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My LDR Boyfriend of 3 Months Wants to Get Married Before 40—Is He Serious?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |599 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

i have ldr bf and our relationship going to be 3 months soon but i know him since Oct2023 and and have been met for 2 times so far, i like him since May 2024 and he has the same feelings too. But yesterday i was asked about how about his wishes (marry before 40yo) because i’m going to other country to work, he said “it is only my wish and i think we are too fast because we only met 1 time (as a couple) and havent know close each other yet”. but then after we vidcall, he changed his profile pic. Do you all think he is serious or not? he is 37 and me 25yo.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern, but I cannot completely dismiss his argument- you have, after all, met only once or twice. That might be enough for you, but for some others, it can be a tad too fast. But at the same time, if you are in a rush or if you think there are other signs that indicate that he might not be serious, please rethink the relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. You have not been dating for a very long time, and there is still time for you to reconsider before you are too deep into this.

Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

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Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?
Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 08, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Could be many reasons. Maybe his physical needs aren't being met. Maybe he is not attaracted to you anymore . Love is not permanent in all scenarios. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't have expectations

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |599 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5989 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2025
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Sir, my daughter got 88% in xii science with PCMB in 2025. She obtained around 87 percentile in JEE and with good rank she is expected to seal a seal in b.tech marine engg in IMU Kolkata and also in integrated M.Tech softeare in VIT Bhopal. Though, JoSSA she may get lower branches in gfti. Since, she is good in academic, my intention was to convince her for Acad courses for teachhng at school or college level. I and my wife are school teachers and really unaware of scope in the above areas. Will you please guide me, what will be good for her, in term of her long promising career. We hail from General Category. Regards
Ans: For a long-term career, Integrated M.Tech Software Engineering at VIT Bhopal (90–95% placements, Amazon/Microsoft recruiters) offers versatile tech opportunities in AI/ML, data science, and software roles, aligning with industry growth and providing flexibility for academia via research or teaching roles post-M.Tech. Marine Engineering at IMU Kolkata (80–90% placements, Chevron/NYK recruiters) is ideal for niche maritime careers but limits diversification outside core shipping sectors. While GFTI lower branches (e.g., Civil/Mechanical) via JoSSA ensure institutional prestige, they may lack alignment with her academic strengths (PCMB) and tech aspirations. For academia, a B.Ed + M.Ed pathway (UGC NET eligibility) offers stable teaching careers but underutilizes her engineering potential. Prioritize VIT Bhopal for tech innovation and interdisciplinary growth, leveraging its coding ecosystems and global collaborations. If inclined toward teaching, pursue M.Tech + Ph.D. post-engineering for lecturer roles. Backup options include MBA for managerial pathways or government technical roles via GATE. Confirm curriculum depth and internship support during enrollment. All the BEST for your Daughter's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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