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Confused wife: Can't move forward without forgiveness from emotionally distant husband

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
Relationship

Hello, I am a 42 year old woman with a 14 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. Ours was an arranged marriage. I got married at age 23 and my husband is just 2 years older to me. Right from the beginning my husband is great at cooking, household chores etc but never expresses romance openly. I was always a emotional woman who slowly turned to him and stopped expressing my needs well. So far out marriage was great cos I avoided confrontations and arguments. Only thing was he was always a critical person and I am emotional girl . Since I cld not express myself clearly as he never heard me, my communication with him sounded nagging, comparing and complaining. In 2011, he cheated on me and I learnt on his affair. I did not know how to process this phase so immediately forgave him within 2-3 days and even ended up being pregnant with my daughter. However he never used to speak on his past affair not were my feelings resolved. Whenever he would speak rudely or yelled at kids or me for little things, the past trauma would trigger and I would openly remind him of his grave mistake. This went on and he would get agitated and keep quiet. One day he did tell me that lifelong he needs to live with this past of me reminding him. But he has never understood the trauma I have gone through. I have just repressed it all along. Cut short 2024- there is lots of resentment with us. In 2022, I saw messages that he exchanged with another lady colleague on romantic songs , good morning messages and they would casually meet for lunch etc . This time I flew in rage and assumed he has cheated on me again. Told him first time I was a fool who didn't notice things right under my nose and now this is the latest. We had a big fight. I reminded him of his dirty past. At first he looked shocked from these allegations and told me he will clarify everything later. But next day in 2022 , when I asked him, he appeared to be a changed man and sounded more confident that he didn't do anything wrong. I pestered him to take me to office, we went to his office I met this lady and politely told her to stop sending good morning messages to my husband. I indirectly told her I have trust issues because of a past but did not elaborate. My husband who had taken me to the office , later was annoyed because apparently the woman colleague was annoyed about me coming to office and also mentioned about my trust issues. At this point this great husband spilt out to her that he had cheated on me. I never ever disclosed anything to her. Later he messaged me saying he was very annoyed and upset that I disclosed the dirty past to his colleague and if anything happens to his job he will never forgive me. I did tell him I never disclosed but he did not belive me. From 2022 until now we are almost in a silent divorce phase. We sleep in different bedroom and only communicate basic stuff on milk, curd , veggies etc He had never connected to me emotionally and would always get annoyed when I wld cry or show my frustrations. Now after all this he has literally cut me off emotionally. In this period from 2022-till now I did try to get back to normal but his vibes are very negative and disconnected. So even I too started distancing myself. During 2022, after the incident he had mentioned on how it is important to work, ve independent and how he favours open relationships ( non sexually). I was always working but earned lesser and used to depend on him a lot. Now I have changed in these 2 years, I have a better job and am not at all dependent on him emotionally, physically or mentally. Infact I pitch in to our household expenses.Our lives are totally disconnected and we there just for the kids. He cooks for all of us, I take care of remaining chores and help them in their studies . We don't attend family events and this has left many guessing on our status. I have lot of unresolved emotions and since he cannot process my emotions or least interested to hear me out I don't know when I will explode. I am just repressing my feelings and keeping a happy cheerful face for the family and kids. We even went for a vacation for kids sake where we just interacted with kids. Kids know things are not allright and pray for us together. I know this isn't healthy for me and I will invite psychosomatic issues in life later on. I am still attached to him and maybe once he expresses a sorry or a remorse and have a hope we can fall back in love again. Why can he never understand that emotional trauma that I have gone through Inspite of being loyal to him always. For once if he just uses kind words and apologises I will forever love him and forget everything.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband perhaps is someone who is not great at conflict management; he finds it easier to avoid it and avoidance can mean that he hopes that it will go away or that you will stop talking about it or that he can find ways of actually pinning the blame on you for the way that he is feeling.
So, you will come across as nagging and may also feel guilty for asking him to listen to the way that you feel about the past incident. This is classic avoidance response from him that will make you wonder of you are actually wrong and at some point you may even start justifying his actions.
Repression is temporary; eventually all the emotions will collect themselves and hit back when you least expect it. If you want him to hear you and the way you have felt about his cheating, he will again get pushed into an avoidance mode. He has not learned any other way of handling conflicts. So, either you can go to couples counseling together OR you accept this side of him. Sounds too much to do, yeah? But how can you change a person who does not want to change. Some people also cannot express their love the way you have mentioned.
Since you still love him, I can only assume that the marriage holds a lot of significance for you. Then you can be happy only when he changes OR you accept him... which one seems more doable, start with that first...who knows if an external person like an expert can actually guide the two of you, things may fall in place!
I would also suggest requesting him for an honest chat where he is also in a space to LISTEN to you...try...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025
Relationship
Dear Anu, Am Shilpa,36 years old.Got married to a friend in 2015.It was a love come arranged.Initially married life was going smooth.I was working before marriage and due to marriage and relocation , discontinued the job. After marriage i started new job even though my husband was against it.Some misunderstanding started between us slowly and most of the adjustments were done by me to avoid fights.After 2 years we were blessed with a baby boy and i had to reluctantly and was also forced to quit job to take care of our kid.And i agreed and things went smoothly again for 3 more years.I got busy with my motherhood. I felt my husband was happy and was changing for the happy family. But i was wrong, he had a physical relationship with his ex college friend. They used to have sex in hotels. They even had sex chats and used to share nude pictures . This broke my heart completely and was disturbed mentally. I wanted to enquire my husband with all the proofs in my hand.without the proof he would prove me mentally retarded women. Initially he asaulted and abused me for blaming on him.But when he knew abt the proofs, he accepted and apologised for his mistake and begged me not to take divorce only for the sake of our son.Even i dropped the idea of divorce thinking the future of our son.Later few months he acted as if he changed himself completely but he always had disrespect on me and my parents. I even suffered domestic violence once which shattered me into pieces. Even then he apologised me and forced me to drop the idea of divorce. I again started to adjust and compromise with my life only because of my kid and his good future as all elders advice. This adjustments continued for few more months.But once i saw his ex girlfriend calls and daughter pics in his mobile, i was again mentally disturbed and after thinking many times, i made up my mind and left him without explanning him . I packed all my luggage and came to my parents with my kid. Now i got a job in which i opted work from home so that i can concentrate on my kid and support myself financially. Am trying to move on but my true love towards him is making it difficult. Please advice me on this Anu mam. The step which i took is right ? After seperation he is harassing me to visit son and kidnapped him 2 times. I really don't want to share my son with him.Please advice what should I do.
Ans: Dear Shilpa,
You have done what you needed to in order to protect your child and your sanity. Your husband could never get over his affair and he possibly won't. He maybe never even tried...

I firmly suggest you go to the cops so that he does not try to take the child away...Also, have you thought about a legal separation? That will offer you and your child enough protection and it will stop his harassment. This is not an easy decision to make BUT what choice is he leaving you with? Kidnapping the child? If by kidnapping you mean that he takes away the child without informing you, please watch out and contact a lawyer. A BIG BIG RED FLAG...Act soon...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |234 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Money
Dear Naveen Sir, I am 55 Years old and have five more years in superannuation. My monthly take home is approx. 6 Lacs PM . I have accumulated 2 Cr. in MF , 1.5 Cr in PF , 1 Cr FD and NPS and LIC put all together will be approx 50 Lacs and payout will start from 2028 onwards. I have just booked one 4 BHK and take home loan which is construction linked plan . Possession will be in 2029. My Daughter and Son are on Marriage age but both are also earning handsomely as they are in 30% bracket of IT . Have parental property approx 1.5 Cr which i will get in due course of the time. Monthly expenses are approx 1 Lacs only . Please suggest the way forward for next 5 Years .....how and where i start investing ....
Ans: Dear Sir
For a comprehensive QPFP level financial planning and retirement assessment we request the following details. These inputs will allow financial planner to prepare an accurate inflation-adjusted roadmap covering risk protection, income stability, investment strategy and long-term financial security.
________________________________________
1. Personal and Family Details
Your age and planned retirement year.
Spouse’s age, working status and future income expectations.
Number of dependents and their financial reliance on you.
Any major medical conditions in the family.
________________________________________
2. Parents’ Health and Financial Dependence
Current health condition of parents.
Do they have their own medical insurance cover.
Sum insured and type of policy.
Any critical illness or pre-existing conditions.
Monthly financial support you provide to them if any.
Expected future medical or caretaker expenses.
________________________________________
3. Income and Cash Flow
Monthly take home income.
Expected increments or bonuses for the next five years.
Monthly household expense structure.
Existing EMIs and financial commitments.
Monthly surplus available for investments.
Any expenses expected to rise due to inflation or lifestyle changes.
________________________________________
4. Home Loan and Liabilities
Sanctioned home loan amount, interest rate and tenure.
Current disbursement status under construction linked plan.
Your plan for EMI servicing and part-prepayment.
Any other loans or financial liabilities.
________________________________________
5. Real Estate Profile
Is this 4 BHK your first home or do you own other properties.
Any rental income from existing properties.
Purpose of the new 4 BHK after retirement for self, parents or children.
Your plan for the parental house. Retain, sell or rent.
Where you plan to settle post retirement.
________________________________________
6. Investment Portfolio
Current mutual fund corpus and category-wise split.
SIP amounts and investment horizon.
PF, EPF, PPF and other retirement scheme balances.
Fixed deposit amounts, maturity periods and ownership structure for DICGC protection.
NPS allocations Tier 1 and Tier 2.
LIC policies with surrender value and maturity year.
Any bonds, NCDs, PMS, private equity or invoice discounting exposure.
________________________________________
7. Emergency Preparedness
Current emergency fund value.
Loan facility available against MF or FD.
Any credit line for medical or sudden expenses.
________________________________________
8. Insurance Protection (Self and Spouse)
Term insurance coverage and policy details.
Health insurance sum assured and insurer.
Top-up or super top-up cover details.
Critical illness and accident cover status.
Adequacy of insurance after accounting for inflation.
________________________________________
9. Children’s Goals and Planning
Are you contributing financially to your children's planning.
Any corpus set aside for their marriage.
Children’s own investment and insurance setup.
Any future goals involving them.
________________________________________
10. Retirement Vision and Income Planning
Expected retirement lifestyle and monthly cost adjusted for inflation.
Your preferred retirement income structure
SWP from mutual funds
Annuity or pension products
PF interest
NPS annuity
Rental income
Plans to monetise or downsize real estate if needed.
Any travel, medical or lifestyle goals post retirement.
________________________________________
11. Estate and Succession Planning
Will availability and last update date.
Nominations across MF, PF, NPS, FD, LIC, demat and bank accounts.
Any instructions for asset distribution.
________________________________________
Next Step
Only Once you share these details, financial planner can prepare a complete five year roadmap covering asset allocation, inflation-adjusted corpus projections, loan strategy, insurance adequacy, medical preparedness, pension and SWP planning, liquidity management and post-retirement income stability.


Disclaimer / Guidance:
The above analysis is generic in nature and based on limited data shared. For accurate projections — including inflation, tax implications, pension structure, and education cost escalation — it is strongly advised to consult a qualified QPFP/CFP or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). They can help prepare a comprehensive retirement and goal-based cash flow plan tailored to your unique situation.
Financial planning is not only about returns; it’s about ensuring peace of mind and aligning your money with life goals. A professional planner can help you design a safe, efficient, and realistic roadmap toward your ideal retirement.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai
044-31683550

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10876 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Money
Im aged 40 years and my husband is aged 48 years. We have one son aged 8 years and daughter aged 12 years. We both are in business. What should be the ideal corpus to meet their education at the age of 18 years for both children? Present business income we can save Rs.50000 pm
Ans: You are thinking early. That itself is a smart step. Many parents postpone planning and later struggle with loans. You are not in that situation. So appreciate your approach.

You asked about ideal corpus for higher education. Education cost is rising fast. So planning early avoids financial pressure later.

You have two kids. Your daughter is 12. Your son is 8. You have around six years for your daughter and around ten years for your son. With this time frame, you need a proper structured plan.

» Understanding Future Education Cost

Education inflation in India is high. It is increasing year after year. Even professional courses are becoming costly. College fees, hostel fees, books, digital tools and transportation also add cost.

You need to consider this inflation. Higher education cost will not remain at today’s value. It will grow.

So if today a standard undergraduate program costs around a few lakhs, in six to ten years the cost may go much higher. That is why estimating corpus should consider this future cost.

You don’t need exact numbers today. You need a target range to plan. A comfortable range gives clarity.

» Typical Cost Structure for Higher Education

Higher education cost depends on:

– Private or government institution
– Course type
– City or abroad option
– Duration

For engineering, medical, management or technology courses, cost goes higher. For government colleges the cost is lower but seats are limited. Private colleges are more accessible but expensive.

So planning based only on government college assumption may create funding gaps. Planning based on private college range gives safer margin.

» Suggested Corpus for Both Children

For your daughter, considering next six years gap and inflation, a target range should be higher. For your son, you have more time. So his corpus can grow better because compounding works more with time.

For a comfortable education corpus that covers most course possibilities, many families plan for a higher number. It gives flexibility to choose better college without stress.

So you can aim for a larger goal for both children like this:

– Daughter: Target a strong education fund for next six years
– Son: Target a similar or slightly higher fund for the next ten years because future costs may be higher

You may not need the whole amount if your child chooses a less expensive route. But having extra cushion gives peace.

» Your Savings Ability

You mentioned you can save Rs.50000 monthly. That is a strong saving capacity. But this saving should not go entirely to a single goal. You will also need future retirement planning, emergency fund and other life goals.

Still, a reasonable portion of this amount can be allocated towards education planning. Some families divide savings based on urgency and time horizon. Since daughter’s goal is near, she may need a more stable allocation.

Your son’s goal is long term. So his part can stay in growth asset for longer.

» Choosing the Right Investment Style

A long term goal like your son’s education needs equity exposure. Equity gives better potential for long term growth. It beats inflation better than fixed deposits.

But for your daughter, pure equity can create risk because goal is nearer. Market fluctuations may affect final corpus. So she needs a balanced asset mix.

So investment approach must be different for both.

» Asset Allocation Strategy

For your daughter with six year horizon:

– Higher allocation to a balanced type category
– Some allocation to equity through diversified categories
– Step down equity allocation in final three years

This structure protects capital in later years.

For your son with ten year horizon:

– Higher equity allocation at start
– Continue systematic investing
– Reduce risk allocation gradually closer to goal period

This helps growth and protection.

» Avoiding Wrong Investment Products

Parents often buy traditional insurance plans or children policies for education. These policies give low returns. They lock money and reduce wealth creation potential.

So avoid purely insurance based products for education goals. Insurance is separate. Investment is separate. This separation creates clarity and better growth.

If you already hold any ULIP or investment insurance product, it may not be efficient. Only if you have such policies then you may review and consider if surrender is needed and reinvest in mutual funds. If you don’t have such policies, no need to worry.

» Role of Actively Managed Mutual Funds

For long term goals, actively managed mutual funds offer better flexibility and expert management. They are designed to outperform inflation. A regular plan through a mutual fund distributor with CFP support helps with guidance. They also track your goal and give advice in volatile phases.

Direct funds look cheaper on expense ratio. But they lack advisory support. Long term investors often make emotional mistakes in direct investing. They stop SIPs or switch wrong schemes. So advisory backed investing avoids costly behaviour mistakes.

Index funds look simple and low cost. But they only follow the market. They don’t protect during corrections. There is no strategy or research. Actively managed funds adjust holdings based on market research and valuation. For life goals like education, smoother growth and strategy are needed.

So regular plan with advisory support helps you avoid unnecessary emotional decisions.

» Importance of Systematic Investing

A fixed monthly SIP gives discipline. It also benefits from market volatility. When markets fall, SIP buys more units. In rise phase, the value grows.

A structured SIP helps both goals. For daughter, SIP should shift towards low volatility funds slowly. For son, SIP can run longer in growth-oriented funds before reducing risk.

Your contribution amount may change based on future business income. But start now with whatever comfortable.

» Protecting the Goal With Insurance

Since you both are running business, income stability may fluctuate. So ensuring life security is important. Term insurance is the right option. It is low cost and high coverage.

This ensures child’s education is protected even if income stops.

Medical insurance also matters. A medical emergency should not break education savings.

» Reviewing the Plan Periodically

A fixed plan is good. But markets and life conditions change. So review once every twelve months.

Points to review:

– Are SIPs running on time?
– Is allocation suitable for goal year?
– Any need to shift from equity to safer category?
– Any tax planning advantage needed?

But avoid checking portfolio every week. Frequent checking creates stress.

» Education Goal Withdrawal Plan

As the daughter’s goal comes close:

– Stop SIP in high risk category
– Start shifting profit to debt type fund over systematic transfers
– Keep final year money in safe option like liquid category

Same formula should be applied for your son when his goal approaches.

This protects against last minute market crash.

» Emotional Side of Planning

Education is an emotional goal. Parents feel pressure to provide the best. But planning removes fear.

Saving consistently gives confidence. Having a plan helps avoid panic decisions. It also brings clarity of future expense.

This planning sets financial discipline for your children as well.

» Taxation Factors

When redeeming funds for education, tax rules will apply. For equity fund withdrawals, long term capital gains above exemption are taxed at 12.5% as per current rules. For short term within one year, tax is higher.

For debt investments, gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

So plan the withdrawal timing to reduce tax.

Tax planning near goal year is very important.

» What You Can Do Next

– Start separate investments for each child
– Use SIP for disciplined investing
– Choose growth-oriented asset for son
– Choose balanced and phased investment approach for daughter
– Review allocation yearly
– Protect the goal with insurance cover

Following these steps helps achieve the target corpus smoothly.

» Finally

You are already thinking in the right direction. You have time for both goals. You also have a good saving frequency. So you can build a strong education fund without stress.

Your children’s future will be secure if you continue with a structured and disciplined plan.

Stay consistent with your savings. Make investment choices carefully. Review and adjust calmly over time.

This journey will help you reach your ideal corpus for both children.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10876 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 09, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Regarding recent turmoils in global economic situation and trends, Trump's tariffs, relentless FII selling, should I be worried about midcap, large&midcap funds that I have in my mutual fund portfolio? I have been investing from last 4 years and want to invest for next 10 years only. And then plan to retire and move to SWP. I'm targeting a 10%-11% return eventually. And I don't want to make lower returns than FD's. Is now the time to switch from midcap, laege&midcap to conservative, large, flexi funds? Please suggest.
Ans: You have asked the right question at the right time. Many investors panic only after damage happens. You are thinking ahead. That is a strong habit.

You also have clarity about your goal, time horizon and expected returns. This mindset will help you handle market noise better.

» Current Market Sentiment and Global Events
The global economy is seeing stress. There are trade decisions, tariff announcements, and geopolitical issues. Foreign institutional investors are selling. News flow looks negative.
These events can cause short term volatility. Midcaps and small caps usually react faster during these phases. Even large caps show some stress.
But markets have seen many crises in the past. Elections, governments, conflicts, pandemics, financial crashes and tariff wars are not new events. Markets always recover over time.
Short term movements are unpredictable. Long term wealth creation depends more on patience and asset allocation.

» Your Time Horizon Matters More Than Market Noise
You have been investing for 4 years. You plan to invest for the next 10 years. That means your remaining maturity is long term.
For a 10 year goal, equity is suitable. Midcap and large and midcap funds are designed for long term investors. They are not meant for short periods.
If your time horizon is short, it is valid to worry about downside risk. But with 10 more years ahead, temporary volatility is normal and expected.
Short term fear should not drive long term decisions.

» Should You Switch to Conservative or Large Cap Now?
Switching based on panic or temporary news is not ideal. When you switch now, you lock the current lower value permanently. You also miss the recovery phase.
Large cap and flexi cap funds offer stability. But they also deliver lower growth potential during bull runs compared to midcaps.
Midcaps usually fall deeper when markets drop. But they also recover faster and often outperform in the next cycle.
Switching now may protect emotions but may reduce long term wealth creation.

» Target Return of 10% to 11% is Reasonable
Aiming for 10%-11% return with a 10 year investment horizon is realistic.
Fixed deposits now offer around 6.5% to 7.5%. After tax, the return becomes lower.
Equity funds have potential to generate better returns compared to FD over a long tenure. Midcap allocation contributes to this return potential.
So moving fully to conservative funds may reduce your ability to beat inflation comfortably.

» Impact of FII Selling
FII selling creates pressure on the market. But domestic investors including SIP flows are strong today. India is seeing strong structural growth.
Retail investors, mutual funds and systematic flows act as stabilizers.
FII selling is temporary and cyclical. It is not a permanent trend.

» Economic Slowdowns Create Opportunities
Corrections make valuations reasonable. This can benefit long term SIP investors.
During downturns, your SIP buys more units. During recovery, these units grow.
This mechanism works best in volatile categories like midcaps.
Stopping SIP or switching during dips blocks this benefit.

» Midcap Cycles Are Natural
Midcap funds move in cycles. They have phases of strong growth followed by correction. The correction phase is painful but temporary.
Every cycle contributes to future upside. Staying invested during all phases is important.
Many investors exit during downturns and enter again after markets rise. This behaviour produces lower returns than the mutual fund performance.

» Role of Portfolio Balance
Instead of exiting fully, review your asset allocation. You can hold a mix of:
– Large cap
– Flexi cap
– Midcap
– Large and midcap
This gives stability and growth potential.
Midcap should not be more than a suitable percentage for your age and risk tolerance. Since you are 36, some meaningful midcap exposure is fine.
If midcap exposure is very high, you can reduce slightly and move that portion to flexi cap or large cap funds slowly through a systematic transfer. Do not do a lump sum shift during panic.

» Behavioural Discipline Matters More Than Fund Selection
Market cycles test investor patience. Consistency in SIP and holding through declines builds wealth.
Most investors do not fail due to bad funds. They fail due to fear-based decisions.
Your approach should be systematic, not emotional.

» Do Not Compare with FD Frequently
FD gives predictable return. Equity gives volatile but higher potential return.
Comparing FD returns every time the market falls leads to wrong decisions.
FD is for safety. Equity is for growth. They serve different purposes.
Your retirement plan and SWP plan depends on growth. Only equity can provide that growth.

» Should You Change Strategy Because Retirement is 10 Years Away?
Now is not the time to exit growth segments. You are still in accumulation phase.
When you reach the last 3 years before retirement, then reducing equity exposure step by step is required.
At that stage, a glide path helps preserve gains. That time has not yet come.
So continue building wealth now.

» Market Timings and Shifts Rarely Work
Many investors try to predict markets. Most of them fail.
Switching based on news looks logical. But news and market timing rarely align.
Staying consistent with your asset allocation gives better results than frequent changes.

» Portfolio Review Approach
You can follow these steps:
– Continue SIPs in all categories
– Avoid stopping based on short term fears
– If midcap allocation is above comfort level, shift only small portion gradually
– Review allocation once in a year, not every month
This structured approach prevents emotional decisions.

» Tax Rules Matter When Switching
Switching between equity funds involves tax impact.
Short term capital gains tax is higher.
Long term capital gains above the exemption limit are taxed at 12.5%.
Switching without purpose can create avoidable tax leakage.
This reduces your compounding.

» When to Worry?
You need to reconsider only if:
– Your goal horizon becomes short
– Your risk appetite changes
– Your allocation becomes unbalanced
Not because of headlines or temporary corrections.

» Your Retirement SWP Plan
Once your accumulation phase is completed, you can shift to:
– Conservative hybrid
– Flexi cap
– Balanced allocation
This will support a smoother SWP.
But this transition should happen only closer to the retirement start date. Not now.

» SIP is Designed for Turbulent Years
SIP works best when markets are volatile. The hardest years for emotions are the most powerful for compounding.
Your long term discipline is your strategy.
Do not interrupt it.

» What You Should Do Now
– Stay invested
– Continue SIP
– Avoid panic selling
– Review allocation once a year
– Use a steady plan, not reactions
This will help you reach your target return range.

» Finally
You are on the right path. The current volatility is temporary. Your 10 year horizon gives enough time for recovery and growth.
Switching right now based on fear may reduce your future returns. Staying invested and continuing SIPs is the sensible approach.
Your goal of better return than FD is realistic. Equity can deliver that with patience.
Stay calm and systematic.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6740 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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