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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1201 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
S Question by S on May 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, after long intolerable nuptial relationship I stay separated while my two kids with her. I am a professor, rational, educated preferably remain alone. i love to spend life in scholastic pursuit and making the lives of people better. Now i feel need to have someone around me to take care and be taken care by me and lead a meaningful rest of life. What should I do?

Ans: Dear S,
The time that you could have expanded your social circle, you devoted it entirely to your studies/work...
But all is not lost...the world is connected in unbelievable ways.
Join a gym, a community for charity work, groups that devote themselves to social causes, pursue hobbies that engage in a group.
This will ensure that you will have a chance to interact with others irrespective of gender.
Who knows, you might find someone with similar interests!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 30, 2023Hindi
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Hi, I am a 53 years old male, lost my loving wife last year who was 46, I do have 2 kids who are into higher studies now aged 22 and 18, off late have been feeling very lonely and upset and have not been able to forget my late wife, life seems to be too useless now. Many a times i think of having a new partner for the rest of my life then these feelings also die down. Am quiet worried as to how I will be able to live second half of my life as sooner or later the children will be busy in their own lives, what to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
The journey of grief is so different for each person and you can feel alright on one day and devastated on another day...Give your self ample time to grieve and speak about her; it will be painful but the more you allow yourself to speak about her, you will notice that you are closer to accepting the fact of your loss...it is a journey, so do take your time...
But in the meantime, do make sure that you do take help in the form of a support system of your family and friends. Yes, they do have their own lives but I am sure that they will step in kindly when it is required.
Also, you might find that you socially isolate yourself and move away from everything that used to give you joy. You must find a way of getting back to all of those things reminding yourself that you must live your life too...this is initially a way of filling the vacuum, but soon you will find that it does more that just distract you.

Finding another life partner is a decision that is yours to make; but I will suggest that you heal from the loss and then if and when you feel the time is right, you may seek a life partner. But right now, all you will do is find a huge respite to fill in your loneliness and not be able to form a connection with that person. So, take care of yourself first, heal well and then slowly make life-altering decisions.

All the best...I am sure you can do this!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |366 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Ma'am Ms Kanchan I am 65 and still working on senior position getting very handsome salary plus perks ,having own pent house at Noida own car and with lavish life but my wife is no more she died last year and i have two adult married children's and well settled in NCR . please advise how can i have good life and what is the procedure i should adopt to get a match lady without children's and stay with me as excellent life partner .
Ans: Ashok Ji,
First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and needs. Losing a spouse is incredibly difficult, and it's a positive step that you're looking to find companionship again. Your desire for a life partner who can share your lifestyle and provide mutual support is completely understandable.

To start this journey, consider what qualities and values are most important to you in a partner. Reflecting on your past relationship experiences can help you identify what worked well and what you might want to avoid this time around. Understanding your own needs and preferences will guide you in finding someone who is truly compatible with you.

Given your professional standing and lifestyle, you may want to explore avenues where you can meet like-minded individuals. Networking within your social and professional circles can be a good start. Friends and colleagues might know someone who is also seeking companionship.

Online platforms specifically designed for senior dating could also be helpful. These sites allow you to specify your preferences, such as looking for a partner without children, and can connect you with potential matches who share similar interests and values.

Another option is engaging in social activities, clubs, or groups that align with your interests. Whether it's a hobby, a sport, or a community service group, participating in these activities can naturally lead to meeting new people who share your passions.

When you meet someone who seems like a potential match, take the time to build a genuine connection. Open and honest communication is key. Share your thoughts, feelings, and expectations for the future, and encourage your partner to do the same. Building a strong emotional bond and mutual understanding will lay a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.

Lastly, be patient with yourself and the process. Finding the right person can take time, but maintaining a positive outlook and being open to new experiences will make the journey more enjoyable.

If you feel comfortable, seeking guidance from a relationship coach or counselor could also provide personalized support and advice as you navigate this new chapter in your life.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1201 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Mam i am a 52 year ols women i have never had a secure relationship only who wanted to have s.Marriage in proposals too dint work for me. At late 40 age i met a guy it was all good till start 1 year but since 3 years we just fight my fault to as i have no family no friends and all i have to look after 2 aged parents and i am deep involved my life is just that. This relationship is good to talk on phone as all i do is talk my problems 24 by 7 365 days which i understands upsets him. But i see no effort too from him for meeting planning dates and if i do i pay for it all he never pays . I lost interest felt disappointed after going on saying he never tries to make plans talk future his family finance. I am not sure what i should do stay or live my life alone which i was always doing.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Start fresh and if you had a clean slate, what would you want to draw on it?
All your miseries or what you actually want from life?
When you meet someone new and you dump your set of issues on them, how exactly do you think they are going to be interested in taking you out on a date?
Your prospective life partner is not a dumping yard for your life's problems BUT a person that is going to marry you and support you and who you can trust. And will you start this relationship by actually talking only about your problems? Honestly, you need to ask yourself if you will be interested in a guy who keeps ranting about all things going wrong...
Establish a connection by being on a positive ground and showing the other person that you care and also are interested in knowing about them. This interest will let them lower their guard down and actually connect with you at an emotional level and then you can pursue this as a potential life partner association...somewhere down the line, they will be genuinely interested in being a part of your challenges and that's when you make them your strength to solve these challenges. Am I making sense to you?
Do you see how you have been sabotaging your own future? Dust yourself, become genuinely interested in people not to dump your problems on them but to make a genuine connection and watch how things change for you. Prioritize your life not your problems!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1201 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Relationship
Hi, I am a 36yo guy. Married and have 2 beautiful kids. I am a naturally happy person in life and have achieved reasonable success through my hard work. From last 3 years i am in love with a married girl who works at an office near my workplace. We two believe that we are best suited for each other in every aspect i.e. mental, emotional and physical. We share a great chemistry that we never felt with our respective spouses. We decided that we both cant leave our spouses because of our kids. But very often she keeps on getting crazy and tortures and taunts me that i love my wife more and doesnt give value to her. She is mostly unhappy about this in her life and many times abuses me when she sees that i am a naturally happy and content person. I have even told her that if she wants we can take divorce from our spouses and move-in together. But she never accepts that also and keeps on making my life hard. But i do believe that we both love each other like crazy and my sexual life with her is just out of this world. I have a very high libido and she satisfies me like no other girl. My question is how can i make her sane and make her trust me that i am more inclined towards her?
Ans: Dear Avinash,
I am sure by now you realize that having parallel lives is not easy. Maybe you are at that stage where a decision must be made...
You owe at least that much to your respective spouses who have nothing to do this life of yours...

The lady in question wants the cake and wants to eat it too...obviously she needs to see that if she wants her marriage, then you are going to keep your marriage as well and with that all the insecurities that arise must also be accepted as this is something that the two of you got into willingly...did she not know that a relationship outside of marriage comes with its set of challenges like insecurities, doubts, fears, instability and more? I guess it's not about you making her sane and trust you BUT for the two fo you to come to some sort of a decision on where all this is leading?

Again, I say this...leading two lives in parallel ain't easy; especially on an emotional level!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1201 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2024
Relationship
Hi Anu, I have been reading since long the advices you give to others expecting that there can be an identical issue which i am suffering, i am 48yrs and my wife 42yrs married for 22yrs & having grown up children, over period of time my wife has become more dominating expecting me to listen and follow everything what she says, everything was going fine for until last six years when she was following me as a dutiful wife, since last 6-7yrs she is disinterested in sex also, i sit and speak with her trying to address all the issues, but things get back to ZERO within days, she has turned very short tempered and egoistic, shouting and using foul language in rage at times, we both are highly educated and give lectures at college with limited reasonable income, the problem is she compares her life to others and disturbs our life, ours is a marriage against parents so both the side relatives are little indifferent and we are not extroverts or that persons who are outgoing to change all that, we just lead our life within ourselves and try to help the relatives whenever they come to us. My question is that is it not cruel for a wife to deprive the husband of sex and develop unreasonable expectations comparing the lifestyles of others. when at peace my wife suggests that i can look outside for sex and she is ok with it but i don't believe in it and in her words, at times in rage she keeps asking for divorce uttering foul language, i keep reminding her that emotions, anger and rage shall only aggravate the issues we should know what we actually want and seek it speaking to each other, i feel that my wife doesn't know what she wants from herself or from me or from life, Anu, Is this all that pre-menopause frustrations which is building up or is it some mental issues which are surfacing due to negligence from me or our relatives? Please suggest? Thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's understand it in 3 ways..

1) Whether your wife is in pre-menopause or perimenopause or menopause stage can be determined only by a doctor. A lot of material floats on the internet convincing people of one over the other BUT it's important to get it validated by a doctor that will help your wife understand what is going on with her body and how it impacts her mind...

2) It is also possible that the current sex routine maybe boring to her and infusing it with some spice can get things going? So, think out of the box here...

3) Also, you might want to think if the emotional bond between the two of you has broken down; women respond to sex easier when they feel emotionally connected and safe with their man...

What will be useful in your situation is: to reconnect with her and aim to connect with her emotionally. This will help her in conveying to you what might be the problem and then it gets easier to solve it or take necessary steps...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |418 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |418 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |418 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Milind I am 52 years old single woman, from small town and who has worked hard ro reach to level in corporate with good salary. I have a corpus of about 5 crores and small flat in tier 2 town. I dont enjoy yhis new job wirh reputed brand and at a senior level as i dont find ut engaging or doing justice to role. My parents are old and i worry for rhem ans want to spent rkmw with them. With this corpus can i take a call to leave job and get decent income of atleast 2-2.5 lac a month. I have been quite action oriented, but now my mind and body feel exhasuted and also fear rhat without a job i will become lazy. Also living with parents will be a joy, at the same time resteictive to eating or socializing. I am quite concious ,if i leave this well paying ,senior role job with a big renonwed corporate which many of my friends aspired for and whole lot of people congratulated me ,they will think i was not able to justify my role,hence left . I dont want that impression at last stage of career as whole life i have been seen as hard working ,passionate professional. Such rhoughts are taking toll on my mental health. Please advise what should be done
Ans: Hello;

With the corpus that you have (5 Cr) you may buy an immediate annuity from a life insurance company and can expect to receive monthly payout of 2.5 L (pre tax)from the very next month. 6% annuity rate considered, if you shop around and negotiate you may get a better rate.

You can opt for increasing annuity to account for inflation and return of purchase price to your nominee, after you.

Ensure good health insurance policy to cover yourself and your parents.

Think about some vocation which you would like to pursue passionately after retirement.

You are seeking retirement from regular 9 to 5 job not from pursuit of your passion/goals.

It could be in the role of an consultant, counselor or educator.

You should take the decision which you feel is appropriate for you irrespective of what people comment because they will comment in any case.

Learn to ignore such people.

Happy Retirement!!

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |418 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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