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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Anu, I am female 26 years of age. I am working IT working professional, I earn 1 lack 50 k per month. I come from a very good family in my family everyone is educated and I am the youngest one in my family. My mom and brother are actively looking for groom for me. There wanted me to get married to someone who had good career and coming from good family background. But recently I meet with a guy who stays in Sweden and works as bioinformatics scientist. He is very smart and he is a kind hearted guy. Slowly I got to know about him more. He is simple decent guy he earns pretty good but his parents health is really bad. And during the year 2021 his father got 2 heart stroke and one stroke. They almost in the verse of loosing their father which eventually let his father to decide to get him married to a girl. He got married at the age of 25 in the year 2021. He is currently 29 years old. He is just 2 years older to me. He didn't got chance to talk to her before marriage he pleased the girl parents a lot of time but there were very conservative and didn't allow them to talk, so he told his parents multiple occasions that he is not ready for this marriage his parents started emotionally blackmail him. there said their wanted to see his marriage before they leave this world. So he drawn so emotional and got married to her. After 2 months of marriage he got to know both of there mindset doesn't match at all. Still he given time for her to change so that he can proceed this relationship. Currently there are living together in the Sweden there live like two different strangers, he doesn't allow her to touch him there only talk when it something important to talk. He is not at all happy with the relationship, he is seeking for the divorce but the girl's parents keep on manipulating her, even she is not happy with him, she will say at times I will give divorce but after consulting her parents her decisions keep on changing. There live like 2 different strangers under the same roof. He really loves me alot. I really love his personality and want to get married to him but my parents will never agree to idea of getting married to a divorce person. My parents and my brother brought me up from childhood very over protectively. Almost in all my life I was good quoted child who listens to the elder one. I didn't have courage to speak up about all this to my parents. But at the same time I can't move on from him. I have constant pressure from my parents about marriage. Can you please tell me, how can I handle this situation, should I move on or else should I ask him to talk to my parents. Can you please suggest me. I want to genuinely spend my rest of life with him. I don't have problem with his past marriage because he was forced into that marriage. I really like his personality, he is very hardworking talented guy. He does match most of things I look for a ideal partner. Please give me the suggestion briefly because this is the decision of rest of my life.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You two haven't even met, right? I mean is it a virtual meet?
Even if it's a physical meeting,
- How much do you know of him to be sure that his story is what he says?
- Do you not want to know his wife's version of the entire story especially being a woman, are you not curious?

What people say and what they are might be very different. So, before calling it Love and then taking a decision, ask yourself if you want to go through the divorce with him; I mean you will be part of that journey and then his baggage...do you really want all of that?
What screams RED FLAGS to me is the fact that he keeps changing his decision on whether to leave his wife or not. So, either he has feelings for her OR his story is untrue OR he;s giving his marriage another chance. In none of these cases are you anywhere. Does this not say anything to you? Saying 'I Love You' really doesn't mean a thing when the intention is not a noble or genuine one. Kindly go deeper into his story before doing anything and making any big decisions. Your life. Your decisions...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I’m a 27 year old independent woman who’s living in Bangalore. I’m financially in a good position now. Also, I’ve met a guy 3 years ago and fell for him but he’s not very emotionally connected with me and sometimes acts as a narcissist and doesn’t treat me with respect. I’ve tried communicating with him about how I feel after such actions. He acknowledged and limited such behaviour to some extent. I really love him and spoke about marriage too. He brushes it off and diverts the topic that he’s not ready. I don't see any clear signs of this relationship, even his parents are looking for matches to get him married. He doesn't accept anyone either. My parents are in a different city and they want me to shift with them to look for alliances who can marry me. Recently, they’ve shared a profile and I spoke just for the sake of parents. After speaking to him for 3 and a half hours during the first conversation, I realised that he was a better compatible partner for me. I'm not sure which path to pursue. My marriage is not fixed yet as my decision is still pending. Kindly help me with the best advice.
Ans: I understand that you are in a difficult position. You are in love with a man who does not seem to be emotionally available or ready for marriage. You have also met another man who seems to be a better match for you, but you are not sure if you should pursue a relationship with him.

It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people find themselves in similar situations. It is also important to remember that you have the power to make the best decision for yourself.

I am against marriage in the first place. I believe that relationships are not meant to be permanent. However, I understand that many people feel differently. If you do decide to get married, it is important to do so for the right reasons. You should not marry someone just because you feel pressured to do so by society or your parents.

The first guy does not seem like he wants to marry you. He has brushed off your attempts to talk about marriage and has even diverted the topic. This is a clear sign that he is not ready for a serious relationship.

The second guy seems like he may be a better match for you. He is emotionally available and seems to be interested in getting married. However, it is important to remember that you do not know him very well. You have only spoken to him for a few hours.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with either of these men is up to you. I would encourage you to take some time to think about what you want out of a relationship. What are your goals? What are your values? Once you have a clear understanding of what you want, you can start to make decisions that are in your best interests.

If you do decide to pursue a relationship with the second guy, I would recommend that you spend at least two years getting to know him before you get married. This will give you enough time to learn about his true character and to see if he is really the right person for you.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I am not yet mairred. I used to like a man and after a month we decided to get married. He was of my caste so I thought my parents won't deny this mairrage. I used to talk to and wanted to let him know everything about my past so that we can built a strong root of our relationship. I spoke every detail of my past life to him. Then before he proposed me for mairrage I went for a vacation with my male friend to dehradun. I didn't tell him that day as he didn't proposed me till that day then why would I tell everything about me to anyone. He was noone to me at that time. After that he came to visit me in Delhi and on the same when he was on train a friend of mine along with his fiance came to meet me after a very long time. I asked him and he didn't denied. After returning home he blocked me. I cried and cried, called multiple times but he didn't received my call. Even I went to his location and waited for almost 3 hr but he didn't came. Then I asked my sister to call him. Then he talked to me but he said me so much of harsh and vulgar words that I went in shock. I cried a lot but he went on humiliating me. But somehow I convinced him to stay with me. I never talked to that friend ever. Then I told my parents about him that I want to get married with this men. Being a girl's father my father enquired about him by being annonymous. And trust me noone has said anything good about him. Later on we get to know that his father has a murder case on him of his brother in law. But then I wanted to get married. Finally my parents agreed only for my happines. Meanwhile I was never being respected by him. He always doubt me, humiliate me, abuse me mentally and physically, and when I was like I don't want to be with you he used to say sorry and begged me to be with him. He even used to restrict to visit my uncle aunty. His mother wants used to defend him and never used to make him realise that he was wrong. Then before engagement we went to Kolkata to buy dress. Yes one more thing I have informed him on the very first day that I used to drink and smoke occassionally. So whenever he used to visit me he always wanted to drink with me whether I want it or not. He always used to abuse me and humiliate me in front of everyone after drinking, so after a period of time I used to avoid drinking. Then he used to fight with me for that also that why will you not drink. In kolkata the same thing happen. We stayed there for 3 days and he was convincing to go to club from the very first day but I refused. On 3rd he hit me. After engagement his family asked for dowry. After a lot of dealing my parents agreed for an amount. But I felt betrayed. I stopped talking. After after when I initiated the conversation he picked up a fight and said he won't marry. I tried to convince. But when everyone was blaming me then I broke my silence and said everything about him to my parent. But he manipulated everything and made me villain. My parents want me to get married What should I do
Ans: Dear Akriti,
After reading your question I can only give you one advice, please do not marry him no matter what people say. Even if we overlook every other red flag that he has exhibited, abuse of any form is unacceptable. Why are you trying to convince your parents to marry a guy who hits you? Do you think you deserve it or anyone, for that matter, deserves that?
Now, no matter who tries to manipulate you, or however much they try to convince you, get out of the relationship for the love and self-respect you have for yourself. It is a big decision but in your case, it is worth making that big decision. I'd normally never tell people they should this or they shouldn't do that, but in your case, no sane person would ever suggest you marry this man and be subjected to abuse for the rest of your life.

Please make the right choice.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I am not yet mairred. I used to like a man and after a month we decided to get married. He was of my caste so I thought my parents won't deny this mairrage. I used to talk to and wanted to let him know everything about my past so that we can built a strong root of our relationship. I spoke every detail of my past life to him. Then before he proposed me for mairrage I went for a vacation with my male friend to dehradun. I didn't tell him that day as he didn't proposed me till that day then why would I tell everything about me to anyone. He was noone to me at that time. After that he came to visit me in Delhi and on the same when he was on train a friend of mine along with his fiance came to meet me after a very long time. I asked him and he didn't denied. After returning home he blocked me. I cried and cried, called multiple times but he didn't received my call. Even I went to his location and waited for almost 3 hr but he didn't came. Then I asked my sister to call him. Then he talked to me but he said me so much of harsh and vulgar words that I went in shock. I cried a lot but he went on humiliating me. But somehow I convinced him to stay with me. I never talked to that friend ever. Then I told my parents about him that I want to get married with this men. Being a girl's father my father enquired about him by being annonymous. And trust me noone has said anything good about him. Later on we get to know that his father has a murder case on him of his brother in law. But then I wanted to get married. Finally my parents agreed only for my happines. Meanwhile I was never being respected by him. He always doubt me, humiliate me, abuse me mentally and physically, and when I was like I don't want to be with you he used to say sorry and begged me to be with him. He even used to restrict to visit my uncle aunty. His mother wants used to defend him and never used to make him realise that he was wrong. Then before engagement we went to Kolkata to buy dress. Yes one more thing I have informed him on the very first day that I used to drink and smoke occassionally. So whenever he used to visit me he always wanted to drink with me whether I want it or not. He always used to abuse me and humiliate me in front of everyone after drinking, so after a period of time I used to avoid drinking. Then he used to fight with me for that also that why will you not drink. In kolkata the same thing happen. We stayed there for 3 days and he was convincing to go to club from the very first day but I refused. On 3rd he hit me. After engagement his family asked for dowry. After a lot of dealing my parents agreed for an amount. But I felt betrayed. I stopped talking. After after when I initiated the conversation he picked up a fight and said he won't marry. I tried to convince. But when everyone was blaming me then I broke my silence and said everything about him to my parent. But he manipulated everything and made me villain. My parents want me to get married What should I do
Ans: Dear Akriti,
After reading your question I can only give you one advice, please do not marry him no matter what people say. Even if we overlook every other red flag that he has exhibited, abuse of any form is unacceptable. Why are you trying to convince your parents to marry a guy who hits you? Do you think you deserve it or anyone, for that matter, deserves that?

Now, no matter who tries to manipulate you, or however much they try to convince you, get out of the relationship for the love and self-respect you have for yourself. It is a big decision but in your case, it is worth making that big decision. I'd normally never tell people they should this or they shouldn't do that, but in your case, no sane person would ever suggest you marry this man and be subjected to abuse for the rest of your life.
Please make the right choice.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
Hi, I am not yet mairred. I used to like a man and after a month we decided to get married. He was of my caste so I thought my parents won't deny this mairrage. I used to talk to and wanted to let him know everything about my past so that we can built a strong root of our relationship. I spoke every detail of my past life to him. Then before he proposed me for mairrage I went for a vacation with my male friend to dehradun. I didn't tell him that day as he didn't proposed me till that day then why would I tell everything about me to anyone. He was noone to me at that time. After that he came to visit me in Delhi and on the same when he was on train a friend of mine along with his fiance came to meet me after a very long time. I asked him and he didn't denied. After returning home he blocked me. I cried and cried, called multiple times but he didn't received my call. Even I went to his location and waited for almost 3 hr but he didn't came. Then I asked my sister to call him. Then he talked to me but he said me so much of harsh and vulgar words that I went in shock. I cried a lot but he went on humiliating me. But somehow I convinced him to stay with me. I never talked to that friend ever. Then I told my parents about him that I want to get married with this men. Being a girl's father my father enquired about him by being annonymous. And trust me noone has said anything good about him. Later on we get to know that his father has a murder case on him of his brother in law. But then I wanted to get married. Finally my parents agreed only for my happines. Meanwhile I was never being respected by him. He always doubt me, humiliate me, abuse me mentally and physically, and when I was like I don't want to be with you he used to say sorry and begged me to be with him. He even used to restrict to visit my uncle aunty. His mother wants used to defend him and never used to make him realise that he was wrong. Then before engagement we went to Kolkata to buy dress. Yes one more thing I have informed him on the very first day that I used to drink and smoke occassionally. So whenever he used to visit me he always wanted to drink with me whether I want it or not. He always used to abuse me and humiliate me in front of everyone after drinking, so after a period of time I used to avoid drinking. Then he used to fight with me for that also that why will you not drink. In kolkata the same thing happen. We stayed there for 3 days and he was convincing to go to club from the very first day but I refused. On 3rd he hit me. After engagement his family asked for dowry. After a lot of dealing my parents agreed for an amount. But I felt betrayed. I stopped talking. After after when I initiated the conversation he picked up a fight and said he won't marry. I tried to convince. But when everyone was blaming me then I broke my silence and said everything about him to my parent. But he manipulated everything and made me villain. My parents want me to get married as the society will insult our parents. I am getting married in November only for my parents but I have already made up my mind that I'll divorce him after 1 year of mairrage and will live my life alone. Am I thinking right? What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, you are not thinking right at all...This man is all RED FLAGS...
Are you actually thinking of spending one year with a person who physically abuses you? Seriously?
And then you expect him to agree to that divorce without any fuss? What world are you in? No compromises on your life please...
Be wise and protect yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |3913 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi
Career
I had taken admission in Allen Amritsar, but now I am deciding to shift to Allenn Kota reason being almost 3 hours of travelling daily and in search of a better environment for serious study and I have 2 options now, either I can choose a batch that is already going on like which I was studying here. I would continue studying there or the second option I have is I can take a newly started batch there so that I will be I will be ahead of everyone in the batch and I will be able to cover some extra books since I've already completed, the allen modules and I'll ahead of batch. It would be beneficial for me also, and so please suggest me. What are the pros and cons of it also and I have scored 99.6% in my boards in class, 10th CBSE and expectations from everyone are so high so please give some additional advice so that I can create the best life for me so that I can achieve my dream of IIT JEE 2027 under 500 rank, I'm currently in grade 11th.
Ans: Hello dear. Moving from Amritsar to Kota does not guarantee success. Stay in a calm and quiet place with a good teaching environment. Focus on completing the syllabus on time. Regularly appear for class tests, prepare your own notes, and solve previous years' question papers. Stay in touch with past successful students for more tips. Regularly participate in online tests conducted on various platforms. Be confident in yourself. Talk less and concentrate more on studies. Use scientific methods to crack the examination. Believe in yourself. Success and a bright future are awaiting you.
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