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My LDR Boyfriend of 3 Months Wants to Get Married Before 40—Is He Serious?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

i have ldr bf and our relationship going to be 3 months soon but i know him since Oct2023 and and have been met for 2 times so far, i like him since May 2024 and he has the same feelings too. But yesterday i was asked about how about his wishes (marry before 40yo) because i’m going to other country to work, he said “it is only my wish and i think we are too fast because we only met 1 time (as a couple) and havent know close each other yet”. but then after we vidcall, he changed his profile pic. Do you all think he is serious or not? he is 37 and me 25yo.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern, but I cannot completely dismiss his argument- you have, after all, met only once or twice. That might be enough for you, but for some others, it can be a tad too fast. But at the same time, if you are in a rush or if you think there are other signs that indicate that he might not be serious, please rethink the relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. You have not been dating for a very long time, and there is still time for you to reconsider before you are too deep into this.

Hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1477 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?
Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
Money
I m 48 years old. Married with no kids. I have Pf of 12 lakhs, ppf of 15 lakhs, NPS 16 lakhs. MF 50 lakhs. Fd 5 lakhs. I live in metro. I have own house. When can I retire at the earliest?
Ans: You are 48 years old, married, with no children.

Your retirement savings include:

Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 12 lakhs

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 15 lakhs

National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 16 lakhs

Mutual Funds: Rs. 50 lakhs

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs. 5 lakhs

You own your home and live in a metro city.

This forms a solid foundation for early retirement planning.

Key Financial Goals to Consider
Retirement Corpus: Ensuring your savings last 35+ years post-retirement.

Lifestyle Expenses: Covering day-to-day costs in a metro city.

Healthcare: Planning for medical expenses beyond insurance coverage.

Inflation: Managing the rising cost of living over time.

Each goal will help us determine when you can retire comfortably.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
At 48, you are close to traditional retirement age.

Your current corpus totals Rs. 98 lakhs across investments.

Without kids, future expenses may be more predictable.

However, healthcare and inflation remain key concerns.

Let’s break down if your corpus is enough to retire early.

Estimating Retirement Expenses
Living in a metro city usually means higher expenses.

Consider daily costs, utilities, transportation, and leisure activities.

Don’t forget to factor in unexpected medical emergencies.

Estimate your current monthly expenses and adjust for inflation.

This helps identify the income needed post-retirement.

The Role of Inflation
Inflation reduces your money’s value over time.

Even with a modest rate, expenses double in 12-15 years.

Investments must outpace inflation to maintain your lifestyle.

Equity exposure helps achieve inflation-beating returns.

Ignoring inflation risks depleting your corpus too soon.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds (Rs. 50 lakhs): Offer growth potential for long-term needs.

NPS (Rs. 16 lakhs): Provides retirement-focused growth with tax benefits.

PPF (Rs. 15 lakhs): Safe, tax-free returns but limited liquidity.

PF (Rs. 12 lakhs): Offers stable, long-term growth.

FDs (Rs. 5 lakhs): Provides safety but low returns after tax.

A diversified mix, but needs optimization for early retirement.

Generating Regular Income After Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for monthly income.

SWPs offer regular payouts while keeping your investments growing.

Allocate part of your corpus to debt funds for stable income.

Equity investments continue to grow for long-term needs.

This strategy balances income and growth effectively.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio for Retirement
Shift gradually from high-risk to balanced investments.

Keep 60-70% in equity for long-term growth initially.

Allocate 30-40% to debt instruments for stability.

Review and adjust annually based on market conditions.

This approach reduces risks while maintaining growth.

Managing Fixed Deposits Wisely
Rs. 5 lakhs in FDs provides liquidity but low returns.

Consider shifting some to debt mutual funds for better returns.

Keep a portion as an emergency fund for quick access.

Avoid over-reliance on FDs, as they lose value against inflation.

Optimizing FDs enhances overall portfolio returns.

Planning for Healthcare Costs
Medical expenses rise sharply with age.

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage.

Consider a top-up health policy for additional protection.

Build a dedicated health emergency fund.

Healthcare planning is critical, especially without employer coverage post-retirement.

Emergency Fund for Unexpected Expenses
Maintain an emergency fund covering 12-18 months of expenses.

Keep it in liquid mutual funds or high-interest savings accounts.

This prevents the need to withdraw from long-term investments during crises.

Financial security comes from being prepared for the unexpected.

Tax Planning for Retirement
Post-retirement income will still be taxable.

SWP from mutual funds is tax-efficient compared to interest income.

Long-term capital gains on equity have favorable tax treatment.

Use senior citizen tax benefits once eligible.

Effective tax planning increases your net income.

Identifying the Earliest Retirement Age
Your corpus is close to Rs. 1 crore.

To retire now, this corpus must sustain for 35+ years.

Consider working for a few more years to boost savings.

Alternatively, reduce lifestyle expenses for early retirement.

The earliest retirement age depends on your income needs and risk tolerance.

Strategies to Boost Your Retirement Corpus
Increase investments in growth-oriented mutual funds.

Maximize contributions to PPF and NPS for tax-free growth.

Reinvest returns from FDs into higher-yielding instruments.

Delay retirement by 2-3 years to strengthen your corpus.

Small changes today can make a big difference later.

Importance of Regular Portfolio Reviews
Review your financial plan annually.

Adjust for changes in expenses, income, or market conditions.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right asset mix.

Financial planning is a continuous process, not a one-time task.

Staying Disciplined with Your Investments
Avoid panic-selling during market fluctuations.

Stick to your long-term goals and investment strategy.

Don’t make emotional decisions based on short-term trends.

Discipline is the key to successful retirement planning.

Planning for Legacy and Estate
Create a will to specify how your assets will be distributed.

Appoint nominees for all your financial accounts.

Consider setting up a trust if needed for complex situations.

Estate planning ensures your wealth is managed as per your wishes.

Reducing Expenses for Early Retirement
Identify non-essential expenses that can be reduced.

Focus on experiences rather than material possessions.

Optimize utility bills, subscriptions, and lifestyle costs.

Lower expenses mean less stress on your retirement corpus.

Diversification: Spreading Risk for Safety
Don’t put all your money in one type of investment.

Spread across equity, debt, and fixed-income instruments.

Diversification reduces risk and improves returns.

A well-diversified portfolio offers stability in all market conditions.

Managing Lifestyle Inflation
Lifestyle inflation increases expenses as income grows.

Post-retirement, control lifestyle costs to preserve wealth.

Focus on meaningful activities that don’t require high spending.

Smart lifestyle choices help stretch your retirement corpus.

Building Passive Income Streams
Explore passive income sources like dividends from mutual funds.

Rental income (if applicable) can supplement retirement income.

Passive income reduces dependence on your retirement corpus.

Multiple income streams provide financial security.

Finally
You’ve built a strong financial foundation with Rs. 98 lakhs in savings.

However, retiring immediately may strain your corpus over 35+ years.

Consider working for a few more years to boost savings.

Alternatively, reduce expenses to make early retirement feasible.

Stay invested, review regularly, and focus on long-term goals.

This approach will secure a comfortable and stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025
Money
I want guidance on retirement planning. Having corpus of 3 CR in mutual funds, shares and 1.5 CR savings in FD. With no bank loans and own home. Kids are in class 1 and class 5. I need to provide support for their education which might overall cost around 2 CR. Is my corpus enough to retire now and take care of cost of living. My age is 45 years. My monthly expense is around 1.5 lakhs. I have medical insurance policy of 20 lakhs.
Ans: You are 45 years old and considering retirement.

You have Rs. 3 crores in mutual funds and shares.

You hold Rs. 1.5 crores in fixed deposits.

You own your home, with no outstanding loans.

Your kids are in Class 1 and Class 5.

You estimate their education will cost around Rs. 2 crores.

Your monthly expense is Rs. 1.5 lakhs.

You have a medical insurance cover of Rs. 20 lakhs.

This is a strong financial base. Your savings reflect disciplined planning.

Key Financial Goals to Address
Retirement Corpus: Will your current corpus last for the next 35-40 years?

Children’s Education: Ensuring Rs. 2 crores for their future needs.

Healthcare: Covering medical costs beyond insurance.

Lifestyle Expenses: Maintaining your current lifestyle post-retirement.

We’ll assess if your current assets can cover all these goals.

Evaluating Your Retirement Readiness
Your monthly expense is Rs. 1.5 lakhs, or Rs. 18 lakhs annually.

Over 35 years, considering inflation, this will grow significantly.

Your corpus must generate enough returns to cover rising expenses.

You’ll also need to manage emergencies without affecting your core investments.

Let’s break down how to achieve this.

Analyzing Your Corpus: Is It Enough?
Rs. 3 crores in mutual funds and shares provide growth potential.

Rs. 1.5 crores in FDs offer safety but lower returns.

Total corpus: Rs. 4.5 crores.

Deducting Rs. 2 crores for children’s education leaves Rs. 2.5 crores.

Can Rs. 2.5 crores sustain your lifestyle for 35+ years?

This depends on investment returns, inflation, and disciplined withdrawals.

Importance of Diversification and Asset Allocation
Balance between equity (growth) and debt (stability) is key.

Equity helps fight inflation with higher returns.

Debt provides stable income with lower risk.

A mix of both ensures steady growth and safety.

Review your current allocation and adjust if needed.

Generating Regular Income Post-Retirement
Use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from mutual funds for monthly income.

SWP offers regular payouts while the remaining corpus keeps growing.

Keep a part of your corpus in debt funds for stable income.

Equity portion helps the corpus grow over time.

This strategy maintains liquidity and long-term growth.

Managing Fixed Deposits for Optimal Returns
Rs. 1.5 crores in FDs is safe but returns are low after tax.

Consider shifting a portion to debt mutual funds for better returns.

Debt funds are tax-efficient if held for more than three years.

Keep some FDs for emergencies, but don’t rely solely on them.

This improves returns while keeping your money secure.

Planning for Children’s Education
Rs. 2 crores needed for both children’s education.

Start dedicated SIPs in equity mutual funds for this goal.

Equity offers higher growth potential over 10-15 years.

For the older child, reduce equity exposure gradually as college nears.

For the younger child, maintain higher equity exposure for longer.

This ensures funds grow to meet rising education costs.

Protecting Against Health-Related Risks
You have Rs. 20 lakhs in health insurance, which is good.

Review the policy to ensure it covers major illnesses.

Consider a top-up health policy for additional coverage.

Keep an emergency health fund for out-of-pocket expenses.

Healthcare costs can rise unexpectedly, even with insurance.

Inflation: The Silent Risk
Inflation reduces the value of money over time.

Your expenses will likely double in 12-15 years.

Equity investments help beat inflation with higher returns.

Fixed-income investments alone won’t keep up with inflation.

Keep this in mind while planning your withdrawals.

Building an Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering 12-18 months of expenses.

Keep it in liquid mutual funds or savings accounts for easy access.

This fund prevents you from dipping into retirement corpus during crises.

Financial security isn’t just about growth; it’s about preparedness.

Risk Management Beyond Insurance
Life is unpredictable, even with the best plans.

Diversify investments to manage market risks.

Rebalance your portfolio regularly based on market conditions.

Avoid putting all money in one asset class.

Smart risk management keeps your finances stable during tough times.

Optimizing Tax Efficiency
Post-retirement, tax planning becomes crucial.

SWP from mutual funds offers tax efficiency compared to interest income.

Long-term capital gains from equity have tax benefits.

Use senior citizen tax benefits once eligible.

Efficient tax planning increases your real income.

Planning for Legacy and Estate
Create a will to distribute your assets as per your wishes.

Appoint nominees for all your investments.

Consider setting up a trust if needed for complex situations.

Estate planning ensures smooth transfer of wealth to your family.

Regular Review of Your Financial Plan
Review your financial plan at least once a year.

Adjust for changes in expenses, goals, or market conditions.

Rebalance your investments to maintain the right asset mix.

Financial planning is not a one-time task. It needs regular attention.

Staying Disciplined with Your Finances
Avoid unnecessary withdrawals from your corpus.

Don’t panic during market fluctuations.

Focus on long-term goals and stay invested.

Discipline is the key to successful retirement planning.

Final Insights
You’ve built a solid foundation with Rs. 4.5 crores in assets.

However, with Rs. 2 crores needed for education, the remaining corpus may fall short.

Consider working for a few more years to strengthen your corpus.

Alternatively, reduce lifestyle expenses to ease financial pressure.

Stay invested wisely, review regularly, and plan for the long term.

This approach will secure both your retirement and your children’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi i am 38 years old, my home worth 1.5cr, fd 60L, gold of 20Li have two kids of 10&4 years, how I can plan for their education and my retirement at50 and my salary ll be one Lakh
Ans: Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You are 38 years old with a goal to retire at 50.

Your home is worth Rs. 1.5 crores.

You have Rs. 60 lakhs in fixed deposits.

You own Rs. 20 lakhs worth of gold.

Your monthly salary is Rs. 1 lakh.

You have two children aged 10 and 4.

Your focus is on education planning and retirement planning.

This is a strong starting point. You’ve managed your finances well so far.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Before planning, we need clarity on two major goals:

Children’s Education: Estimate costs for higher education. Costs are rising due to inflation.

Retirement at 50: You’ll need to maintain your lifestyle without active income.

These goals will guide your investment and savings strategy.

Estimating the Future Cost of Children’s Education
For your 10-year-old, higher education is about 8 years away.

For your 4-year-old, it's around 14 years away.

Considering inflation, education costs may double or even triple.

A professional degree might cost Rs. 30-50 lakhs in the future.

Plan with this in mind to avoid surprises later.

Planning for Retirement at 50
You plan to retire in 12 years.

After retirement, your expenses will continue for at least 30-35 years.

This requires a steady income without depending on a job.

You need a large corpus to support your lifestyle.

Managing Fixed Deposits Effectively
Rs. 60 lakhs in FDs is good, but FDs offer low returns after tax.

Inflation can reduce the real value of FD returns over time.

Gradually shift some FD amounts to mutual funds for better growth.

This ensures your money grows faster than inflation.

Gold as an Investment
Rs. 20 lakhs in gold adds diversification to your portfolio.

However, gold doesn’t provide regular income or high growth.

Consider keeping some gold for emergencies or gifting.

For wealth creation, focus more on financial instruments like mutual funds.

Building an Education Fund for Your Children
Start dedicated SIPs for both children in equity mutual funds.

Equity can provide higher returns over long periods.

For the 10-year-old, choose balanced funds to reduce risk as the goal nears.

For the 4-year-old, focus more on equity-oriented funds for higher growth.

Increase SIP amounts whenever your income rises.

Review and adjust the SIPs regularly.

Retirement Planning: Creating a Strong Corpus
Start SIPs dedicated to your retirement goal.

Focus on diversified equity mutual funds for growth.

Increase your SIPs yearly as your salary grows.

Invest any bonuses or extra income into these funds.

Closer to retirement, shift some funds to safer options like debt funds.

This reduces risk as you near retirement.

Insurance Planning for Risk Protection
Review your life insurance coverage.

Ensure you have enough cover to protect your family’s future.

Term insurance is cost-effective and provides high cover.

Also, have health insurance separate from your employer’s policy.

This ensures continuous coverage even after retirement.

Managing Expenses for Better Savings
Your salary is Rs. 1 lakh per month.

Track your expenses to identify saving opportunities.

Aim to save at least 30-40% of your income.

Reduce unnecessary expenses to increase your investment amount.

Small changes can lead to big savings over time.

Creating an Emergency Fund
Set aside 6-12 months of expenses as an emergency fund.

Keep this in a liquid fund or savings account for quick access.

This protects your investments from unexpected withdrawals.

An emergency fund provides financial security.

Surrendering LIC or Investment-Linked Insurance (If Applicable)
If you have LIC or ULIP policies, review their returns.

Such policies often offer low returns compared to mutual funds.

Consider surrendering them if they’re not beneficial.

Reinvest the amount in mutual funds for better growth.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner before making changes.

Tax Planning for Maximum Savings
Use Section 80C to save tax through PF, PPF, or ELSS mutual funds.

Invest in NPS for additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B).

Claim deductions for health insurance premiums under Section 80D.

Efficient tax planning increases your investable surplus.

How to Allocate Your Investments
Education Fund: Start SIPs based on each child’s education timeline.

Retirement Fund: Invest separately for retirement with a long-term focus.

Emergency Fund: Build and maintain this for unexpected needs.

Gold: Keep a portion but focus more on financial investments.

Diversification helps manage risk and improve returns.

Reviewing and Adjusting Your Financial Plan
Review your financial plan yearly.

Adjust SIP amounts based on income changes.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right mix of equity and debt.

Regular reviews keep your goals on track.

Staying Disciplined with Investments
Avoid withdrawing from your investments unless it’s for the intended goal.

Don’t react to short-term market fluctuations.

Focus on long-term growth and stay invested.

Discipline is key to wealth creation.

Final Insights
You’ve built a solid financial base.

Focus on structured investments for your children’s education and your retirement.

Mutual funds through SIPs offer growth and flexibility.

Review your plan regularly and stay disciplined.

This approach will help you achieve financial freedom by 50.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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