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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hii ma'am. My parents were all okay when I showed the matrimony proposal of a interstate guy. I asked them about their opinion and they were okay with it. So I started to get to know the guy and we both liked each other. But now my parents changed their mind and they don't want a interstate marriage. Am feeling betrayed, hurt and sad. Don't know how to handle everything. Feeling like my emotions are not valid.

Ans: I can imagine how hurtful and confusing this must be for you. Feeling like your emotions are invalidated, especially by those you trust the most, can be incredibly painful. It's important first to recognize that your feelings are entirely valid. Being disappointed and betrayed in a situation like this is natural.

Start by giving yourself the space to feel and process these emotions. It's okay to feel sad, hurt, or even angry. These are normal reactions to such a significant shift in your parents' stance.

Once you've taken some time to process your feelings, try to understand where your parents are coming from. Sometimes, they might have concerns or fears that they didn't initially express. Approach them with an open mind and ask them to share their reasons for changing their opinion. This isn't just about seeking their approval but understanding their perspective, which might help bridge the emotional gap.

It's also essential to communicate how you feel. Let them know how their change of heart has impacted you. Be honest about your feelings, without placing blame. Explain how their initial support encouraged you to build a connection with the guy and how their sudden change has affected you emotionally.

Remember to stay true to your feelings and values. You have a right to seek a future that aligns with your happiness and desires. If your relationship with this person feels right to you, consider discussing with your parents how important this is for you. Sometimes, understanding each other's viewpoints can lead to a compromise or a more supportive stance.

In the end, it's about finding a balance between honoring your feelings and trying to understand and address your parents' concerns. Take one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to seek support from trusted friends or professionals to help you navigate this emotionally complex situation.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

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Hi Ma’am. I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage. I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him. My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage. I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once. What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am. AS
Ans:

Dear AS,

You need to focus on how you can marry the person you love and also have your parents support you.

Is this possible?

There is a chance only if you take them into complete confidence and appeal to their logic.

Many societies are still against inter-caste marriages and I am sure they have their reasons for it, just like your parents have strong reasons to oppose the marriage.

Have you tried to find out why they oppose it? Are they worried about how they will face your family members as this is a big thing across cultures in the world?

As their daughter, you have connections with them as well as the right to live your life your way. Bring in an elder member of the family and ask him/her to appeal on your behalf. If this doesn’t work, you might be forced to decide one way or the other.

Whatever you do, do it with conviction and maintain relationships along the way. It may be an uphill task but breathe, smile and live life.

All the best, Happy 2022!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 06, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, actually I am having a trouble in my relationship. Me and my partner are from different castes but we love each other. Due to the fear of my parents I told him some days back that my parents will never agree for our marriage as he is one year younger than me, he is from different caste and we both are in the final stage of our professional course and have not gone for job yet. But we are unable to leave each other and keep on crying. Now I am thinking of talking about this to my parents once my exams are over in a couple of months because I'm already 24 and they will start looking for alliance for me. But my partner is like there's no problem on his side but he doesn't want me to hurt and ruin relationship with my parents due to this disclosure and says that its never going to happen with heavy emotions and teary eyes. I am also unable to control my emotions and tears. Please advise me on what to do please mam....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your partner is being kind and thinking for you and your relationship with your parents. It is a nice trait to have to be empathetic but it may cost him the relationship. And he has taken this stance only because you have talked him about how fearful you are of your parents.
I guess instead of giving up like this, why don't the two of you sit down as adults and discuss how to talk to your parents and make this happen. When you act against what society and family set as norms, you should have expected something to go against the fairy tale event, right?
Since you did not set this tone in mind, now it's about taking the bull by the horns and finding what's the best solution. Why give up?

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My name is Faraha. Don't want to share my last name. I am 25 year old and working in a MNC in Bangalore. I met a guy at office who is a Hindu and we fell in love. It has been 1 years since we are into relationship, we both have agreed to become life partner and both have agreed not change religion and continue living as we are now. My parents are looking for alliance for me and they want to marry me off to a cousin working in middle East. I am not at all interested as well grew up together as a brother and sister and I have no feeling towards him. My mother tried to convenience me saying things will be better after marriage, and I dnt have courage enough to tell them about my relationship at work. I don't want to marry against my will and at the same time I don't want to break my parents heart. How do I come out of this situation? Please advice ..I have no rights to take decision on my life partner like other woman has? Why am I being published? I just want to marry the guy I love ...
Ans: Dear Faraha,

I am so sorry that you are in a situation where you feel you have no right to choose your own partner. I understand your dilemma. The only advice I can give right now is you speak to your parents about your wish not to marry the man they found for you. You can be honest and tell them your concerns. If you are not ready to disclose your relationship right now, that is okay. But the important thing is to not get forced into marrying someone you are neither attracted to nor comfortable with; you are an adult and you have every right to choose your partner. Having said that, I know how incredibly difficult it can be to convince parents. Clear and open communication is the only way. Once you can convince them to not go forward with this current alliance, you can slowly bring up the matter of your relationship. Not right away, but once things have cooled down a bit. I hope everything works out for you.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?
Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

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Money
I am a salaried person My take home earning is 39.5K I have two daughter out of which elder one has completed teenage and second is teenager now. I am living on rent Please Suggest Some SIP funds name along with amount suggestion so that I can make my own home in next 10 years along with family liabilities. MY savings would be about 10 L - 11 L within six months.
Ans: You earn Rs. 39,500 per month. You have two daughters, one in her teens and the other has completed her teenage years. You live on rent and aim to buy a home in the next 10 years. Your savings will be about Rs. 10-11 lakhs within six months.

Investment Strategy
Monthly SIP Allocation
Given your goal of buying a home in 10 years, consider the following SIP allocations:

Large-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly. These funds provide stability and steady returns.

Multi-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly. These funds balance investments across different market capitalizations.

Hybrid Funds: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly. These funds mix equity and debt, balancing risk and return.

Mid-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 2,000 monthly. These funds offer higher growth potential with moderate risk.

Small-Cap Funds: Allocate Rs. 2,000 monthly. These funds can yield high returns but are riskier.

Lump Sum Investment
When your savings reach Rs. 10-11 lakhs, invest a portion in mutual funds and keep some as an emergency fund.

Emergency Fund: Keep Rs. 2-3 lakhs in a high-interest savings account or liquid fund.

Equity Mutual Funds: Invest Rs. 5 lakhs in a combination of large-cap, multi-cap, and mid-cap funds.

Debt Funds: Invest Rs. 2-3 lakhs in short-term debt funds for stability and moderate returns.

Diversification and Risk Management
Diversify Investments: Ensure your investments are spread across different asset classes to reduce risk.

Regular Monitoring: Review your investments periodically to ensure they are aligned with your goals.

Professional Advice
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can help tailor a plan to your specific needs and risk tolerance.

Final Insights
Start monthly SIPs in a diversified portfolio.

Allocate lump sum savings wisely.

Diversify investments to manage risk.

Regularly monitor your investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 41 single female ,no kids, no dependents with no ancestral/ property for self. Just started MF 13k a month (in axis small cap 5k, axis flexi cap 5k & axis bluchip 3k) , PPF has 5L , NPS(T1) has 3L balance.PPF 8.5k a month & 6K in NPS are monthly investments apart from SIP. I m living on rent 21k a month . no EPF balance . Monthly fixed expenses are 70k , car loan & card emi 40k .I make about 1.4L a month. Have health insurance for 1cr . How much more should I invest on monthly basis to have a good retirement? Also the dilema of buying a house flat is always, as there are no dependents/ don't see any in future..no marriage plans in future too. So is it okay to stay on rent ? I have no other savings from the one mentioned above. I have utilised 80 C & 80 D investments completely car insurance & health insurance is about 60k a year
Ans: Current Financial Position

You have a well-structured investment plan with mutual funds, PPF, and NPS. Your monthly investments are focused on SIPs and contributions to PPF and NPS.

Investment Goals

Retirement Planning: Building a comfortable retirement corpus.

Debt Management: Paying off your car loan and credit card EMIs.

Housing Decision: Deciding between renting and buying a house.

Assessment of Current Investments

Mutual Funds (Rs 13,000 per month): You are investing in small cap, flexi cap, and bluechip funds. This provides a mix of high growth potential and stability.

PPF (Rs 5 lakhs): Offers safety and tax benefits. Your monthly contribution is Rs 8,500, which is good for long-term growth.

NPS (Rs 3 lakhs): Provides an additional retirement corpus with tax benefits. Your monthly contribution is Rs 6,000.

Recommendations

1. Increase Monthly Investments

To achieve a good retirement corpus, increase your monthly investments. Aim to save and invest at least 30% of your income. This means increasing your monthly investments to around Rs 42,000.

2. Focus on Debt Management

Prioritize paying off your car loan and credit card EMIs. This will free up funds for additional investments and reduce financial stress.

3. Housing Decision

Renting is a viable option if you do not have dependents and no plans to marry. It provides flexibility and avoids the long-term commitment of a home loan. Investing the funds instead of buying a house can potentially yield better returns.

4. Diversify Your Portfolio

While your mutual funds are well-chosen, consider adding a few more diversified funds to spread risk. Avoid direct funds; instead, invest through a Certified Financial Planner for better management and advice.

5. Maximize Tax Benefits

You are utilizing Section 80C and 80D benefits. Continue to do so and explore other tax-saving investments that align with your goals.

Final Insights

Your financial planning is on the right track. Focus on increasing investments and paying off debt. Renting is a practical choice given your circumstances. A diversified and well-managed investment portfolio will ensure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello, I am 39 and I earn 1.5 lacs per month after Tax and Mandatory PF deduction. I have a total Loan EMI of around ?60,000 which will continue for the next 9 yrs. I have 38 lacs in provident Fund, 5 lacs in PPF, 5 lacs in Bank FD and 15 lacs in Equity MF(?40000/- SIP in 5 Different High Risk Portfolio). I am planning to retire at 50. Kindly guide me how to reach ?3 Crore Corpus Savings/Investment in the quickest possible way.?
Ans: Current Financial Overview
You earn Rs. 1.5 lakhs per month. You have a loan EMI of Rs. 60,000 for the next nine years. Your savings include Rs. 38 lakhs in provident fund, Rs. 5 lakhs in PPF, Rs. 5 lakhs in FD, and Rs. 15 lakhs in equity mutual funds. You invest Rs. 40,000 monthly in high-risk SIPs.

Goal Assessment
You aim to retire at 50 with a Rs. 3 crore corpus. Let's strategize to achieve this goal.

Investment Strategy
Increase SIP Contributions
To reach your goal, consider increasing your SIP contributions. Allocate more funds to a mix of mutual funds with varying risk profiles.

Large-Cap Funds: For stability and steady growth.

Multi-Cap Funds: For balanced exposure across market capitalizations.

Hybrid Funds: For a mix of equity and debt, balancing risk and return.

Increase your SIP contribution as your income grows or expenses reduce.

Optimize Current Investments
Provident Fund
Your provident fund is a strong base. Continue contributing to it for tax benefits and steady returns.

PPF and FD
PPF and FD offer safety but lower returns. Consider moving some FD funds to equity mutual funds for higher growth.

Debt Management
Loan Repayment
Prioritize repaying high-interest loans first. Consider refinancing to reduce interest rates. This will free up more funds for investment.

Diversification and Risk Management
Avoid Overconcentration
Ensure your investments are diversified. Avoid overconcentration in high-risk funds. Balance your portfolio with low and medium-risk investments.

Professional Advice
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can help tailor a plan to your specific needs and risk tolerance.

Final Insights
Increase SIP contributions in a diversified portfolio.

Balance high-risk funds with stable investments.

Optimize existing investments for better returns.

Focus on debt repayment to free up funds.

Consider professional financial advice for a tailored plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi I need advice from you. After 18.5 years of experience corporate sector, I lost my job recently. I am now in a confusion state that, should I again try for job ? or do business/ small job ? Currently my MF portfolio is 1 Cr ( Quant small 70 lakhs , HDFc mid cap 20 lakhs , Nippon small cap 8 lakhs, Canara roboco ELSS 2 lakhs) , having 10% profit as on date Also , I am planning to sell a land which is not growing as expected ( Approx 20 lakhs ) I have 2 houses , would like to sell one , ( Approx 50 lakhs ) Planning to Move all these funds into mutual funds With approx 1.7 cr, can I retire?
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
You have significant investments and assets. Your mutual fund portfolio is Rs. 1 crore with a 10% profit. You plan to sell land for Rs. 20 lakhs and a house for Rs. 50 lakhs, totaling an additional Rs. 70 lakhs. This would bring your total available funds to Rs. 1.7 crore.

Considering Retirement Feasibility
Living Expenses
To assess if you can retire, estimate your monthly living expenses. Include housing, food, healthcare, insurance, and leisure. For a comfortable retirement, consider inflation and increasing medical costs.

Withdrawal Rate
A safe withdrawal rate is around 4% per year. With Rs. 1.7 crore, you could withdraw Rs. 6.8 lakhs annually, or around Rs. 56,000 monthly. Ensure this aligns with your expected expenses.

Reinvestment Strategy
Diversified Mutual Funds
Consider reallocating your investments for diversification and risk management. Your current portfolio is heavily skewed towards small and mid-cap funds.

Large-Cap Funds: Include these for stability and steady returns.

Multi-Cap Funds: Offer exposure across market capitalizations, balancing risk and reward.

Hybrid Funds: Invest in both equity and debt for balanced growth and stability.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Consider an SWP for regular income. This will provide a steady cash flow while keeping your principal invested.

Alternative Options
Starting a Business
Starting a business can be rewarding but involves risks. Consider your interests, market demand, and initial investment. A small job could also provide income and maintain financial stability.

Seeking Employment
Returning to a corporate job can provide stability and benefits. It can also help you grow your retirement corpus further before fully retiring.

Final Insights
Evaluate your monthly expenses and future financial needs. Reallocate your portfolio for diversification. Consider an SWP for steady income. Explore small jobs or business opportunities, but weigh the risks. Returning to a corporate job can offer stability and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4830 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hii...I am 32 and having 1 daughter of 3 years. I am currently working in a PSB with having salary of appx. 1.20 lac. My protfolios- 1. Shares- 4 lac 2. MF- 8 lacs 3. PPF- 10 lacs 4. Sukanya- 4 lacs 5. FD- 4 lacs 6. Property- 100 lacs Please suggest me for best investment plans.
Ans: Current Financial Position

You have a good salary and a well-diversified portfolio. Your investments include shares, mutual funds, PPF, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana, FD, and property.

Investment Goals

Child’s Education and Marriage: Planning for your daughter's future.

Retirement: Building a corpus for a comfortable retirement.

Wealth Growth: Maximizing returns while managing risk.

Portfolio Assessment

Shares (Rs. 4 lakhs): Good for long-term growth but carry higher risk.

Mutual Funds (Rs. 8 lakhs): Provide diversified exposure. Consider actively managed funds for better returns.

PPF (Rs. 10 lakhs): Safe investment with tax benefits. Suitable for long-term goals.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (Rs. 4 lakhs): Excellent for your daughter’s future. Offers high interest and tax benefits.

Fixed Deposits (Rs. 4 lakhs): Safe but lower returns. Use for short-term needs and emergencies.

Property (Rs. 100 lakhs): Significant asset but consider its liquidity and maintenance costs.

Recommendations

1. Increase SIP Investments

Regularly invest in SIPs. Choose diversified equity and balanced funds. Aim to increase your SIP amount by 10% each year.

2. Child’s Education and Marriage Planning

Continue investing in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana. Consider child-focused mutual funds. These funds align with educational goals and future expenses.

3. Retirement Planning

PPF is a good start. Supplement it with mutual funds. Consider a mix of equity and balanced funds for growth and stability.

4. Portfolio Diversification

Maintain a diversified portfolio. This spreads risk and maximizes returns. Balance between equity, debt, and government schemes.

5. Active Fund Management

Avoid direct funds. Use regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner. They offer professional management and better guidance.

6. Minimize Real Estate Investment

Real estate is illiquid and requires maintenance. Focus on more liquid investments like mutual funds and PPF.

Final Insights

You have a strong financial base. Enhance it with disciplined SIP investments and diversified funds. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and active fund management.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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