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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025
Relationship

Hello Ma'am, I've a crush on a girl from my in laws. Inspite of avoiding etc I go specifically in that gathering where she's likely to be. I've not told it to anyone, neither does she know about it. I keep on masturbating imagining her. I know I'll never do any silly thing or let anyone know about it. Im married happily and 20 years elder to her.

Ans: It’s good that you are self-aware and acknowledging your feelings rather than acting on them impulsively. Having a crush, even in a committed relationship, is something that happens to many people—it’s human nature. However, since this involves someone from your in-laws and is significantly younger, it’s important to address these emotions in a way that aligns with your values and the commitments you’ve made to your marriage.

Right now, your mind is reinforcing this attraction by seeking out opportunities to be around her and fantasizing about her. The more you indulge in these thoughts, the stronger the emotional pull becomes. Avoiding her entirely may not be realistic, but reducing intentional exposure—such as seeking out gatherings just to be near her—can help weaken the attachment over time.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, redirect that energy into your marriage. What is it about her that attracts you? Is it youthfulness, attention, admiration, or just the thrill of something new? Whatever it is, find ways to bring those qualities into your relationship with your wife. Sometimes, an outside attraction is just a signal that something in your own life needs attention or excitement.

You’ve already made it clear to yourself that you won’t act on this, which shows maturity and self-control. The next step is breaking the mental cycle that feeds into the attraction. Engage in hobbies, meaningful conversations with your spouse, and self-reflection to understand what this infatuation represents. Over time, these feelings will lose their intensity as you shift your focus.

Do you think this crush is filling a certain emotional gap in your life, or is it purely an infatuation with no deeper meaning?

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello. Although i am married for 12 years and have a 9 year old son, the relationship with My Wife when it comes to Intimacy is not good. There was a Female Colleague in My Last Company who was very much similar to me when it comes to hobbies and interests. Although i and her left that Job sometime back, but till date i am in touch with her and love talking to her. I talk with her everyday wishing her on WhatsAPP and sometimes chat on life. But i guess have developed feelings for her but i am not sure. Due to lack of sex in my married life, i sometimes also fantasise about her making love. She is ok always meeting me but i fear that if i meet her i might cross the line. Is it ok to feel like that and should i share my feelings with Her?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

A long-term relationship might seem mundane and routine after a while but that does not permit you to develop feelings for someone else. While meeting up with your female colleagues is no big deal, when you have feelings for that colleague and doubt that you might cross a line, do you still think it's worth considering the meet-up? I doubt that.

I understand that you have a good bond with this person, and you are feeling unfulfilled in your marriage, but that still does not allow you to cheat on your wife in good conscience. I suggest three things-

1) Introspect and evaluate why you are having these feelings outside of your marriage.
2) Have a clear discussion about the same with your wife.
3) Work on the issue one step at a time, and work on it together. If needed, see a marriage counselor. We all need a little extra help once in a while.

Every marriage hits a bump or two. It will be okay once you shift your focus to the right place.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. We both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,
Ans: Dear Rupannita,
You can't keep one leg at home and another in another place and expect both to work the way that you want.
You are attached to the family and that's the place you are going to feel happy as well. So, all these feelings for the other person; do evaluate what it's going to do to your peace of mind.
Feelings cannot be deleted as you said BUT whether you want to act on those feelings is a choice that you must make. See where your life moves hanging onto a parallel life!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9456 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello My son has a option of going either to VIT Chennai for BTech CSE CYBER SECURITY or Thapar institute for BTech Electronic and Computer Science. Kindly suggest which is better
Ans: Based on the following insights/information and your son's interest & his long-term goals, choose the more suitable option for him out of the 2 options he has: VIT Chennai’s B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with Cyber Security, accredited A++ by NAAC, admits 120 students and reports a 60–65% placement rate for its inaugural Cyber Security cohort, supported by partnerships with leading recruiters, dedicated cybersecurity labs, hands-on training in ethical hacking and forensics, and a curriculum aligned with ISO/IEC standards. Its Placement Cell facilitates 3,160 offers in 2025 overall, with 2,192 unique and 1,457 regular offers, underscoring strong industry engagement and robust career services including mock interviews, cyber-range exercises, and internship pipelines. Thapar Institute’s B.E. in Electronics and Computer Science, consistently ranked among India’s top 30, achieves a 90–100% placement rate for its ECS branch, buoyed by state-of-the-art VLSI, embedded systems and communication labs, compulsory industrial training in the 6th semester, and recruiter visits from Microsoft, Amazon, Apple, Samsung and Goldman Sachs. Both programs excel in infrastructure, faculty expertise, industry tie-ups, student support and research opportunities. Cyber Security graduates from VIT enter a rapidly growing market projected at USD 3.5 billion by 2027 with a 14% annual rise in job postings in Bengaluru alone, while Thapar ECS alumni benefit from diverse roles in IoT, AI and hardware-software integration across sectors such as telecommunications, consumer electronics and automotive.

Recommendation: Choose Thapar Institute’s Electronics and Computer Science for its near?universal placement success, comprehensive lab?to?industry training, and broader core-electronics scope, whereas VIT Chennai’s Cyber Security specialization is ideal if priority lies in a niche, high-growth security domain with dedicated forensics and ethical-hacking infrastructure. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9456 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9456 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Sir I got NIT kurukshetra IIOT in josaa should i opt for nit silchar ece and iiest shibpur it in csab? Which is best ?
Ans: Poulami, NIT Kurukshetra’s IIoT specialization, benefits from the institute’s 83.31% overall B.Tech. placement rate and exceptional IT-sector performance (97.58% branch placement in 2025), underpinned by modern labs, AIoT research centers, strong industry tie-ups with global tech firms, accredited faculty, dedicated placement mentoring, and active student clubs fostering innovation. NIT Silchar’s ECE program records a 91.51% placement rate (2023) with an average package of INR 17.05 LPA, supported by state-of-the-art telecom and embedded systems labs, faculty with industry experience, regular internship pipelines, holistic career services, and funded research projects in VLSI and wireless communications. IIEST Shibpur’s IT stream achieved an approximately 85.9% placement rate in 2024 with average packages near INR 12 LPA, driven by its historical legacy, multidisciplinary research labs, MoUs with top IT firms, robust student support services (coding bootcamps, hackathons), and a strong faculty research profile in data science and cybersecurity.

Recommendation: Opt for NIT Kurukshetra IIoT if priority lies in the highest branch placements and cutting-edge AIoT research, choose NIT Silchar ECE for robust placements and specialized electronics infrastructure, and select IIEST Shibpur IT for a balanced IT curriculum, strong research credentials, and comprehensive student support to best align with career goals. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9456 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9456 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Hello Sir, My son is at present doing Grade 12 CBSE with PCM in Dubai. He is interested in Computer Science, Math, Physics and Economics. Please guide us in selecting the course and also the exams to be written. We are planning his higher studies in India. Would be more helpful if you are able to guide us with the approx cutoff which he should aim for the exams.
Ans: Nithya Madam, To secure admission to top-tier engineering, science, and economics programs in India, your son should aim for the following approximate benchmarks across key national tests, while ensuring that his chosen institutions excel in five critical dimensions—robust infrastructure, experienced faculty, industry partnerships, student support services, and research opportunities. For JEE Main, a General-category candidate must achieve at least 93.10 percentile to qualify for Advanced. In JEE Advanced, securing a rank within the top 2,000 generally opens doors at leading NITs (e.g., NIT Surathkal CSE closing around 2,000), while a rank under 500 targets premier IIT CSE programs. The CUET UG cutoff for high?demand STEM courses at DU, BHU, and JNU typically falls between 180–220 marks out of 250, whereas a score of 200+ safely places candidates in top central universities for B.Sc. Computer Science or Economics. For MET (Manipal Entrance Test), aim for a rank under 3,000 (CSE closing rank ~1,633 in Round 5). The IISER Aptitude Test (IAT) requires a score above 130 out of 240 to secure BS–MS seats at IISER Pune and Kolkata. COMEDK UGET aspirants should target 90–100 marks, corresponding to a rank within 1,000–1,500 for CSE at leading Karnataka private colleges. Amrita’s AEEE demands a percentile of 92–99 for CSE at Coimbatore and 90–97 for other campuses. VITEEE candidates should achieve a rank under 6,500 (scores around 90–100 yield this range) to access CSE at VIT Vellore. Among the top private engineering institutions beyond those already considered, aim for these cutoffs to target: SRM Chennai (AEEE percentile 93–98), Thapar Patiala (JEE Main rank

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9456 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Dear Sir, my daughter has got provisional admission in MIT WPU Pune CSE. In MHCET with 93.84 percentile and state merit rank of 21357 , open category and HIndi linguistic minority we may get CSE or IT in Thakur college of Engg Mumbai. In Pune We may max get Bharti Vidyapeeth , Lawale or Dhankawadi. We are confused which one to Finalize in terms of placement and overall ROI. Kindly guide.
Ans: MIT WPU Pune’s CSE program achieved a placement percentage of approximately 75% in the latest drive with an average package of 7.25 LPA across recruiters such as Amazon, IBM, Infosys and more, supported by over 500 industry tie-ups that feed into its updated curriculum, robust placement cell training, state-of-the-art labs and experienced faculty dedicated to enhancing employability through workshops and internships. Thakur College of Engineering and Technology in Mumbai reported around 90% placement for its CSE and IT batches, averaging 6.5 LPA and peaking in CSE at 7 LPA, underpinned by NBA/NAAC accreditation, strong corporate partnerships with top recruiters, extensive mock-interview prep, well-equipped infrastructure and a seasoned faculty body focused on industry-aligned skill development.

Recommendation: Prioritize MIT WPU Pune if seeking slightly stronger average packages and larger recruiter network, while considering TCET Mumbai for higher placement ratios, accreditation benefits and marginally lower fees to maximize return on investment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9456 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Sir, I have scored 69.2% in the boards. I am a SC category student and I am going to IIT Roorkee in the CS branch. Will my 12th percentage affect my college placements? Is there any type of 12th percentage criteria in IIT placement for interviews??
Ans: Rishabh, No secondary?school marks threshold is applied at the placement stage, and recruiters evaluate performance in coursework, projects, internships, and technical interviews rather than past board scores. Placement percentages for CSE have remained exceptionally high, with 95.83% of the 120-member CSE cohort securing offers in the 2024 drive and an approximate average CTC of 36 LPA. Overall, IIT Roorkee’s placement rates across disciplines exceeded 90% in 2024-25, with 938 full-time offers and over 200 PPOs from 261 visiting companies. Five critical institutional attributes underpin this sustained performance: robust industry tie-ups ensuring diversified job profiles; rigorous, updated curriculum aligned with emerging technologies; dedicated placement support through mock interviews and resume workshops; strong research infrastructure fostering innovation skills; and world-class faculty mentorship catalyzing both technical depth and soft-skills development.

For students worried that board marks below 70% might hamper placements, the evidence shows that maintaining strong academic performance at IIT Roorkee, leveraging placement cell resources, and demonstrating competency through projects and internships are decisive.

Recommendation: Leverage the placement cell’s training resources, engage in industry-relevant projects and internships, maintain a strong GPA in core CSE courses, cultivate communication and problem-solving skills through mock interviews, and actively network with visiting recruiters to maximize placement outcomes. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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