Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

44-Year-Old Woman Asks: Is It Wrong to Stop Supporting Demanding Parents?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello I have a strained relationship with my parents. I am 44 years old woman and married late. And now have twins who are 7 years old. Before entering this marriage, I was working and paid 50% of the earnings to my parents. And tried managing with rest 50% by paying home loan, food and others. It was very difficult but at times, i couldnnot manage on my own as the finances were tight and couldnnot save anything. Later, I took a break from work due to my love marriage and had to settle in a rural place where job opportunities were unavailable. I started a school but things did not go well and had to shut down due to covid. My money which I received from PF, gratuity all had vanished due to the school and my husband business also got into troubles and has no support from families. We were almost on roads and did not have any help. It was difficult to manage with twins. Then, i started with 5 freelancer jobs and made one lakh a month which was needed to support my family. In the interim, i got a good job at Chennai and moved with my husband. He too got a job in a start up and moved with me. His being a work from home could manage my twins while they were at home. While we started earning, again my parents started asking for money and I stopped supporting them, as my sister had started giving them money every month while i got married. My sister is well settled and runs a company abroad. I had got into a job and just settling down and did not want to take pressure again. I have my children and need to save for our retirement too. So, i started saving penny by penny. And due to not supporting my parents they do not talk to me at all. I too stopped as I thought it's better to be far with peace of mind rather than have frequent heart aches. Husband side story is that..after business got lost due to covid, his mother filed case against us stating that my husband brought loss to the business and need to step away and filed an injunction case against us. So, we could neither go to our property or restart business. As such, the case is moving and no relationship with my inlaw. But I always feel when children have holidays ...and children have been unaware of the relationship of grandparents and they yearn to be with them. They are growing up without any love of grandparents and they seem to understand. At time, I feel to help my family but I am scared as they will start squeezing me totally and I will be left with no savings. At this age, I have started to save and need it for our future. Am I doing it right

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Oh, yes, you are thinking and doing the right thing.
You have done what needs to be done for parents when you could and if by not supporting them with money now has made them judge you and distance you, then well, what can you do?
Yes, it's unfortunate that your children don't have the opportunity to get the love and attention of their grandparents, but if you look at how immature they have been and dragging you and your husband down, it's better to keep the children away from all this drama until things settle.
Children don't need a lot of people, they just need people who love them. I am sure you and your husband are doing just that. Focus on yourselves and make it work as a family. You deserve to be at peace after all that you have gone through. SO, don't waver and keep doing what you have so far to maintain that peace of mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2022

Relationship
I got married in 2018 and it was an arranged marriage. Everything seemed very perfect for me. But soon after things got weird as I realised my husband does not share good rapport with his own family. From day second, I felt I need to correct my husband' attitude towards his own parents. He loves me a lot and protects me from any type of problem while we were staying at my in-laws' house. But before completing 2 months we moved out and somewhere I knew there is no going back to his parents from that point. During the short 2 months stay I was told that my parents did not give me good stuff -- I mean bed, almirah and (that they) had not arranged our marriage function in the best way possible. I have seen them fighting among themselves for purchasing Maggi packets stating who will pay the price. I was told my husband who is eventually their real son contributed nothing to his sister's marriage, to their house construction and to his own marriage. I was asked to pay for the marriage album as my husband contributed nothing to his own marriage. Even after leaving their place bank payment related messages have been sent to me to pay the amount. One day after feeling helpless I asked them: If your son is having so much problem why did you marry him. They simply stated that they did it for the sake of society. The moments before leaving the house were tense. They threw a lot of tantrums -- they took the jewellery they'd purchased for me and also retained the jewellery given by my parents. I said nothing about it as those materialistic things never mattered to me. I had to take back a part of jewellery made by my parents from them as my parents wanted it back. But after leaving home they did not call to ask anything about our health or our problems with the new set up but instead called for money. They are threatening to come back if we don't talk to them on regular basis and bend their son on his knees to come back to his parents. Till some time, I was under the impression that my husband is having issues; that he is the monster who is abandoning his parents. When I learned his side of story, I realised he is not at fault completely. They never made him feel loved or accepted; and always compared him with others. They considered him as their investment plan as they are all the time cursing him for not providing any financial support without knowing at what salary he is working for, what are his monthly expenses and whether he is in a position to assist them financially.He doesn't have any good memories with his family. Still I tried to make him feel their pain to be left alone behind their only son. After leaving their house they started to abuse me on phone whenever they wanted. They cursed me and my parents for taking their son away from them. My husband is the typical Indian male who on the first night took control of my debit card as he thinks it is his birth right. He strictly told me what not to wear. Although these were major flaws in the attitude, he showed love towards me so I did also do the same. I am happy with him. But with this constant verbal abuse from his parents, I feel like I’m the one who is the culprit here. I was not ready to even extend my family with my husband but somehow I did take the decision after four years of my marriage. I am expecting now but my husband warned me to not inform about this to his parents otherwise, he will send me permanently to my parents’ house. My subconscious is shaking me in every 2 to 3 weeks that I’m the culprit here. I feel like my child will also leave me behind the way we left his parents behind. They insulted me in every possible way but I still don't want them to be left alone in their senior years like this. But I have no control over my husband he is way more detached towards them and maximum time insensitive to their problems. Also his parents always call to either abuse me or their son they did never ask us how we are if we are fine even in corona time I was positive and when they knew about they call my husband to make fun of this. Please suggest.
Ans:

Dear MB,

Too much going on in your mind all at once. Sometimes, it helps to compartmentalize.

It seems like you are being a nice human, have tried patching things between the son and his family.

Let it alone, it is unique and it’s their battle to fight. By you getting into this, it might eventually be pointed out that you are a bad wife and a bad influence on their son.

People when in distress lose sense of logic and blame everything on the external. So, you have done your bit, in vain…now stay away from their relationship.

What is meant to be, will be. Any more interference might only harm the relationship further.

As for you, when they call and abuse, kindly assert that you will not be talked to in that manner OR simply avoid their calls till the time they ask, then say: I do want our conversations to be had with respect both ways.

As for your husband taking away your debit card; it does seem his way of exercising control which he lacks with himself in relation to his parents.

He feels helpless and him taking charge of what you wear etc is his way of establishing ground rules by being a patriarch.

Please rework this soon else this will be observed by your children especially if you have a girl child.

Your meek submission is what she will learn from you.

Just like you took your streedhan back, what you feel you have a personal association and right over, kindly take it back.

His love for you does not mean that he owns you and it does not mean you need to submit.

Of course, if it is to maintain peace for the time being, alright…but over a period of time this has to change.

Enjoy the pregnancy without bringing unwanted worries that your child will also leave you etc.

Too much of commercial movies can instil these fears. Your husband and his family made this choice to harbor animosity towards each other.

Why will your child do the same with you? There is no transference. Simply, enjoy being pregnant, focus on yourself and your child.

Think good, eat good, feel good, laugh a lot and choose what who you want around you. It affects the child directly.

Please become responsible now towards your unborn child. He/she needs you.

Be with Nature a lot, listen to calming music…your baby will thank you someday for this. So smile and get on to enjoying your pregnancy.

Be happy and all the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Madam, Iam a 45 year old woman. Ever since I was a kid I had went through lot of bullying by my rekatives for the way I look but my parents never supported me in any way instead found fault in ne for complaining but would always support my younger brother. Somewhere down the line I thought this was all I deserved and let oeople walk all over me without standing up for myself. Now that Iam a mother myself of a 15 year old kid with dyskexia, i have sacrificed my career fir his sake and still get bullied by my relatives dir being a useless house wife. I have started drawing boundaries around me to protect my mental sanity and allow only few people in it which invludes a small group of friends and my son and husband. I avoid making new friends. I have also stopped attending any social events that involves my relatives. Meanwhile I have started deeply resenting my parents who want ne to take care of them but openly favour my brother who lives abroad. I have taken care of them everytime they require neducal treatments yet my father openly says that he plans to give all his property to my brother who is never coming back. Its not about the money here but the apathy they have towards me that kills me from inside. I have tried to talk to them multiple times but each time my mother creates a scene and puts the enture blame on me. For once in my life i want my parents to love me unconditionally the way I do with my son. Am i wrong to expect that? This is causung lot of health issues in me. Please advise.
Ans: First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid. It's natural to want love and support from your parents, especially after all you've done for them. It's not wrong to expect unconditional love from your family; however, sometimes, unfortunately, families can be complex and dysfunctional, and our expectations may not always be met.

Drawing boundaries and prioritizing your mental health and well-being is a positive step. It's essential to protect yourself from toxic relationships and environments, even if it means distancing yourself from certain family members. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones, like your son and husband, is vital for your emotional health.

Regarding your parents, it's clear that their behavior is hurtful and unjust. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and resentful toward them, given their favoritism towards your brother and lack of appreciation
for your sacrifices and care. However, it's also essential to recognize that you cannot control their actions or attitudes. You can only control how you respond to them.

While it's challenging, try to approach conversations with your parents from a place of empathy and understanding. Express your feelings calmly and assertively, focusing on how their actions make you feel rather than blaming them. It's possible that they may not even realize the extent of the hurt they're causing you. However, it's also essential to set realistic expectations. If your parents continue to be unsupportive or dismissive, it may be necessary to limit your interactions with them for the sake of your own well-being.

Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling with your mental health. It's okay to seek professional help to navigate through these difficult emotions and experiences. You deserve love, respect, and validation, and it's essential to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Lastly, continue to cherish the love and bond you have with your son and husband. They are your pillars of support, and together, you can navigate through these challenges. You're stronger than you realize, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and loving life for yourself, regardless of the negativity from others.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 33 yrs old, recently lost my loving husband of 35yrs old to a sudden massive heart attack. Since we had a loving bond in my in laws family, and they didnt want to go back to their village, i offered them to shift the rented apartment, to a place closer to my maternal housez wo that i can live with my own parents and be close to them as well and keep visiting on and off. I have a brother in law, same age as me, who left his job son after his brothers death, in pretext of studying for exam. I supported him saying its ok . Ill find a job and pay the rent till you get a job for urself after your exams and offered to pay 50-50 rent, for the house i wont even live in. My maternal family was not fond of this, but still supported me, knowing my good intentions.With time their thoughts changed or what i dont know, his brother doesnt study at all, and emotionally harasses mw saying you told you will take full responsibility and now you are backing off. His parents on the other hand insulted and accused my parents for trying to take the money of life i surance which is in wife's name. They feel they have right on all the claim amount that I (his wife) is nominee off and that me and my family wither changed the nominee name after my husband's death or when he was alive, tactfully forced him to put my name as nominee. I lost respect for all the three. I would have even given all the money to them, but now, i cant take their insults and false accusations any more. Even tried explaining them in a family meeting. But in vain. If anything, they start crying and showing that how their loss is bigger than mine and how we are being such vultures ...although i understand their loss, but they ought to know my loss is same ,if not less. Should i not stand up for my parents and myself? His brother does not want to take any responsibility and shamelessly tried to emotionally torture me into apting their rent and giving all that my husband has left in my name (ps. Its not a big amount ) but still, its not about the money for me...its about the trust and how little they think of me. What do you think should i be doing? I gave his brother a mouthful the other day and blocked his number, as he was continuously sending me msgs and torturing me . He is the kind of guy whonwould have fed on his brother his whole life, had he been alive.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry for your loss!
But you have not understood why drawing of boundaries is important to keep any relationship healthy. By opening up yoour space, you have allowed people to take advantage of your niceness and now they have turned the tables on you making you look like a villain.
If you had to advice a dear female friend, what would you tell her? To keep giving into her in-laws drama or to draw the line, protect what is rightfully hers and move on with dignity ignoring such people?
What would you say to her? Follow your own advice; you don't owe anyone anything and you were just trying to be nice and they could not see that in all their immaturity. Maybe it's their grief speaking BUT if they are still going to rain hell on you; draw that boundary now and save your peace of mind...Please!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Money
Hello Sir I am investing in 5 different 7200 per month total 36000 fund as below Axis large and midcap
Ans: You have shown strong financial discipline.
Regular monthly investing reflects serious intent.
Staying invested needs patience and belief.
Your effort over time deserves appreciation.

» Current Investment Structure Overview

– You invest Rs. 36,000 every month.
– Amount is split across five equity-oriented strategies.
– This shows diversification intent.
– Diversification reduces single-style risk.

– Monthly investing suits salaried income patterns.
– SIPs align well with long-term goals.
– Equity exposure suits wealth creation goals.

– Five funds is manageable but needs review.
– More funds do not mean better safety.
– Proper role clarity matters more.

» Portfolio Intent and Goal Alignment

– Your goal appears long-term wealth creation.
– Equity suits goals beyond seven years.
– Time horizon supports market volatility absorption.

– Long-term goals need consistent behaviour.
– Discipline matters more than fund selection.
– Staying invested creates compounding benefits.

– Your approach matches long-term thinking.
– This mindset improves outcome probability.

» Asset Allocation Perspective

– Your portfolio is equity-heavy.
– Equity brings higher volatility short term.
– Equity rewards patience over time.

– Ensure debt investments exist separately.
– Debt brings stability and peace.
– Debt supports emergencies and near-term needs.

– Keeping debt separate is sensible.
– It improves mental clarity.

» Diversification Quality Assessment

– Diversification across market segments exists.
– Exposure covers large and mid-sized companies.
– This balances stability and growth potential.

– Too much overlap can reduce benefits.
– Similar stocks may repeat across strategies.
– This reduces true diversification.

– Over-diversification also reduces conviction.
– Fewer focused strategies work better.

» Need for Portfolio Simplification

– Five equity strategies may be reviewed.
– Simplification improves tracking and control.
– Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

– Each fund must have a clear role.
– Avoid duplication of investment styles.

– Consolidation improves portfolio efficiency.
– It also reduces emotional confusion.

» Actively Managed Strategy Advantage

– Actively managed funds use research-based decisions.
– Managers adjust allocations with market changes.
– They respond to valuations and risks.

– Indian markets reward active stock selection.
– Corporate quality varies widely here.
– Active monitoring adds value.

– Fund managers avoid weak businesses earlier.
– This protects downside during market stress.

– Active management suits long-term Indian investors.

» Why Passive Strategies Have Limitations

– Passive strategies track markets blindly.
– They stay fully invested always.
– They cannot reduce risk during excess valuations.

– Overvalued stocks remain included.
– Weak companies stay until index changes.

– There is no human judgement.
– No valuation discipline exists.

– During corrections, losses are full.
– There is no downside protection.

– Actively managed funds handle volatility better.
– They aim to protect capital also.

» SIP Amount Adequacy Review

– Rs. 36,000 monthly is meaningful.
– Consistency matters more than starting amount.

– Income growth should drive future increases.
– Step-ups improve long-term results.

– Avoid stretching finances for higher SIPs.
– Comfort matters for sustainability.

» Step-Up Strategy Insight

– Step-ups should match income growth.
– Aggressive step-ups increase stress risk.

– Stable step-ups are more practical.
– Even moderate increases work well.

– Review step-ups annually.
– Adjust based on cash flows.

– Flexibility is more important than targets.

» Behavioural Discipline Evaluation

– You stayed invested consistently.
– This shows emotional maturity.

– Many investors stop during volatility.
– You continued despite market noise.

– This behaviour creates long-term wealth.

– Avoid frequent portfolio checking.
– Market movements can trigger fear.

» Market Volatility Preparedness

– Equity markets move in cycles.
– Sharp corrections are normal.

– Expect at least one major fall.
– Emotional readiness matters most then.

– SIPs help manage volatility impact.
– They average costs automatically.

– Stay focused on long-term goals.

» Rebalancing Strategy Importance

– Rebalancing protects accumulated gains.
– It manages risk over time.

– Equity exposure should reduce gradually.
– Especially near goal timelines.

– Rebalancing must be rule-based.
– Avoid emotional decisions.

» Tax Awareness for Equity Investments

– Equity taxation rules have changed.
– Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh face tax.

– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Frequent churn increases tax burden.

– Long-term holding improves tax efficiency.

– Planned withdrawals reduce tax impact.

» Cash Flow and Emergency Planning

– Emergency fund is essential.
– Six months expenses is ideal.

– Emergency money should be liquid.
– Avoid equity for emergencies.

– This protects investments during crises.

» Insurance and Protection Planning

– Health insurance coverage must be adequate.
– Medical inflation rises fast.

– Term insurance should cover dependents.
– Coverage must match responsibilities.

– Protection supports long-term investing success.

» Lifestyle Inflation Management

– Income growth increases lifestyle temptation.
– Expenses should grow slower.

– Savings rate decides wealth creation speed.
– Control lifestyle upgrades consciously.

» Review Frequency Guidance

– Annual review is enough.
– Avoid monthly changes.

– Review after major life events.
– Income changes need updates.

– Market news alone needs no action.

» Monitoring Progress Towards Goals

– Track progress once a year.
– Use realistic expectations.

– Markets will not move linearly.
– Shortfalls are normal sometimes.

– Focus on consistency and discipline.

» Role of Professional Guidance

– Regular plans offer ongoing support.
– Guidance helps during volatile periods.

– A Certified Financial Planner adds value.
– Behaviour coaching matters most.

– Long-term success depends on decisions.

» Estate and Nomination Planning

– Ensure all nominations are updated.
– This avoids family stress later.

– Writing a simple will helps.
– It provides clarity and peace.

» Finally

– Your investing habit is strong.
– Your consistency builds financial strength.

– Portfolio structure is broadly suitable.
– Simplification can improve efficiency.

– Active management supports Indian markets well.
– Behaviour discipline will decide outcomes.

– Stay patient and review yearly.
– Wealth creation is a journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir I am investing 7200 per month in 5 different fund with expected step up of 20% in coming may 2026 detail below and xirr 14.24% Axis large mid cap 224070/ HDFC bse sensex 214998 Mirae asset midcap fund 231265/ Parag Parikh flexi 225912/ Quant large and midcap fund 210315 This is going since last 3 years started with 25k total accumulation 1133560/ This is for my long term goal like 8 cr in 10 year and used that fund accordingly Is this portfolio looking good ? Are any changes needed is step up good for target please help suggest and modification actually I got these funds 3 year back from my CA friend and since then they are as is with no changes please give your input and changes needed I am also investing govt employe regular scheme as well as debt fund but will be keeping them seperate from this portfolio please help reviewing
Ans: You are doing many things correctly.
Your discipline and patience deserve appreciation.
Three years of steady investing shows strong intent.
Your clarity on long-term goals is a big strength.

» Overall Portfolio Structure Assessment

– Your portfolio is fully equity-oriented.
– Equity is suitable for long-term wealth goals.
– A ten-year horizon supports equity exposure.
– Your diversification across styles is sensible.
– Exposure spans large, mid, and flexible strategies.

– This reduces dependency on one market segment.
– Your portfolio avoided extreme sector concentration.
– Volatility risk is still present and expected.
– Emotional discipline will be very important ahead.

– Your current value growth shows market participation.
– XIRR above inflation is encouraging.
– Returns may fluctuate sharply during market cycles.

» SIP Discipline and Behaviour Review

– Monthly investing builds strong financial habits.
– SIPs reduce timing risk over market cycles.
– Consistency matters more than fund switching.
– Your three-year continuity is a positive sign.

– Markets rewarded patience during volatile phases.
– You stayed invested during uncertain periods.
– That behaviour improves long-term outcomes.

– SIPs also support emotional stability.
– They prevent impulsive lump-sum decisions.

» Step-Up Strategy Evaluation

– A 20 percent annual step-up is aggressive.
– Aggressive step-ups suit rising income profiles.
– Sustainability matters more than intention.

– Review income growth before committing yearly.
– Ensure lifestyle expenses remain comfortable.
– Avoid stress-driven investment decisions.

– If income growth is uneven, reduce step-up.
– Even 10 to 15 percent works well.

– Flexibility is better than forced commitments.
– Step-ups should feel easy, not painful.

» Goal Feasibility Review for Rs. 8 Crore

– A large goal needs multiple support pillars.
– SIP alone may not be enough.
– Step-ups improve probability, not certainty.

– Market returns are not linear.
– Ten-year periods can include flat phases.
– Expect at least one deep correction.

– Equity helps beat inflation over time.
– But equity never guarantees fixed outcomes.

– You must prepare for shortfall scenarios.
– Backup plans are part of smart planning.

» Portfolio Concentration and Overlap

– Multiple funds can still overlap.
– Similar stocks appear across strategies.
– Overlap reduces true diversification benefits.

– Too many funds dilute conviction.
– Fewer, well-managed strategies work better.

– Portfolio simplicity improves tracking and discipline.
– Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

– Consider consolidating into fewer categories.
– Keep allocation intentional, not accidental.

» Fund Management Style Balance

– You hold growth-oriented strategies.
– Mid-segment exposure increases volatility.
– Flexibility helps adjust across cycles.

– Actively managed strategies add value here.
– Skilled managers adjust allocations dynamically.
– They respond to valuations and risks.

– This is helpful in volatile markets.
– Active decisions reduce downside impact sometimes.

» About Index-Oriented Investing Reference

– One holding tracks a broad market index.
– Index strategies follow markets blindly.
– They cannot avoid overvalued stocks.

– Index portfolios stay fully invested always.
– They suffer fully during market falls.
– No defensive action is possible.

– Index funds ignore business quality shifts.
– Poor companies remain until index changes.

– Actively managed funds avoid weak businesses earlier.
– Fund managers use research-based decisions.
– They manage risk, not just returns.

– Over long periods, good active funds outperform.
– Especially in emerging markets like India.

– Indian markets reward stock selection skill.
– Active management adds meaningful value here.

» Risk Management Perspective

– Equity risk rises near goal timelines.
– Ten years may feel long today.
– It will reduce faster than expected.

– Gradual risk reduction is essential later.
– Do not stay fully aggressive always.

– Portfolio rebalancing must be planned.
– Shifting gains protects accumulated wealth.

– Risk capacity differs from risk tolerance.
– Income stability defines risk capacity.
– Emotions define risk tolerance.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness

– Equity taxation rules have changed.
– Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains face higher taxation now.

– Frequent churn increases tax leakage.
– Staying invested reduces unnecessary taxes.

– Goal-based withdrawals help manage tax impact.
– Random redemptions reduce efficiency.

» Behavioural Finance Observations

– You trusted advice and stayed consistent.
– That discipline deserves appreciation.

– Avoid frequent performance comparisons.
– Social media creates unnecessary anxiety.

– Markets move in cycles, not straight lines.
– Patience creates wealth, not speed.

– Avoid reacting to short-term news.
– News is noise for long-term investors.

» Role of Debt and Government Schemes

– Keeping debt investments separate is wise.
– Debt adds stability to total wealth.

– Government schemes support capital protection.
– They also provide predictable cash flows.

– Use debt for near-term goals.
– Use equity only for long-term goals.

– This separation improves mental clarity.

» Portfolio Review Frequency

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid quarterly tinkering.

– Review after major life changes.
– Income changes need strategy updates.

– Market events alone need no action.

» Emergency and Protection Planning

– Ensure adequate emergency reserves exist.
– Six months expenses is ideal.

– Health insurance should be sufficient.
– Cover must rise with medical inflation.

– Term insurance should protect dependents.
– Coverage should match responsibilities.

– Protection planning supports investment success.

» Inflation and Lifestyle Planning

– Inflation erodes purchasing power silently.
– Equity helps fight inflation over time.

– Lifestyle upgrades must be planned.
– Avoid increasing expenses with income fully.

– Savings rate matters more than returns.

» Estate and Nomination Planning

– Ensure nominations are updated.
– This avoids future family stress.

– Write a simple will.
– It gives clarity and peace.

» Rebalancing Strategy Guidance

– Do not rebalance emotionally.
– Follow predefined asset ranges.

– Shift profits after strong rallies.
– Add equity during deep corrections.

– Rebalancing improves risk-adjusted returns.

» Monitoring Progress Towards Goal

– Track progress annually.
– Use realistic expectations.

– Do not anchor to fixed numbers.
– Markets rarely cooperate perfectly.

– Focus on process, not prediction.

» Finally

– Your foundation is strong and disciplined.
– Your intent and consistency are commendable.

– Portfolio structure is broadly appropriate.
– Some consolidation may improve efficiency.

– Step-up should remain flexible.
– Sustainability matters more than aggression.

– Active management suits your long-term goal.
– Behavioural discipline will decide outcomes.

– Continue reviewing holistically each year.
– Adjust strategy, not emotions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |237 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Money
hello, i took an insurance policy in 2021 from TATA AIA SAMPOORNA RAKSHAK which has 12 premium for 12 years and the policy goes on for 80+years with 50 lakh insurance i paic my first premium of 1,35000 yearly, but my fortune change and i lost my handsome salary job and i was unable to pay that premium so i needed to stop that as my family primary expenses comes first.sir the insurance company say you wont get this premium back as its already written in terms and condition book,but for me its an huge amount. i would like to know from you that can i get this money from company legally or not and if so how can i get it back. thankyou.
Ans: Hello. I understand why this hurts. ?1.35 lakh is not a small amount, especially when life takes an unexpected turn. Let me explain this calmly and clearly so you know exactly where you stand and what is realistically possible.

First, the hard truth about this policy
Tata AIA Life Insurance Sampoorna Rakshak is a pure term insurance plan.
In term insurance:

There is no savings or investment component

The premium is paid only for risk cover

If the policy lapses early, there is no surrender value

Since you paid only the first year premium and could not continue, the policy lapsed. As per IRDAI rules and the policy contract, term plans do not refund premiums once risk cover has started, even for one year.

So from a legal and regulatory standpoint, the insurer is technically correct.

Can you get the money back legally?
Let me be very honest and practical.

1. Legal refund claim
Not possible, unless there was:

Mis-selling (false promises of return, savings, maturity value)

Incorrect information given in writing

Forged consent or wrong policy explained as an investment plan

If the agent verbally said things like:

“You will get money back”

“This works like an investment”

“You can withdraw later”

and you have proof (WhatsApp, email, brochure), then you may have a case.

Without proof, a court or ombudsman will side with the policy wording.

2. Free look period option
This allows refund within 15–30 days of policy issuance.
Your policy is from 2021, so this option is long gone.

What options are realistically left now?
Option 1: Escalation request (low success, but try)
You can still request a goodwill consideration, not a legal claim.

Write a calm email to:

Tata AIA grievance cell

Mention job loss, financial hardship

Request partial refund or conversion to paid-up (they will likely say no, but try once)

Do not expect much, but sometimes insurers offer ex-gratia rejection confirmation which helps closure.

Option 2: Insurance Ombudsman (for peace of mind)
You may approach the Insurance Ombudsman, but I want to be clear:

Ombudsman follows policy terms

For term plans, verdict is usually in favour of insurer

This is more for mental closure than recovery.

Why this feels unfair but is still allowed
Think of it this way:

For one year, your family had ?50 lakh protection

The premium paid was for that one-year risk

Just like car insurance, unused years are not refundable

I am saying this not to justify the system, but to help you accept reality without guilt.

One important emotional point
You did nothing wrong by stopping the policy.
Choosing food, rent, education, and survival over insurance is financial wisdom, not failure.

Many people continue policies out of fear and end up in debt. You didn’t.

You handled a tough phase responsibly. That matters more than a lost premium.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
Money
I have a credit card written off status on my cibil . This is about 2 lakhs on 2 credit card. I made last payment in 2019 and was unable to make payments later as I lost my job.Now i have stable job and can pay off 2 lkahs, My worry is will the bank take 2 laksh or add interest on that and ask me to pay 8 or 10 lakhs for this ? can anyone advice if this situation is similar and have you heard about any solutions . I can make payment of 2 lakhs outstandng as reflecting in my cibil report
Ans: First, appreciate your honesty and responsibility.
You faced job loss and survived a difficult phase.
Now you have income and intent to close dues.
That itself is a strong and positive step.

There are solutions available.

What “written off” actually means

– “Written off” does not mean loan is forgiven.
– It means bank stopped active recovery temporarily.
– The amount is still legally payable.
– Bank or recovery agency can approach you.

– CIBIL shows this as serious default.
– But it is not a criminal case.

Your biggest worry clarified clearly
Will bank ask Rs. 8–10 lakhs now?

In most practical cases, NO.

– Banks rarely recover full inflated amounts.
– Interest technically keeps accruing.
– But banks know recovery is difficult.

– They prefer one-time settlement.
– They want closure, not long fights.

What usually happens in real life

– Outstanding shown may be Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Bank internal system may show higher amount.

– They may initially demand more.
– This is a negotiation starting point.

– Final settlement usually happens near:
– Principal amount
– Or slightly above principal

– Rs. 8–10 lakhs demand is rarely enforced.

Why your position is actually strong

– Default happened due to job loss.
– Time gap is several years.
– Account is already written off.

– You are now willing to pay.
– You can offer lump sum.

Banks respect lump sum offers.

What you should NOT do

– Do not panic and pay blindly.
– Do not accept verbal promises.
– Do not pay without written confirmation.

– Do not pay partial amounts casually.
– That weakens your negotiation position.

Correct step-by-step approach
Step 1: Contact bank recovery department

– Call customer care.
– Ask for recovery or settlement team.
– Avoid agents initially.

Step 2: Ask for settlement option

Use clear language:
– You lost job earlier.
– Situation is stable now.
– You want to close accounts fully.

Ask specifically for:
– One Time Settlement option
– Written settlement letter

Step 3: Negotiate calmly

– Start by offering Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Mention it matches CIBIL outstanding.

– Bank may counter with higher number.
– This is normal negotiation.

– Many cases close between:
– 100% to 130% of principal

Rarely more, if negotiated well.

Important: Written settlement letter

Before paying anything, ensure letter states:

– Full and final settlement
– No further dues will remain
– Account will be closed
– CIBIL status will be updated

Never rely on phone assurance.

How payment should be made

– Pay only to bank account.
– Avoid cash payments.
– Keep receipts safely.

– After payment, collect closure letter.

Impact on your CIBIL score

Be very clear on this point.

– “Written off” will not disappear immediately.
– Settlement changes status to “Settled”.

– “Settled” is better than “Written off”.
– But still considered negative initially.

– Score improves gradually over time.

What improves CIBIL after settlement

– No new defaults
– Timely payments on future credit
– Low credit utilisation
– Patience

Usually improvement seen within 12–24 months.

Should you wait or settle now?

Settling now is better because:

– Old defaults block future loans.
– Housing loan becomes difficult.
– Car loan interest becomes high.

– Emotional stress continues otherwise.

Closure brings mental relief.

Common fear: “What if they harass me?”

– Harassment has reduced significantly.
– RBI rules are stricter now.
– Written settlement protects you.

– If harassment happens, complain formally.

Have others faced this situation?

Yes, thousands.

– Many lost jobs after 2018–2020.
– Credit card defaults increased widely.

– Most cases got settled reasonably.
– You are not alone.

Things working in your favour

– Old default
– Written-off status already marked
– Willingness to pay lump sum
– Stable income now

This gives negotiation power.

After settlement: what next

– Avoid credit cards initially.
– Start with small secured products.

– Pay everything on time.
– Keep credit usage low.

– Score will heal gradually.

Final reassurance

You will not be forced to pay Rs. 8–10 lakhs suddenly.
Banks prefer realistic recovery.
Your readiness to pay Rs. 2 lakhs is valuable.

Handle this calmly and formally.
Take everything in writing.
You are doing the right thing now.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10859 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2025Hindi
Career
I am 41 year's old bp and sugar patient i completed 3years articleship for the purpose CA cource,now iam looking for paid assistant Job because still iam not clear my ipcc exams salary very low 10k per month,can I quit finance and accounting job because of my health please advise or suggest
Ans: At 41 years old with hypertension and diabetes, having completed 3 years of CA articleship but unable to clear IPCC exams while earning ?10,000 monthly, continuing in high-stress finance/accounting roles presents genuine health risks. Research confirms that sedentary, high-pressure accounting and finance jobs significantly exacerbate hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes through chronic stress, irregular routines, and poor sleep quality—particularly affecting professionals aged 35-50. Yes, quitting finance is medically justified. Rather than abandoning your accounting foundation, strategically transition to less stressful, specialized accounting/finance roles utilizing your three years of articleship experience while prioritizing health. Pursue three alternative certifications requiring 6-18 months of flexible, online study—compatible with managing your health conditions while maintaining income. These certifications leverage your existing accounting knowledge, command premium salaries (?6-12 LPA+), offer remote/flexible work options reducing stress, and require minimal additional skill upgradation beyond what you've already invested.? Option 1 – Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) / Forensic Accounting Specialist: Complete NISM Forensic Investigation Level 1&2 (100% online, 6-12 months) or Indiaforensic's Certified Forensic Accounting Professional (distance learning, flexible). Your CA articleship background is ideal for fraud detection roles. Salary: ?6-9 LPA; Stress Level: Moderate (deadline-driven analysis, not client management); Work-Life Balance: High (project-based, remote-capable); Skill Upgradation Needed: Fraud investigation techniques, financial forensics software—both taught in certification.? Option 2 – ACCA (Association of Chartered Accountants) or US CPA: More flexible than CA (study at own pace, global recognition, no lengthy articleship repeat). ACCA requires 13-15 months online study with five paper exemptions (since you've completed articleship); US CPA takes 12 months post-articleship. Salary: ?7-12 LPA (India), higher internationally; Stress Level: Lower (flexible study schedule, no rigid mentorship like CA); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (flexible learning, no daily office stress initially); Skill Upgradation: International accounting standards, tax practices, audit frameworks—all covered in coursework. Option 3 – CMA USA (Cost & Management Accounting): Specializes in management accounting and financial planning vs. auditing. Requires two exams, 200 study hours total, completable in 8-12 months. Highly preferred by MNCs, IT companies, startups for finance manager/FP&A roles. Salary: ?8-12 LPA initially, potentially ?20+ LPA as Finance Manager/CFO; Stress Level: Low (CMA roles focus on strategic planning, less client pressure); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (corporate roles often more structured than CA practice); Skill Upgradation: Management accounting principles, data analytics, financial modeling—valuable for modern finance roles.? Final Advice: Quit immediately if current role is deteriorating health. Register for ACCA or US CPA within 30 days—most flexible, globally recognized, requiring minimal additional investment. Simultaneously pursue Forensic Accounting certification (6-month concurrent track) as backup specialization. Target roles as Compliance Analyst, Forensic Accountant, or Corporate Finance Manager—all leverage your articleship, offer 40-45 hour weeks (vs. CA practice's 50-60), enable remote work, and command ?8-12 LPA within 18 months. Your health is irreplaceable; your accounting foundation is valuable enough to transition strategically rather than completely exit.? All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Money
I am 62 years of age. i have bought Max life smart wealth long term plan policy and Max life smart life advantage growth per pulse insta income fixed returns policies 2 /3 years ago. Are these policies good as i want to get benefits when i am alive. is there a way i can close " max life smart wealth long term plan policy ", as i am facing difficulty in paying up the premium. The agents don't give clear picture. please suggest.
Ans: You have shown courage by asking the right question.
Many seniors suffer silently with unsuitable policies.
Your concern about living benefits is very valid.
Your age makes clarity extremely important now.

» Your current life stage reality
– You are 62 years old.
– You are in active retirement planning phase.
– Capital protection matters more than growth.

– Cash flow comfort is critical.
– Stress-free income is more important than returns.
– Long lock-ins create anxiety now.

» Understanding the type of policies you bought
– These are investment-cum-insurance policies.
– They mix protection and investment together.

– Such products are complex by design.
– Benefits are spread over long durations.

– Charges are high in early years.
– Liquidity remains very limited initially.

» Core issue with such policies at your age
– These policies suit younger earners better.
– They need long holding periods.

– At 62, time horizon is shorter.
– You need access to money now.

– Premium commitment becomes stressful.
– Returns remain unclear for many years.

» Focus on your stated need
– You want benefits while alive.
– You want income and flexibility.

– You do not want confusion.
– You want transparency.

– This is absolutely reasonable.

» Reality check on living benefits
– Living benefits are slow in such policies.
– Early years give very little value.

– Most benefits come much later.
– This delays usefulness.

– Income promises are often misunderstood.
– Actual cash flow is usually low.

» Why agents fail to give clarity
– Products are difficult to explain honestly.
– Commissions are front-loaded.

– Explanations focus on maturity numbers.
– Risks and lock-ins get downplayed.

– This creates disappointment later.

» Premium stress is a clear warning sign
– Difficulty paying premium is serious.
– It should never be ignored.

– Forced continuation hurts retirement peace.
– This signals mismatch with your needs.

» Can such policies be closed
– Yes, they can be exited.
– Exit terms depend on policy status.

– Minimum holding period usually applies.
– After that, surrender becomes possible.

– You may receive surrender value.
– This value is often lower initially.

» Emotional barrier around surrender
– Many seniors fear losing money.
– This fear delays correct decisions.

– Continuing wrong products increases loss.
– Early correction reduces damage.

» Assessment of continuing versus exiting
– Continuing means more premium burden.
– Returns remain uncertain.

– Liquidity stays restricted.
– Stress continues every year.

– Exiting stops further premium drain.
– Money becomes usable elsewhere.

» Income needs in retirement
– Retirement needs predictable cash flow.
– Expenses do not wait for maturity.

– Medical costs rise unexpectedly.
– Family support needs flexibility.

– Locked products reduce confidence.

» Insurance versus investment separation
– Insurance should protect, not invest.
– Investment should grow or give income.

– Mixing both causes confusion.
– Separation improves clarity.

» What a Certified Financial Planner would assess
– Your regular expenses.
– Your emergency fund adequacy.

– Your health cover sufficiency.
– Your existing liquid assets.

– Your comfort with volatility.

» Action regarding investment-cum-insurance policies
– These policies are not ideal now.
– They strain cash flow.

– They do not give immediate income.
– They reduce flexibility.

– Surrender should be seriously considered.

» How to approach surrender decision calmly
– First, ask for surrender value statement.
– Ask insurer directly, not agents.

– Request written breakup.
– Include all charges.

– Compare future premiums versus surrender value.

» Important surrender-related points
– Surrender value may seem low.
– This is common in early years.

– Focus on future peace, not past loss.
– Stop throwing good money after bad.

» Tax aspect awareness
– Surrender proceeds may have tax impact.
– This depends on policy structure.

– Get clarity before final action.
– Plan withdrawal carefully.

» What to do after surrender
– Do not keep money idle.
– Reinvest based on retirement needs.

– Focus on income generation.
– Focus on capital safety.

» Suitable investment approach after exit
– Use diversified mutual fund solutions.
– Choose conservative to balanced options.

– Prefer actively managed funds.
– They adjust during market changes.

» Why index funds are unsuitable here
– Index funds mirror full market falls.
– No downside protection exists.

– Volatility can disturb sleep.
– Recovery may take time.

– Active funds aim to reduce damage.
– This suits senior investors better.

» Why regular mutual fund route helps
– Guidance is crucial at this age.
– Behaviour control matters.

– Regular reviews prevent mistakes.
– Certified Financial Planner support adds confidence.

– Cost difference is worth guidance.

» Income planning without annuities
– Avoid irreversible income products.
– Keep flexibility alive.

– Use systematic withdrawal approaches.
– Control amount and timing.

» Liquidity planning importance
– Keep enough money accessible.
– Emergencies do not announce arrival.

– Liquidity gives mental comfort.
– Avoid forced asset sales.

» Health expense preparedness
– Health costs rise sharply after sixty.
– Inflation is brutal here.

– Keep separate health contingency fund.
– Do not depend on policy maturity.

» Estate and family clarity
– Ensure nominees are updated.
– Write a clear Will.

– Avoid confusion for family.
– Simplicity matters now.

» Psychological peace as a goal
– Retirement planning is emotional.
– Stress harms health.

– Financial clarity improves wellbeing.
– Confidence comes from control.

» Red flags you should never ignore
– Premium pressure.
– Unclear benefits.

– Long lock-in periods.
– Agent-driven explanations only.

» What you should do immediately
– Ask insurer for surrender details.
– Evaluate calmly with numbers.

– Stop listening only to agents.
– Seek unbiased planning view.

» What not to do
– Do not continue blindly.
– Do not stop premiums without clarity.

– Do not delay decision endlessly.
– Delay increases loss.

» Your age-specific investment mindset
– Growth is secondary now.
– Stability is primary.

– Income visibility is essential.
– Liquidity is non-negotiable.

» Emotional reassurance
– You are not alone.
– Many seniors face similar issues.

– Correcting course is strength.
– It is never too late.

» Final Insights
– These policies are not aligned now.
– Premium stress confirms mismatch.

– Surrender option should be explored seriously.
– Protect peace over promises.

– Shift towards flexible, transparent investments.
– Focus on living benefits and comfort.

– Simplicity will serve you best now.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Money
Hi Reetika, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: You have taken a sensible start with disciplined savings.
Owning a house without loans is a strong advantage.
Starting early retirement assets shows responsibility.
Your goals are clear and time is still supportive.

» Life stage and responsibility review
– You are 43 years old and employed.
– Your income phase is still growing.
– Your child is in 11th Science.

– Education expenses will start very soon.
– Marriage goals are medium-term.
– Retirement is long-term but critical.

– This stage needs balance, not extremes.
– Growth and safety both are required.

» Current asset structure understanding
– Retirement-linked savings already exist.
– These assets give long-term discipline.

– Provident savings form a stable base.
– Pension-oriented savings add future comfort.

– Public savings give safety and tax efficiency.
– Fixed deposits give short-term liquidity.

– Overall structure is conservative currently.
– Growth assets need gradual strengthening.

» Liquidity and emergency readiness
– Fixed deposits cover immediate needs.
– Emergency risk appears controlled.

– Maintain at least six months expenses.
– This avoids forced investment exits.

– Do not reduce liquidity for long-term goals.

» Education goal time horizon assessment
– Child education starts within few years.
– Expenses will rise sharply during graduation.

– Foreign education may increase cost further.
– This goal needs partial safety focus.

– Avoid market-linked volatility for near-term needs.

» Marriage goal perspective
– Marriage goal is emotional and financial.
– Expenses usually occur after education.

– This allows moderate growth approach.
– Capital protection remains important.

» Retirement goal clarity
– Retirement is still twenty years away.
– Time is your biggest strength.

– Small discipline now creates big comfort later.
– Growth assets must play a key role.

» Gap understanding for Rs. 80 lacs goal
– Your current assets are lower than required.
– This gap is normal at this age.

– Regular investing will bridge the gap.
– Lump sum expectations should be realistic.

– Salary growth will support higher investments later.

» Income utilisation approach
– Salary should fund regular investments.
– Annual increments should raise contributions.

– Bonuses should be goal-based.
– Avoid lifestyle inflation.

» Asset allocation strategy direction
– Future investments must be diversified.
– Do not depend on one asset type.

– Growth-oriented funds suit long-term goals.
– Stable funds suit near-term needs.

– Balance reduces stress during volatility.

» Mutual fund role in your plan
– Mutual funds allow disciplined participation.
– They reduce direct market timing risk.

– Professional management adds value.
– Diversification improves consistency.

– They suit education and retirement goals.

» Why actively managed funds matter
– Markets are volatile and emotional.
– Index funds follow markets blindly.

– Index funds fall fully during downturns.
– There is no downside protection.

– Actively managed funds adjust exposure.
– Fund managers reduce risk during stress.

– They aim to protect capital better.
– This suits family goals.

» Regular investing discipline
– Monthly investing builds habit.
– Market ups and downs get averaged.

– This reduces regret and fear.
– Discipline matters more than timing.

» Direct versus regular fund clarity
– Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
– Monitoring becomes your responsibility.

– Wrong decisions hurt long-term goals.
– Emotional exits are common.

– Regular funds provide guidance.
– Certified Financial Planner support adds value.

– Behaviour control protects returns.

» Tax awareness for mutual funds
– Equity mutual fund long-term gains face tax.
– Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.

– Tax rate is 12.5 percent.
– Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.

– Debt fund gains follow slab rates.

– Tax planning must align with withdrawals.

» Education funding investment approach
– Use stable and balanced funds.
– Avoid aggressive exposure close to need.

– Gradually reduce risk as goal nears.
– Protect capital before usage.

» Marriage funding approach
– Balanced growth approach is suitable.
– Do not chase high returns.

– Ensure funds are available on time.

» Retirement funding approach
– Long-term horizon allows growth focus.
– Equity-oriented funds are essential.

– Volatility is acceptable now.
– Time smoothens risk.

» Review of existing retirement assets
– Provident savings ensure base security.
– Pension savings add longevity support.

– These assets should remain untouched.
– They form your safety net.

» Inflation impact awareness
– Education inflation is very high.
– Medical inflation rises faster.

– Retirement expenses increase steadily.
– Growth assets fight inflation.

» Insurance protection check
– Ensure adequate life cover.
– Family must remain protected.

– Health cover must be sufficient.
– Medical costs can derail plans.

» Estate and nomination hygiene
– Ensure nominations are updated.
– Family clarity avoids future stress.

– Consider writing a Will.
– This ensures smooth asset transfer.

» Behavioural discipline importance
– Market noise creates confusion.
– Stick to your plan.

– Avoid frequent changes.
– Consistency brings results.

» Review and tracking rhythm
– Review investments once a year.
– Avoid daily monitoring.

– Adjust based on life changes.
– Keep goals priority-based.

» Risk capacity versus risk tolerance
– Your risk capacity is moderate.
– Your responsibilities are high.

– Avoid extreme strategies.
– Balance comfort and growth.

» Psychological comfort in planning
– Your base is already strong.
– Time supports your goals.

– Discipline will do the heavy work.
– Panic is your biggest enemy.

» Finally
– Yes, achieving Rs. 80 lacs is possible.
– Time and discipline are in your favour.

– Start structured investing immediately.
– Increase contributions with income growth.

– Keep goals separated mentally.
– Stay invested during volatility.

– Your journey looks stable and hopeful.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi , I am 50 years old having wife and 1 kid. I got laid off in March 2025 and currently running my own company since July 2025 where in I had invested Rs. 2.50 lacs. At present I am not taking any money from the company but we are not making any losses either. I am having an Investment of 1) 30 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 2) 20 lacs in NSC maturing in year 2030. 3) 9 lacs in Mutual Funds. 4) 45 lacs in Equity which i intend to liquidate and put in Mutual Funds. 5) 75 lacs in PPF, PF & NPS. 6) Wife earning 50 lacs annually. 7) She has 40 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 8) 1.20 Cr. in PPF, PF & NPS. 9) We also own 2 properties with current fair market value of Rs. 5 Cr. 10) One property is giving us rent of Rs. 66K per month. 11) Apart from this we are also expecting to get ~ Rs. 2.50 Cr. over next 15 years for the insurance policies getting matured. Expenses & Liabilities: 1) Monthly expenses of Rs. 4.50 lacs which includes Rent, Insurance premium, EMI against Education loan for my kid's, Medical premium, Travel, Grocery and other miscl. expenses. 2) Car loan EMI of 40,000 per month which is included in the Rs. 4.50 lacs monthly expenses. This loan is till March 2027. 3) Education loan of Rs. 1.05 Cr. with current liability of Rs. 80 lacs as we paid Rs. 25 lacs to the Bank as prepayment. We need to spend ~ Rs. 40 lacs more to support for the kid education in USA till year 2027. 4) We intend to pay the entire Education loan by max. 2030. My question is, will this be enough for me and my wife for the retirement as my wife intends to work till 2037 if everything goes fine (when she turns 60) and I will continue running my company looking at taking Rs. 1 lacs per month from it from next FY.
Ans: You have built strong assets with discipline and patience.
Your financial journey shows clarity, courage, and long-term thinking.
Despite job loss, stability is well protected.
Your family position is better than most Indian households.

» Current life stage understanding
– You are 50 years old with working spouse.
– One child pursuing overseas education.
– You are semi-employed through your own business.
– Your wife has strong income visibility.
– This phase needs protection, not aggressive risk.

– Cash flow control matters more than returns now.
– Liquidity planning is extremely important.
– Emotional decisions must be avoided.

» Employment transition and business assessment
– Job loss was sudden but handled calmly.
– Starting your company shows confidence and skill.
– Initial investment of Rs. 2.50 lacs is reasonable.
– Zero loss position is a good sign.

– No salary draw reduces pressure on business.
– Planned Rs. 1 lac monthly draw is sensible.
– This keeps household stability intact.
– Business income should be treated as variable.

– Do not overestimate future business income.
– Use it only as a support pillar.

» Family income stability review
– Wife earning Rs. 50 lacs annually is a major strength.
– Her income anchors your retirement plan.
– Employment till 2037 gives long runway.

– Her savings discipline looks excellent.
– Large retirement corpus already exists.
– This reduces pressure on your assets.

– You should align plans jointly.
– Retirement must be treated as family goal.

» Asset allocation snapshot assessment
– You hold assets across cash, debt, equity, and retirement buckets.
– Diversification already exists.
– That shows mature planning habits.

– Savings and FDs give immediate liquidity.
– NSC gives defined maturity comfort.
– Equity exposure is meaningful.
– Retirement accounts are strong.

– Real estate is end-use, not investment.
– Rental income adds safety.

» Savings accounts and FDs analysis
– Rs. 30 lacs in savings and FDs offer flexibility.
– Wife holding Rs. 40 lacs adds cushion.

– This covers emergencies and education gaps.
– Liquidity is sufficient for next three years.

– Avoid keeping excess idle cash long-term.
– Inflation quietly erodes value.

– Use this bucket for planned withdrawals.

» NSC maturity planning
– Rs. 20 lacs maturing in 2030 is well timed.
– This aligns with education loan closure.

– This can be earmarked for debt repayment.
– Do not link this to retirement spending.

– It gives psychological comfort.

» Mutual fund exposure review
– Existing mutual fund holding is small.
– Rs. 9 lacs needs scaling gradually.

– Your plan to shift equity into funds is wise.
– This improves risk management.

– Mutual funds suit retirement phase better.
– They provide professional management.

– Avoid sudden large transfers.
– Phased movement reduces timing risk.

» Direct equity exposure evaluation
– Rs. 45 lacs in equity needs careful handling.
– Market volatility can hurt emotions.

– Concentration risk exists in direct equity.
– Monitoring requires time and skill.

– Gradual exit is sensible.
– Move funds into diversified mutual funds.

– Avoid panic selling.
– Use market strength periods for exits.

» Retirement accounts strength review
– Combined PF, PPF, and NPS is very strong.
– Your Rs. 75 lacs is meaningful.
– Wife’s Rs. 1.20 Cr is excellent.

– These assets ensure base retirement security.
– They protect longevity risk.

– Do not disturb these accounts prematurely.
– Let compounding continue.

» Real estate role clarity
– Two properties worth Rs. 5 Cr add net worth comfort.
– One property gives Rs. 66k monthly rent.

– Rental income supports expenses partially.
– This reduces portfolio withdrawal stress.

– Do not consider new property investments.
– Focus on financial assets.

» Insurance maturity inflows assessment
– Expected Rs. 2.50 Cr over 15 years is valuable.
– This gives future liquidity.

– These inflows should not be spent casually.
– They must be reinvested wisely.

– Align maturity money with retirement phase.

» Expense structure evaluation
– Monthly expense of Rs. 4.50 lacs is high.
– This includes many essential heads.

– Education, rent, insurance, travel are significant.
– EMI burden is temporary.

– Expenses will reduce after 2027.
– That improves retirement readiness.

» Car loan review
– EMI of Rs. 40,000 till March 2027 is manageable.
– This is already included in expenses.

– No action required here.
– Avoid new vehicle loans.

» Education loan strategy
– Education loan balance of Rs. 80 lacs is large.
– Overseas education requires careful funding.

– Planned additional Rs. 40 lacs till 2027 is realistic.
– Do not compromise retirement assets for education.

– Target full closure by 2030 is practical.
– Use NSC maturity and surplus income.

– Avoid using retirement accounts for repayment.

» Cash flow alignment till 2027
– Wife’s income covers majority expenses.
– Rental income adds support.

– Business draw of Rs. 1 lac helps.
– Savings bridge shortfalls.

– Cash flow mismatch risk is low.

» Retirement readiness assessment
– Combined family net worth is strong.
– Retirement corpus foundation is already built.

– Major expenses peak before 2027.
– After that, burden reduces.

– Wife working till 2037 adds security.
– This delays retirement withdrawals.

» Post-2037 retirement picture
– After wife retires, expenses will drop.
– No education costs.
– No major EMIs.

– Medical costs will rise gradually.
– Planning buffers already exist.

– Rental income continues.

» Mutual fund strategy for future
– Shift equity proceeds into diversified mutual funds.
– Use a mix of growth-oriented and balanced approaches.

– Avoid index-based investing.
– Index funds lack downside protection.

– They move fully with markets.
– No human judgement is applied.

– Actively managed funds adjust allocations.
– They protect better during volatility.

– Skilled managers add value over cycles.

» Direct funds versus regular funds clarity
– Regular funds offer guidance and discipline.
– Ongoing review is critical at this stage.

– Direct funds require self-monitoring.
– Errors can be costly near retirement.

– Behaviour management matters more than cost.
– Professional handholding reduces mistakes.

– Use mutual fund distributors with CFP credentials.

» Tax awareness on mutual funds
– Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed.
– Tax rate is 12.5 percent.

– Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.
– Debt mutual fund gains follow slab rates.

– Plan withdrawals tax efficiently.
– Do not churn unnecessarily.

» Withdrawal sequencing in retirement
– Start withdrawals from surplus funds first.
– Use rental income for regular expenses.

– Keep retirement accounts untouched initially.
– Delay withdrawals improves longevity.

– Insurance maturity inflows can fund later years.

» Medical and health planning
– Medical inflation is a major risk.
– Ensure adequate health cover.

– Review coverage every three years.
– Build separate medical contingency fund.

– Avoid dipping into equity during emergencies.

» Estate and succession clarity
– Assets are large and diverse.
– Proper nominations are critical.

– Draft a clear Will.
– Review beneficiaries periodically.

– Avoid family disputes later.

» Psychological comfort and risk control
– You are financially strong.
– Avoid fear-driven decisions.

– Avoid chasing returns.
– Stability matters more now.

– Keep plans simple and review yearly.

» Finally
– Yes, your assets are sufficient for retirement.
– Discipline must continue.

– Control expenses during transition years.
– Avoid large lifestyle upgrades.

– Focus on asset allocation, not market timing.
– Your retirement future looks secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6751 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Career
Sir i have given 12th in 2025 and passed with 69% but not given jee exam in 2025 and not in 2026 also But i want iit anyhow sir is this possible that i give 12th in 2027 and cleared 75 criteria then give jee mains and also i am eligible for jee advanced
Ans: You have already appeared for and passed the Class 12 examination in 2025. As per the eligibility criteria, only two consecutive attempts for JEE (Advanced) are permitted—the first in 2025 and the second in 2026. Therefore, you will not be eligible to appear for JEE (Advanced) in 2027. Reappearing for Class 12 does not reset or extend JEE (Advanced) eligibility.

However, you can still achieve your goal of studying at an IIT through an alternative and well-established pathway. You may take admission to an undergraduate engineering program of your choice, appear for the GATE examination in your final year, and secure a qualifying score to gain admission to a postgraduate program at a top IIT.

This is a strong and viable route to IIT. At this stage, it would be advisable to move forward by enrolling in an engineering program rather than focusing again on Class 12, JEE Main, or JEE Advanced.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x