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Feeling Lost: Shy, Jobless 35-Year-Old With Masters Feels Left Out - How to Get Back on Track?

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4795 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Nayagam is a certified career counsellor and the founder of EduJob360.
He started his career as an HR professional and has over 10 years of experience in tutoring and mentoring students from Classes 8 to 12, helping them choose the right stream, course and college/university.
He also counsels students on how to prepare for entrance exams for getting admission into reputed universities /colleges for their graduate/postgraduate courses.
He has guided both fresh graduates and experienced professionals on how to write a resume, how to prepare for job interviews and how to negotiate their salary when joining a new job.
Nayagam has published an eBook, Professional Resume Writing Without Googling.
He has a postgraduate degree in human resources from Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, Delhi, a postgraduate diploma in labour law from Madras University, a postgraduate diploma in school counselling from Symbiosis, Pune, and a certification in child psychology from Counsel India.
He has also completed his master’s degree in career counselling from ICCC-Mindler and Counsel, India.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
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Career

I am 35 years old woman. I am shy and introvert. I don't know if I earlier was the same. I have done my masters in English literature with just 47 percent marks. That led me to do another masters in public administration where I secured 55 percent marks. After several attempts I was able to qualify for UGC NET exam. Earlier also I have given multiple govt. exams, cleared prelims round but was unable to go to the final cut. I have done my graduation in Journalism in 2010.I joined as a content writer for a company but a coworker dominated me and I left the jib in just one week. I feel that I have no skills. I am afraid to talk ti anyone. I have fear of interviews. How to deal with that? How to get a job, how can I be financially independent? I feel so left out, all ny friends have reached superior positions and here I am stuck.

Ans: Madam, Apologize for late reply. You have NOT mentioned, since 2010 till date, what you had been doing & about family background? Did you work any where or were doing any part-time jobs? Anyway, please note, (1) 'Office Politics' is everywhere, even in Top-Corporate-MNC Companies also. How to handle 'Office Politics' depends upon (a) how you perceive others and others perceive you (b) your skills and knowledge (c) your self-confidence (d) office hierarchy / organizational flow (d) your relationship with peers / superiors, related to your job profile (2) Have self-confidence / self-esteem over you and avoid comparing yourself with your friends (3) Now think over which all fields you are interested in. (4) As age is a major factor & keeping in view your educational qualifications / attempts in Govt Exams, you can opt for 'Teaching' at home for the school-children around your home for the subjects you are confident such as English, Social Science & Language. (5) Try this to keep yourself engaged with school children and to get a mental relief from your (some assumed) psychological problems. (6) There is always a demand for Home Tutors. Charge reasonable fees and have patience to become popular in your locality (7) You have to come out of your 'Introvert' personality and talk to your reliable and affectionate friends / relatives. This will further reduce your psychological problem (8) You can even apply to schools for 'Teaching Positions' even if the salary is low initially for the subjects like English, Social Science, depending upon the Grade. If you have any other question(s) related to your career / options, please ask me here in RediffGURU. All The BEST Madam. God Bless You.
Asked on - Aug 10, 2024 | Not Answered yet
I tried for teaching jobs but was not selected.I have a six year old child to take care of.I live in a nuclear family. I have made my profile on LinkedIn but seeing my classmates in an upper position demotivates me.

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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2023Hindi
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I am 48 years old. Ever since my childhood I was a bright student but was denied education and other facilities like good clothes, footwears etc despite I was being a only son having 2 sisters, where as eldest sister was provided with extra facilities which she did not care for. Our economical background was moderate. We were not poor. After my schooling which was free I completed my diploma and degree in mech. Engg(long distance education) of my own and worked in related companies for 10 years. My performance was appreciated orally but received nominal monitory benefits. After that I learnt Info Tech skills from my savings and worked in IT field for 16 years. Here also my work was highly appreciated but received quite a minimal monitory benefits, May be because of my very simple and state forward nature but not naïve one certainly. Now since last 1 year I learnt trading skills in share market, but here also, even though I am not in loss but is still awaiting a minimum satisfactory success. I am able to cater to all the requirement of my nuclear family but does not have a car and still not able to make long distance tours. Now days I feel like I am a big looser and also feel like my luck will never let me win big. Whereas most of my friends have achieved great success in less than 5% struggle than mine with the help of their parents. I am feeling diminished, lost, wasted and hapless/hopeless. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's accept that not all of us are born with a silver spoon and furthermore, we may always be at the losing end with core relationships as well...
At 48, do you want to go back in time and count all that went wrong, how unfair people and life was? Are you able to change anything? NO!

1. You cannot change your past but you can certainly change the way you feel about it.
2. The way you feel about your past is what will create your current reality. You can check with yourself; your present life is possibly filled with challenges and short-lived happy times. That is because you have chosen to play the VICTIM card even now. What happens in the past, stays there.
3. Why not instead laud your efforts at learning new skills at trading and expand your expertise through certifications and other forms of learning? This will not only help at work but will also teach you to look within yourself more.
4. I am unsure if your statistic of 5% is something that you have come up with enough research
5. Your parents did what they could and to accept it even if you feel unfairly treated is the only way you can move ahead

Choose: Play the victim of the past OR Play the creator of the present and future.

To choose the latter will mean. letting go of the past that you are holding onto? Are you ready to do this? I am sure you want to; who wouldn't want to create a better life for themselves?

All the best!

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |113 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am a 23 year old BTech graduate from Mumbai, jobless since a year now. I have applied to several jobs and attended 12 interviews in the last 3 months. Either the HR doesn't call or there is no feedback at all. I am feeling very low and dejected. I want to know if there is anything I can do to improve myself and get a job soon. How can I boost my self-confidence and self-worth? Pls help
Ans: Hi!! You are still young and it's just the beginning for you, don't feel dejected pls. There is always something to learn from a rejection ,be supremely self aware and be aware of the interviewer ,read other's body language and master your own body language to give out the right messages. See if you can learn interview skills form an expert. Make notes after every interview, rate yourself on-
1. your confidence level( the first impression you gave, your clothing, your shoes, how you entered the room, everything makes a difference)
2. the answers you gave
3. interviewer's reaction to your answers
4. how truthful and honest you were
5. was this better than your last interview
(you can keep adding to your list)
The only way to boost your self confidence and self worth is to believe that you are worthy of all good things in the world. Give yourself lot of self love, there are talents in you which no other person has, look for that! Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, affirm all the things you want in yourself and for yourself!!Just google " self affirmations" and make your own list of affirmations... ....give yourself lot of positive strokes throughout the day, be your best cheer leader, pat yourself on the back for every good act. All the best...remember to be your best cheer leader!!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4795 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2024Hindi
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Career
I have passed PG Diploma in Hindi Journalism and Mass Communication from Tilkamanjhi Bhagalpur University, Bhagalpur with 68 % marks.I have passed my MA in English Literature from NCWEB (Delhi University) with 47 percent marks that is third division in 2012.I have completed my graduation in English Journalism from Maharaja Agrasen College of Delhi University with 62. 36 %marks. Apart from these, I have MA in Public Administration from Nalanda Open University.I have to do this because I didn't get good marks in Masters of English Also,I have degree in Bachelor of education with 75 percent marks but I still feel as a failure.I applied for various government jobs but was not able to make to the final list.I married in 2016 and had a son in 2017 , started B.Ed after he turned one.Cleared CTET and NET but was able to secure a Job.I feel like a failure .I am 35 and not financially independent.I sm shy and introvert.
Ans: Instead of trying for Jobs immediately after you completed your PGD in Journalism / Mass Communication (for which a person should be extrovert), you should have tried for jobs. You just kept on adding only qualifications & you have also mentioned you are and introvert. You can try for Teaching Jobs locally / through LinkedIn or start taking home tuitions initially for the Subjects like English, Social Science etc. and you have to come out of introvert trait to proceed further. All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / Follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

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Latest Questions
Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |790 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 22, 2025

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My son got 95.299 percetile in jee mains. Didnt appear for advanced as he is preparing fot bits. He got CS business system in Thapar. Whats the best option through csab counselling. Whats the order of preference
Ans: With a JEE Main percentile of 95.2, your son is eligible for admission to several NITs and IIITs through CSAB counselling. His best options would be to prioritize NITs with strong computer science programs, followed by IIITs, and finally, GFTIs. A strong choice would be NITs like NIT Calicut, IIIT Allahabad, or VNIT Nagpur, followed by IIITs with CSE programs like IIITM Gwalior or IIIT Delhi.
Order of Preference for CSAB Counseling:
1. NITs with strong CSE programs:
Consider NIT Calicut, NIT Kurukshetra, SVNIT Surat, and VNIT Nagpur, as these are known for their good placements and infrastructure.
2. IIITs with CSE programs:
IIITs offer specialized computer science programs and are a good option if you're aiming for a career in software development or AI. Consider IIIT Allahabad, IIITM Gwalior, IIIT Delhi.
3. GFTIs (Government Funded Technical Institutes):
These are generally less prestigious than NITs and IIITs, but can still offer a good education. Consider COEP Pune or other GFTIs that have good placement records.
4. Thapar CS Business Systems:
While Thapar is a good institution, it's important to consider whether your son's interests align more with a traditional CS program or a more business-oriented one. He could also consider upgrading to a better CS program through CSAB if possible.
Important Considerations for CSAB Counseling:
Preferences:
Carefully consider your son's interests and career goals when filling out his preferences. Don't just focus on the top-ranked colleges; also consider the specific programs and their faculty.
Cut-offs:
Check the previous year's cut-offs for each college and program to understand the level of competition.
Placements:
Research the placement records of each college and program to see how well graduates are getting jobs.
Infrastructure and Facilities:
Consider the quality of labs, libraries, and other facilities that are available at each college.
Location:
Think about the location of the college and whether it's suitable for your son's needs.
By carefully considering these factors and prioritizing the right choices, your son can maximize his chances of securing a seat in a good engineering program through CSAB counselling.

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