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CA Aspirant Struggling with Demotivation: Feeling Stuck - What Can I Do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1482 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
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Hi Sir/Ma'am, I am here to know if there is a problem with my mind or body as I am having a strong sense of demotivation to work towards the upcoming exams. I had taken a 3 months study leave from my work for the upcoming exams to be held in January . The first month was excellent but the next was not good and last month was pathetic. For the past 2 months I have been trying to work hard sincerely but failed. I sat at the study table, but could not achieve my targets. I wrote the targets , but still failed to complete them. I tried watching self help videos and read self help books but nothing is helping me. Today, it is like my brain signals not to work towards any of my targets. I am a CA aspirant and I tried all these ways but nothing worked for me. My exams are in 9 days and my family is not ready to give me any more chances because this is my 7th attempt. Even if I talk about this problem with my family, they become extremely negative and say harsh words about my future. Since I do not have family or friends to talk about it , could you please provide me sincere help in this ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly work with someone who can get you out of this mindset and into a mindset that is not motivating but also inspiring. Right now what you face is lack of inspiration which is understandable given the many attempts. But you are aware that some professional exams are like this; so persevere...
If it makes sense, take a break from it all...Breaks can refresh the mind and also help you realign yourself back to your goal. But make sure it's a short break and not something that will get you to a place of procrastinating. The break is to help you slow down the mind so that you can bring yourself back to your goal and take necessary steps to achieve it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2023

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Sir as i do partial drop with bsc i decided to give my third attempt in last but at end 3 months before my exams i feel ill ,my both college exam and this exam come college exam finish exactly 1 day ago i am always a topper in school ,college but i feel like devested i am 19 soon to be 20 i know i can't give my 100 percent but i feel like dead now getting depressed as my brother ,sister get their respective dream college i am still struggling i feel like a lost ,failure ,directionless ,defeated daily i feel like miserable althought it not my fault I feel bad like how miserable i become because of that i can't even focus a single thing i even started eating less food ,locking myself ,silence nobody is mocking me but i feel like i lost myself how should I will be successful again Being doctor is my always dream ,i standup on my own 2 times but now i feel like devested can you please tell me how to get harmony and again in my life and be successful
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1482 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

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Hi mam i give neet with partial drop three times i always wanted to be a doctor in my whole family my brother and sister get their desired colleges i am not jealous of them but i sometimes feel neglected then i worked hard on my dreams as at my third attempt as i give at three months before it my final exam of college of other subject start i can't even quit that because i fear my family disappointment then i didn't able to give my 100 fully that makes me satisfied i feel so depressed that i didn't have courage to check marks while everyone is celebrating their success i feel lost can't i feel complete one good dream for myself all my family support me to do whatever you want but i can't decide i feel like tragiec the faith all i have put in myself feel like useless i crave to be success do something for my own but i can't known that such thing occur unexpectedly i feel depressed and my family think i am just doing because to gain their attention ,i keep unnessary exceptions from me ,is it crime to keep big dream althought i worked hard but it didn't take outi feel like lost all how can I get up and achieve something feel proud of myself
Ans: Dear Yadnya,
Dream Big and never be afraid to Fail. Most often, we are told that failure is not an option. Failure when accepted as a part of life, then loses power over us.
1. Never become attached to the outcome so that fear does not play in your mind
2. Understand that We win some and Lose some and losing does not mean all is lost
3. Draw a clear plan to achieve your goal
4. Work on your state of mind for optimum performance
5. Develop hobbies outside of studies that can support you have a positive outlook on a daily basis
6. Family and friends are your best support system, so talk to them regularly about your challenges to enable them to support you

Smile and dream big again; tomorrow is another new day.

All the best!

..Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4091 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

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DEAR, MA'AM YEAH DIR I DONT KNOW IF YOU ARE REPLAY ME OR NOT I TURN TO 25 THIS YEAR. I AM A ASPIRANT OF SSC CGL AND I HEARTINGLY WANT THIS I HAVE A CLEAR GOAL. ON WHICH I AM ALSO WORK IT BUT I STARTED LATE AND I THOUGHT MY AGE IS TOO MUCH I HAVE ALSO SO MUCH FINANCIAL OROBLEM. MY PARENT'S HEALTH AND ALSO MY HEALTH ARE WORST DAY BY DAY DUE TO ANXIETY . I AM NOT WILLING TO STUDY I GOT 113IN PRELIMS THIS YEAR IT WAS MY FIRST ATTEMPT BUT I CANT MOVE ON FROM THIS. WHAT DID I DO SO THAT I CAN AGAIN FOCUS ON MY STUDIES SO MUCH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND DESIRE GRAB ME I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF????.
Ans: Please post your question in 'small letters' in the future. Anyway, coming to your current question, despite challenges, having a clear objective and the will to achieve it can help you refocus and recover control. To manage health and anxiety, identify your emotions, seek help, and focus on good living styles like exercise, sleep, and healthy food. Control stress regarding money by finding part-time or freelancing projects or government programs. Change your SSC CGL preparation method by evaluating your performance, creating smaller objectives, establishing a disciplined daily schedule, fighting negative ideas, limiting distractions, using resources wisely, and maintaining a positive outlook.

Finally, prioritize your family's health and well-being, even if it means standing stagnant. Remember that even little progress forward is preferable than standing stagnant. Remember that your resilience is already evident, and your will to rise once more counts. If you feel overwhelmed, don't hesitate to ask for assistance or have a conversation with your friends and family members. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |341 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

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My parents and even I don't think that I can crack neet in remaining 3 month with zero knowledge. Actually they are supportive but in last 2 years I didn't study and been wasting time and scored -8 to 350 marks in mock test with average score of 270 to 250 out of 720. Im just depressed and I don't think I'm serious and I can't achieve anything in my life . Im just eating sleeping wasting time . I cannot even full fill my parents wish and I'm just lazy fatty and not consistent on study and weight . I am just this even I disappointed my parents with my 10th marks by scoring 74% by wasting whole year and reading day before exam I scored this but I never told about it to them . I think I have ability to be topper but I don't know why I am not able to do so. My goal is also to loose 25 kg in 3 month but I'm not at all serious but I'm gaining weight. Im not controlling my feelings just like lust. Im just lazy, sleepy. I have a mindset of sleeping from 10 pm but watch phone till 12am and asleep and awake at 8 am. This became my routine. I have to avoid but I'm unable. My parents are good but on seeing my routine and marks they scold and demotivate and show me my unableness and if I won't crack neet this year my parents will be disappointed and my relatives humiliate me and my parents and they loose their reputation and my father decided to marry me and it's my goal to join AFMC. But even knowing all these facts i couldn't study. Actually my coaching centre completed whole syllabus but I didn't understood anything there and I neet mare time for self study. I made plan it is 100% correct one but I'm not at all following that , even realising these all from 2 years I'm not doing and focusing. I don't know why and what to do.
Ans: I appreciate your brutal honesty. But let me tell you with present lifestyle you can never get AFMC or any good college. So leave the dream to be doctor. You lack only one thing, that is self motivation. Just follow routine only one day and that will inspire you for the remaining day. Don't bother for the criticism of the relatives, they are of no use. Relatives are there to criticize you when you fail and jealous of you when you succeed. But feel for your parents. Go for ordinary graduation. Your career motivation is very less. I think you are the only child and over pampered from childhood. But now come to the track, it will help you. If your parents fail to teach you discipline then the cruel world will teach you that and that is very painful. If you get good a good candidate then get married and enjoy a happy married life and pursue your hobby. Best of luck. Just follow me. Professor....................:)

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Inderpaul

Inderpaul Singh  |5 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2025Hindi
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I’m 30, working as an assistant manager in a retail chain in Mumbai. Recently, I’ve been given more responsibilities but I feel unsure about leading a larger team. I want to give my best and prove myself worthy of a promotion. What should I focus on to prepare for managerial role?
Ans: Hello
I assume you would already have some supervisory experience since you have been working in a managerial position. But yes the dynamics of handling a larger work force may be bit different. Each person will have a different leadership style suited to his/her personality & work needs. Since I am unaware of your exact job, deliverables, span of control, hierarchy etc. I am giving a general template to be an effective team lead:- 1) Know your team well - the importance of this one element cannot be over-emphasized enough, while simple it may look, most people fail to get this piece right & hence struggle. Knowing doesn't just mean names but in depth understanding of each team members' background, family, education, strengths/weaknesses so on so forth. This is the building block for effective leadership. 2) List out clear & unique deliverables for each member - A person cannot act clearly if the goals are ambiguous in the first place. Put ample effort to clearly enunciate the job roles. 3) Avoid micro management - This one element keeps most people from becoming an effective leader. As you go up in span, you need to be liberal in giving up the manual controls & instead put robust systems to take care such as reviews, reports etc. 4) Regular & quality feedback sessions - Feedback sessions should be regular, objective & should focus on real improvement inputs rather nit picking mistakes/making personal comments. 5) Reward/Recognition - Instant reward/acknowledgement of good work/performance (something as simple as weekly recognition in a group meet goes a long way in building performance culture). 6) Managing Poor Performance - Equally important is to effectively manage poor performers by having a structured performance improvement plans (PIPs) & exit process for laggards . Transparency & objectivity are the keys here.

As true for most skills, team management skills also evolve with time & a person continues to get better at it with experience with regular and honest retrospection/introspection of situations/actions/outcomes.

All the Best !

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1482 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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I am Lisha a kg teacher. I have debt of 40 lakhs. I have net income 25000. How can I manage to recover from debt? Please reply
Ans: Understanding the Debt Situation

You have a total debt of Rs. 40 lakhs.

Your net income is Rs. 25,000 per month.

Managing this situation requires planning, discipline, and action.

The key focus should be reducing high-interest loans first.

Increasing income is also necessary to speed up debt repayment.

Prioritising Debt Repayment

List all loans with their interest rates and EMI amounts.

Identify which loans have the highest interest rates.

Prioritise paying off the costliest loan first.

If you have multiple high-interest loans, consider debt consolidation.

Avoid taking new loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.

Reducing Monthly Interest Burden

Rs. 40 lakh debt with Rs. 25,000 income is a serious imbalance.

Your monthly interest burden alone can be unmanageable.

Speak with lenders and request lower interest rates.

Negotiate for an extended loan tenure to reduce EMI.

Avoid late payments to prevent penalties and additional charges.

Earning More Income

With Rs. 25,000 monthly income, repaying Rs. 40 lakh is tough.

Look for additional income sources, even part-time jobs.

Explore online tutoring, weekend coaching, or freelance work.

If possible, upskill to apply for a higher-paying job.

Can you take extra classes at school for additional earnings?

Find small home-based businesses like craft-making or baking.

Use any skills you have to create an extra income stream.

Cutting Down Expenses

Reduce unnecessary expenses wherever possible.

Limit non-essential spending like dining out, entertainment, and subscriptions.

Look for cheaper alternatives for daily expenses.

Create a strict monthly budget and track every expense.

Save on electricity, fuel, and shopping wherever possible.

Avoid personal luxuries until your financial situation improves.

Seeking Family Support

If possible, take help from family members.

Can they provide an interest-free loan for partial debt payment?

Even a small contribution can reduce your debt burden.

Family members may also help with daily expenses for some time.

Transparent communication with them is important.

Avoiding Traps of Loan Apps & Credit Cards

Avoid borrowing from mobile loan apps due to high interest.

Credit cards should not be used for cash withdrawals.

Paying only the minimum due on a credit card leads to more debt.

If you have credit card debt, clear it first due to high interest.

Stick to formal financial institutions for loans.

Exploring Debt Restructuring Options

If you have a bank loan, check if restructuring is possible.

Some banks allow restructuring in financial hardship cases.

This can reduce EMI or provide a temporary relief period.

Approach your lenders with a genuine repayment plan.

Avoid defaulting, as it can hurt your credit score.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments

Do not fall for quick-money schemes or gambling.

Avoid investments that promise unrealistically high returns.

Avoid stock market trading without proper knowledge.

Focus on steady income generation instead of risky bets.

Checking for Any Insurance Policies

If you have LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance, review them.

If surrendering makes sense, reinvest the amount wisely.

Do not stop health insurance, as medical emergencies can worsen finances.

Creating a Step-by-Step Debt Repayment Plan

Pay the minimum due on all loans to avoid penalties.

Focus on repaying the highest-interest loan first.

Negotiate lower interest rates with lenders.

Increase income through side jobs.

Reduce unnecessary expenses to save money.

Explore options like debt consolidation if suitable.

Seek family support where possible.

Avoid new loans unless absolutely necessary.

Finally

Your financial situation is tough but not impossible to fix.

With discipline and effort, debt repayment is possible.

Every small step in saving and earning will help.

Avoid financial mistakes and stay committed to the plan.

With time, your financial situation will improve.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Money
At the age of 35 I had 15 lakhs saving, but due a surgery at home I had to almost empty it, on top of it even I had gone through and surgery plus even my father too ( all three generations nero issue) from +15 I went to 25lakhs of debt From various apps and financial sector. I was able to settle few loans and credits but still my outstanding is approx 20 lakhs. My monthly income is 25000 and my only intrest per month is 12500 How do I get of it asap, as living a normal life seems magic.
Ans: Your financial situation is challenging, but not impossible to fix. With a structured approach, discipline, and patience, you can come out of this debt and regain financial stability. Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get back on track.

Understanding the Current Financial Situation
You had Rs. 15 lakhs in savings, but due to medical emergencies, your finances took a hit.

Now, you are left with Rs. 20 lakhs of debt, with an income of Rs. 25,000 per month.

Your monthly interest alone is Rs. 12,500, which is eating up 50% of your earnings.

The key priority should be reducing interest burden and increasing cash flow.

Steps to Reduce Your Debt Faster
1. Stop Borrowing More Money
Do not take new loans to pay old loans.

Avoid borrowing from friends or family unless it is interest-free and comes with no pressure.

Stay away from personal loans, credit card loans, and payday loans, as they have high interest rates.

2. Prioritise High-Interest Loans First
List down all your loans and interest rates.

Pay off loans with the highest interest rate first.

If possible, negotiate with lenders for lower interest rates.

3. Consolidate Loans for Lower Interest Rate
Check if a bank can give you a low-interest personal loan to clear high-cost debts.

If you have a good credit history, you may get a balance transfer facility on credit cards or personal loans.

Consider a secured loan against any assets, but only if the interest rate is much lower.

4. Increase Your Monthly EMI Payment
Paying only the minimum EMI will keep you stuck in debt for years.

Try increasing your EMI by even Rs. 2,000-3,000 per month to reduce the loan tenure.

Any extra income, bonus, or gift money should go towards clearing debt first.

Boosting Income to Tackle Debt
5. Explore Part-Time Work or Freelancing
A second source of income can help you clear your debt faster.

Consider freelancing, online tutoring, content writing, data entry, or delivery jobs.

If possible, take up overtime or extra shifts at work.

6. Use Your Skills to Earn More
Identify any skills that can help you earn extra money.

If you have a talent for repair work, photography, teaching, or writing, offer your services.

Even small extra earnings of Rs. 5,000-10,000 per month can speed up debt repayment.

7. Rent Out Assets for Passive Income
If you have an extra room, vehicle, or any asset, consider renting it.

This can bring in some cash flow without extra effort.

Cutting Expenses to Free Up More Cash
8. Reduce Non-Essential Spending
Track every rupee spent and eliminate unnecessary expenses.

Stop eating out, buying expensive clothes, or making impulsive purchases.

Switch to cheaper alternatives for groceries, transport, and entertainment.

9. Pause Investments Until Debt is Cleared
Right now, clearing debt should be the priority over investing.

Stop SIPs or investments temporarily and resume them once debts are under control.

Avoid risky investments like stocks or crypto, as losses can worsen your situation.

10. Negotiate Bills and Cut Fixed Costs
Talk to your landlord, service providers, and utility companies for possible discounts.

If possible, shift to a smaller house or a cheaper location to save on rent.

Reduce electricity, water, and mobile bills by using them wisely.

Managing Financial Stress and Mental Health
11. Accept the Situation Without Guilt
Medical emergencies are unpredictable, and you did what was needed for your family.

Do not feel guilty or blame yourself. Instead, focus on the solution.

12. Involve Your Family in Financial Planning
If you have a spouse, siblings, or parents who can help, discuss the situation with them.

They may not be able to give money, but they can support in other ways.

13. Stay Positive and Focused
Financial stress is tough, but worrying too much will not solve the problem.

Stay focused on taking action every month to improve your situation.

Celebrate small wins like closing one loan or saving an extra Rs. 1,000.

Long-Term Financial Stability
14. Build an Emergency Fund Once Debt is Cleared
After clearing debt, start saving at least Rs. 2,000 per month as an emergency fund.

This will help in handling future emergencies without taking loans.

15. Invest Smartly for Future Growth
Once financially stable, invest wisely in well-managed mutual funds for long-term wealth.

Avoid financial products with hidden charges like ULIPs or endowment plans.

16. Get Proper Health Insurance
Medical expenses caused the current debt. Invest in health insurance to prevent this in the future.

Look for affordable policies covering major illnesses.

Finally
The journey out of debt is difficult but achievable with the right approach.

Focus on reducing high-interest loans, earning more, and cutting unnecessary expenses.

Take small steps each month, and within a few years, you will be debt-free and financially stable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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