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Ravi Mittal  |390 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello. Although i am married for 12 years and have a 9 year old son, the relationship with My Wife when it comes to Intimacy is not good. There was a Female Colleague in My Last Company who was very much similar to me when it comes to hobbies and interests. Although i and her left that Job sometime back, but till date i am in touch with her and love talking to her. I talk with her everyday wishing her on WhatsAPP and sometimes chat on life. But i guess have developed feelings for her but i am not sure. Due to lack of sex in my married life, i sometimes also fantasise about her making love. She is ok always meeting me but i fear that if i meet her i might cross the line. Is it ok to feel like that and should i share my feelings with Her?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

A long-term relationship might seem mundane and routine after a while but that does not permit you to develop feelings for someone else. While meeting up with your female colleagues is no big deal, when you have feelings for that colleague and doubt that you might cross a line, do you still think it's worth considering the meet-up? I doubt that.

I understand that you have a good bond with this person, and you are feeling unfulfilled in your marriage, but that still does not allow you to cheat on your wife in good conscience. I suggest three things-

1) Introspect and evaluate why you are having these feelings outside of your marriage.
2) Have a clear discussion about the same with your wife.
3) Work on the issue one step at a time, and work on it together. If needed, see a marriage counselor. We all need a little extra help once in a while.

Every marriage hits a bump or two. It will be okay once you shift your focus to the right place.

Best Wishes!
Asked on - Dec 17, 2023 | Answered on Feb 27, 2024
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Thanks a lot. Will try to find the right path. Hoping it gets better soon.
Ans: Great.

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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am happily married man of age 51 years having daughter of 20 years .recently i got normal friendship with a female colleague we discuss usually our office, children and health .Recently she was under depression and i counseled her a lot and she got better. My wife got to know about this through my daughter who checked my phone , my wife got anxious thinking i am having affair with her ,as she being widow .My wife charcter assanated me when there is no such thing in between me and my colleague .i am depressed please advise
Ans: It’s understandable that you're feeling hurt and frustrated, especially since your intentions were pure and your wife’s reaction came from a place of misunderstanding. In situations like this, transparency and communication are key to mending the trust that’s been shaken.

First, it's important to have a calm, honest conversation with your wife. Explain the nature of your friendship with your colleague, emphasizing that it was based on helping her through a difficult time and nothing more. Be open about why you supported your colleague and reassure your wife that there is no romantic involvement. Acknowledge her feelings, as it’s clear she is reacting out of fear and concern for your relationship.

Your daughter’s involvement complicates the situation, but it can also be an opportunity to show both your wife and daughter that there’s nothing to hide. Let them see your messages if that reassures them, and express that your commitment to your family is unwavering.

Additionally, emphasize that you understand why your wife may have felt uneasy, especially since the colleague is a widow. Sometimes, just being heard and understood can help ease her anxiety. Reassure her that your focus is on your family and that you’re willing to make any adjustments necessary to rebuild her trust.

If the situation continues to cause tension, consider seeking professional counseling as a couple. A therapist can help mediate the conversation and provide tools for rebuilding trust and communication in a healthy way. By showing your commitment to resolving the issue and prioritizing your family, you can work through this misunderstanding together.

..Read more

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024
Money
Sir I am 47 years old and want to retire in next 2-3 years. My portfolio is as under FD-22 L MF-22 L. ( SIP of 33000 running) Gold--10 L EPF--24 L and App Gratuity -10 L Equity--10 L Rental Income -25000 per month from 80 Lacs flat. ( No loan pending now) 1 cr term plan and 10 l mediclaim running Parental House -2.5 cr and Land -2.5 cr. My son is studying in second year of engineering. And my monthly hone expense is not more than 30000-35000 per month. Can I afford to retire ?
Ans: It’s commendable that you've accumulated a diverse portfolio with a clear retirement goal. Let's evaluate if your current portfolio aligns with a secure retirement.

Portfolio Review and Income Assessment
Based on your retirement aspirations, let’s consider each component of your portfolio and its potential to generate sustainable income:

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 22 lakh
FD interest can serve as a steady income source, though it typically yields lower returns, which may not keep up with inflation over the long term.

Mutual Funds (MF): Rs 22 lakh, with a SIP of Rs 33,000
MFs offer potential growth and help combat inflation. Continuing your SIPs could grow this corpus further, providing higher returns than fixed-income sources.

Gold: Rs 10 lakh
Gold adds stability and can be liquidated if needed. However, it might not be the best primary income source.

Employee Provident Fund (EPF): Rs 24 lakh and Gratuity Approx Rs 10 lakh
EPF and gratuity offer safe post-retirement funds. When you withdraw, they can be used as a source of regular income or reinvested for returns.

Equity Investments: Rs 10 lakh
Your equity investments add growth potential. Over time, this can be a crucial source to combat inflation.

Rental Income: Rs 25,000 per month
Rental income provides a consistent cash flow, covering a large portion of your monthly expenses. This income will be valuable post-retirement to meet regular needs.

Expense and Income Projection
With monthly expenses at Rs 30,000–35,000, and rental income already covering most of these costs, your current lifestyle is well supported. However, to retire comfortably, a buffer for healthcare, travel, and inflation is necessary.

Strategy for Retirement Readiness
Based on your assets and expected needs, here’s a recommended approach to secure a steady retirement income:

Mutual Fund Strategy
Continuing your SIPs for the next 2-3 years will help grow your corpus further. Consider moving part of the equity-based mutual funds into debt funds close to retirement to reduce risk while generating returns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
At retirement, you can initiate an SWP from your mutual fund corpus, providing a steady income. This strategy allows capital appreciation with controlled withdrawals, reducing the risk of prematurely depleting your funds.

Fixed Deposit Laddering
To maximise interest rates and ensure liquidity, consider a laddering strategy with your FDs. This will help meet emergency needs and take advantage of better rates.

Rental Income
Your rental income of Rs 25,000 is a reliable source. To protect it, ensure the property remains well-maintained and consider lease renewals with trusted tenants to maintain stability.

Contingency for Healthcare and Son’s Education
Health Insurance: Rs 10 lakh
Assess your current health cover, especially considering rising medical costs. A top-up or super top-up plan could add an extra layer of protection.

Son’s Education
Your son’s education may require additional funding. Any shortfall could be met by partial liquidation of non-core assets, like gold or FDs, if needed.

Estate and Legacy Planning
Your parental house and land provide substantial long-term security. Though not income-generating immediately, they offer future flexibility if liquidated or rented.

Final Insights
Your assets, income sources, and low monthly expenses indicate a strong readiness for retirement. With minor adjustments for healthcare and education, you can comfortably meet your goals. Continuing your current SIPs for the next few years and optimising your FD and MF corpus will help sustain your income post-retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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