Hello Ms Anu, I am 62 Divorced. My daughters 34 and 29 both have abandoned me cos my ex-wife. I have given them the best child hood, US education and properties ( all my savings of my entire tenure). It looks they are no more interested in me after I gave them. As a senior citizen when I filed at the tribunal to get back what I have gifted ( this is just a fraction of what I have given) , my daughters are filing a police complaint saying I am a dangerous man. Do you think daughters will realize their mistakes and will they come back to me? My ex is a criminal and she had multiple men in her life when we were not together. In spite of it I gave her everything. Anyway I don't expect anything from my ex-wife but I am concerned about my daughters. Apparently I also learn in spite of all those expensive education they are still unable to fins a respectable place in society as an independent human to sustain. It is a pity people call daughters as angels but for me they are the devils.

Madam, I am 61 years old , retired from Govt service an year ago. I have a problem in my family. Though my wife is a post graduate, she refused to take up any Job and wants all others including her in laws to give her money eternally. Misbehaved with my parents & sent them out of our house for their supposed conservative style and refused to allow my sisters family on a visit and quarreled with me on this ground time & again. She quarrels with me on silly issues loudly infront of kids. She reflects her mother`s attitude in dealing with my parents & relatives. Later She re-started her love affair with her ex lover . Fed up with quarrels at home and keep her away from unwarranted affairs, I decided to go abroad and took her also with me with our 2 daughters. There again, she started another illicit affair with my classmate cum colleague (whom i knew for 2 decades and i treated like a brother and was already married with kids). After 18 months of secret affair , behind me, they finally disclosed and wanted to elope leaving their families behind. Stunned by their ghastly betrayal , I sent my family back to India and also reported the matter to boss, who repatriated that Traitor back. I had to forgive my wife for sake of my Daughters who were aged 12 yrs and 9 yrs then. I am unable to come to terms with their ghastly actions though 2 decades have since passed. We sleep in separate rooms and I have no physical relation with her, ever since as our marriage is over for all purposes. I believe that mutual Trust & respect are the foundations of any marriage. Both are lost in our case. Now my daughters aged 31, 29 are Post graduates but are sitting idle at home wasting time in TV and refuse to do any job as their mother keeps telling them why should women work ?. They refuse to receive any external counselling nor willing to get married nor take up a job nor pursue any studies. They are financially dependent on me. I am now retired and live on Govt Pension. They refuse to understand the reality around them. They have no friend either in Relatives or in their college circles. What to do with their Intransigence? .

Hello Madam,I am 48 year old ,Widower.My wife died last year after a long fought battle with Cancer. I have 2 daughters ,elder one who is 18 year old and younger 13 year old. Financially I am well placed. My wife had a short lived affair 6 years back with one of our family friends but she stayed with me for her daughters and started loving me once her friend got shifted to another city. I never showed her that I knew anything.What should I do now? I love my daughters very much and cannot leave them alone.Should I remarry. My wife also used to say that I should marry after her death.

Hello Doctor, I am 62 Divorced. My daughters 34 and 29 both have abandoned me cos my ex-wife. I have given them the best child hood, US education and properties ( all my savings of my entire tenure). It looks they are no more interested in me after I gave them. As a senior citizen when I filed at the tribunal to get back what I have gifted ( this is just a fraction of what I have given) , my daughters are filing a police complaint saying I am a dangerous man. Do you think daughters will realize their mistakes and will they come back to me? My ex is a criminal and she had multiple men in her life when we were not together. In spite of it I gave her everything. Anyway I don't expect anything from my ex-wife but I am concerned about my daughters. Apparently I also learn in spite of all those expensive education they are still unable to fins a respectable place in society as an independent human to sustain. It is a pity people call daughters as angels but for me they are the devils.

Dear Anu, I regularly read your advise on various issues from the variety of people. One I came across about a 62 year divorced person with 2 daughters who have abandoned him even after providing good education & financial support. Is it not his daughters' duty to reciprocate with love & affection. A father does every thing in his capacity to provide everything to his family and wish for their well-being. In return he expects only love from the family. One can clap with two hands which both in tandem. Just expressed my feeling as a concerned father. Thank you

Hi Anu! Am a 55yr old Telugu NRI Male. Father of 3 daughters (27, 23 & 18). I luv all 3 of them more than my life. I have struggled extremely hard in my life to reach this position. And, have given my best to them always. They know about that. But, what they have done has broken me. All 3 of them r NRIs like me, and Engineers. Elder one is a Masters from USA. Younger one still studying. I had planned the marraige of my elder one when she was 23. I had already conveyed this to her in advance, for which she agreed. I clearly conveyed to her, that, having 3 daughters, I cannot afford any experiments. Only, if I plan to settle off all 3 of them in a proper and phased manner, I can finish off my duties for the youngest, by the time Im 60. Else, things will become challenging if any one of them delays for any reason, and being in a Gulf Country, I loose my job anytime, or, if I have to return due to health issues, we cud become challenged financially. Effecting the settling of my daughters. So, when I went to India around 4yrs back to initiate the plans for her match making, she stunned me by conveying that, she likes someone (a Telugu but from a different equal caste). Though stunned at her reversal, I went along, and decided to approach the Boy's father, who was a close friend. But, I was in for a bigger shock, where, the Boy's father (my friend) himself approached me, and conveyed in quiet an abrupt manner, that, he is against an intercaste marraige. I conveyed this to her (my daughter) and my wife, in front of my other 2 daughters. To my surprise, i found all my 3 daughters totally silent on this subject. Except my wife, who supported me on the insult I had to face from the Boy's father (my friend). None of my daughters felt pricked at the way he conveyed his message to me. Until this incident, my wife too was supporting my daughter, despite fully knowing that she had reversed from he initial agreement. But, this incident took her away from her support and towards the family respect. This was resented by my 3 daughters against my wife. So, after this, I started to build pressure on my daughter, conveying that, lets put this behind us, and lets proceed with seeing matches for u. She conveyed that, she needs time to heal. I asked her how much time? 1month, 2 months, 6months a year? She wasnt clear about that, which made me upset. And defeated, I left back to my job outside India. Suddenly, out of the blue, I was informed by my wife, that, she has done GRE, and got a very good score of 325/340. And, she plans to go to USA for her Masters on Scholarship. I was surprised, that, I had spent Rs.40K to join a Guidance Class to help her get a good score, which she cud not the 1st time. But, this 2nd time, how cud she get such a good score without any gudance? What was her motiivation? Whatever be the case, I felt proud of her achievement, and agreed to fund her (close to 60 Lakhs). I felt that, getting such a good score, she shud seek admission in a prestigious University, whatever be the cost on me. I had conveyed to her thro her Mom (as we werent on speaking terms), that, this money is for her's and her Sisters marraige expenses, whenever their marriage comes. I had kept aside 20 lakhs each for each of my daughters exclusively as marriage expenses. And, she has to return that amount once she starts earning. This is usually what all kids going to USA for their Masters do. They return back the money taken from their Parents, or pay back the Bank Loans. But, I payed off the Bank Loan (full 60 lakhs), so, that, the interest doesnt burden her, and asked her to pay me back when she can. Condition being, she has to pay back a min 20 lakhs in time for her marraige expenses. I was further stunned and shocked by 2 more reveals. One that, she took the step to do Masters, as the Boy too was in USA, and she followed him there with his concurrence. Which again, she hid from us. 2nd being, she also took this step to escape the marraige pressure from us in the aftermath of the Boy's father's insult to me. All these 3 yrs, she never bothered to even ask or enquire about the Financial Burden her expenses has caused to the Family. Let alone trying to convey how she plans to repay them back. Worse these 3 yrs, she doesnt attend our calls (specially her mother's, as I dont call at all), talks to her Mom in a haughty tone. Seeing her, my other 2 daughters too behave with their Mother, and at times with me to the same way. As if, it is our duty to ensure that, we provide everything to them, and when they ask. Now, it has also become clear thro my 2nd daughter that, my elder one is going to marry the same guy. Where, frankly, me and my wife dont care much about at this stage. But, this betrayal by her and the following her footsteps by her Sisters is eating me day and out. And I feel my life slipping away from my hands. I lost my only Sister, around 25yrs back. Then my Mother around 16yrs back, and my father around 4yrs back. Im alone with just my wife as my Companion. Im financially well off, but, seem to have lost my will to live. I want to live only till my 3rd daughter settles in life. And bid good bye. But, each time I think in such a way, my wife's picture comes in front of my eyes. Me and my wife luv each other a lot. I have not been a perfect husband to her. But, she has always loved me with her full heart, despite her initial mistake in supporting my elder daughter on her actions. The purpose of this query, is not for guidance, but just for sharing my pain, which, I cannot share with anyone. Not even my wife. Else, she will be devastated. She too is extremely pained with the attitude of my daughters.