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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1591 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Anu, I am 43, married woman. We hv a college going teenager son. My hubby has a hi-profile job and I am a language instructor. Since past one year or so, my husband and I are drifting apart. Whenever we try to make up, we end up messier and even raking a lot of muck on each other due to silly points. This distances us further. In all this, my son has taken my place as his father's friend in.the house and confidant. Not that I dont like this, am happy as they both are mine. My husband dsnt really hv time to listen to my emotional banter. And I hv been feeling very lonely and sidelined. Anu I made friends with a married man some months back with whom I spoke for few months and he became a very good friend to me and my confidant.. it was a platonic friendship and he was always kind and sympathetic and supported me a lot.He brought so much goodness in my life in just those few months. But we decided to discontinue talking for sake of family and maybe I brought this on me by letting him know that I should not hide this from my husband about just plain friendship with another male. We r not talking anymore but he shares all that matters to him with me too not personally though(online) by letting me be part of his statuses. As for me, it hasn't been easy to let him go. Every single day, I hear his words in my head and there is this void which makes me squirm at my loss. Its as if a part of me is dead. I want him to just be back with me as friends or which ever way and talk to me. I ll make sure i make no mistakes this time. am unable to get over this friend of mine.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Filling up emotional voids by inviting another person only qualifies for more stress and confusion.
Obviously you have got attached to this other person and rightly so; someone who offers a lending ear when you need it the most always seems to be caring about you. Plus you have a comparison point in your husband which will always mostly make you believe that your actions are justified.

Now, this is not to make you feel guilty BUT just to tell you that any void that is filled with an external source and not by yourself is going to make you feel the way you are; strained, anxious and maybe even desperate over time.
Ask yourself:
Can I just stop with being friends with this man without having him fulfil my emotional void?
If YES, then great...
If NO, then you might want to understand that entanglement of feelings is a possibility that you might have to deal with later.

Check where you are on the spectrum of emotions and whether you can find other ways of feeding your emotional needs without 'needing' this man. Then when you reach out to him, it will be a healthy association for both of you.
Also, make that effort within your marriage as hard as it may seem now to bridge things between you and your husband. Gaps within the marriage most often allow for a third person to step in.
Be your best friend first...

All the best!
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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4448 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 20, 2025

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My JEE main CRL rank is 37000 and and OBC rank is 10442 Will I get Electronics or Mechanical at tier 1 Nit's
Ans: Dear Tilak, Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile | Convert the Percentile to AIR, based on the Formula available in Google.
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

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