Hello Anu, Hope you are doing well.
PLEASE HELP ME. I have never had a girlfriend.
I am a 31 yr old guy with so many things that changed me so badly and I am just aggressive than before.
Today I am writing you this as I am in a complete anxiety situation that I don't know where to start from.
I don't know how safe it is to share here but I wish to still share with you.
So this scamdemic ruined it all.
A girl entered my life and now acts like female Devdas.
Sometimes she says I'm just a friend. Sometimes she craves to meet me.
First let me tell you my personal life issue.
I got married in 2016 but it didn't last more than year.
I got married in January and in April 2017 my life changed.
It was an arranged marriage. The girl was new and I was happy. In April, she left me with her parents and in October she got married.
Later, I found out that she married her past love. But they blamed me and I went into depression for almost 6 months.
Today after almost after 5 years I am in the same scenario.
The girl I am getting married to is arranged through relatives. She is nice, simple and down to earth but still there is this anxiety.
My first marriage was also arranged through relatives so I am having the same anxiety.
I faced several rejections for no reason. I don’t drink or smoke and wanted to go for love marriage but in my case it never worked.
Before meeting this girl whom I am about to marry I was in touch with another girl who was not ready for marriage.
Now suddenly she is acting like a female Devdas.
When I asked her out, she took me for granted and now suddenly she is feeling broken so I am in a fix.
I don't know if this second arranged marriage attempt will go down well.
My engagement will be on the same date as of marriage so I don't know what to do.
Please help me come out of this dilemma as I am having so much guilt and pain deep inside.

Ans: You can expect ECE in newer IIITs or lower NITs via CSAB. But it is advisable to keep an alternative option ready.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: You are doing many things right. At 43, with a high income, disciplined investing habit, good EPF accumulation, decent MF corpus, and strong monthly savings capacity, you are already in a much stronger position than many families in your age group. Your commitment towards family security and wealth creation is clearly visible.

However, because your family is fully dependent on you and you have multiple liabilities running together, this is the stage where proper structuring becomes more important than just investing aggressively.

» Current Financial Position Assessment

– Your total financial assets are already meaningful:

Mutual Funds – Rs.29 lakhs
Stocks – Rs.25 lakhs
EPF – Rs.43 lakhs
ULIP – Rs.11 lakhs

– Total financial assets are around Rs.1+ crore range excluding property value.

– Your monthly investments are also very strong:

MF SIP – Rs.1.5 lakhs
EPF – Rs.42,000
ULIP – Rs.42,000

– Monthly savings discipline itself is excellent.

– Your income-to-expense ratio is healthy even after large EMIs.

This shows strong earning capability and disciplined cash flow management.

» Biggest Positive in Your Case

– Your age is still on your side.

– Your SIP amount is already large enough to create serious wealth over the next 10-15 years.

– Your EMI tenure is only another 7 years. Once loans close, your free cash flow can rise sharply.

– Your current lifestyle inflation looks controlled despite a high salary. That is a major strength.

– You are building assets while managing responsibilities together. That balance is appreciable.

» Area Which Needs Immediate Attention

Your biggest concentration risk is not investment risk.

It is “income dependency risk”.

Entire family depends on one income source.

You have:
– Home loans
– Young children
– Homemaker spouse
– Long responsibility runway

So your financial structure should focus strongly on:
– protection
– liquidity
– retirement independence
– reducing complexity

» About Your ULIP Investment

Your ULIP contribution of Rs.42,000 per month is quite high.

In many cases, ULIPs become less efficient because:
– insurance and investment are mixed together
– charges can reduce long-term efficiency
– flexibility is lower
– transparency is lower
– switching decisions become restricted
– returns may not justify long lock-in periods

Since you already have meaningful MF investing discipline, separating insurance and investment can improve efficiency.

If the ULIP has already crossed lock-in and surrender becomes financially practical, you may evaluate:
– reducing future allocation
– surrendering after detailed review
– redirecting future investments towards quality actively managed mutual funds

Actively managed mutual funds can offer:
– professional fund management
– downside management during market stress
– portfolio correction based on valuations
– flexibility across sectors and market caps

This becomes important for someone like you who cannot afford major capital destruction close to retirement goals.

» Why Active Funds May Suit You Better

You are in wealth-building stage, not passive accumulation stage alone.

Index investing has some limitations:
– no protection during market crashes
– full participation in overvalued sectors
– no valuation-based decision making
– no cash holding flexibility
– weak downside management
– blindly follows index composition

For high-income professionals with family dependency and large future goals, active allocation becomes more useful.

A good Certified Financial Planner along with a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor can help monitor:
– asset allocation
– taxation
– rebalancing
– market cycles
– risk reduction

That guidance itself adds long-term value.

» About Your Stock Portfolio

Direct stocks worth Rs.25 lakhs is acceptable only if:
– portfolio is diversified
– stock selection is research-based
– allocation is monitored
– emotional decisions are avoided

Otherwise, over time, excessive direct equity exposure can create concentration risk.

For senior IT professionals, career stability itself is linked to market cycles. So investment portfolio should not become too aggressive simultaneously.

You may slowly move towards:
– more structured mutual fund allocation
– lower stock concentration
– better diversification

» Your Loan Situation

Outstanding principal of Rs.55 lakhs is manageable considering:
– your income level
– high savings capacity
– remaining tenure only 7 years

This is not an alarming debt level.

However:
– avoid taking any fresh major loans
– avoid lifestyle upgrades through borrowing
– build stronger liquid reserves

Once EMIs close, your cash flow may improve by nearly Rs.90,000 monthly. That itself can accelerate financial freedom significantly.

» Emergency Fund Requirement

This is one area where many high earners underestimate risk.

You should maintain at least:
– 12 months of total household obligations

That includes:
– EMI
– household expenses
– school expenses
– insurance premiums

Considering your profile, emergency liquidity should be strong and easily accessible.

» Insurance Review

Since your family fully depends on you, adequate pure term insurance is very important.

You should review:
– whether existing life cover is sufficient
– whether family goals are fully protected
– whether liabilities are covered adequately

Also ensure:
– family floater health insurance is strong
– critical illness cover is available
– personal accident cover exists

Protection planning is extremely important for single-income families.

» How Much Corpus Needed for Financial Freedom

Your current family expenses:
– around Rs.1 lakh monthly excluding EMI

Future realities:
– children education inflation
– healthcare inflation
– lifestyle inflation
– retirement longevity

After including these, your long-term family requirement can become much larger than current expense levels suggest.

For someone with:
– young children
– dependent spouse
– high lifestyle responsibility
– long retirement horizon

Financial freedom generally requires a very substantial retirement corpus.

You should target a stage where:
– investment income alone can comfortably manage family expenses
– education goals are separately funded
– loans are fully closed
– medical contingencies are covered
– retirement income does not depend on salary

Considering your current savings pace, you are on a good path if:
– investments continue consistently
– income remains stable
– unnecessary liabilities are avoided
– asset allocation is improved

» Suggested Changes in Your Plan

– Continue strong MF SIPs
– Review ULIP continuation carefully
– Increase allocation towards actively managed diversified funds
– Reduce dependency on direct stocks gradually if concentration is high
– Build larger emergency corpus
– Avoid fresh liabilities
– Review term insurance adequacy
– Ensure goal-based investing for children
– Do periodic portfolio rebalancing
– Plan retirement corpus separately from children goals

» Finally

You are already in a financially progressive position. The next stage is not about investing more aggressively. It is about investing more intelligently and structurally.

Your income is strong today. If you combine that with:
– proper risk management
– disciplined investing
– controlled liabilities
– better portfolio structuring
– long-term consistency

then achieving financial freedom in your 50s is very much achievable.

The biggest wealth creators are not always the highest earners. They are the people who sustain disciplined investing for long periods while avoiding major mistakes. You are already showing many of those qualities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

Ans: Shivraj Sir, At 87.5 percentile, JEE Main CRL may be around 1.8–2 lakh; with EWS, NIT/IIIT CS/ECE/IT is difficult, but try CSAB for GFTIs/lower branches. JoSAA confirms EWS cut-offs use EWS rank, not percentile.

With VITEEE rank 73,045, Vellore/Chennai CS/ECE is unlikely; try VIT-AP/Bhopal CSE/IT/ECE in higher categories. VIT fee/category details are official. If possible, have 3-4 more reputed private colleges as backups and also your stat counselling, instead of relying only on JoSAA/CSAB/VIT. All the Best for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: With SC rank 22,779 / CRL 350587, NIT/IIIT CSE/ECE through JoSAA is difficult. Still, you can fill NIT Raipur's lower branches, GFTIs and CSAB. JoSAA says SC cut-offs use SC category rank.

Your better chances are VITEEE rank 29,364. You can try VIT Chennai/AP/Bhopal CSE specialisations, ECE, EEE, though Vellore CSE may need higher fee category.

With TS EAPCET 11,143, Telangana admissions are less predictable because you are from Chhattisgarh/non-local. Still try women’s colleges/private Telangana CSE/ECE/IT options. Have the backup of Chattisgarh State Counselling also. All the Best for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: There are no good or bad streams/branches. And, as far as BITS is concerned, chances are very low even for MSc Programs. However, answering your question, please note, at JEE Main CRL 26,191 for North India, prefer IIIT Allahabad ECE/ECE-linked options if available, then PEC Chandigarh ECE, NIT Kurukshetra ECE, NIT Delhi ECE, IIIT Una ECE, IIIT Sonepat/IIIT Lucknow CS-allied only if cut-off permits, and BIT Mesra ECE. Check JoSAA 2025/2024 because Open seats use CRL rank. Keep BITS only as backup after Session 2. All the Best for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Deepak, at VITEEE rank 13,000, VIT Vellore CSE Category 1 is highly unlikely. Expected Vellore CSE Category 1 usually closes within the top ranks, far before 13,000. Try Vellore CSE higher categories, Chennai CSE specialisations, or VIT-AP/Bhopal CSE Category 1–2 as safer choices. All the Best for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: You have not mentioned your home state. Anyway, please note, at 60k CRL, General Female, CSE/IT in top NITs are unlikely. You can still target IIIT Dharwad CSE/ECE, IIIT Kottayam ECE/CSE-allied, IIIT Kurnool AI/DS/ECE, IIIT Bhagalpur ECE, IIIT Una ECE, IIIT Nagpur ECE, and NITs in the Northeast/lower NITs for ECE or EE. Also fill GFTIs like BIT Mesra off-campus, Assam University, and Mizoram University. Have 3-4 more backup options of reputed private colleges in and around your state instead of relying only on JOSAA/CSAB if you are branch/location-specific. All the Best for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Rinkal, For most students targeting software careers, the order of preference can be IIIT Vadodara CSE > Nirma CSE > SVNIT Electrical > IIIT Surat CSE. IIIT Vadodara gets first because it is an Institute of National Importance with a sharper CS-focused curriculum, though its temporary-campus issue remains a drawback. Nirma CSE is next for its mature 1997 department, stronger campus ecosystem, and strong official placement outcomes. SVNIT Electrical comes third: excellent NIT brand, solid academics, and official EE placements, but branch disadvantage versus CSE. IIIT Surat CSE is fourth because it is newer, less proven, and has weaker publicly verifiable placement transparency right now. All the Best for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Sudhir, If 198000 is CRL, DTU Mechanical is possible mainly with Delhi-region OBC quota, as DTU 2025 Round-5 Mechanical closed around 288743 in Delhi region; JAC cut-offs are based on JEE Main All India CRL, not OBC rank.

Preference: USICT IT > USAR AI & DS > DTU Mechanical, if you want software/IT career. USICT/USAR come under GGSIPU counselling, not JAC Delhi; admissions are JEE Main based.

Choose DTU Mechanical only if you value DTU brand and are ready for coding/analytics upskilling. It is advisable to have the backup options of MAIT, MSIT, BVCOE IT/CSE & 2-3 more reputed private colleges instead of relying only on CSAB/JAC-Delhi. All the Best for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.