Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Interfaith Relationship Advice: Accepting My Brahmin Girlfriend's Parents

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1535 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 22, 2025Hindi
Listen

How can I convince my girlfriend’s parents to accept our relationship despite their concerns about my title? I’m a Maithil Brahmin (Choudhary) from Bihar, and she’s a Brahmin (Pathak) from UP. They believe Choudhary isn’t Brahmin in their region. Due to this specific reason they are not even ready for a single meeting also they are directly saying no to our relationship.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ask an elder member of your family to meet with an elder member of your girlfriend's family and then maybe they can actually help in breaking ground with both sets of parents...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1535 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Ma’am. I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage. I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him. My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage. I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once. What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am. AS
Ans:

Dear AS,

You need to focus on how you can marry the person you love and also have your parents support you.

Is this possible?

There is a chance only if you take them into complete confidence and appeal to their logic.

Many societies are still against inter-caste marriages and I am sure they have their reasons for it, just like your parents have strong reasons to oppose the marriage.

Have you tried to find out why they oppose it? Are they worried about how they will face your family members as this is a big thing across cultures in the world?

As their daughter, you have connections with them as well as the right to live your life your way. Bring in an elder member of the family and ask him/her to appeal on your behalf. If this doesn’t work, you might be forced to decide one way or the other.

Whatever you do, do it with conviction and maintain relationships along the way. It may be an uphill task but breathe, smile and live life.

All the best, Happy 2022!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am an SC and my gf is brahmin, we are in love for more than 2 years and decided to marry, i convinced my parents. But her parents are cruel in this aspect only, they threaten her of her life and threatens me to complain in police, And anyone can tell that this is wrong but as parents are willing to do anything for their children, same is true with their children, I am afraid if we include authorities things might turn bad especially with our parents. They threaten her can make her say no to me if we take it legally even though she doesn’t want to. I am financial independent but she has spent her entire life (age 29) in her house, what can we do?
Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am an SC and my gf is brahmin, we are in love for more than 2 years and decided to marry, i convinced my parents. But her parents are cruel in this aspect only, they threaten her of her life and threatens me to complain in police, And anyone can tell that this is wrong but as parents are willing to do anything for their children, same is true with their children, I am afraid if we include authorities things might turn bad especially with our parents. They threaten her of her life and killing themselves, can make her say no to me if we take it legally even though she doesn’t want to. I am financial independent (age 29) but she has spent her entire life (age 29) in her house, what can we do?
Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8033 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

Listen
Money
I have following SIPs in my portfolio. I want to invest 30000 per month but can't understand how much money should I allocate in each SIP? SBI Technology Opportunities Fund Direct-Growth, Nippon India Consumption Fund Direct-Growth, SBI Long Term Equity Fund Direct Plan-Growth, Quant ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct-Growth, ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF Direct - Growth, Quant Infrastructure Fund Direct-Growth, UTI Gold ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Silver ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Direct Plan-Growth
Ans: You want to invest Rs 30,000 per month across multiple SIPs. Allocating funds efficiently is important for long-term wealth creation. Let’s evaluate your portfolio and decide the best allocation strategy.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your portfolio consists of the following categories:

Sectoral and thematic funds – Technology, consumption, infrastructure, Bharat 22
Tax-saving funds – ELSS funds
Gold and silver funds – Precious metal investments
Index funds – Passive investment approach
Each category has different risk, return potential, and diversification benefits. Let’s assess each one.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds
High-risk, high-reward investments – These funds invest in specific industries. Their performance depends on the growth of that sector.

Not suitable for large allocation – These funds are volatile and should be a small portion of your portfolio.

Recommended allocation: 15-20% of total SIP amount – Spread this amount across different sectors for better diversification.

Tax-Saving Funds (ELSS)
Helps in tax savings – Investments in these funds provide deductions under Section 80C.

Mandatory lock-in of three years – Ensure that you can stay invested for this duration.

Recommended allocation: 20-25% of total SIP amount – This depends on your tax planning needs.

Gold and Silver Funds
Acts as a hedge against inflation – Precious metals protect against economic downturns.

Volatility and long-term returns – Prices fluctuate, and returns may not always match equity funds.

Recommended allocation: 5-10% of total SIP amount – This prevents overexposure to metals.

Index Funds
Limited flexibility – These funds mirror an index and do not react to market changes.

Underperforms during volatile periods – Actively managed funds adapt better to market shifts.

Misses on alpha generation – Professional fund managers provide better stock selection.

Recommended allocation: Avoid completely – Actively managed funds are a better choice.

Optimal SIP Allocation Strategy
Based on the above evaluation, your Rs 30,000 monthly SIP can be divided as follows:

Actively managed diversified equity funds: Rs 12,000 (40%) – These funds provide long-term stability and higher growth potential.
ELSS tax-saving funds: Rs 6,000 (20%) – Helps in tax savings while investing in equity.
Sectoral and thematic funds: Rs 4,500 (15%) – Invest selectively in growing sectors.
Gold and silver funds: Rs 3,000 (10%) – Provides hedging benefits.
Infrastructure and Bharat 22 funds: Rs 4,500 (15%) – Exposure to government-driven sectors.
You can adjust these allocations based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Key Considerations Before Investing
Avoid overconcentration in any single theme – Too much investment in one sector increases risk.

Prioritise actively managed funds – These funds adapt to market conditions better than index funds.

Monitor performance regularly – Review your investments every six months.

Ensure diversification across sectors – A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk.

Finally
Your investment should align with your financial goals and risk appetite. A well-balanced SIP allocation improves returns and reduces volatility.

If needed, consult a Certified Financial Planner to refine your strategy further.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8033 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

Listen
Money
Sir for my son's education is it better to take loan or use my fd , i fall in 30 %IT slab. Pls adv
Ans: You are in the 30% tax slab. The choice between taking a loan or using your fixed deposit depends on multiple factors. Let’s evaluate both options from a financial and strategic perspective.

Benefits of Taking an Education Loan
Tax Benefits on Interest Paid

The interest paid on an education loan qualifies for a tax deduction under Section 80E. This benefit is available for up to eight years.

Since you fall in the 30% tax slab, this deduction can help reduce your taxable income.

Liquidity Retention

Keeping your fixed deposit intact ensures liquidity for emergencies and other financial goals.

Unexpected medical expenses or job loss can impact cash flow. A loan helps you maintain financial security.

Low-Interest Rates Compared to Other Loans

Education loans usually have lower interest rates than personal loans. Some banks also provide a moratorium period, during which repayment starts after course completion.

Credit Score Improvement

Timely repayment of the loan will improve your credit score. This can help in the future if you need to take another loan.

Disadvantages of Taking an Education Loan
Interest Outflow

Even though the tax benefit reduces the burden, you will still pay more than the actual loan amount due to interest.

If you can afford the expenses without affecting other goals, avoiding interest payments is better.

Loan Repayment Burden

If your son does not secure a high-paying job immediately, the repayment can become stressful.

You may have to step in to make EMI payments, affecting your retirement plans.

Benefits of Using Fixed Deposits
No Interest Outflow

By using your own funds, you avoid paying interest to the bank. The actual cost of education remains lower.

Peace of Mind

Without a loan, you won’t have to worry about monthly EMI payments. This ensures financial stability and mental peace.

Better Financial Freedom for Your Son

If you fund the education yourself, your son starts his career debt-free. This gives him more flexibility in career choices.

Disadvantages of Using Fixed Deposits
Loss of Liquidity

Using the fixed deposit will reduce your emergency funds. If another major expense arises, you may struggle to arrange funds quickly.

Impact on Other Financial Goals

If this fixed deposit was set aside for another financial goal, using it for education may delay that goal.

You need to evaluate whether this will affect your retirement or home purchase plans.

Tax on Fixed Deposit Interest

The interest earned on fixed deposits is fully taxable as per your slab. Since you are in the 30% slab, this reduces your net return.

Key Factors to Consider Before Deciding
Cash Flow Stability

If your monthly income and investments provide enough financial security, paying from the fixed deposit is a good option.

If not, an education loan can help manage cash flow better.

Alternative Investment Options

If your fixed deposit is earning lower returns than the loan interest rate, it makes sense to use it instead of taking a loan.

If your investments are growing at a higher rate than the loan interest, taking a loan is financially better.

Risk Tolerance

If you are comfortable managing debt and can benefit from the tax deduction, a loan can be a strategic decision.

If you prefer a risk-free approach, using your fixed deposit is the better choice.

Optimal Approach for You
Since you are in the 30% tax slab, an education loan can provide tax benefits.

However, if your fixed deposit is earning a lower return than the loan interest, using it can be financially smarter.

If liquidity is not a concern and your retirement plans remain unaffected, funding education yourself is a good choice.

A balanced approach is also possible. You can take a partial loan and use some of your fixed deposit. This way, you reduce the loan burden while keeping some liquidity.

Finally
Taking an education loan has tax benefits and keeps liquidity intact. However, it comes with interest costs and repayment obligations.

Using your fixed deposit saves interest but reduces liquidity and may impact other financial goals.

The decision depends on your financial stability, investment returns, and long-term goals.

A Certified Financial Planner can help structure your finances in the most tax-efficient way.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x