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Interfaith Relationship Advice: Accepting My Brahmin Girlfriend's Parents

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 22, 2025Hindi
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How can I convince my girlfriend’s parents to accept our relationship despite their concerns about my title? I’m a Maithil Brahmin (Choudhary) from Bihar, and she’s a Brahmin (Pathak) from UP. They believe Choudhary isn’t Brahmin in their region. Due to this specific reason they are not even ready for a single meeting also they are directly saying no to our relationship.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ask an elder member of your family to meet with an elder member of your girlfriend's family and then maybe they can actually help in breaking ground with both sets of parents...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 02, 2024Hindi
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I am an SC and my gf is brahmin, we are in love for more than 2 years and decided to marry, i convinced my parents. But her parents are cruel in this aspect only, they threaten her of her life and threatens me to complain in police, And anyone can tell that this is wrong but as parents are willing to do anything for their children, same is true with their children, I am afraid if we include authorities things might turn bad especially with our parents. They threaten her can make her say no to me if we take it legally even though she doesn’t want to. I am financial independent but she has spent her entire life (age 29) in her house, what can we do?
Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am an SC and my gf is brahmin, we are in love for more than 2 years and decided to marry, i convinced my parents. But her parents are cruel in this aspect only, they threaten her of her life and threatens me to complain in police, And anyone can tell that this is wrong but as parents are willing to do anything for their children, same is true with their children, I am afraid if we include authorities things might turn bad especially with our parents. They threaten her of her life and killing themselves, can make her say no to me if we take it legally even though she doesn’t want to. I am financial independent (age 29) but she has spent her entire life (age 29) in her house, what can we do?
Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1152 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2025

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Sir, Age: 26 Subject: NPS ( National Pension Scheme) Scheme Choice : LC 75 ( Aggressive Auto Choice) Tier : Tier 1 Pension Fund: ICICI Prudential Pension Fund Current value of scheme : Rs. 57927/- Investing Rs. 5600/- on a monthly basis My goals: Want my portfolio to beat inflation and provide a pension of Rs. 1 lakh monthly ( in hopes that beating inflation value of Rs. 1 lakh does not decrease over time) Time horizon : 34 years Questions: 1. Sir will my NPS scheme beat inflation? 2. Is the Pension Fund ( ICICI Prudential) a good choice or should I shift? 3. Will one lakh pension after 34 years be enough to support my lifestyle? (Assuming that everything pans out smoothly) 4. Judging by today's tax law income up to 12 lakh p.a. is non taxable, will I be taxed on my pension still if the law remains as is? (Hypothetical question) My details : 1.Unmarried, never planning on marriage or kids ever. 2.Current utility bills amount to Rs. 15,000 per month 3. Other expenses Rs. 5-7k per month. 4. I have other investments too, but I want to know if I can rely on NPS in old age or not. With this information alone, is retirement with NPS feasible?
Ans: Hello;

Your current expenses add upto 22 K per month.

After 34 years this amount will be 1.6 L per month considering 6% inflation.

This would need a corpus of 5-6 Cr.

Your current investment would fetch you around 1.2 Cr which is quite low.

You need to invest minimum 25 K per month in NPS to expect 5 Cr+ corpus build after 34 years. (A modest 8% return considered from NPS)

Also you may shift from Auto choice to Active choice so as to ensure 75% allocation to equity upto 50 age.(In Auto choice after 35 age equity allocation is tapered down).

You are allowed to have different fund managers for different asset classes based on their performance in respective category.

Current fund manager looks okay however you need to review performance every year.

For generating retirement corpus it is better to have 2-3 investment avenues rather then a single one.

A mix of EPF/PPF, NPS and MFs should be more appropriate.

Best wishes;

...Read more

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