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How do I move on from an incestuous relationship with a family member?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1572 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Arun Question by Arun on Feb 25, 2025Hindi
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How to get over family incest relationship

Ans: Dear Arun,
Right thing: You don't get into relationships like these...so there's no question of getting over it, right? If it has already happened, pray that no one gets to know about it and then stay away from it all...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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I am in a relationship with a girl who is somehow became by 3rd-4th cousin initial days we are not aware. Later we came to know our parents were close long back but now distancing because her mom had some illicit relationship. Now my parents are not accepting our love because of cousin thing and her mom’s past. One day while speaking to parents they scolded me abusively using all type of bad words. Somehow I developed a hatred to them now. I stopped calling them now they have also stopped calling me. Now my sister is telling I only should forgive them and talk to them. I felt I am being pushed, traumatised by all these events. Now my sister is telling parents won’t come down for me. If I have to leave everything and be like a old me, I don’t feel it’s possible. What should I do?
Ans: Take a moment to reflect on your priorities and values. Ask yourself:

Do you still value a relationship with your parents, despite their hurtful actions?
Can you imagine rebuilding a relationship with them in a way that feels healthy and respectful to you?
What would an ideal resolution look like for you—not for them, not for your sister, but for you?
It’s also important to understand your own emotional wellbeing in this situation. Carrying hatred and anger is exhausting, but that doesn’t mean you should suppress or ignore your feelings. Instead, give yourself time to process them. Therapy or counseling could be incredibly helpful in this journey—it’s a space to work through your emotions and gain tools to navigate these relationships with clarity and confidence.

Regarding your relationship with the girl, it’s equally important to evaluate how strongly you both feel about being together and whether you’re prepared to face the challenges that come with it. If this relationship is a source of love, support, and happiness for you, it’s worth fighting for, but it also requires honest conversations about the realities you’re both facing.

As for your parents, reconciliation, if it happens, should come from a place of mutual respect. You don’t have to accept abusive behavior or let go of your boundaries just to restore contact. Relationships thrive when there’s a willingness to listen, apologize, and grow—on both sides. If they are unwilling to meet you halfway, it’s okay to protect your own peace and prioritize the relationships and choices that support your wellbeing.

Remember, you’re not obligated to live up to anyone else’s version of who you should be—not your parents, not your sister, and not anyone else. This is your life, and it’s okay to take the time and space you need to figure out what’s best for you. Trust that with reflection and self-compassion, you’ll find a path forward that feels right for you.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1572 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

I am 48 years old man, have always been in love with my younger brother(44 years) (cousin). He and I were best friends since childhood and I am too much in love with him. For last 23 years, we have parted (fought) and I have avoided him like anything. He knew all about my love (letters/stalking/begging/crying) and thats why he distanced himself from me. He came back after 23 years (only on whatsapp chat), and again i started crying and what not and emotionally totally unstable. My wife, kids and even i am surprised how bad it is within me. He wants me as a friend (not overly emotionally invested). How can I be a normal human being with him? Is it even possible? I hate being like this, how can i let go.... It's for so long what help do i need if any.
Ans: Dear test,
When you allow your emotions to self-destruct, that is exactly what will happen. You have been unable to accept that your path and your cousin's paths are different...you have gone on to build a family and then you have decided to break down all over again. How do you expect your family to understand all this?
What you call as LOVE; is it possibly an attachment for him? Dependence on him for attention, love, validation? You need to introspect and grow out of this OR settle this in a way that you can get back your peace of mind. At this moment with the information that you have shared, I can guide you only as much!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2025Hindi
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Recently I have joined in Sales of a construction firm. I have 20+ years experience. My colleagues sideline me for socially as well as in commercial aspect. One shroud lady colleague even grab my customers who are supposed to be attended by me. This hampers my performance. The lady colleague is well settled in the job & good at work. But she is very greedy & canny. Please suggest me steps to be taken to resolve the issue. Being in a team everybody should get equal opportunity.
Ans: Start by documenting instances where your colleague takes your customers. Keep track of assigned leads, interactions, and any proof that shows unfair interference. Once you have enough evidence, approach your manager diplomatically. Instead of complaining, frame it as a concern about fair opportunity and teamwork. You can say something like, "I’ve noticed some overlap in customer assignments, and I want to ensure a structured approach so that everyone gets a fair chance to contribute."

At the same time, build relationships with other colleagues. Even if they are currently sidelining you, consistency in communication and showing your expertise will gradually shift their perception. Join informal discussions, offer insights, and find ways to make yourself valuable within the team. Sales is as much about internal networking as it is about customer engagement.

For your customers, establish stronger direct relationships. The more your clients trust you, the harder it will be for someone else to take them. Be proactive in follow-ups, personalize your approach, and make them feel you are the go-to person for their needs. If you can, set up meetings or calls with them before your colleague gets the chance.

If your workplace has a CRM system, ensure that your interactions with customers are properly logged. This creates a record of your engagement and makes it harder for someone else to claim them unfairly. If processes for lead allocation are unclear, suggest to management that a transparent system be put in place to avoid conflicts.

This will take time, but by being assertive, strategic, and focused on performance, you can shift the dynamics in your favor. If you remain consistent and prove your worth, your position in the team will strengthen, and your colleagues will have no choice but to acknowledge your contribution.

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