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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 25, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
KR Question by KR on Jan 25, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Love Guru,
I have been married to my wife for 10 years.
Five years ago, I met this amazing woman and we are great friends. Plus there is that spark.
Her one condition for friendship was that we don’t tell each other’s families.
I know everything about her, she knows everything about me. We even discuss our sex lives.
We also flirt, but nothing more. I sometimes feel I want more, but she does not. And I respect that.
I want this friendship forever even though, sometimes, I feel a moral question. At the same time, I am not cheating on my wife.
I want to go on holidays with my friend so that we can spend some time aaram se without having to rush home.
Is there anything wrong with this?
KR

Ans:

You’re cheating on your wife, KR. It may not be physical, but it’s cheating all the same.

You’re attracted to someone else and you want to go away on holiday with her without telling your wife? It’s a matter of time before the two of you fall into bed together.

You both are enjoying the attraction and not acting on it, but you’re being dishonest and setting yourself up to have a full-blown affair. It’s just a matter of time.

Let me make this very easy for you -- let's assume your wife is the one who wrote in, wanting to holiday with a special male friend.

Now you tell me -- is there anything wrong with that?

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Hi Luv Guru, I am 45 yrs old and married. My wife is a lovey companion and we have good relationship with our usual fights and disagreement. We also enjoy each other during our physical relationship. My wife has a friend who unfortunately lost her husband a year ago. She is my wife's friend in her morning and evening walks, common kittys etc. She has hardly come to our house. I was not knowing his husband also never met even. But in a freak accident he lost his life. My wife being a emotional person was very upset and cried a lot. She often talks about her friend and her life that how she is doing and becoming normal. One night during our close moment, I told my wife that you care a lot for your friend, why donot you care for her physical needs also. She is young and may be in need of physical relationship with some one. Why do not you help her by introducing me to her? She asked how come this thing came to my mind? I told just casually, she told me that I am dreaming. After that we have not discussed on this subject. Our relationship is normal. Please guide me whether I suggested some thing wrong?
Ans: Are you nuts? Your wife empathises with her friend who’s just been widowed and you think that offering to have extramarital sex with her is not unusual? What are you, some car that she’s going to rent out to her BFF?! If that widow needs support, give it to her without trying to exploit her situation by trying to get into bed with her, that too after asking for your wife’s blessing! There are a million men out there and with God’s grace hopefully she’ll meet someone else, but you my friend, do not need to figure in that equation. You’re lucky your wife didn’t kick you out!
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Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2023Hindi
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |179 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello. Although i am married for 12 years and have a 9 year old son, the relationship with My Wife when it comes to Intimacy is not good. There was a Female Colleague in My Last Company who was very much similar to me when it comes to hobbies and interests. Although i and her left that Job sometime back, but till date i am in touch with her and love talking to her. I talk with her everyday wishing her on WhatsAPP and sometimes chat on life. But i guess have developed feelings for her but i am not sure. Due to lack of sex in my married life, i sometimes also fantasise about her making love. She is ok always meeting me but i fear that if i meet her i might cross the line. Is it ok to feel like that and should i share my feelings with Her?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

A long-term relationship might seem mundane and routine after a while but that does not permit you to develop feelings for someone else. While meeting up with your female colleagues is no big deal, when you have feelings for that colleague and doubt that you might cross a line, do you still think it's worth considering the meet-up? I doubt that.

I understand that you have a good bond with this person, and you are feeling unfulfilled in your marriage, but that still does not allow you to cheat on your wife in good conscience. I suggest three things-

1) Introspect and evaluate why you are having these feelings outside of your marriage.
2) Have a clear discussion about the same with your wife.
3) Work on the issue one step at a time, and work on it together. If needed, see a marriage counselor. We all need a little extra help once in a while.

Every marriage hits a bump or two. It will be okay once you shift your focus to the right place.

Best Wishes!
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Hi, i have 20,000$ USD available to invest. Will transfer them to my NRE account this month. Please suggest best ways i can invest money in india for max returns - both short term and long term
Ans: That's a significant amount to invest, and it's great that you're considering your options carefully. Since you're looking to invest in India, Mutual Funds (MFs) can offer a diversified and potentially rewarding investment avenue. Here's a suggestion for both short-term and long-term investment:

Short-term Investment:
Consider investing a portion of your funds in Liquid Mutual Funds. These funds invest in short-term debt instruments with a maturity period of up to 91 days, providing liquidity and stability. They are ideal for parking funds temporarily while you decide on your long-term investment strategy. The repatriable nature of these funds allows you to easily convert your investment back to USD whenever needed.
Long-term Investment:
For long-term wealth accumulation, you can explore Equity Mutual Funds. These funds invest in a diversified portfolio of stocks, offering the potential for higher returns over the long term. Since you have a longer investment horizon, you can consider a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to spread risk and optimize returns. Equity Mutual Funds have the potential to outperform other asset classes over extended periods.
It's essential to assess your risk tolerance, investment goals, and time horizon before making investment decisions. Additionally, ensure that the investments you choose offer the repatriable feature, allowing you to repatriate the funds back to your foreign account if needed. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your financial objectives and help you make informed investment choices.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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How the mutual funds given more interest rate
Ans: Mutual funds do not offer interest rates like traditional fixed deposits. Instead, mutual funds generate returns through capital appreciation and/or income distribution. Here's how mutual funds can potentially provide higher returns:

Capital Appreciation: Mutual funds invest in a diversified portfolio of securities such as stocks, bonds, and other financial instruments. When the value of these underlying assets increases over time, the mutual fund's net asset value (NAV) also rises, leading to capital appreciation for investors.
Dividend Income: Some mutual funds, particularly equity funds, may distribute dividends to investors from the profits earned by the underlying investments. Similarly, debt funds may generate income through interest payments received from the bonds or fixed-income securities held in the portfolio.
Compounding: Mutual funds offer the benefit of compounding, where returns earned on investments are reinvested to generate additional returns over time. Compounding can significantly boost the growth of investments, especially over long investment horizons.
Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by experienced fund managers who make investment decisions based on thorough research and analysis. Their expertise and active management can potentially generate higher returns compared to individual investors managing their portfolios.
Diversification: Mutual funds pool investments from multiple investors and diversify across various asset classes, sectors, and securities. Diversification helps spread risk and reduce the impact of volatility on investment returns, potentially enhancing overall returns.
It's important to note that mutual fund returns are subject to market risks, and there are no guarantees of returns or capital protection. Investors should carefully consider their investment objectives, risk tolerance, and investment horizon before investing in mutual funds. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice and help investors make informed decisions aligned with their financial goals.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Please suggest a few good Mutual Funds for Short Term Lumpsum investment of 20-30 lakhs
Ans: For a short-term lump sum investment of 20-30 lakhs, consider mutual funds that prioritize capital preservation, liquidity, and potential for modest returns. Here are some options to consider:

Liquid Funds: Ideal for short-term investments, liquid funds invest in short-term debt instruments with high credit quality and low interest rate risk. They offer liquidity and stability while providing slightly higher returns than traditional savings accounts.
Ultra Short Duration Funds: These funds invest in a mix of money market instruments and short-term debt securities, offering slightly higher returns than liquid funds with a slightly longer investment horizon.
Low Duration Funds: Low duration funds invest in short-term debt instruments with slightly longer maturities compared to liquid and ultra short duration funds. They provide a balance between returns and risk, suitable for investors with a moderate risk appetite.
Short Duration Funds: These funds invest in a diversified portfolio of debt and money market instruments with a duration typically ranging from one to three years. They offer higher potential returns than ultra short and low duration funds, with a slightly higher level of risk.
Bank Fixed Deposits (FDs): While not mutual funds, bank FDs offer a safe and predictable return on investment for short-term parking of funds. Consider spreading your investment across multiple banks to benefit from deposit insurance coverage.
Before investing, assess your investment horizon, risk tolerance, and liquidity requirements. Ensure that the chosen funds align with your financial goals and investment objectives. Additionally, review the track record, expense ratios, and fund manager credentials of each mutual fund to make an informed decision.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance and help you select the most suitable mutual funds based on your specific financial situation and objectives.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am 37 years old and plan to take a term life insurance for my family, which consists of my wife and 6 year old daughter. I am confused whether I should choose a normal policy which expires after the coverage period, or one which returns the premiums after the coverage period. Obviously, the latter involves spending a higher sum as premium per month. Also please suggest the companies offering policies with better claim settling history
Ans: opting for a pure term life insurance policy is generally advisable over a return of premium (ROP) policy. ROP policies tend to have higher premiums, as they offer to return premiums at the end of the term if the policyholder survives. However, this feature often comes at the cost of higher premiums, making it less cost-effective in the long run.

With pure term insurance, you pay lower premiums for the same coverage amount, ensuring that your family receives a substantial sum assured in case of your unfortunate demise. It's a straightforward and transparent form of protection without any investment component or frills attached.

When selecting an insurance provider, prioritize companies with a strong track record of claim settlement and customer service. Look for insurers with high claim settlement ratios and positive reviews from policyholders.

Remember, the primary purpose of life insurance is to provide financial protection to your loved ones in your absence. By opting for a pure term policy, you ensure that your family receives the necessary financial support without any unnecessary frills or complexities.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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I have a corpus fund of 20 Lacs. Could you please suggest any investment strategy where I can earn monthly income
Ans: With a corpus fund of 20 lakhs, generating a monthly income requires a prudent investment strategy. Consider allocating a portion of your corpus to income-generating assets while preserving capital. Here are some potential strategies:

Fixed Deposits (FDs) or Recurring Deposits (RDs): Invest a portion of your corpus in FDs or RDs with banks or NBFCs to earn a fixed interest income monthly.
Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing in debt mutual funds that focus on generating regular income through interest payments from debt securities. Choose funds with a track record of stable returns and low expense ratios.
Dividend-Paying Stocks: Invest in dividend-paying stocks of established companies to receive regular dividend income. Focus on companies with a history of consistent dividend payouts and strong fundamentals.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Implement an SWP in mutual funds to systematically withdraw a fixed amount from your corpus each month. Opt for funds with a balanced allocation to equity and debt for stability and growth potential.
Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs) or Infrastructure Investment Trusts (InvITs): Consider investing in REITs or InvITs, which distribute a portion of their rental income or infrastructure project cash flows to investors as dividends.
Annuities: Explore the option of purchasing annuities from insurance companies, which provide a regular income stream in exchange for a lump-sum investment.
Before implementing any investment strategy, assess your financial goals, risk tolerance, and liquidity needs. Diversify your investments across asset classes to mitigate risk and optimize returns. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to develop a personalized income-generating strategy tailored to your financial objectives and circumstances.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Money
I am investing ?3, 000/- each in SIP of Axis Blue Chip Fund, Parag Parikh Flexi Cap, Edelweiss Balanced Advantage, SBI Magnum Mid Cap, Kotak Small Cap and Kotak Gold Fund. Is my portfolio an investment in right direction. I intend to keep the investment for 10 years.
Ans: Your portfolio seems to be well-diversified across various categories of mutual funds, which is a good strategy for long-term wealth accumulation. Let's analyze each fund in your portfolio:

Axis Blue Chip Fund: This fund invests in large-cap stocks with a track record of stable earnings and strong fundamentals. It offers stability and growth potential, making it suitable for conservative investors.
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: This flexi-cap fund has the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations and sectors. It follows a bottom-up stock-picking approach, aiming for long-term capital appreciation. It's suitable for investors seeking diversification and growth.
Edelweiss Balanced Advantage Fund: This fund dynamically allocates between equity and debt instruments based on market conditions. It aims to provide stable returns with lower volatility, making it suitable for investors with a moderate risk tolerance.
SBI Magnum Mid Cap Fund: Mid-cap funds like this one invest in mid-sized companies with the potential for higher growth. They can be more volatile but offer the potential for significant long-term returns.
Kotak Small Cap Fund: Small-cap funds invest in small-sized companies with high growth potential. They can be more volatile but offer the potential for substantial long-term gains.
Kotak Gold Fund: This fund invests in gold ETFs, providing exposure to the precious metal. Gold can act as a hedge against inflation and currency fluctuations, adding diversification to your portfolio.
Overall, your portfolio covers a range of market segments, including large-cap, flexi-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and gold. This diversification can help spread risk and optimize returns over the long term. However, ensure that your portfolio aligns with your risk tolerance and investment goals.

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to review your portfolio and make any necessary adjustments based on changes in market conditions or your personal circumstances. They can provide personalized guidance to help you achieve your investment objectives with confidence over the next 10 years.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Sir I am just start sip UTI NIFTY F 50 3500 UTI NEXT 50 2500 PARAG PARAGH FELXI CAP 4000 NAVI MIDCAP 150 2500 QUANTH SMALL 2000 ITS GOOD SIR
Ans: Your selection of mutual funds for SIP investment appears to be diversified across different market segments, which is generally a good strategy for long-term wealth accumulation. Here are some considerations:

Index Funds: UTI Nifty 50 and UTI Next 50 are index funds that track the Nifty 50 and Nifty Next 50 indices, respectively. These funds provide exposure to top-performing large-cap and mid-cap companies, offering broad market diversification with relatively lower expense ratios.
Flexi-cap Funds: Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund and Navi Midcap 150 are flexi-cap and mid-cap funds, respectively. These funds have the flexibility to invest across companies of various market capitalizations, providing diversification and the potential for higher returns.
Small-cap Funds: Quant Small Cap Fund focuses on investing in small-cap companies with high growth potential. Small-cap funds can be more volatile but offer the potential for significant long-term returns.
Overall, your portfolio is well-diversified across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap segments of the market, which can help spread risk and optimize returns over the long term. However, it's essential to regularly review your portfolio's performance and ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to evaluate your investment strategy and make any necessary adjustments based on changes in market conditions or your personal circumstances. They can provide personalized guidance to help you achieve your investment objectives with confidence.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir , I'm 35 years now , Investing In company PPF ( COAL INDIA LIMITED) 10500 per month, need to further Invest 10000 per month in MF for long term and my risk category is Conservative
Ans: Given your conservative risk profile and the desire for long-term investment, it's prudent to consider mutual fund options that prioritize stability and consistent returns. Here are some suggestions:

Large-cap Equity Funds: These funds invest in well-established companies with a track record of stable earnings and lower volatility. They offer relatively lower risk compared to mid-cap or small-cap funds. Look for funds with a proven track record of delivering consistent returns over the long term.
Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically allocate between equity and debt instruments based on market conditions, aiming to provide stable returns with lower volatility. They can be suitable for conservative investors seeking a balance between growth and capital preservation.
Hybrid Equity Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments, offering diversification and downside protection. They are suitable for investors looking for a combination of growth and stability in their portfolio.
Index Funds: These funds passively track a market index like the Nifty 50 or Sensex, offering broad market exposure with low expenses. They can be a suitable option for conservative investors seeking stable returns without active fund management.
Debt Funds: Consider allocating a portion of your investment to debt funds for stability and income generation. Options include short-duration funds or corporate bond funds, which invest in high-quality fixed income securities.
Before investing, carefully assess the risk-return profile of each fund and ensure it aligns with your investment objectives and risk tolerance. It's also advisable to consult with a Certified Financial Planner to create a personalized investment plan tailored to your financial goals and circumstances. They can provide valuable guidance and help you navigate the complexities of mutual fund investing to achieve long-term wealth accumulation with peace of mind.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Money
I am buying MFs through icici direct It was till now mostly elss to save tax I want to invest in bulk ( no SIP ) now My questio is I gather icici would charge 1.5 % upfront for any buys and 1% on it every year then onwards so after 10 yars i gain say 15 % overall then , 11.5 % ( 1.5 +10 ) will already been charged by icici leaving me with 3.5% returns? Is this correct ? they never rwspond transparently abd give evasive replies
Ans: It's important to clarify the fee structure and its impact on your overall returns when investing through platforms like ICICI Direct. While they may charge an upfront fee and an annual fee for maintaining your investments, the impact on your returns may not be as significant as you've outlined.

Firstly, the upfront fee is typically a one-time charge applied at the time of purchase and is not deducted annually from your investment returns. Similarly, the annual fee (if applicable) is usually a percentage of the assets under management and is deducted from your investment periodically, rather than as a lump sum at the end of the investment period.

While fees can affect your returns, it's essential to consider the potential returns generated by your investments over time. If your investments perform well, they can potentially outweigh the impact of fees on your overall returns.

However, it's crucial to have clarity on the fee structure and its impact on your investments. If you're unsure about the fees charged by ICICI Direct or if you feel they're not being transparent, it may be beneficial to seek advice from a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who can provide unbiased guidance and help you navigate the investment process more effectively. Working with an MFD can bring synergy to your investment journey and ensure you make informed decisions aligned with your financial goals.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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