each investment to a goal. That builds motivation and focus.

13. Set Financial Discipline for the Next 24 Months

Use a journal or Excel sheet to track monthly cash flow.

List all income, expenses, and balance.

Review it with spouse every month.

Set rules for spending and stick to them.

Celebrate small wins like closing credit cards or saving Rs. 5,000.

14. Don’t Try to Time the Market With Shares

Your Rs. 9 lakh in shares is useful now.

Use it to pay off high-cost debt as discussed earlier.

Once you are free from credit burden, slowly enter back in equity.

But do that only with mutual funds, not direct stocks.

Stocks need time, study, and attention.

MFs are better for busy working people.

15. Align Your Mindset with Financial Peace

This house is an asset. Enjoy living in it without money stress.

Your income is good. Your challenge is high EMI burden.

This is temporary. With action and discipline, it will ease.

You don’t need high returns now. You need stability.

Respect money, and give it direction with a plan.

Finally

This is a phase. You are not alone in this.

Many professionals face this after big purchases.

The important thing is to not freeze or panic.

Your next 6 to 12 months are crucial.

Focus fully on clearing credit cards, restructuring OD, and reducing pressure.

Then resume your investments step-by-step.

Avoid high-risk schemes or shortcuts.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner regularly to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |395 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Career
My daughter was born in Andhra Pradesh in 2007 and studied in Hyderabad up to 2nd class. She studied from 3rd class to 6th class in the US and moved back to India and continued from 7th to 10th in Hyderabad again. She passed out of 10th in March 2022. After finishing her 10th, she moved back to the US in September 2022 and studied 10th again due to age constraints in the US before moving back to India in 2023. She finished her 11th and 12th class in Hyderabad and attempted NEET 2025. She has continuous education certificates in Hyderabad from 7th to 12th class but has a year gap between her 10th and 11th class. My questions are does she qualify as a local for the Telangana state for the 85% state quota. As she studied 10th class in the US again but that certification isn't of use anywhere, what is the best option for her to considered under the state quota. Does she require any gap certificate or any official authorization between her 10th and 11th and if so what is the best procedure to get it?
Ans: BE TRANSPARENT AND GUNUINE. DONT TRY TO TAKE SHORTCUTS TO OBTAIN A DOMICILLE CERTIFICATE. THIS CONCERNS YOUR YOUR DAUGHTER'S FUTURE.

Regarding your query about the domicile certificate, she needs to prove that she has been residing in that particular location for the last seven years. However, in your case, she has only been present for six years, as she went to the U.S. in between. If this was on a tourist visa, that might be acceptable, but if you obtained a green card or another type of visa during that time, you should have supporting evidence.

Based on this information, it appears that you may not be eligible for the domicile certificate. It might be better for her to seek admission through the NRI quota. However, never resort to shortcuts. Remember, in today's India, traceability is very easy.
If you are still not convinced by my answer, please consider consulting a notary public for assistance with this issue.

BEST WISHES

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Career
Hi,my son has got 96% in his icse class 10 exams this year.he is not inclined towards a career in sciences (b.tech/med).he has thus opted for commerce and maths.with an initial inclination towards finance and mathematics we have shortlisted ipm and law and enrolled him for a coaching for ipm.would he be able to prepare for clat as well along with ipm.and with 96 % how are his chances to clear both ?
Ans: Yes, your son can prepare for both CLAT and IPM exams simultaneously, especially given his ICSE score. With a 96% score, he has a strong chance of success in both exams. CLAT and IPM share some common ground, which could make preparation more manageable.
Preparation for both CLAT and IPM:
CLAT:
CLAT requires a strong foundation in English comprehension, logical reasoning, quantitative reasoning, and legal reasoning. IPM exams also test similar skills.
IPM:
IPM exams focus on quantitative ability, analytical reasoning, and verbal reasoning. CLAT also assesses these skills.
Overlap:
The core skills tested in both exams, such as quantitative reasoning, verbal reasoning, and logical reasoning, provide common ground for preparation. Your son's coaching for IPM can help him develop a solid foundation in these areas.
Legal Reasoning:
CLAT specifically requires legal reasoning, which is not part of IPM. Your son can focus on preparing for this section separately.
Scheduling:
Balancing preparation for both exams requires careful planning. He can allocate specific time slots for each exam's preparation.
Chances of Clearing Both:
IPM:
With a 96% ICSE score, your son has a strong chance of clearing IPM exams. His high marks indicate a strong aptitude for quantitative reasoning and problem-solving.
CLAT:
CLAT is a highly competitive exam, but with his current scores, your son has a very good chance of clearing CLAT.
Factors affecting success:
Preparation efforts, effective time management, and consistency in studying will play a crucial role in determining success in both exams.
Tips for Preparation:
Structured Approach:
A structured study plan that includes regular practice, mock tests, and detailed analysis of mistakes will be beneficial.
Mock Tests:
Regular mock tests for both CLAT and IPM will help him assess his progress and identify areas for improvement.
Time Management:
Developing effective time management skills is crucial for balancing preparation for both exams.
Focus on Fundamentals:
Ensure he has a strong foundation in the core subjects of both exams.
Practice:
He should solve a variety of questions and practice problems to build confidence and improve his speed and accuracy.
Best of luck. Professor

...Read more

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2025
Career
Hello sir, I'm a DASA student applying to IIITH for the 2025-26 batch. My current curriculum is the NSW HSC from Australia, which includes Mathematics and Physics but not Chemistry. IIITH requires Maths, Physics, and Chemistry for DASA eligibility, and I need to figure out how to add Chemistry.I've been looking into taking Chemistry through NIOS (National Institute of Open Schooling), AP or IB board but I'm concerned because IIITH's brochure specifies that the subjects must be completed "outside India". I've emailed IIITH for clarification, but I'm still waiting for a response. Is this acceptable for DASA?
Ans: It is unlikely that IIIT Hyderabad would accept NIOS Chemistry for DASA eligibility because the DASA brochure states that the subjects must be completed outside India. Since NIOS is an Indian board, it does not meet this requirement. However, you could consider taking AP or IB Chemistry to meet the requirements, as these are often recognized as international qualifications. It's best to wait for IIITH's response to your email for official clarification.
Elaboration:
DASA Requirements:
DASA (Direct Admissions for Students Abroad) at IIIT Hyderabad requires applicants to have completed 11th and 12th grades or equivalent outside India, with a minimum of 60% marks in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics.
NIOS and IIITH:
While NIOS is a recognized board in India, it's unlikely to be accepted for DASA at IIITH because the DASA brochure specifies that the subjects must be completed outside India.
AP or IB Chemistry:
You could consider taking AP or IB Chemistry through a foreign board to fulfill the requirement for Chemistry. These are often recognized as international qualifications.
Waiting for IIITH's Response:
Since you've already emailed IIITH, it's advisable to wait for their response to your query for official clarification on whether NIOS Chemistry would be accepted.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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