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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Kumar Question by Kumar on Oct 25, 2025Hindi
Relationship

How to improve myself Not interested on anything Want to be alone Feeling stressed tired confused Want to do lots of things but not putting any efforts not even starting anything to get better Always thinking some miracles to be happened Eating food heavy improper time Sleeping fully without guilty Not able to understand what actually I want, what I want to be, what I have to do,.how I need to be live happily, when I will be live happily, when I will change my self and where I'm going in my finnally

Ans: Dear Kumar,
You are obviously stunted in life with no movement and this happens when you are in fear of something going wrong in life. You end up not taking that first step in fear of failure, rejection, embarrassment...you are stuck...
The day you realize that the only way to be un-stuck is to actually take the first step and do something, anything without focusing on the result...
Your only motivation in life is YOU; if you want you can keep being stuck and then you know how life has been OR do something and break this loop that you are in!
Ask a friend to be by your side who can step in when you give up or feel tired from all that trying; it's YOU...go for it, take that first step...start with doing something that is even remotely little exciting for you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself. 6. Is there any way I can talk/chat 1 to 1 to U, so I can get more detailed & affective treatment/advice..
Ans: The key here isn't to focus on "doing everything" or even "doing it perfectly." It's about starting small, with manageable steps, and building trust with yourself that you can complete things. When we overthink, our mind creates these massive, overwhelming expectations that paralyze us. By breaking things down into smaller, more achievable actions, you give yourself the opportunity to build momentum, which in turn builds confidence.

Your mind may be craving structure and direction, which is why following orders from others feels easier. But when it comes to leading yourself, that fear creeps in because you’re stepping into uncertainty. It’s important to recognize that this fear is not a sign that you should quit — it’s actually a sign that you're stepping out of your comfort zone, which is where growth happens.

It's also okay to feel vulnerable or unsure about what you truly want from life, especially in your first year of college when everything is still unfolding. You're at a stage where exploring different interests and making mistakes is part of the process. It’s important to be kind to yourself in this phase, recognizing that it's okay to not have it all figured out yet.

I can sense the pain behind your words, especially with the thoughts you’re having about self-worth and even more distressing feelings. I want you to know that these thoughts, while deeply personal, are shared by many who feel overwhelmed or lost. You’re not alone in this, and there is always a way to break free from this cycle, but it requires a blend of compassion for yourself and small, committed action.

I’m here to support you as you navigate this. While I can’t do 1-on-1 real-time conversations, I'm always ready to guide you through these thoughts and help you find practical ways to move forward. You deserve to feel peace and purpose, and that starts with allowing yourself the grace to begin imperfectly.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Relationship
I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...
Ans: Dear mods,
Merely trying to improve isn't going to help you improve because the reasons for which you actually want to improve are not clear to you. You are simply comparing yourself to others and 'trying' to be like them or do what they do.
What makes you not focus on what you want to do? For this,
- identify what you are good at
- stop this self-pity party that keeps you tucked into your comfort zone
- challenge yourself with small things first
- ask a friend to be a 'buddy' who can act like your mirror and also motivate you
- celebrate small wins and also analyze your losses too

Unless you start somewhere, you are not going to change and along with changing self-talk, also ask yourself the most important question:
What change do I want in myself and what are the things that will make that happen?
Follow through with a plan BUT this is possible once you shake yourself out your self-pity and choose to move ahead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...
Ans: The inconsistency you feel isn’t a reflection of weakness. It’s a result of being caught between two parts of yourself—one who wants to evolve, and one who is afraid to lose the comfort of old beliefs, even if they no longer serve you. That internal conflict is heavy, especially without a guiding voice to help you sort through it. You’re not alone in that—many young adults feel exactly this way, especially those with big dreams and high sensitivity to their environment.

Rather than trying to “fix” your personality or “force” your discipline, start by restoring trust in yourself. Trust doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from showing up consistently for yourself in small, simple ways without pressure to perform. Your fear of failure and even your fear of success are both rooted in the same place: the doubt that you are enough as you are.

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not have all the answers. The goal isn’t to become a different person—it’s to become more at peace with the person you are becoming. Self-leadership starts here: by choosing compassion over criticism, patience over pressure, and honesty over performance. Even if your steps are small and scattered, they are steps forward.

You don’t need external urgency to change. You need internal safety to try. So let’s shift the story you’re telling yourself. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You are learning, growing, and unlearning decades of conditioning—and that’s not only brave, it’s transformative.

Keep going. Gently, but steadily. And every time you fall back into old patterns, remind yourself: coming back is progress too. The journey to emotional strength is not about never falling—it’s about returning to yourself, again and again, with love.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11161 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2026

Money
I am 61 self Disciplined minimalist. I am now in SWP segment. 4% SWP and step up SWP are all okay and understandable but much worried on flip side which am often not thinking much. Considering next 30 years block 1. Inflation may also shoot up from 6% to 15% 2. Normally market crash once in 10 years assuming 30% crash 3. Recovery phase may take slow say 5 to 7 years 4. War natural calamities etc influence market once in 7 year 5.expected return may hit bottom from 10% With all this sequential risk, the worry is will my corpus empty earlier should I be with half starving and my SWP is good only in paper or any corrections needs to be done? Because when age grows, expenses can't be reduced, only rebalance the ratio from travel to utility like that So please guide me will my SWP corpus empty earlier, and should I do now as preparedness
Ans: Your concern is very valid and very mature. Most people focus only on returns, but you are thinking about risks like inflation, crashes, and long recovery. This is exactly what protects a retirement plan.

» The Real Risk – Sequence of Returns
Your worry is not wrong.

If market falls early in retirement and you keep withdrawing
Then recovery is slow
Corpus can reduce faster than expected

This is called sequence risk
And yes, this can impact SWP sustainability

But this can be managed with structure, not by stopping SWP

» Inflation Risk – Bigger Than Market Risk

If inflation moves from 6% to even 10–12%, pressure increases
Expenses rise continuously, but corpus may not match

Reality:

Inflation risk is permanent
Market crash is temporary

So your plan must protect against inflation first

» Is 4% SWP Safe?

4% is generally considered reasonable
But not “guaranteed safe” in all conditions

In your scenario (high inflation + poor returns):

4% may become slightly aggressive

Better approach:

Keep flexibility between 3.5% to 4%
Reduce withdrawal slightly during bad market years

» Biggest Protection – Bucket Strategy
This is the most important correction

Divide your corpus into 3 buckets:

Bucket 1 (0–5 years expenses)
Keep in safe instruments (liquid / low risk)
This funds your SWP
Bucket 2 (5–10 years)
Hybrid or balanced funds
Bucket 3 (10+ years)
Equity funds for growth

How this helps:

During crash, you do not touch equity
You spend from Bucket 1
Equity gets time to recover

This directly reduces sequence risk

» Dynamic SWP – Very Important Adjustment
Instead of fixed thinking:

In good years → continue or increase SWP
In bad years → pause increase or reduce slightly

Even a small 5–10% temporary cut:

Greatly increases corpus life

This is practical, not theoretical

» Rebalancing Discipline

Once a year, review allocation
When equity grows → shift some to safe bucket
This “locks gains”

This creates a natural buffer for future crashes

» Extreme Scenario Planning (Your Concern)
You mentioned:

30% crash
5–7 year recovery
High inflation

In such case:

Bucket 1 should cover at least 5–7 years expenses
This is your survival shield

If this is in place:

You will not be forced to sell at loss
Corpus will not empty early

» Expense Behaviour – Practical Reality
You are right:

Expenses don’t reduce easily with age
They only shift (travel → medical, lifestyle → essentials)

So plan should:

Keep medical buffer separately
Not depend on cutting expenses

» Mental Model Shift
Do not think:
“Will my corpus finish?”

Think:
“How do I protect withdrawals during bad phases?”

Because:

Markets recover
But wrong withdrawals during crash cause damage

» Final Adjustments You Should Do Now

Maintain 5–7 years expenses in safe bucket
Keep equity allocation for long-term growth
Use flexible SWP (not rigid)
Rebalance yearly
Be ready to reduce withdrawal slightly in extreme conditions

» Finally

Your fear is not overthinking, it is intelligent thinking
SWP does not fail because of market alone
It fails due to poor withdrawal strategy during bad years

If you structure your buckets and keep flexibility, your corpus can comfortably last 30 years and more without “half starving” situations.

You are already ahead because you are asking the right question at the right time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11305 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 04, 2026

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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