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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 21, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 19, 2023Hindi
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I'm 60 yrs old & my wife is 54 years old. We are married for 33 years now and have 2 grown-up children. My wife was always having less interest towards the physical relationship. She had lost further interest since last 10 years and totally stopped since last 6 years. She sleeps in a sperate room to avoid any physical relationship. She always says we are too old for physical relationship and let us not do physical relationship now. I feel an urge to have a physical relationship atleast one a week and because of no relationship, I feel irritated and this is also effecting our general day to day relationship. Unfortunately she is not understanding this and is adamant. Please suggest what should to do to resolve this problem?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I think your query has been answered here:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/m-60-yrs-amp-wife-54-married-33-2-grown/5144376
Copy paste this link in your browser to view the answer.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 19, 2023

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Relationship
I'm 60 yrs old & my wife is 54 years old. We are married for 33 years now and have 2 grown-up children. My wife was always having less interest towards the physical relationship. She had lost further interest since last 10 years and totally stopped since last 6 years. She sleeps in a sperate room to avoid any physical relationship. She always says we are too old for physical relationship and let is not do any such thing now. I feel an urge to have a physical relationship atleast one a week and because of no relationship, I feel irritated and this is also effecting our general relationship. Unfortunately she is not understanding this. Please suggest what to do???
Ans: Dear Sunjay,
Many of my responses in similar questions like yours have been:
1. Either your wife is in her menopause phase or has menopaused and this can cause lack of interest in sex due to hormonal changes
OR
2. It's a belief system that once you have children, sex if off the table
If it's 1, then there's a lot more empathy that you can show as a husband and possibly explore options with a doctor who can guide the two of you on sex after menopause
If it's 2, then there's a task you are up against where you need to understand where this belief system set inside of her and what it might take for her to break it

So, irritation from you may not solve your problem but only aggravate it, but if you put your mind into finding a solution, you will be interested in finding the source of the problem and eliminate that.

All the best!

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Then doctor asked her why she stopped and what I said, my wife said that he is asking for female staff and doctor said “I am a doctor and I am not having female staff and there is nothing male and female in doctor’s consultation” my wife got convinced and told me that we are continuing with this doctor and I also shaked my head as consent sign but not aware with the upcoming surprise and then she open her upper body part and doctor did the check up by pressing or whatever doctor does. And I was not ready for this So, I am still in trauma due to this, but I don’t want her to show her body to any male doctor. That picture comes again and again in my eyes. I don’t want to break my relation with wife, because we married 20 years before and we have 2 daughter and I love her too much. But she has disobeyed me and obeyed that doctor. I am in a trauma. What should I do to come out of this trauma. Please let me know.
Ans: To address your trauma, start by having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your feelings. Express your emotions calmly, without blame, so she can understand the depth of your discomfort and help you work through it. It's also crucial to recognize that trust and mutual respect are fundamental in any relationship. Your wife’s decision was likely driven by her need for medical care, not a desire to hurt or disobey you.

Consider seeking professional help for yourself. A therapist or counselor can provide a safe space for you to explore these feelings, work through the trauma, and develop strategies to cope with intrusive thoughts. They can also help you understand the importance of medical privacy and the necessity of certain procedures, which may ease your discomfort over time.

Additionally, you might want to explore couples counseling. This can help both of you navigate this situation together, rebuild trust, and strengthen your relationship. Remember, your goal is to maintain a loving and supportive partnership, and professional guidance can be instrumental in achieving that.

Your love for your wife and your desire to keep the relationship strong is evident. By addressing these feelings head-on and seeking support, you can move towards healing and maintaining the bond you cherish.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7548 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 17, 2025Hindi
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Money
I'm 35 years old. I want to invest INR 65000 for retirement at 50 years old. My current expenses 65000 per month. Please guide me.
Ans: Retiring at 50 with your current lifestyle requires a carefully crafted investment strategy. Here’s a detailed guide tailored to your goal.

Step 1: Define Retirement Corpus Requirement
Current Monthly Expenses: Rs. 65,000.
Inflation Adjustment: At 6% inflation, your expenses will increase significantly by 50.
Retirement Corpus: The corpus must sustain you for at least 30+ years post-retirement.
Lifestyle Goals: Include travel, medical emergencies, and aspirational expenses in calculations.
Step 2: Asset Allocation Strategy
A balanced mix of equity and debt instruments can help grow your wealth steadily while minimizing risks.

1. Equity Mutual Funds (70% Allocation)
Why Equity? High growth potential to beat inflation over the long term.
Recommended Categories: Flexi-cap, mid-cap, and large-cap funds.
SIP/Investable Amount: Invest Rs. 45,500 monthly in equity mutual funds.
2. Debt Instruments (30% Allocation)
Why Debt? Stability and regular income during volatile markets.
Recommended Options: PPF, short-term debt mutual funds, or NPS (Tier I).
SIP/Investable Amount: Allocate Rs. 19,500 monthly.
Step 3: Include Inflation Protection
Inflation reduces the value of money significantly over time.
Your retirement corpus should grow faster than the inflation rate.
Equity exposure helps overcome inflation impacts effectively.
Step 4: Ensure Tax Efficiency
1. Equity Mutual Funds
Tax Rules: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.
Action Plan: Use annual redemption to manage gains below taxable limits.
2. PPF and NPS
Tax Benefits: Both offer tax-saving benefits under Section 80C.
Lock-in Period: Ensure alignment with your retirement timeline.
Step 5: Emergency Fund Creation
Build an emergency fund equivalent to 12 months’ expenses (Rs. 7.8 lakh).
Park it in liquid funds or a high-yield savings account for quick access.
Step 6: Health and Risk Coverage
Health Insurance: Ensure adequate coverage to avoid depleting investments during medical emergencies.
Life Insurance: Use a term plan to secure your dependents until you achieve your retirement goal.
Step 7: Regular Portfolio Reviews
Review your portfolio every six months.
Rebalance based on performance, changing goals, and market conditions.
Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for optimized asset allocation.
Step 8: Additional Recommendations
Avoid Real Estate: Illiquid and high transaction costs make it unsuitable for your timeline.
Avoid Direct Investments: Opt for regular plans via mutual fund distributors guided by a CFP.
Diversify Investments: Explore international mutual funds for added growth.
Step 9: Incremental Contributions
Increase your SIP amount annually by 10-15% to align with income growth.
This ensures your corpus grows significantly over time.
Finally
Achieving financial independence by 50 is ambitious but achievable. Consistency in investments, inflation-adjusted growth, and regular reviews are critical. Focus on disciplined execution of the outlined plan for a secure and fulfilling retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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