Dear Madam, Iam a 45 year old woman. Ever since I was a kid I had went through lot of bullying by my rekatives for the way I look but my parents never supported me in any way instead found fault in ne for complaining but would always support my younger brother. Somewhere down the line I thought this was all I deserved and let oeople walk all over me without standing up for myself. Now that Iam a mother myself of a 15 year old kid with dyskexia, i have sacrificed my career fir his sake and still get bullied by my relatives dir being a useless house wife. I have started drawing boundaries around me to protect my mental sanity and allow only few people in it which invludes a small group of friends and my son and husband. I avoid making new friends. I have also stopped attending any social events that involves my relatives. Meanwhile I have started deeply resenting my parents who want ne to take care of them but openly favour my brother who lives abroad. I have taken care of them everytime they require neducal treatments yet my father openly says that he plans to give all his property to my brother who is never coming back. Its not about the money here but the apathy they have towards me that kills me from inside. I have tried to talk to them multiple times but each time my mother creates a scene and puts the enture blame on me. For once in my life i want my parents to love me unconditionally the way I do with my son. Am i wrong to expect that? This is causung lot of health issues in me. Please advise.

Hi Ma'am,I'm a 23-year-old woman. For as long as I remember, I have been called out, insulted and shamed by my family. They have always threatened to stop all kinds of financial support if I ever disobeyed or questioned them. I have always tried my best at my studies and for my career. Even though, after seeing my achievements, their opinion of me has improved. But they're never truly happy. There's always something wrong with me. While I understand, my family only wants the best for me and probably this their way of caring for me. But the constant criticism has always impacted my self-confidence and self-image. I have missed out on several opportunities during my college years and failed to be proactive solely because of low self-esteem. I was bullied by my college mates during this period and I fell into depression and anxiety. I also developed bulimia and starved myself, hoping that losing weight could grant me more acceptance from my family and peers. In 2021, after completing my undergraduate degree, I was diagnosed with Meniere's disease and suffered hearing loss in my left ear. Furthermore, I was getting rejected from the universities I had applied to. But this turn of life changed me for better. I learnt to value myself more and ignored other people's opinion. I invested in mindfulness and spirituality and appreciated all the blessings that I had. I had improved my self-image and self-confidence greatly. Unfortunately, I had to shift to my family home and live with my extended family members. Now the nitpicking and taunts have increased even more and have kind of ruined all the improvements I made over the year. I have become more irritable and I am losing my patience with them. They have triggered all my sensitive issues again and this has greatly impacted my self-esteem all over again. With God's grace, I have received an opportunity to shift abroad and pursue a postgraduate education. I don't want to keep any kind of hard feelings against my family before leaving. I know that their opinions don't define me but yet I end up crying after every insult and argument. I want to heal and I want to forgive and forget. I have tried talking to them and have even apologised to peacefully end arguments. Yet, they repeat those words every day and each day ends in failure. I know and understand that I cannot change them. But, how do I learn to accept them when they keep on hurting me? Furthermore, the fact that they are financially supporting makes me feel guilty for questioning their behaviour. I am struggling with depression and anxiety again and I'm finding it hard to consider their emotional standpoint when my own mental well-being is messed up. How do I cope up with my mental health when I being disparaged every day?I would like to hear your opinion from a third person point-of-view and any advice would be appreciated.

Hello Anu, I am from Lucknow, with a pregnant wife and a son. I moved out of Lucknow after 2006 and since then I have never lived with them. But since Covid, I suffered a few setbacks in career and had to move back to Lucknow to live with my parents. It was a move out of force. Now, I am kind of doing ok in my career but feel like stuck at home. I don't get respect from my parents, there's absolutely no communication. My father is borderline narcissist and alpha male - everything has to happen the way he wants. His behavior changes drastically if we do anything without asking him or his consent. My mother and wife are not in best terms though I cannot say they are enemies. My mother has a super soft spot for my sister who lives in another city, she seems the pain even for my lady cook but not for my pregnant wife. Some times I have seen things in front of my eyes and I didn't like how my wife was treated. I feel no one deserves this - I would not have tolerated it myself so I cannot expect her. Now the thing is I want to move out of my parents place but without hurting their feelings. They are attached to their grandson and I feel I will be called out as the bad guy here if I try to move out. I feel that some distance will actually mend things as things were not this bad when I was living in another city. I don't know how to put up this conversation since it will mostly be striked out in the first place, I am scared of their reaction as they don't really support me or my concerns most of the time. I feel stuck every day and want to live life on my own, want to do things on my own. Make mistakes, but my mistakes. Also if I start this conversation, there's a chance that my parents might feel that this is because of my wife! Though that's not the case, it's me. If you can provide me any inputs or help, that would be great.

My age is 42 years now. I am an elder son in my family, then my sister and two younger brothers. My father was a clerk in state govt. office. Being an elder son I did all my duties at par with my father. I spent my entire 9 years’ salary on my family, it includes sister marriage, brothers education (Engineering/Polytechnic), their coaching for competitive exams, books other monthly expenses. Under my guidance they both got job. I also performed co-applicant to Education loan to one of my brother. But now my father, mother and brothers betrayed (Beyimaan). Because my younger brother’s wife was selected in state govt. job and my wife is not employed. They kicked off us from their house. All it happens like TV serial. Now my wife also get job in central government under my guidance. My family member also did same with my younger brother and kicked - off them also. Now they ask me to live with them. I am very much in stress. I want to totally detach with my family. I want to close my all relationships with them. I also don’t want my father’s property. But every now and then they call me. They never help me. We live in same city. Please help me out. I don’t want to be part of B. P. and Sugar patient. I want to be a Vinod Khanna dialogue Parva Nahi from film Dayavan.

Hi Ma’am, My parents are not agreeing for my marriage with an intercaste marriage and this is not the first intercaste marriage one of cousin tried convincing their parents for 5 yrs but eventually gave up and opted for court marriage today they are very happy even their parents has also accepted the marriage. In my case , my parents are mocking me for my feelings and emotionally abusing me and have crossed all their limits. They know my boyfriend from class 10th and their family too but the only issue is with then what others will say . My mother called my boyfriend and kept on saying leave me alone and in return my boyfriend said aunty I know this is the big thing we will not take any drastic step and without your approval we will not get married and I’m willing to wait for your daughter even if it is waiting for for 5-6 yrs . We both are doing pretty good in our career we both have been so focused with out life. But after this call she kept on saying he’s very manipulative as he did not disrespect my mother and as a result of this my mother and father kept on harassing me by saying ill and foul words to me. They are so lost in their ego that I am suffering from 104 degree fever and they are ignoring this fact kept on saying foul words to me. My mother day and night she’s entering my room is saying Every second I’m giving you baddua ( wishing something bad happen to me) . I put forth my point but they are not in state of listening and somewhere very unhappy that I’m not financially dependent on them so they are keep bashing my job. I have stopped talking to them regarding this topic and just having very minimal conversation with them and I’m not misbehaving with them for this also they are scolding me they want to act normally and come sit with them.

I am 33 yrs old, recently lost my loving husband of 35yrs old to a sudden massive heart attack. Since we had a loving bond in my in laws family, and they didnt want to go back to their village, i offered them to shift the rented apartment, to a place closer to my maternal housez wo that i can live with my own parents and be close to them as well and keep visiting on and off. I have a brother in law, same age as me, who left his job son after his brothers death, in pretext of studying for exam. I supported him saying its ok . Ill find a job and pay the rent till you get a job for urself after your exams and offered to pay 50-50 rent, for the house i wont even live in. My maternal family was not fond of this, but still supported me, knowing my good intentions.With time their thoughts changed or what i dont know, his brother doesnt study at all, and emotionally harasses mw saying you told you will take full responsibility and now you are backing off. His parents on the other hand insulted and accused my parents for trying to take the money of life i surance which is in wife's name. They feel they have right on all the claim amount that I (his wife) is nominee off and that me and my family wither changed the nominee name after my husband's death or when he was alive, tactfully forced him to put my name as nominee. I lost respect for all the three. I would have even given all the money to them, but now, i cant take their insults and false accusations any more. Even tried explaining them in a family meeting. But in vain. If anything, they start crying and showing that how their loss is bigger than mine and how we are being such vultures ...although i understand their loss, but they ought to know my loss is same ,if not less. Should i not stand up for my parents and myself? His brother does not want to take any responsibility and shamelessly tried to emotionally torture me into apting their rent and giving all that my husband has left in my name (ps. Its not a big amount ) but still, its not about the money for me...its about the trust and how little they think of me. What do you think should i be doing? I gave his brother a mouthful the other day and blocked his number, as he was continuously sending me msgs and torturing me . He is the kind of guy whonwould have fed on his brother his whole life, had he been alive.