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Girl in balcony catches my eye - How do I approach her despite family concerns?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Pursottam Question by Pursottam on Mar 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

hello mam, i live in a residential area and i have a girl in a balcony front of my house. at first i liked her but she never looked at me. but after i gave her signs and wave she is now interacting. she always opens her curtains while studying so i can see her and even waves to me with her torch at late night. I want to express my true feeling but i am afraid of her family. i reaklly love her and we both are of same caste. things are in our favour. i want her badly. please mam help me please.

Ans: Dear Pursottam,
Looks a bit filmy, right? To assume that moving of curtains is leading to love is only fooling yourself. And based on this assumption, you want to express your feelings...How are you so sure that the girl feels the same?
By the way, how old are you? You have left that part off while writing your query.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

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Hello Ma’am/Sir. I, Shivam Sharma. I want a suggestion for the problem I am facing right now. Before that I am going to share my story with you. It is about 2018 when I joined a gym near-by my house. I got a crush on a girl. She came with her sister and brother. I used to watch her in gym. Later I found that I love her. I have had her in my dreams. After some time I think she knows that I watched her in gym and got a crush on her. Then she, her sister started watching me every day and sometimes they smile sometimes they used to make a strange face like angry or something but I didn't understand at all (mixed reactions). All this went for a long time till 2020 before COVID-19. I know her Instagram and Facebook handle but I didn’t her send her a request becoz of reputation. Even I can't able to talk to her in gym becoz of reputation. After that I didn't get the time to join the gym till now. Now the situation is I joined the gym but still I got mixed reaction sometimes smile or strange or no reaction. I don't able to understand what is going on in her head. I really want something to happen but in a positive way. I really like this girl I want to spend my whole life with her. I want to marry. I want this to happen in 3 months becoz after that I will move to some other state for my further studies. I don't have enough time. Ma’am, please help me how can I approach her. How can I make her feel positive or to like me and relationship all. I can't able to understand what I am going to do.  Shivam
Ans:

Whoa, slow down Romeo!

Just seeing a girl in the gym is different from spending the rest of your life with her.

Please be a little practical...you know NOTHING about her. So I’d suggest that you make a move to get to know her first, because you haven’t for three years!

And stop building her up so much in your head, it’s not healthy.

You’re obsessed with someone you don’t know. Go up to her and her sister in the gym, introduce yourself and maybe ask them both out for coffee after your workout session and get acquainted first.

You can think of marriage when you’re dating a person, not when you don’t even know her name! 

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
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I wanted to get clarity on my situation. I am 24yr old and i am working person. I am loving a girl in my office since two years and she also accepted. We are from intercaste and her parents accepted. But my parents are not in a way to get convinced no matter what. They want the caste to be same also and they are completely saying that what society will tell if you are doing like this and we cant live if you do like this. But i loved the girl the most and took care of her and being with her each and every second. I dono what to do. The only idea i m having is to go away from home , do my job and be with her. Now my parents are not allowing me to go to job also instead they asked me to take wfh. Please give me some suggestions on this. Please mam. Whenever i think of her that i left her and came i m getting so much chest pain which i cant bear. please help me with this. Constraints they are saying is its intercaste and age difference as she is 3yrs elder to me. But we feel that we are more compatible and more understanding. Girls side family agreed for this as they want their daughters happiness, but from myside they are doing emotional blackmail that they cant live if i do this and all. I am in hopeless situation, please help me with some suggestions.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At the risk of sounding judgemental, I am going to say this...you can wait a few more years to actually get married. It will offer you financial stability which can act in your favor when you actually take the news to your parents. With financial stability, comes a certain level of confidence that you can use to stand your ground and make a decision. After all, you are an adult.
Caste beliefs are very strongly etched into minds in our society and take an entire generation change to accept a person from another caste/faith/religion...
So, you can either succumb to what your parents want OR wait patiently to tell them what your decision is. But whatever it is, make sure you don't make the girl wait and them 'dump' her after a few years...that is not OKAY! Stay firm and proceed. And as for the emotional blackmail from your parents on how they will live if you do this etc, it's a very unhealthy way of holding on to what they believe and want to to be pressured by all that drama. To counter this drama, you are falling back on your financial position and the confidence that comes with it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4699 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 21, 2025

Career
Sir, I have got 87% marks in mains. Please tell me a college where I can get a branch.
Ans: Aditi, Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main/Advanced Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Also, please have some other back-up options instead of relying only on JEE/JoSAA/NITs/IIITs/GFTIs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions and a bright future!

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