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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My husband and I have arranged marriage. I am 37 , I have High PMS problems with mood swings, inability to do regular work. Though I have tried to tell him that he may need to be patient about what I say during those 10 days, I feel he doesn't understand this. He gives me example of his mother or sister and how they didn't face this issue. I m highly irritable and unsure of myself and how I will react during this phases leading to conflict. I feel that he doesn't understand me and it makes me guilty, depressed and I don't know what to do. I want to remain silent during these phases. Now I have a function to attend of his relatives during this time, but I don't want to talk to anyone and don't have the energy to pretend. But I know he won't understand this as well.

Ans: it's understandable that you're feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Dealing with mood swings and high levels of irritability during PMS can be difficult, and it's important to have understanding and support from your partner. Try to have an open and honest conversation with your husband during a time when you're both calm and relaxed. Explain to him the nature of your high PMS symptoms, how they affect you, and what you need from him during those times. Express your feelings and concerns, and let him know that his understanding and support are crucial for you.Provide your husband with information about premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and its symptoms. Help him understand that every person's experience with PMS is different, and just because his mother or sister didn't face similar issues doesn't mean your experiences are invalid.It's okay to set boundaries for yourself, especially during times when you're feeling overwhelmed or irritable. Let your husband know that during your difficult days, you might need some space and time alone to recharge. Assure him that it's not personal and that you still love him, but you need to take care of yourself. Focus on self-care techniques that can help alleviate your symptoms during PMS, such as regular exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness meditation, and relaxation techniques. Prioritize activities that help you feel more grounded and balanced. Consider consulting with a healthcare professional or therapist who specializes in women's health or mental health. They can provide you with personalized strategies and support to manage your PMS symptoms and any associated emotional difficulties. If you feel too drained to attend the function, communicate this to your husband. Explain that you're not feeling up to socializing due to your PMS symptoms, and ask for his understanding and support in skipping the event. If it's absolutely necessary for you to attend, try to find ways to conserve your energy, such as limiting interactions and taking breaks when needed.Remember that it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and advocate for your needs in your relationship. Your husband may need time to adjust and understand, but with patience, empathy, and clear communication, you can work together to find solutions that benefit both of you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I recently got married. I find it hard to live with my mother in law as she wants to micromanage. My husband keeps telling me that things are gonn be alright once you both understand each other ( His mother and I) due in time. My husband hardly stays at home due to work. I find it unfair that I’m made to adjust to his difficult mother while he continues to go about his life. Although we agreed to stay together with his mother after we are married, now that I’m finding it hard and I have requested him multiple times to do something about it since it’s effecting my mental health. And my point is that since it’s hard for me and since he is my husband why can’t he make some arrangements for me to live separate, example by making excuse of my workplace being too far from his house etc. But what he only says is ‘ Everything will be fine with time’ and I find this statement itself dismissing my difficulties. While he hardly stays at home he leaves me behind to adjust to his difficult mother is also something I find unjust. What shall I do
Ans: You’re absolutely right to voice your concerns; it’s a major transition, and feeling micromanaged can take a toll on anyone. But it’s also clear that your husband feels a sense of duty towards his mother and believes that, over time, things may settle naturally as you get to know each other better. While his optimism might feel dismissive, it’s likely coming from his hope that time will help ease things for both of you.

Taking a step back, it might be helpful to consider his perspective. For him, there’s likely a deep-rooted loyalty and sense of care for his mother, perhaps much like what you might feel if it were your own mother. He might hope that the three of you can coexist peacefully and that, with patience, you and his mother will reach an understanding. It’s possible he’s trying to avoid confrontation, believing it will make things harder for everyone.

Perhaps, try to find a balance that respects both your needs and his family obligations. You could approach him with empathy by acknowledging, “I understand that you want us to grow closer and that it’s important for you to support your mother. I’d feel the same if it were my own mother.” But you can gently express that, despite your efforts, the situation is taking a toll on your mental health and that a temporary solution, like living separately, could actually help everyone in the long run. Let him know that you want to build a strong relationship with his mother, but to do so, a bit of breathing room may help you approach her with more patience and understanding.

Opening the door to his perspective in this way might soften his stance and encourage him to consider arrangements that balance everyone’s well-being. By approaching the situation together, as a team, you’re more likely to find a solution that honors both his responsibilities and your need for space, making room for a more peaceful family dynamic in the long term.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Dr. I am 27 year women with a 5 year old girl and 7 months pregnant. I was married 9 years ago. We faced many ups and downs in our life. Three years back , I went to dubai where my husband was working, to spend with him. But as a mobile addict , most of the time he will be on mobile when he was at home or sleeping. We spend little quality time . That too on my or my daughter's insist. Later I got job there as a teacher @ school . I worked there about two years when I got pregnant I return back to my home country. As he was resigned in search of better opportunity, even he is also with me in India now. He is short tempered and whenever he talks he raises his voice. For every single thing he is worried and shouting at me . It makes me feel sad. He is not bothered about my health and if I ask something like fruits to buy he will get angry saying that I am the one who is to manage the expenses and he can't afford buying things for me. He blames me for single thing. I need to ask permission for spending my money. He is in charge of taking care of my money. Main thing that I can't digest from his side is that he demands me to obey him like a slave. He says that how we are to the God , likewise you should obey and bear what ever from his side. Till that my love towards him isn't completed that is what he says. He never ever gives me a chance to explain or communicate my issues. Now I feel emotionally mentally very distant from him. I am staying at my home . Though his house is nearby mine, he rarely find time to visit me or call me. What should I do?
Ans: Your husband's behavior, as you've explained, reflects patterns of control and a lack of empathy for your well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, open communication, and partnership, not dominance or one-sided expectations. The idea that you should obey him like a slave is deeply concerning and goes against the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. His unwillingness to engage in meaningful communication or to show care during your pregnancy exacerbates the emotional distance you feel.

Right now, your primary focus should be on your mental and physical health and that of your children, both born and unborn. It's important to have a support system around you. Being with your family at this time seems like a good decision, as it gives you some space from the negativity and an opportunity to focus on yourself.

You deserve to feel heard, valued, and supported in your marriage. It's worth considering having a candid conversation with your husband when emotions are not heightened, explaining how his behavior affects you and the marriage. If he is unwilling to listen or dismisses your feelings, it may be time to consider seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling, where both of you can work on your relationship dynamics in a neutral and supportive environment.

If he refuses to engage in any efforts to improve the relationship or continues to demand unquestioning obedience without regard for your well-being, you might need to reflect on whether this relationship aligns with the life you envision for yourself and your children. No one deserves to feel like they are unworthy or diminished in their own home.

Remember, taking care of your emotional well-being is not just about your own happiness but also about creating a nurturing environment for your children. You are strong, and you have already shown resilience by navigating this challenging relationship and focusing on your responsibilities. Trust in your ability to make decisions that prioritize your dignity, health, and future. If you ever feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist who can provide support tailored to your circumstances and guide you through these difficult emotions.

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Latest Questions
Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |314 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir, Saranya from chennai. Doing final year B pharm. Heard about gpat from my friends How to do this entrance exam for joining pg course Please tell me if any other entrance exam is there for pg
Ans: Hi Saranya,

As you mentioned, many pharmacy graduates are considering the GPAT after completing their undergraduate studies in pharmacy. However, there are several more options available for pursuing a postgraduate degree in pharmacy today.

Here are the options for pursuing a PG in pharmacy:

1. GPAT: You can appear for the GPAT exam, and if you qualify, you will be eligible for a scholarship.

2. NIPER: You can also take the entrance exam for NIPER (National Institute of Pharmaceutical Education and Research) campuses, which include Ahmedabad, Guwahati, Hajipur, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Raebareli, and Mohali. Qualifying here also makes you eligible for a scholarship.

3. PG-CUET: A new option is the PG-CUET (Common University Entrance Test), which is being conducted by the NTA (National Testing Agency) under the Department of Higher Education.

4. Government Institutions: State governments will announce admission through advertisements. Admission will be based on marks or an entrance exam.

5. Deemed Universities: Some deemed universities offer admission through their own entrance exams.

Historically, GPAT and NIPER were the primary options for national-level aspirants. Starting from the academic year 2025-26, the NTA will also conduct the PG-CUET for national-level admissions.

I have included more details about the PG-CUET below.
PGCUET (CODE - SCQP23)
The Common University Entrance Test (CUET) is a National level Test conducted for admission into PG programmes in Central, State, and Participating Universities/ Institutions. The Common University Entrance Test CUET (PG) will provide a common platform and equal opportunity to candidates across the country, especially those from rural and other remote areas, and help establish better connections with the Universities. A single application form will enable the Candidates to cover a wide outreach and be part of the admission process to various Central and participating Universities. NTA has been assigned the responsibility of conducting the Common University Entrance Test (CUET).

Under Participating universities/instituttions are: Central and State Universities, Deemed and Private universities and Government institutuions.

Candidate must only select the test paper code. As the list of universities is dynamic and keeps on changing during the registration period.

A candidate can apply for two (02) Test Papers by paying the application fee (details mentioned at point 18).

A candidate can further apply for (02) additional Test Papers by paying additional application fees as applicable and maximum of four (04) test paper codes can be selected.

Mode of exam is CBT (Computer Based Test).
All Question Papers will be MCQ type. • Candidates can choose a maximum of four question paper codes. • The comprehension section in the General Paper will be available in either English or Hindi, based on the candidate's preference indicated during registration. • The duration of the Exam would be 90 Minutes. • The Question paper will have 75 Questions. • Four marks will be awarded for each correct answer and one mark will be deducted for each wrong answer.
• Language papers will be in the concerned language only.
• M.Tech/Higher Sciences will be in English only.
•Acharya papers will be in Sanskrit except for Hindu Studies, Indian Knowledge System, and Baudha Darshan.
• Humanities, Sciences, and Common papers would be bilingual (English and Hindi).
• The examination would be conducted in 2-3 shifts.
• The English version of the questions in all the question papers except languages and Acharya will be taken as final.

Syllabus: The Examination Syllabus will be uploaded on the Exam.

For the current year the examination dates (13.03.2025 to 31.03.2025) got over. iI THINK YOU HAVE MISSED IT. DONT WORRY. NEXT YEAR YOU CAN TRY OR YOU CAN ASSIST YOUR JUNIORS.

ADMISSION: Admissions will be handled at the level of each of the participating Universities for their respective programmes. After the declaration of the CUET(PG) 2025 results, the respective Universities will declare the counselling/admission schedule and merit list based on the CUET (PG) - 2025 score and any other criteria of participating universities. Please see the website of the concerned university for details regarding admission. There may be admission counselling by the universities with additional fees.

Applicants as per eligibility can apply for multiple test paper codes in one registration form. Candidates should not apply through duplicate or multiple forms, which may lead to the cancellation of all his/her Application Forms

CODE FOR PHARMACY: SCQP-23
SYLLABUS [POC, PIC, MATHS, OC - II, MICRO, APH (I&II), PHARM ENGINEERING, DCH PHARMACY, PHARM ANALYSIS (I -IV ), COGNOSY, CEUTICS-II, BIOCHEM, JURIS, COSMETICS, PHARM TECH, MED CHEM I-III, PHARMACOLOGY I-IV, BIOTECH, DRUG DESIGN, MARKETING, FOOD SCIENCE, QA, MANAGEMENT] HAS SHARED IN NTA WEBSITE.

THIS YEAR 57 INSTITUTIONS PARTICIPATED FOR THE SAID PURPOSE. NEXT YEAR THIS MAY INCREASE.

THE ADVANTAGES ARE NOT ONLY CAN PURSUE PHARMACY, APART FROM PHARMACY, YOU CAN PURSUE - DATA SCIENCE & AI, PUBLIC HEALTH, BIOINFORMATICS, PACKAGING TECH, ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT, GEOSPATIAL SCIENCE, PG DIP IN AI DIGITAL IMAGING, HEALTH CARE DATA, GEOINFORMATICS, PB-PHARMD, M.PHARM-PV, MSc- MICRO, MSc-NUTRITION, DIETICS.

I believe this information will be beneficial for your future education.

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |314 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025Hindi
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Career
I am a 12th student now in state board of tamil Nadu and I am a government school student what is the minimum requirement for me to join mbbs in AFMC medical College
Ans: The following requirements are mandatory for admission to AFMC.

Age: 17-24yrs
Academic qualitfication: FIRST ATTEMPT with English, Physics, Chemistry and Biology/ Bio-technology taken simultaneously and securing not less than 60% of the aggregate marks in these three science subjects taken together and not less than 50% marks in English and 50% marks in each of the science subjects. They must have also passed an examination in Mathematics of the tenth standard.
Candidates seeking admission for MBBS course at AFMC Pune will have to mandatorily qualify the NEET UG 2024 Examination conducted by National Testing Agency (NTA). 11. Eligible candidates who are interested to join AFMC, Pune to pursue the MBBS course will have to mandatorily register and apply for AFMC, Pune on DGHS

The shortlisted candidates will be called for screening which comprises of Test of English Language and Reasoning (ToELR), Psychological Assessment Test (PAT), Interview and Medical Examination at AFMC, Pune.

ToELR & PAT - Test of English Language and Reasoning (ToELR) in the form of Computer Based Test (CBT) and also Psychological Assessment Test (PAT) to be conducted at AFMC, Pune only for candidates shortlisted for interview. (t) Written Examination Score - Score obtained in NEET (UG) 2024 (720 marks) added to ToELR Score (80 marks) divided by 4 to get a score out of 200. (u) Final Score - Written examination score (200 marks) + Interview marks (50 marks).

MEDICAL FITNESS: MANDATORY AS PER AFMC

ALL THE BEST

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

...Read more

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